One of my favourite Counselling.. SPOT ON..MOST IMPORTANT FOR TODAY's YOUTH:
How can I bear the pain of separation of my loved one?
COUNSELLING:
A male devotee with abbreviated name E.L asked like this:
"How can we forget the pain gave by the person we trusted most? coz i thought she is nly my future she also said the same..Her father got cancer frm tat day she avoided me nw she completely gone"
REPLY:
That is why, I have been telling the youth to immediately marry if they love anybody. If you postpone for long, anything may happen in due course of time. 50% of loves end in failures only because of prolonged delay.
Why I have been telling so?
Let us take some cases:
1. If you and your girl start to love while doing +2, both you and her are dependents of their parents. So, no worries and they are free to love. So, both of you will be speaking dialogues such as:
"I am your life and you are my soul"
"If you do not marry me, I will die",
"you are the most beautiful girl in this whole universe"
"I am the most fortunate person in this universe as I am getting you as my wife" etc.
So, it will seem that everything is going fine. So, touches, beyond that may happen. This will continue for 5 years. Mean time, she would have completed her Medicine and you would have completed ordinary degree. Why? Because, usually, in love affairs, the girls perform well both in love and studies simultaneously. But, the boys spend their most of the attention on that girl and praising and satisfying her alone, and hence he gets low marks. (Sorry: There are excemptions in everything).
When she finishes her MBBS, she becomes a doctor. Becomes a stylish girl and seeing 1000s of rupees of money every day. Now, she is not the same girl who you saw in +2. So, she gets more and more friends professionally. So, she has to spend more time with them as she becomes busy. She hardly gets time to spend with you. She is getting some benefits also from the professional associates.
All these factors accumulate and create some kind of complex in you. You start to feel inferior to speak to her. You use some extra words out of inferiority complex. It irritates her. She starts to consider you as immatured whereas her official associates are well matured.
So, she starts to go away from you and she one day marries another doctor who is working with her.
This is natural in this material world. When statuses change towards upwards direction, things will go against you IF YOU REMAIN LESS IN STATUS COMPARED TO YOUR LOVED ONE.
Same has happened in your case. You delayed the process of marriage. Mean time, some unfortunate thing happened in her life. So she went away. She may feel insecured as her father got cancer.
Just imagine how can a girl concentrate in you when her loved father is struggling in cancer. If I am a girl, I will stop loving you and dedicate myself to my father. Then, I will marry you if you are still waiting/ available even after I clear the problems of my father. She has also done that. Nothing wrong in her side.
So, just tell her that you will wait for her for a certain years. And also assure your support that you will be supportive to her father even after marriage and you will allow her at her father's house even after marriage. Or, tell her that you and she can get a house near her father's house and both of you can take care of her father from near her house. If she okays your gesture , marry her and allow her to stay in her father's house for as many days as possible and settle in an house near to her house. Discuss this point with her ailing father too.
If she does not agree with this idea, just wait for one or two years and then leave her if nothing happened. Marry one of the crores of good girls in this world and live happily.
Be practical in life. Do not entrust yourself to any person and then cry. If you had married her immediately after proposal, now, both of you could have taken care fo her father as son-in-law. You delayed. Her life changed. So, challenges in your affairs.
This is the effect of delaying marriage. So, follow the tips given by me. All the best
TAIL PIECE:
My general advice to today's youth is: Love is a pleasant pain. It may end up either in successs or failure. So, do not take efforts to love anybody. If you love anybody naturally without your effforts and u consider that she/ he will be suitable for your goals of life, then, do not spend long days in loving and ,meeting secretly that is against your parents who trust you blindly. So, talk to her/ him and enter into marriage immediately with the help of your parents. As far as possible, do not go for secret marriages. Choose a right eprson and marry with the suport of yr parents. Your parents are capable of choosing better boy/ girl for you than your choice because, they are backed by experience with love and mariage.
