Its in Hindi...
Adding the Roman Hindi version on great public demand😆:
Poorva Premi Ka Khat
Dear Dimpoo, tumne dedh (1.5) baras tak jo mujhse pyaar kiya, uska shukriya. Asha hai, patra (letter) milne tak tumne nayaa premi pakad liya hoga. Uske saath ab dating par bhi jaa rahi hogi. Har premi ko bahut struggle karna padta hai. Main bhi struggle kar rahaa hoon. Pyaar ke dhai akshar kambakht bade mushkil se pakad mein aate hain. Maine bhi tumhe miss karne ke baad mohalle ki hi Sheeno par langar daalna shuru kar diya hai. Prem ka mera chautha (4th) prayaas (try) hai. Lekin in prayaaso ne mujhe ek seekh di hai. Dimpoo, tum to jaanti ho ki prem shuru karte hi kambakht love letter likhne padhte hain. Pataa hai naa, maine tumhe kitne patra likhe? Pehle ke do prem prakarno (cases) mein bhi letterbaazi karni padhi. Badaa jhanjhat hai prem marg mein. Isiliye tum mere samasta (saare) prem-patra (love letter) lauta dena. Tumhe likhe unn prem patron par safeda potkar Dimpoo ki jagah Sheeno likh doonga. Isse meri mehnat bach jaayegi. Please, mere prem patra lauta dena, kyonki unki photo copy bhi mere paas nahin hai.
Dimpoo, tum meri woh photo bhi wapas kar dena. Tum to jaanti ho ki wahi ekmatra photo aisi hai, jisme main theek-thaak dikhta hoon. Woh mere pehle pyaar waale dino ki photo hai. Badi keemti hai. Mere prem patron ke saath meri wah photo bhi bhej dena, taaki Sheeno ko bhej sakoon.
Aur haan, apne pyaar kaand mein dedh varsh ke dauran mere dwara kiye gaye kharch ka hisaab bhej rahaa hoon. Asha hai, tum sheeghra hi iss kharch ka bhugtan kar bharpai kar dogi, taaki tumhe bhi naye pyaar ke liye meri aur se N.O.C. (No Objection Certificate) jaari ho sake aur main bhi naye pyaar par kharch karna shuru kar doon. Hisaab iss prakaar hai: Chat Pakori 895 Rs, Cold Drinks 2938 Rs, Snacks 5645 Rs, Juice 3845 Rs, Film 1235 Rs, Chatting 1499 Rs, Mobile Phone Conversation 2546 Rs, Petrol 4255 Rs, Gift 7850 Rs. Total 30,708 Rs (Akshar mein: tees hazaar saat sau aath rupye maatra).
Kripya yeh rupye mujhe sheeghra bhejne ki kripa karna, taaki main apni Sheeno ke pyaar mein inn rupyon ko kurbaan kar sakoon. Aur haan, yadi tumhare paas mere dwara diye gaye gift pade ho, to unhe main aadhi keemat par khareedne ko taiyaar hoon. Tum unka hisaab banaakar meri mool rakam mein se kaatkar puraane gifts ko bhi bhej dena. Iss patra ke saath tumhare poore char kilo teen sau gram wazan ke prem patron ka pulinda bhi sanlagna hai, taaki tumhe bhi prem patra likhne mein phir se pareshaani na uthaani padhe. Tumhari woh sundar photo bhi main bhej rahaa hoon, jo tum apne naye premi jhandamal ko de sakti ho. Tum apna hisaab bhi bataa dena. Waise tumhara kharch to kuchh bhi nahin aaya hoga. Tum hamesha apna purse bhool jaati thi. Kambakht pyaar mein ladko ki hi jeb dheeli hoti hai. Khair beete prem par kaisa afsos, jab nayaa bhi padhaar chuka hai? Asha hai, tum mera hisaab jaldi se jaldi saaf karke mujhe naye pyaar mein koodne mein madad dogi. Tumhe saatvaan (7th) prem mubaarak ho, tumhara chhatha (6th) poorva (ex) premi (lover) Moti.
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