Overt, Covert, All Around Misogyny

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jyoti

@Jyotimena

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 7 years ago

#11

Sexism, both blatant and benevolent exists in the society.

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 7 years ago

#12

I love the thoughts & post here on this topic.

I think when we talk about feminism, we need to talk about equality because that's what feminism claims to fight for at the end of the day. And equality has to be talked from both the sides.

So, I have another side to the same issue.

1. My own very aunt used to beat up her husband because he wanted to stay at home for certain things. She treated her own father very badly until he went mentally unstable. The situation got so worse over time that my uncle's sisters had to call up my father to sort this issue out. Mind you that woman was a mother of 2 daughters herself & one among the 5 sisters in the house. My father is the only son in his family.

2. My cousin brother's wife immediately after his death demanded extra property despite having her hefty share from her husband. She also demanded to be married to the younger brother of the dead husband after few days of death, who was already committed to someone else. When guy's family didn't agree to it, she filed a false case against 3 of the male members of the family on the charges of harassing her post husband's death. She had a 2 month child & family provided with everything they could so that she could sustain & be independent in the future. Her in-laws supported her to core. Still she created havoc. For the false case, 3 people went to jail, fought a case of which they were acquitted, yet the lady was not brought under law for putting false charges.

3. Every female in my family has a right to blatantly point out to the men whenever not dressed properly. They make sure that they are not pointed out at again.

4. My father is often pointed out at the way he drives & he listens patiently.

5. Woman around me always have the opportunity to lash out at their partners whenever they are upset but the man, no matter how stressed never do that & whenever they tries to do it calmly, they are questioned for not being capable enough to deal with their issues & have ego issues & they go silent. Same thing told to woman, they cry, while man are supposed to deal with it in silence. Sympathy at time goes with woman than man who might need it in real.

6. My father always shares smallest of things with all of us in the family in the hope that he would be understood. He listens to each one of us patiently to understand. While we aren't able to do what he expects of us, he does exactly what we expect of him that is understand us calmly & patiently. And it is the same way around in most of the families around me.

7. My cousin brother got married recently at the age of 22, because everyone around him wanted to be married to a girl of their choice, something to which he eventually agreed, even though he wanted to have some more time.

8. Never in my life I have been told that I would be having a new family but my brothers are often teased with the words "You will be belonging to your wife after being married.". something that hurts them to the core.

9. One of the vows of my sister-in-law in her wedding was "I will always fight with you". While everyone laughed & praised her at this, same words from my brother would have been condemned.

10. When my uncle says that I am doing things for my family, he is told "No one asked you to do it anyway" & he goes mum & laugh to let go of the topic. Same thing said to my aunt, she would be sympathized with by everyone & uncle would be preached.

11. When women are told to take certain decisions of the house, they retaliate with "This is what man should be doing". When man told the same thing, they have to ponder over this fact, even if they might not want to.

And there are countless instances of the same. I agree with the misogynist attitude of the society but at the same time I see lot of reverse misogyny around myself.

Feminism at its core has been twisted in ways.

I don't completely agree with the idea that man are given all powerful status in the society. Because I see a very different picture around in about 100 families where man are silent spectators of what is happening & dare they say, they will be bombarded with every single argument until they go mum.

They are stereotyped as well in so many ways we don't see around. Traditional biases & prejudices have limited both men & women in almost similar ways while each one of them gets to lent that out in different ways. Emotional man is frowned upon, ambitious woman is frowned upon, while it's fine if they exchange these 2 traits. It has ruined the preliminary understanding of genders. Sex is something we can't fight, while gender roles is something that can be talked about & it's time we talk about genders & every preconceived notion that has been associated with it for centuries.

And it is time that we let people come out & share their emotions be it man or woman & ensure that none of the is judged or pointed out for doing that.

P.S- I am not a feminist but I stand for equality. And equality can't be talked about unless we take both the genders into consideration with equal emphasis on each. I have seen the cases where women are victim & I stand out for them very harshly but there are times when me being female get into biases against man on certain matters which I feel is wrong on so many levels.

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: arshi_asya

P.S- I am not a feminist but I stand for equality. And equality can't be talked about unless we take both the genders into consideration with equal emphasis on each. I have seen the cases where women are victim & I stand out for them very harshly but there are times when me being female get into biases against man on certain matters which I feel is wrong on so many levels.

Hello. 😳

I haven't read your whole post, but this part caught my eye. Feminism by definition means gender equality, so if you stand for equality, you are automatically a feminist.

A gendered world is the problem of feminists wherein there is subjugation of women. Of course, men suffer too. And they suffer because gender roles are oppressive for both the sexes. A woman is essentially denied her right to be tough if that's what she wants to be. And a man is denied his right to be gentle.

Isn't that the whole problem? But on balance, women face a lot more social, sexual, marital, economic and educational problems than most men. Not all, of course, but most.

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: SummerRain7
Great topic! I think every woman here will have tonnes of stories about these seemingly inconsequential biases they have faced through out their lives. It may seen inconsequntial but it exposes deeply ingrained biases that we have internalised to such an extent that we rarely notice them. I would love to share an example from my own life.

I learned to drive a car at a very young age and I have been driving for more than 10yrs now. To this very day, everytime I give a ride to a family member or a friend/acquaintance who sees me drive for the first time, I am told that I drive pretty well. I used to enjoy this compliment in my younger days. Then I started noticing, that they don't bother saying this to my brothers or male cousines of my age who also happen to drive well. And that's when I relaized that people have this deep rooted belief that a woman being able to drive well is a rarity. I no longer enjoy this compliment because now it sounds like "For a woman, you do drive pretty well!" Needless to say, on the road there are tonnes of stranger men always ready to guide me, even though I dont need it.

Haha. 😆

I can imagine that. I was lousy as a driving student for the 13 days that I took the rudimentary driving course. Now, I seemed like a rash, absent-minded driver to myself. So, I didn't pursue my driving goals. I don't think that is because I'm a woman, I may just be a bad driver. Period.

Or not. I'll try again. 😳😆

PS YOU KEEP DRIVING MAN, TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM OR WHATEVER. 😆

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Kankshita

@thegameison

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: Ianoconic.
AMAZINGLY written. I don't think I have to say how important and needed this topic was. Its high time women should be treated equally. Being a non-feminist (I don't believe women are superior than men or vice versa) I believe when we claim for equality we should fight for it only. The article said all and lot more than all that was needed.
Take a bow writers.
PS- In love with the graphics❤️

Feminists don't think that they're better than men. 😳

Radical feminism is just one branch of feminism.

@Bold: Thank you!