Oo. The One With The 13th: Happy Birthday India-Forums .oO

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Crazy Creatives

@CrazyCreatives

Coolbie

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, you are watching Barely Surviving with Arnub Goswamibecause seriously Who the bloody woke me up at 6am to do this show? The sticks of my specks are waiting to draw blood after I have my shot of jalzeera on the rocks.

Coming to the less worthy part of today's morning is this interview I'm conducting as you can see and have brains enough to understand it. Which I'm sure is not the case or why would you be listening to me.

Anyways this being an affirmative show I'd like to introduce you to today's need who gives people salvation, inspiration to be creative and a platform to interact and interchange ideas. The who is growing by leaps and bounds yes that's me. From 5'8 to 5'8.0001 the progress is glorious.

And apart from my might, today's Bakra is in the studio, who has come off age and now you have lost the chance to ask the important questions because hitting teenage today is that one kid who has all the plot holes, actual contracts and the name of the sari wala who supplies kokila modi hers, yes dear not-so-awesome-as-I-am peopleplease welcome,

India Forums, secretly known as gareebon ka Facebook.

Disclaimer: The following interview has been conducted under the influence of the Judai from the 1000 ke notes and hence the words are jaundiced.

Regards,

Edited by CrazyCreatives - 8 years ago

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Frequent Posters

Crazy Creatives

@CrazyCreatives

Coolbie

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

AG: IF welcome to my show.

IF: Thank you. That sign above is cheap and the entendre is obvious. I'm turning thirteen not reviewing FSD ka trailer.

And you do look filthy as tv show ke hero ka role. I thought it was just thefinancial depression that you shot with a Nokia 6600 phone camera.

AG: The nation has rights over you, you plagiarised it's name in your origami wala logo. Wait, how do you know mere paas kaun aa phone hai?

IF: You talk too loudly in your brain, no wonder your role is gonna be chopped off.

AG: What do you mean by this. This is my show! Let me tell you that I was the one from whom Ever Ready took 500 crore ka chutta!!! if I was not sitting on my pizza to heat it I would have pulled at your doh Choti.

IF: I'm gonna hack your tinder and spread the word that you are STILL a belieber.

AG: NOOO

IF: Be nice then. I have learnt from the best. Thirteen years with Phekta to Ghun and you can destroy anyone's career.

AG: Uh huh, erm, OK so beta IF, tell me, it has been t-h-i-r-t-e-e-n years of India-Forums : the undiminished legacy of virtual bakwaas. Starting off as a small blog for the evergreen show,

Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahi, but there was ugly Betty,

India-Forums has grown to become a popular entertainment portal, connecting diverse backgrounds from all over the world who all are, I'd like to tell the audience, in reality actually tide by one God,

TROLL.

IF: Yay, I converted too. It was shock to the family but tumblr and I had to find our own ways.

AG: You definitely found your way. From posting soap spoilers taken from dainik jagran to catching tv celebrities in loo break for an interview, the way is impeccable. But the revamp of your look and the vast growth of your followers, it has been an inexplicably long journey! Any longer and you'd be fossil.

Don't you think people are just tahalaaying you and tumblr IS the real deal?

IF: If you think insulting me is gonna get you viewers you may not know that my followers made a show go AWOL aur ek baar phir se kar sakte hain.

AG: Sorry beta, sorry. It's the flowing in the feelings thing. I'm not a morning person you see.

So yes, right from the Crazy Creatives who run IF to Bolly Curry Buzzers who run away from it, from the Global Moderators who may go on a not-going-to-close-a-thread strike, to the Viewbies unseen and the channel Moderators unwanted, also lets not forget the what!?-how-come-they-had-so-much-time-net-source-GOD!-where-did-they-go Videobies,

everyone is highly passionate about this Virtual Home, the Serial Analyzer and the Experience Enhancer a.k.a. you, India-Forums.

IF: My pitaji will here about the hidden in the dashes insults.

AG: Your daddy ke vijayrath ke tyres ki hawa nikal di you tube ne betaji. Ab batao.

IF: Mere paas maa hai.

AG: Maa?

IF: Cinema aka Bollywood forum of IF.

AG: Err, see beta undoubtedly, we have a truck full of memories associated with you wonderful little portal of magic somewhere here but there are certain issues even bigger than finding out why sonam Gupta turned bewafaa, which require immediate attention.

IF: Something more important than that?!!!!

AG: Yes, I am talking about some mind boggling questions (which obviously cannot be posted on the Suggestions & Comments Forum) regarding IF & your obnoxious ways of dealing with people.

IF: I don't do that. I'm just not very fond ofhuman contact.

AG: You earn when these humans come in CONTACT with your URL.

IF: That's coz baby I'm addictive.

AG: Hahahahaha, na beta na, ab aaya hai uth pahad ke neeche! Fun, ain't it? Dekhna yeh hai ki members ko milte hain jawaab yaa IF ko milti hain maat!

For the first time ever in the history ofVirtual Entertainment, here's introducing the famous Questionnaire Special with The Kostin Therapist aka ME in Barely Surviving with Admin GO Swamiii!😃

Edited by CrazyCreatives - 8 years ago

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Crazy Creatives

@CrazyCreatives

Coolbie

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

AG: So IF it's 2016, a whole of t-h-i-r-t-e-e-n years since a small blog made its way into the Virtual world. In this warzone of fake character sketches and Photoshopped profile pics, slowly yet steadily, you established your place on the electronic highway. Unfortunately you haven't been run over but who wants to make dharti maa happy nowadays.

IF, you are famous for your silver screen updates, you collaborated with Gold Awards in the past. Which was not even of the scale of Razzies. But for fanbots, you are The Lord Of The Serial Ring, The Portal King, INDIA-FORUMS! How do you feel?

IF: Maata rani ka paap lagega tere ko.

AG: Radhe maa ka ashirwaad hai mere pe. and thus, on this "special" occasion of IF's 13th Birthday, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to ask IF those

13 questions

jinke baad Big Boss bhi kisi ko muh dikhaane ke layak nahi rahega.

IF: Look I know you're jealous of my achievements so that tickr above isn't making me nervous *😲😭*

AG : We'll see🤪...It's a 13 for you! What's the plan for today? What are you going to do for your 13thBirthday apart from updating chaska meters and ranking thermometers?

IF: Don't underestimate my chaska meters, Arnab. That's for me to know and for you to find out. To be honest, nothing special. I'll just ignore some analogs and stalk the secret forums and improve the "Hall of Fame" to show how much popular I am in the world of technology.

AG: Yup you are the one used in "exception list." But the issue here is the method of your chaskas. One can abuse the chaska Meter and then push the rank up of their devta samaan kalakaar with MIDs. Have a say?

IF: Freedom Of Keyboard. Plus my forum my rules.

AG: So you think you've control over your members because you block them for their satya vachans? Why don't you pull a similar stunt like PM Modi ji and bring back members whose accounts are blocked? They'll add more keyboards in your honor. When petrol pumps and hospitals can accept old notes, why can't you accept these purane beechde huye sadasyas?

IF: Sorry, but mein baasi hui cheezon ko dobara moonh ni lagata. I only focus on new comers and active members.*hmph* Why accept something old when we can earn something new? It is my right as the creator. They can create a new free account here, if they want. 60-70% of those puranemembers are already active with 2-3 more MIDs. They ARE serving me and you are unaware of it.

AG: Or planning a revolution under the alias of sachcha bhakt. Which brings me the most popular and annoying complaint by the IF Folks. Why do newbies & groupbies have to get post limit? Do you enjoy being bossy to new people?

IF: Who doesn't?! That's why under the username, "Moderator" mein hu DON! Do I even need to mention that? You think I'll let go of the innocent little sacrificial lambs? And of course. It's theiragni pariksha. Jo pass hue they get a free membership card to Hell. And that's how they become those (in)famous old members who give me hell and yet me being the BETTER person, I take them back.

AG: Hence, you're bound to face your oldies again, when their MIDs will be burn your banners. But do tell amongst all the Google translated English, why is the last group in the ladder group called "IF-Achieverz"? What do you think theyachieved by spamming you to their hearts content & gaining that neon coloured tag?

IF: Successfully proven how velle they have been! *feeling proud.* Those are some special folks who've spammed beyond expectations. 👏

AG: Where is the proof of their comments IF? Maybe it's just mindless spamming! And what's the relevance?

IF: You are not letting me finish! Do you know how much hard work one needs to comment(achieverz no. Of posts) posts??? thehours, net connection, damage to fingers?? They are a heroon their own!! They deserve a color which represent their dangerous tenacity for putting up with the spamming error and AdBlock!

AG: I'm the boss here phattu, so tell me why the ever annoying system ofspamming errors as you kind of love the black sheep of your forum?

IF: I'm very much into social service you see. So, I have invented ways of sending these forum-ians back to their homeworks, aag lagana and khana pakana, or whatever is important for them to do in real life. To students, that's my way of saying: bohot kar liya time pass. Now, go and do abhyaas.

AG: Hehehehehe, says the one who keeps the karta dharta of this forumunpaid. What pushed you to add the adblock though?

IF: Mera paisa, meri jeb, I'm the king baaki fake.

And because I felt spamming error messages were so old

why not attempt something refreshing and bold? I'm very much into show-offs too. I make it a point to let every member know that I'msmarter than them,

whenever the opportunity arises, which is often!

PS: We need more sponsors.

AG: 😕...Despicable rap. Donald Trumps speeches seem like lullabies. Truth is Mr. IF you are a sleaze ball and those ads seem to pop out like an awkward suhaag raat of a TV show!!!

IF: You know much about the look of the ads?

AG: Err, OK that gets edited out.

My dear IF, the system of websites is getting outdated in this decade. Have you ever thought about a phone app for this horribly wonderfulwebsite ever? The "technically sound" mobile interface right now can put social network to shame.

IF: Mera shraaap lagega tere ko dekh lena. As for the app, Yeah! Of course! Thinking doesn't cost anything you see.

AG: And you don't pay anyone as it is.

IF: 😡...When members will fully adjustthemselves to the Mobile Version, I'll find a new way to harass them, err, I'll introduce the app.

AG: That is so lame IF, even Gopi will understand the plot and not only that, there have been certain issues based on the templates. Why did you make a red stars background similar to Superman's chaddi?

IF: Tu bada authentic ho raha hai! Oh hello,Superman ki chaddi par koi red stars nahi lage hue. And I know I checked very carefully.

AG: How carefully exactly?

IF: NO! I didn't mean, I mean I didn't look at his - you know, no, no, I would never do that.

AG: Do you swing in 360?

IF: No I don't swing in any degree. Never do this, I don't condone this. Chaddi ko dekhne bohot buri baat hai. Mujhe dekho mein kaha pehen tha hoon. I mean I do but--OK truth is Superman offered me his chaddi for free publicity. I couldnt reject it. I have it on my background since forever.

Edited by CrazyCreatives - 8 years ago

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Crazy Creatives

@CrazyCreatives

Coolbie

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

AG: Well well! So that is what you do when in dire situations members are left alone, prancing with fashion faux passes. Chaddi ki dukaan lagana tu.

IF: And there's no shame in it. I could be the next Calvin Klein.

AG: 🤔Lets move to the mostinteresting set of questions.

IF: What in the name of TRPs is that?

AG: Well you are omni invisible, something mixing Mr. India's genes with a parayi mahilawill produce.

IF: Then what is batman syndrome? Accept therich part I got nothing on him.

AG: Well you have spending the riches on your gadgets and destroying the infrastructure going too. Plus you have abandonment issues.

IF: I what?!

AG: You ban members not letting them deletetheir accounts. You delay changes and forget to do them at all. A-B-A-N-D-O-N-M-E-N-T

IF: You are🤢

AG: Ok where do you see yourself in 10 years? Designing chaddis or crying your heart out about the abuse you endure daily in the hands of the (in)famous Report button? Or at last taking charge and being there where you are needed?

IF: I would love to see myself sipping myfavourite karele ka joos in shantiniketanbut I have a feeling I will have to cry my heart out about the abuse my members impart upon me by licking the Report Button day in day out as if it's their mostfavourite popsicle!

AG: Kya... kaun hai ye yaar!!!

IF: Or I'll be a super power. I think that's thehighest possibility.

AG: Akele susu karne toh jaata nahi hai tu, super pakau is what you are and will be.

IF: You doggie ki potty, I curse tere Twitter followers minus mein hojaaye.

AG: LOL I AM twitter. Talking of superpowers, your advice to the ever popular, sab ki maiyya - Ekta Maiyya on Show Making because let's be honest koi divya shakti hi usse to sakti hai and you being omni invisible can impart tips.

IF: Twitter is me like Moderator is ME. And Ekta should continue making them and send copies to all the police stations located all across the globe. Instead of violence, the officers can show suspects/criminals these videos for instant confessions. After all after seeing such high quality material, who can possibly keep their mouths shut?

AG: Achcha beta bade uch vichaar. So tell me what are your views on saas bahu sagas that have been running on for years with pointless tracks?

IF: Keep them going! I love active forums. Isse mera hi phaida hai. I'm just wondering howpointless it is for you people to watch it and yet, ask me such a question.

AG: We don't abandon easily.

IF: We don abandon easilyyyuuh uh huh!!!! Saas-bahu ki yeh amar prem kahani chalti rahegi jab tak hai jaan then. As long as the not-so-jobholicswill continue watching them, they'll go on and on. Just like they follow me.

AG: Mr. IF are you on something?

IF: Yup. Seat. I'm on a seat.

AG: 🤢

AG: What do you think is the reason for so many velle people present here? Are they your synonyms or there's a conspiracy theory and are the two faced camouflage to your coveted dirty work?

IF: Well, what do you think is the reason of these same velle people sticking to shows like Sasural Simar Ka & Kumkum Bhagya, for maybe ages?Unemployment rate is increasing.

AG: ...

IF: Still didn't get it?

AG: That they are unemployed and you are the saviour God promised...?

IF: NO. I mean the saviour part yes. OK, they are under my imperious curse.

AG: Cut the crap IF. If you'll meet them in person they'll perform a killing curse before you say daily soap. What you need to answer is why you didn't come up with an idea to PayTM karo for CCs/BCs/DTs for their hard work? It's the 13th year, t-h-i-r-t-e-e-n! The nation wants to know!

IF: Well...

AG: I get you want a well to deown your sorry self but answer the question first because you are being bestowed a privilege that im letting you speak, so speak!!!!!!!!!

IF: Do you want me to pay people for entertaining themselves? I'm sure they have a gala time bossing over innocent souls like me. When I haven't paid myself a single penny, why should I pay them? Not happening! Arre, jab mujhe pocket money ni milti toh mein inn namune ko kaise doongi. *coughs* I-I mean, tell them to go take it up with HR. Jab time milega tab dekh loongi. Abhi bohot kaam hai. How will I pay my taxes then? 🤔

Also, electricity bills are high.

AG:🤔 ☢️

So far in my life I haven't met a more kalmuha, kaamchor, narpeeshach who is even lower in dignity than the revived suits worn by TV show ke heroes.

IF: Mutual feelings sir.

AG: Sarr phaad doon tera?

IF: Current 440 volt ka chahiye toh aa naa phaad.😳

AG: Well without further extenuation I'd like to bring this wahiyaat chat to an end. It's IF's thirteenth birthday and as far as omens go I hope the very ill for you India Forums.

IF: And as far as omens go I am here with you on my THIRTEENTH at this moment. Wonder what could happen.😃

AG: He he he, joking beta joke maara tha. Ladies and gentlemen please join me in wishing IF the birthday that will redefine and regenerate the forum...maybe.