My Question to Janta. - Page 7

Originally posted by: fria319

If you want an answer based on what I've seen IRL:

It just depends on an individual's threshold and whether the love they have for their spouse outweighs the hurt he/she caused them.

Stories are based on reality. It should give people the idea of tackling such situations. No body should be taught to forgive those who cheat.

They should not give people the idea of forgiving a man who commits infidelity in marriage.

Originally posted by: AvantikaP

Show him the middle finger and move on.

Okay. This is 😎

Originally posted by: -abz-

Stories are based on reality. It should give people the idea of tackling such situations. No body should be taught to forgive those who cheat.

They should not give people the idea of forgiving a man who commits infidelity in marriage.

But some couples can move past infidelity. For some people, that is the better solution. This solution is also reality. That's how a lot of couples tackle these kinds of situations. It just takes a lot of hard work. And it's not easy at all, it requires a lot of commitment, a lot of making up by the spouse who was in the wrong, etc. But people do it all the time. If the love is worth it - and that's up to the individual who was hurt to decide - then it may be worth salvaging the relationship.

It's very easy to end a marriage. It's not easy to stick through the issues and the hurt and come out stronger. And even then, some people don't. They put in the work and they can't get over what happened - that's fine too. My point is just that not everyone can so easily let go of their spouse because they made a mistake.

There's no one solution to the issue. In Anupama - she left her husband and that was the right decision for her. That doesn't necessarily mean that's the right decision for Pallavi. Or it could be, we don't know.

Originally posted by: -abz-

@bold- You don't need a closure for forced marriage. But you need a closure to start a relationship consensually with the person your married to. These are two different things.

If he was not over, he should have been vocal cause it just doesn't involve him. It involves Pallavi too, just as how many of them couldn't accept Pallavi helping Mandaar despite Raghav's knowledge. Pallavi was clearly over him but Raghav's insecurities were too high even after knowing that Pallavi was in love with Raghav. Here you are saying that Raghav isn't over Esha. So what right does he have to expect anything from Pallavi at this point?

It's not revenge saga. But self respect is much more important than the relationship. Pallavi chose to love a person who wasn't over his ex. It's unacceptable.

Everything about Esha and her betrayal could have been applicable only if Raghav and Pallavi didn't start their relationship. I would call Pallavi a warm hearted person for even accepting Raghav's past after months of their happy marriage. He hid it from her and it's unfair.

Raghav couldn't accept Keerthi's marriage and got mad at Pallavi, he made her run behind him. Here, he has done such a huge thing. He crushed down his promise to her and destroyed it with his own hands. Expecting Pallavi to forgive is like asking her to jump down from the cliff.

I'm just talking about what I'm seeing happening, not whether it's right or wrong. That's a whole other debate.

As for Pallavi's forgiveness, as I've said in many threads already, only she can decide her next steps. She may leave him, cold shoulder him, forgive him, etc. Her call totally. I'm fine with whatever. I just want her to be happy.

Originally posted by: -abz-

Stories are based on reality. It should give people the idea of tackling such situations. No body should be taught to forgive those who cheat.

They should not give people the idea of forgiving a man who commits infidelity in marriage.

If we talk about reality, she should have walked away soon after the wedding and not give him any chances.

Originally posted by: fria319

But some couples can move past infidelity. For some people, that is the better solution. This solution is also reality. That's how a lot of couples tackle these kinds of situations. It just takes a lot of hard work. And it's not easy at all, it requires a lot of commitment, a lot of making up by the spouse who was in the wrong, etc. But people do it all the time. If the love is worth it - and that's up to the individual who was hurt to decide - then it may be worth salvaging the relationship.

It's very easy to end a marriage. It's not easy to stick through the issues and the hurt and come out stronger. And even then, some people don't. They put in the work and they can't get over what happened - that's fine too. My point is just that not everyone can so easily let go of their spouse because they made a mistake.

There's no one solution to the issue. In Anupama - she left her husband and that was the right decision for her. That doesn't necessarily mean that's the right decision for Pallavi. Or it could be, we don't know.

💯

Very well said.

In all this, my main concern is that it should be Pallavi's decision without external interference or pressure.

Originally posted by: inlieu

This is why it's important not to compare leads with other shows. 😆

Jokes apart, about the emotional infidelity, my view is that it has become a buzz word of late in the forum and on social media where some people are using it the right relationshiprs are not. (not pointing at you here, dear, just my observation). There is a huge number of people who do not believe he is guilty of emotional infidelity while there are many who believe he is. Emotions are also a matter of perspective, hence the diverse opinions on this topic. Also, while it's easy for some of us to say she should walk away, the fact is that many spouses forgive their partners for cheating on them or for ending up in a situation like Raghav's. We may agree or not but each person has their own threshold of tolerance. If indeed Raghav was taken advantage of or if nothing happened between them and Pallavi finds out, then she may forgive him on the show but also in real life many would forgive. So far Raghav has been saying that it was unintentional and he never meant to cheat Pallavi (implying also that he didn't mean to lead Esha on).

The way it appears to me at this point, he never got closure from his past so he is unable to rip off the band-aid where Esha is concerned. It's easier said that done because there are two levels of guilt here: one is knowing that she sacrificed her life's happiness to save his life and entered an abusive marriage, aka hell, which she is still suffering for. Esha's betrayal finally made Raghav into the person we saw in episode 1, it formed his identity and sense of self and confidence. He made her betrayal the foundation of his success and mirrored her ruthlessness in his life and actions. Now that he discovers that the premise of that entire foundation was false, he is questioning everything about himself. He is no longer on sure footing and no longer knows who The Raghav Rao is meant to be at this point, without that foundation. The other level of guilt is because he believes has done the very thing he hates - cheating - with the very person who made him hate cheaters, that too with a person who hasn't given him a reason not to trust her so far. The irony of it all.

As for revenge... ugh... I don't know why people think along those lines. This isn't a revenge saga, or if it was, it only lasted one day after they got married. Here it's about characters eventually facing the people they wronged, but most importantly facing their own selves and dealing with the repercussions of their actions/decisions.

In all this I'd say one thing, the audience sees the 360 and we often forget that the characters do not, so they don't have the context that we do and act in isolation of other characters' motives. We saw Esha try to take advantage of his state, but Raghav doesn't know this. He woke up next morning and saw the state and immediately concluded that they did it consensually. Esha has been totally silent about the minute but important details and even Raghav doesn't see that part of it. Pallavi is finding Raghav's behavior strange these days. She knows he's worried and distracted but can't figure out why but she's sure something is really wrong. Raghav is unable to look her in the eye and is failing to read all the signs she's showing of her frantic state of mind and how her self-esteem is taking a hit (until the ALD sequence).

There is one huge lesson to be learned here. While it's inevitable that someone can have a profound positive or negative in your life that may shape who you become, it is ultimately your choice to decide what kind of person you want to become. Esha betrayed Raghav because of money and he became obsessed with it. He wanted to become the man who could be in a position of power and have enough wealth to remove any obstacles in life. He wanted to be the kind of man who would have been worthy of Esha and her father. He could have chosen to rise above it and earn money for a comfortable life without becoming ruthless and cynical. I'm not saying that one option is right and the other is wrong, just that he has a choice. You should never let another person dictate or overly influence how you become, no matter how difficult the circumstances are and in this also I feel Jaya's failed parenting was a huge contributor. I don't think she built Raghav up to be strong enough in life to hold steady against this sort of turbulence. We see that even today.

Raghav chose to be what he is today. He chose to use that hurt to drive him towards success. Ge got a closure that night but isn't that closure supposed to make him move on. Rather he sat there, with her, breaking promises over promises. Initially wordy promise of never drinking again, then a promise of loyalty in wedding so yes he chose that too.

People make choices and the result is what explains if they were right or wrong. I won't go into depth of Amma's failed parenting cause yes it was. I sometimes try to understand if Pallavi hadn't been the bridge between this mother son duo, they wouldn't have been having the moments that they have now because duh it's obvious that they both are pretty egoistic in their own terms.

Of course Pallavi does not have a cctv camera neither a mic installed around Raghav at all times. Hence, all she has is her gut feeling, the amount of understanding that she has of Raghav's body language and her insticts that tells her that her husband is worried, stressed or acting wierd.

Emotional infidelity in simple words is defined as, “relationships that break the boundaries of marriage or other monogamous love relationships but that don't become, or at least initially are not, sexual.” But partners must determine for themselves what it means to break a boundary in their relationship.

Raghav has constantly been having thoughts about Esha before the closure and also after. Instead of focusing on how to tell the truth to his wife and come clean to her, we're watching him running around trying to save Esha, pull out security for her, find a house.

Just few hours, he just needs a few hours out of his Esha world to sit and have a chat with his wife. Fine if he's fearing the hurt he won't confess the truth but at least not let her feel humiliated or worthless. He can at least assure her that the stress or pull off is not because she's not good enough. A sense of security for God's sake.

I will just leave him. And will tell him to be with his ex happily. Jao khush raho uske sath aur mera peecha chod do.

Apni life se durr fek dungi, my self respect is greater than anything. I will have much better and happy life.

Originally posted by: unicornwriter

Raghav chose to be what he is today. He chose to use that hurt to drive him towards success. Ge got a closure that night but isn't that closure supposed to make him move on. Rather he sat there, with her, breaking promises over promises. Initially wordy promise of never drinking again, then a promise of loyalty in wedding so yes he chose that too.

People make choices and the result is what explains if they were right or wrong. I won't go into depth of Amma's failed parenting cause yes it was. I sometimes try to understand if Pallavi hadn't been the bridge between this mother son duo, they wouldn't have been having the moments that they have now because duh it's obvious that they both are pretty egoistic in their own terms.

Of course Pallavi does not have a cctv camera neither a mic installed around Raghav at all times. Hence, all she has is her gut feeling, the amount of understanding that she has of Raghav's body language and her insticts that tells her that her husband is worried, stressed or acting wierd.

Emotional infidelity in simple words is defined as, “relationships that break the boundaries of marriage or other monogamous love relationships but that don't become, or at least initially are not, sexual.” But partners must determine for themselves what it means to break a boundary in their relationship.

Raghav has constantly been having thoughts about Esha before the closure and also after. Instead of focusing on how to tell the truth to his wife and come clean to her, we're watching him running around trying to save Esha, pull out security for her, find a house.

Just few hours, he just needs a few hours out of his Esha world to sit and have a chat with his wife. Fine if he's fearing the hurt he won't confess the truth but at least not let her feel humiliated or worthless. He can at least assure her that the stress or pull off is not because she's not good enough. A sense of security for God's sake.

Beautiful post…especially the blue part…he is still living in his Esha world reasons why he is not realizing the trauma he will cause his wife, with his behavior, which she doesn’t deserve…not a bit…

Originally posted by: fria319

But some couples can move past infidelity. For some people, that is the better solution. This solution is also reality. That's how a lot of couples tackle these kinds of situations. It just takes a lot of hard work. And it's not easy at all, it requires a lot of commitment, a lot of making up by the spouse who was in the wrong, etc. But people do it all the time. If the love is worth it - and that's up to the individual who was hurt to decide - then it may be worth salvaging the relationship.

It's very easy to end a marriage. It's not easy to stick through the issues and the hurt and come out stronger. And even then, some people don't. They put in the work and they can't get over what happened - that's fine too. My point is just that not everyone can so easily let go of their spouse because they made a mistake.

There's no one solution to the issue. In Anupama - she left her husband and that was the right decision for her. That doesn't necessarily mean that's the right decision for Pallavi. Or it could be, we don't know.

Couples can move past infidelity, true , but that process is long and painful. Like you mentioned requires lots of hard work, commitment and communication .

Do makers have time to show all that in same detail they have shown EsGhu ? Do makers have expertise to handle such sensitive issues and time to show the coping up process ?

No . They will simply make her forgive him after lousy apology in 2-3 episodes , which is not at all realistic tbh.

That’s why separation, even if temporary is need of hour. That’s easy way in ITV world to see Raghu and, especially Pals thinking about their relationship and personally what she feels and want .

More than this , I feel it’s quite shallow how people and makers (via Raghav) are mainly focused on physical infidelity part and not on his behaviour with Pallavi , more than night in warangal, I want P to take a break and leave him for way Raghav continuously gaslights , disrespects and lies to P.

He is only feeling guilty about night he spent with Esha but does he even realise how harsh he is behaving with P? Will he atone for that ? Or it will be swept under the carpet ?

Like usual with MHRW policy of ,

Multiple mistakes , one sorry ,

& then Raghvi kya karte hai 2.0 ?

Since makers have shown P break to point where she questions why she is undesirable to R, I’d like them to address it and re-build her confidence , with or without RR.