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Vidya Shetty

@vidya0906

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#241

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm dry house, pet me and take good care of me… They must be Gods.

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love, provide me with a nice warm dry house, pet me and take good care of me… I must be God.... 😆

a one-liner: Are your legs tired? You've been running in my mind all day😆

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Vidya Shetty

@vidya0906

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#242

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."😆

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"😆

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!" 😆

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woke him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. 😆

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. 😆

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*Resham*

@*Resham*

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 16 years ago

#243

This ws really too good Vids...😆

Quote

Vidya Shetty

@vidya0906

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#244

Santa's Curtains

Santa enters a store that sell curtains.

He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."

The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.

Santa replies, "Fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"

Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"

Santa says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!" 😆

My Friend Circle

Santa came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Jeeto, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.

"Was it my friend Banta", he demanded.

"No !" his weeping wife replied.

"Was it my friend Ramta then?" he asked.

"No !!!" she said even more upset.

"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.

"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" Jeeto snapped. 😆

Deep Mines

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.

The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.

The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?

Banta says, "Oh, about 8 to 10 feet."

The boss says, "Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you're no miner!"

On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.

The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?

Santa says, "Oh sure."

The boss asks how deep underground he worked.

Santa says, "I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground."

The boss says, "20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, "What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground?"

Santa says, "Oh, I didn't need a light, I worked on the day shift!" 😆