Panchaali, and the Men That Mattered (Update: Page 4 & 6) - Page 3

Yudhisthir

My four husbands Bheem, Arjun, Nakul and Sahadev and I awaited some news about him. Would he make it? Would he falter at the very end?

Around me, I could see the Apsaras being all giggly, trying their best to get noticed by my husbands. Were they still my husbands in the first place? Didn't all earthly bonds between humans break when..?' I heard more giggles and I wanted to laugh. My husband's on the other hand had their eyes only for me. They had formed a circle around me. I would have been embarrassed had they been standing way too close to me, but I guess they knew that and gave me enough space, not making me feel awkward. If you wonder why they are standing like that, it's because they have seen the Gandharva's around here, trying to flatter me, and right now, all four of them are incredibly jealous. Again, I bit back laughter.

Oh, I forgot to mention why we are surrounded by Gandharvas and Apsaras in the first place. Well, our journey has ended, our journey of life, that is. One by one, we had fallen and met our fate on that mountain which we were climbing up. 36 Years after ruling Hastinapur, the kingdom was handed over to Abhimanyu and Uttara's son, Parikshit, and my husbands and I started our final journey. So here we are, in the heavens. While all five of us had fallen on our way up that mountain, my eldest husband Yudhisthir had continued walking.

"Father Indra says Jyesht Bhrata Yudhisthir wants to meet us" Arjun informed us. I hadn't noticed him talk to a messenger of Indra some time back. Like an excited bunch of kids, we walked where he was supposed to be waiting. I of course ignored the fact that the four of them still surrounded me as we walked. Somewhere, I was really hoping he had done it, that he had been the first human to enter heaven, alive. So when we saw him there, in all flesh and blood, I wanted to break out into a dance, but of course, I had to act all lady-like and casual.

We were sitting in a circle one chamber. Turn by turn, all my other four husbands would ask him questions, and he would patiently answer. We all knew achieving this was no easy feat, but then Yudhisthir was known as Dharmraj for a reason. He was generally very patient, unless someone would get onto his nerves, which itself was so impossible that whoever did deserved an award for it. Going by that, I would have many awards by now. And about him, that man never lied, which of course annoyed the hell out of me at times. Well, most of the times.

It was my turn to ask him a question. I had it ready in my mind and was just waiting for my turn. "What did you tell God Indra when you finally reached the gates of heaven?"

He seemed to be a tad bit embarrassed by my question. I could see a blush creeping up his cheeks, and he looked away from me.' Why would he be embarrassed?' I wondered.

"Well, God Indra asked me how I felt to be the first human to enter heaven alive. I .. Uhm.. I said that somehow, my family not being with me at that moment took away the joy of it all. So I told him that I wanted to meet my brothers and my Panchaali."

If he hadn't said the words "My Panchaali" with as much impact as he did, I would have missed them because I was not used to flattery from him. He must have really meant it, because he never said things he never meant. And he never lied too, like I just said earlier. When he finally met my eyes, I could see the admiration in his eyes for me that I had seen all those years back, when I had met them for the first time. At that very moment, everything about him that bothered me all these years disappeared. His eyes, innocent like an excited kid, had nothing to hide. Besides admiration though, I saw another emotion and when I realized what it was, I was stunned. It was Love.

***

Yudhisthir and I were Ice & Fire: Poles apart. And that obviously meant our thoughts hardly ever were the same. This meant that we would be arguing most of the time. When I say Ice & Fire, I also mean it literally. His nature was like Ice and mine was like Fire. And generally, it's the Ice that subdues the Fire. Only, I hadn't realised that a Fire can melt an ice too, which may not always be in a positive way.

Being with Yudhisthir was like sitting on a swing. His behaviour towards me was extreme. Now, I am not saying that he was bad. No, I knew he was the most clean hearted person ever. But there were things about him that really bothered me. Like the principles he followed, and expected everyone to follow. He had been used to his younger brothers doing that. But I was not always ready to accept things as they were. So I would question him. And then, in his slow, agonizing way, he would chide me and tell me all about Dharma. Like I would ask him why after everything that his cousin Duryodhan had done, would he be ready to still accept peace. He then proceeded to give me a lecture not only on Dharma, but also Karma, Moksha, etc.

He had once asked me if I would ever forgive him for staking me in the Dice Game. That game, where I was shamed like no woman ever should! Only I knew how much I burned within for revenge, for justice. Yudhisthir on the other hand was ready to give everything up, and have a happily ever after in the woods. I told him I had forgiven him, but I hadn't forgotten it. Which I am glad I hadn't because I had to keep reminding him throughout our exile period about it and the humiliation that he and his brothers also had to go through. Sometimes I knew I crossed the lines with my words, but that was also the only way to get him to hear something. How could he be ready to settle with peace was beyond my understanding. How he thought that was Dharma was beyond everyone .How he could see his younger brothers struggle as they worked hard during the day in the woods, and not be bothered by it was just plain ridiculous! My lashing him however didn't really change his stance on peace. If it wasn't for others convincing him into it, he wouldn't have let the war happen. Then all of us would be living in the woods for the rest of our lives. Somehow, but I couldn't blame him totally. Yes, he was at fault for staking his younger brothers and his wife in the Dice Game.But still, I knew him...I mean..nevermind.

We had our fun moments too. Sometimes just for the sake of annoying him, I would contradict him. Somewhere, he knew I was doing it just for the fun of it, because he would only smile and keep quiet then. And though he never followed my advice when I would want him too, like the time when after the first Dice game, he was invited to play dice again. There were also times when he would ask my opinion about a certain things in relation to running the Kingdom. There were times when he went surprisingly sweet too and would ask me questions on what I wanted, wished, etc. I of course never took chances with him and always gave very vague answers. Perhaps that was why he would suddenly turn very cold towards me? I don't know. Like I said, sometimes a fire can melt an ice, which may not be good.

The times I enjoyed the most with him were our evening walks in the Gardens in Indraprastha. He would very rarely hold my hand while we walked and would also maintain a certain amount of distance. He used to often call me Kalyani', a name I really love. When we would walk together, he would be very calm and then when he would call me by that name, I just felt plain euphoria, although I don't know why. When he was super happy, he would bend down and pick up flowers that had fallen on the path and clean them and hand them to me, although he was initially embarrassed that he hadn't plucked the flowers. It was only when I had assured him once that I understood that a part of his Dharma also said never to hurt a living thing did he relax. Our walks were seldom peaceful, although I must admit that the quiet ones never bothered me because they were never awkward. Also, what I enjoyed most about our walks was when I would ask him questions, voluntarily. He would enlighten me about things then, and made sure never to go overboard with it. Of course, I had to give in my inputs most of the times, and we would start arguing and then in the middle of an argument, just look at each other and start laughing. At times, he would come and talk to me about things that bothered him, and he would look like a little boy who was lost on his way home. At such times, he would patiently hear me talk, and I made sure never to show-off my knowledge, as much as I wanted to. After all, this side of his was unknown to most, even his own brothers, and it was a unique thing for me that he spoke to me about his innermost fears. I treasured it.

I continued to look at him, his eyes still wide by the confession he had just blurted out, by calling me "his Panchaali". Resisting the urge to pinch his cheeks at his current expression, I looked back at him. He wanted me to react probably? Honestly, I did not know what to say. I realised that I never disliked him. In fact, I had really enjoyed his company most of the times and the happier memories is what I would like to cherish. Of course, his ever so nice nature, wanting to forgive others always bothered me. But I somehow now, didn't want to hold it up against him. WE always did show a sense of responsibility towards each other, at least that's what I felt. His eyes searched mine, waiting for me to look away and ignore his words. I could see them begin to darken with disappointment, like he knew I won't react; I could read him well enough after all these years. He even knew that I cared for someone else the most, but he still had a tiny hope that I would at least accept his confession. Before the ray of hope faded away further, I looked into his eyes and smiled and nodded my head. He grinned at me like a child who had been given his greatest gift ever.

***

PS: I don't know where to start actually.

I wanted to update six days back but then my home ka net wasnt working and I thought I would do it from office but JUST NO TIME . Sorry bout being late

About this one, Okay, maybe not many of you are Yudi fans, and trust me I never used to like his character as such. But then this Star Mahabharat came up and well, Have u just seen Rohit's rare smile and big chocolate brown eyes? He is adorable, like a child. So yes, I wrote this keeping him in mind and well, I ended up making Yudi sound better than he was. or wasn't. i dont know much though.

Also, a lot of things here are fiction, I dont even know whether they all met in heaven or not or I dont remember, but I think they did😳

Thank You to all of u for reading my previous update about Drish and giving me ur opinions, I m kinda flattered😆

Let me know your thoughts, and btw, I am still waiting for someone to tell me if the title is fine or should I change it? Suggestions are welcome.

Love,

Payal😳