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The Journal Of Rishabh Kundra
i m ugly.i know it.from childhood ,i knew it.i came to know the bitter truth of my life in my childhood.when one day, a kid cried seeing me.i ran to console the kid.then i heard him saying"mom he looks so ugly n dangerous .he looks like a monster.i m scared".that was it i knew i looked like monster.but i was not a monster.i used to often compare myself with my dad.i had a larger head then my body.i had a large nose n monstrous lips.everyone were terrified of me thinking me as a monster.i hid from them.i hid myself from the world.i was afraid of myself.my heart was broken.i didnt hope for a life.but one day unexpectedly life n love came gushing in my life
one day my parents took me to the hospital .it was routine checkup they said.but i know i was going to die.i was never worried abt my death.instead i m'waiting dor my death to engulf me.atleast my death,will redeem my parents from me.i waa a burden to them.i wanted to get peace soon.atleast get myself peace soon from the world
doctor said"how r u rishabh?".i said"i m fine".doctor said"ur going to be alright".i said"dont say lie.i know i m going to die".my mom said"no rishabh ur not going to die beta.believe in doctor".i didnt say anything to annoy my mom.i let her believe her views. then doctor said"u need to be admitted, rishabh".i nodded.
i was given patients uniform.i was settled on the bed.then the doctor came in n shouted"madhu,get me the syringe for the patient".then she came inside like a fresh breath of air.she was soo beautiful. i have never seen anyone like her.i didnt knew it was her eyes or her lips curved into a shiny smile or her tip of nose which had a tint of pink.she was simply joy.i kept watching her.she looked at me.i waited for a widening of eyes or any hint of disgust.but rather then any of the above,she looked into my eyes n smiled.for the first time,i felt my heart fluttering n my face blushing
she was my duty nurse.then she used to come to take note of my conditions. she often tried to ask me questions such as"what do u like to eat?,do u love watching tv?".but my answers to all her questions was to ignore her.i dont wanna create a bond with any human.i dont want any human warmth or relation to bind me when i'll be gone forever.
she one day asked"why r u soo separated from the world.why dont u talk to others?."i said"i dont want to.."she asked"why?".i said"i dont like to talk to others".she suddenly jumped into the bed n said"why dont we became friends?.i dont have much friends too.will u be?".i had never seen anyone soo enthusiastic abt being my friend.how cud i ignore it?.i mildly said"yes"
from that day,madhu used to drop in everytime with a joke book.or herself crack a joke which i used to never find funny.but i absorbed her every word.suddenly she held my hands.whenever she hold my hands i feel my heart beating loudly.she asked"will u come for a movie with me?".i said"i cannt..i m not allowed".she said"then we can watch movie here".i said"but we cannt".she said"i'll arrange.u have to just sit n watch".
as promised, she did.this was the first movie i ever watched.i cud never forget it.not coz of the storyline of the movie but only becoz of my madhu's company.as the days were passing madhu became my friend n my everything.everyday i used to wait for her to come to me.her chatter is like a sweet music to me,her hands in my arms ,her palms so soft.i was not only drawn to her emotionally but physically. i started noticing her beauty.i was ugly i know but i was a man.my madhu was the only one to arouse my manly desires.i knew i m a creep to desire her when i cannt give her the forever kinda love.but i m selfish..really very selfish.one day,my madhu had a crazy wish to dance with me.i compiled to her wish.when i took her in my arms,my breathe hitched.for the first time, i felt i was born to be here ,in my madhu's arms.as we danced together my hand started moving to places where my hand should not.i expected madhu to slap me.but she gracefully smiled at m.her smooth body against mine was like heaven.if i die nw to i wud never regret
days were going smoothly until i had a splitting headache.the doctor immediately took me for checkups.i knew the time was close.i was sad that i m leaving sumthing here.but happy that i felt love n loved by.i sat by the window reflecting my short life filled with pain n happiness. suddenly i cud feel tears wetting my shirt.i turned n looked to see my madhu crying.it was late night madhu used to go home at that time.what was she doing in the hospital.i tipped her face n before i asked her she kissed me passionately n aftersome time we broke the kiss to breath.she said muffingly "i cannt..i love u..i want to feel the love..i want u..me n u..".i knew her want.but i cannt..i wont..i dont want to destroy her life for momentary pleasure. i love her more then bodily.her love for me was enough to cherish for a lifetime.i said"i cannt".she said"u can..let me love u..u dont have to do anything".then she kissed me softly then passionately.she worked me out of my clothes.she slowly trailed a feather of kisses over my torso.i never felt soo beautiful inside n out.i too turned my madhu n removed her clothes n treasured her body n love.the night was full of pleasure n of taking n giving love.
the days went with chatting n talking to madhu.at night,in the sweet arms n love of my madhu.today,madhu n i r going to date.our first ever date.i loved every moment of it.the way after dinner,we wwnt to a walk in the moonlight.i never told madhu but she looked like a goddess in the moonlight.her eyes shone with my love.i set this image in my heart to cherish forever.i know i had to let her go but selfish heart doesnt let her go.i want to say sorry to my madhu that i was soo selfish.i hope madhu wud forgive me once i m dead.
tomorrow i live or not i dont know.so i m writing this book for my madhu.
this story is of me n my madhu
here my story ends ,my madhu's story continues...(if i live tomorrow i wud write more moments of my love with madhu.if i end tomorrow too i wud die a satisfied man with the love of madhu.i have experienced everything what a man craves..soo i m the luckiest guy ever lived
she closed the diary.she cried everytime .she loved every moment of hewr life with rishabh.everyday she used to cherish the memories of rishabh.she is closing towards her rishabh every moment.her tumor is going to lead her to rishabh forever.she always prayed that she shud die before rishabh.but god was cruel he took my rishabh first.now noone cud keep her away from rishabh.her every pore knew,that soon she was meeting her rishabh.instead of feeling sad abt her death,she was excited to meet her rishabh.she was waiting to be drown in the sweet embraces n sweet touches of rishabh
she took a pen n cancelled n wrote
"here story of rishabh ends,the story of madhu ends,
but their love lives happily ever after"
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
