FF: Ankahee | Thread 1| Chapters 1-33 - Page 44

Originally posted by: noiseygirl

dear waiting plz cont soon cant wait

Originally posted by: aDarkAngel

Rekha..this is for you darling 🤗 !! I too cried so much 😆yaar !!

Have faith in my faith yaar 😳...am really hopeful that someday we will do our dance ...am very sure love overcomes every hurdles, even in this case LOVE will be triumphant yaar... You know there is this simple rule "if you love someone, you need to let them go, set them free..if they return then they are your true love"...Madhu just let go of RK, setting him free...as RK (still) loves Madhu he will have to return" and he will !!

I am right naa TK ?? 😆😆..please need your vote of confidence too😆😆 😳

Originally posted by: NalayakShaitaan

I read all the chapters at once and damn..I am left wanting for more.
There were times when I couldnt take it..but didnt want to give up

Chapter 18

RK stood - stunned, startled, and speechless - at the building entrance. He wanted to stop Madhu, he wanted to hold Madhu and ask her to stay, but he just couldn't. The words had disappeared and his feet felt like they were made of metal. Madhu handed him something and left. Madhu left!

It felt like it had happened in a blur, because his brain had frozen, leaving him incapable to react to anything from the moment he had seen Madhu. She had left! For good? RK's heart sank with a deep sense of foreboding. What had he been thinking?

His mind went back to his thoughts after last week's office party. To last Sunday...less than a week ago, when he had finally decided that both Madhu and him were better off apart then in a relationship that was getting worse every day. He was torn, in pain, he recalled. But at the time, he was looking for a way to fix the situation, and he couldn't think of one. So he chose the one that seemed the easiest choice among a number of difficult choices. It's so much easier, so often, to quit than to stay and fight!

What was going through his mind? Speaking to Madhu that morning had left him confused and broken. She was in pain, but he didn't understand why, and how could he fix it. He just knew he couldn't see or hear her cry any more. It sent daggers through his heart. He cared for her, a lot, and seeing her in pain was too much to bear. He felt terribly inadequate, like he would never be enough for Madhu. That caused him to be angry. At himself and at her. Why did she make him feel like that? Why did she want to change? Why could he never give her happiness? Was this whole relationship even worth it?

RK was choked, caught in the web. He felt defeated, and wanted out. This was not how he should be feeling. Was Madhu feeling the same way and just not voicing it? Was she even happy? Was he himself happy?

That is when he sent Madhu the text, asking if she was happy. Somewhere, he hoped, she would say no, and then tell him what they could both do to fix it. He was, he now reflected, probably looking at Madhu to tell him the solution and to save them.

She called back, and all RK remembered from how her voice was pain. Immense pain that she was suffering, even though she was saying she was happy? Why would she do that? Why couldn't she see, rationally, that neither of them were happy? Why couldn't she stop looking at him as a f**king super hero, because he certainly didn't feel like he had any magical powers to make everything ok!

That's when his mind snapped. He couldn't let this go on. If she wouldn't say it, he would. And he did.

"Do you love me?" Madhu had asked, and RK had been stunned. She had finally voiced the question that RK had himself been sub-consciously struggling with. Did he love her? He certainly believed he did, at some point, but now, what was he feeling now? This confusion, this feeling of failure, this need to escape and find peace - was this love? Sure didn't feel like it used to. Was he falling out of love?

He didn't know. He needed someone to tell him, to help him make sense of what it was. But he had no one to ask. So eventually, he had just answered with what he did know - that he did not know if he loved her.

RK remembered Madhu's gasp, and then the line going dead. He called back, but the phone was unreachable. He sent a text. "Sorry" was all he could say. What else could he say?

He slumped back on his bed. Madhu's gasp reverberated through his ears all night. That was the sound of her heart breaking, RK knew.

With that gasp, RK felt like the oxygen of his life had been sucked out. He suddenly realized, with dread, that he had broken up with Madhu. Over the phone! The f**king phone! Shit! He should have at least met her face to face and tried to explain! But he hadn't planned it, and now that it was done...The only saving grace was, RK then thought, that he did not have to see Madhu. He knew right now that she was in pain, but he wouldn't have been able to see it on her face...

The next morning, he didn't go to work. He was unable to think or feel anything. He felt like calling Madhu, but stopped himself. She always used to know what he was thinking and what he needed, but that wasn't an option anymore, was it. He thought about calling some of his friends, but he resisted. What would he tell them? Why had he broken up with Madhu?

Unable to find an answer, he went to a bar and sat there, alone, drinking, hoping that the alcohol would unblock some of the choked emotions inside him and the world would begin moving again. That was when Madhu called. The same question stopped him from picking up the phone - what would he tell her. Eventually, though, he had picked up the phone. She sounded...desperate. She was rambling and sounded more at the brink of losing self-control than RK had even imagined, and his protective rational instincts kicked in. He tried to tell her to be calm, he rationalized for her what he hoped was the "logical reason" why they couldn't be together. He probably did calm her, but once she hung up the phone, the storm let loose inside him. He drank, he cried, and he felt helpless.

Then, he called Maya and asked her to come. He needed a friend right now, someone who could help him make sense of what was going on. She had been through a breakup, she would understand, he had thought, and he was right. Maya was helpful - she listened for hours as he cried and poured his heart out. His guilt. His unhappiness. His resentment. His worry about how Madhu would take it. She didn't say a lot, but RK felt grateful to have someone who would listen. Eventually, Maya had dropped him to his home and by the next morning, he had convinced himself he had to be stronger. Maya had explained to him that he needed to move on and not wallow in self-pity. So he blocked out all the confusion and all the painful feelings in his heart, and tried to distract himself so he could eventually move on. He tried not to think of Madhu either, but he couldn't keep her out more than a few minutes at a time, so he immersed himself in work.

It actually had been almost two full hours without his thoughts going to Madhu when he got the text from Ria: "Had run into Madhu accidentally and brought her home. She looks really weak and unwell. I guess she told you she fainted in her office. She is sleeping now but I think you should be with her."

That stirred up a frenzy of conflicting emotions inside him, undoing all his efforts of the entire day of moving on. She had fainted?! How badly was she doing? What had you done to Madhu, RK?! She didn't deserve this! One part of him wanted to run and reach Madhu, hold her in his arms and never let go. But the other half of him stopped him. That would lead them straight back to the rut they had been trying to get out of, wouldn't it. He tried to control himself, but eventually his concern won the battle and he called Madhu. She sounded much better than he was imagining she would be.

"I didn't know you still cared." She said. Did he? Did he still care? Of course he did. But why? Umm...because she is still my friend. I am not evil. Yeah, friends. She is still my friend. Let's be friends. That's what he had told her, and she agreed, which came as a relief.

Yeah. Friends.

And then what she said stunned him. She was asking him, requesting him to celebrate his own birthday. What? He had thought she would ask for something more. God knows she deserved more. But she asked him to not be sad and to celebrate his birthday. He didn't even remember his birthday was coming up. He couldn't say anything, he was so startled. He probably mumbled a thank you, he didn't remember.

He saw Madhu's emails. The guest list, the party reservations, the few to-dos still left. She had been putting a lot of work in this! RK felt guilty. He called Maya, hoping to get some independent perspective on what he could do about this party. Celebrating his birthday was the last thing he wanted to do.

"RK, I understand you are in pain. But you have to move on. And this may be a good way to start. You can't keep hurting like this forever." Maya said.

"I know. But... it's too soon. I don't want to, but then, Madhu asked for it as a favor. I don't want to refuse her. She would feel worse. I don't know why she wants me to do this!"

"Well, because she cared for you. See, she is not a bad person, she did care for you and even you cared for her. Relationships are different, much harder, and the reason you're not together any more is because you are not compatible and want different things from life. That doesn't mean that the concern you had for each other in the past was wrong. And I think Madhu also realizes that you need to move on. That's why she is asking you to celebrate. And I think you should respect her intentions."

"Hmm. I feel terrible Maya."

"I know. I know Rishu. Trust me I went through the same thing when I broke up with Hemant. Every day felt like hell, especially when I thought about the fact that I gave him pain. I did care about him at the time, and that made it hard. But I had to move on. You know that, you helped me move on. And that's why I am telling you to do the same now. Respect Madhu's wishes, honor her memory, and move on. It was a relationship - not even a year you guys have been together. You'd get over it, trust me. It's not the end of the world."

"I don't know. Maybe you are right. I will think about it. Thank you. Bye Maya."

Eventually, he agreed. But he asked Madhu to come too. Maybe seeing her, as a friend, would help him finally realize the new reality and would help him move on. Besides, he wanted to thank her for organizing the party in the first place, but did not have any words for it.

And most importantly, what he wouldn't even admit to himself, was the strong urge in him to see her. He didn't know what he wanted to see on her face, maybe he just wanted to be sure she was okay. But he had to see her once, and this seemed like the most reasonable way to ask.

So he asked her, she said yes, and RK went back to his efforts at blocking out the pain, distracting himself, and hopefully forgetting everything for long enough that it would stop hurting on its own.

That was, until this morning.

This morning, Rohan and Ria had shown up at his place, ostensibly to wish him.

"Happy birthday RK." "Happy birthday" Rohan and Ria had said with big smiles as he opened the door and let them in.

"Thanks guys. What a surprise. Thank you. Come in."

"Well, we had earlier thought about meeting up, then thought maybe you're spending the day with Madhu. So we were going to see you in the evening party anyway. But then Ria texted Madhu this morning, and her reply made it seem you guys were not together. So we came here, thinking maybe you're still at home and we can interrupt you for a bit." Rohan said as he settled down on the coach.

"No, no interruptions. Thanks for coming. Want something to drink?"

"Naah. We just had a big brunch." Ria said. "So tell us, what plans for today? I know the evening party is no longer a surprise. Your girlfriend is silly. She had been telling us for weeks not to give you any hint about it, then she told you herself, right? She is silly."

"By the way, Ria said she was unwell earlier this week and fainted in office. How is she now?" Rohan asked before RK could respond to Ria's question.

"Well...she is ok...I think. Listen, I need to tell you something. Madhu and I...we broke up."

"What?" Ria stood up. "When? Why?"

"Last week. I...I told her...it just wasn't working guys. I wish..."

"You broke up with Madhu? Are you serious?" Rohan was agitated.

"Oh my God...that's why she was...oh shit...but why would you do that RK? Both of you loved each other so much." Ria asked.

RK sat down and tried to compose himself. For two days, he had tried not to think of this question, but he had to answer now.

"We weren't happy. Things had been...difficult. Maybe this is for the best. She was getting too...demanding."

"Madhu was getting too demanding? What was she demanding RK? A little bit of time? Your attention? God, you know what RK, in all these months I got to know Madhu...I was always stunned by how much she put you, your needs, your desires above her own. I can't believe she was the one demanding. Do you even know what demanding girlfriends are like?"

"Calm down, Ria. Let's hear RK out. Maybe there were other issues we don't know about." Rohan tried to intervene.

"I...I am not saying Madhu didn't love me or she wasn't good. Maybe she was too good for me, Ria. I don't know. I don't think I understand her any longer. She has changed. She used to support and understand my pressures and limitations, but recently...she had been getting too possessive. She didn't want to be with my friends, but she wanted me all the time. It felt like...no matter what I did, it was never enough. Maybe she was too good for me. I just couldn't fix it anymore. I know she was hurting, and I was unhappy too. So I called her...and told her.."

"You called her and broke up with her? Really? Just like that? You didn't even try to work it out why she was behaving like that. You say she changed, did you ask her why?" Ria was outraged.

"Ria, calm down. RK, Ria is right. You should have sat down with her and tried to make it work. Every relationship has problems RK. That doesn't mean you break up at the first bump. I thought maybe there are more things, but if these kind of issues are all there is, then I think you did a huge mistake. I know Madhu, I have seen Madhu. She loves you like crazy. Her entire world revolves around you. Every time we see her, it's obvious that you are her entire world. And honestly, from what I have seen, she has always been willing to adjust. She always forgives you for anything you do. I know she was lonely when you were in Mumbai all the time. Long distance is hard and needs more work than usual to keep things going. I don't know if you put in your share of work. If you need her to behave differently, I am sure, knowing her, if you guys talk it out, maybe you can work it out. I know you care for her. I have seen you with her, and honestly I have never seen you as happy and as content when you two were together in all the years I have known you. She made you a better person, don't throw it away!"

RK was stunned speechless listening to Rohan. He didn't react, but Ria stood up. She was almost in tears.

"Leave it Rohan. I don't think he will understand. RK, you know what, I think it is a good thing you broke up with Madhu. It's great in fact. If I were her, I would have broken up myself long ago. You have always been taking from this relationship, what did you give her? Ask yourself if you gave as much love, care, attention, support and time to Madhu as she gave you. Sure you might have cared for her, but you never made her a priority. Was there any difference for you in the way you felt about Madhu and the way you felt about any of us - about Rohan or Maya or me? I don't think so. Come Rohan, I can't stay here any longer. Thank you RK. Thank you for freeing Madhu."

Ria walked out, and Rohan only added, "I am sorry RK. Ria is reacting emotionally. But you must give this a thought so that you understand what you're giving up, before it's too late."

Rohan left, and RK slumped down. Ria's questions hurt, and brought back all the emotions he had been blocking all week. Of course there was a difference between Madhu and the rest of his friends. He loved her, dammit. He cared for her more than he ever cared for anyone. He desired her like he had never desired anyone. But Ria didn't think there was a difference. Does that mean his behavior did not show how much Madhu used to mean to him? But Madhu knew, right, how much she meant to him?

Confused, RK broke down.

He reluctantly got up and got dressed when it was time for the party. He had to go, he didn't have a choice. And maybe, maybe, Madhu would come there. Maybe, she could answer RK's confusion.

Not that he could ask, of course. What would he say? That was the question bugging him, when he saw Madhu slip in the party. His first thought was she looked like an angel - even in her plain yellow sari and no makeup. Her face was...calm, emotionless. He couldn't read it from the distance. He struggled for words, wondered what to think her, as he kept walking from one person to another, delaying his conversation with Madhu, even though he could feel her eyes on him. Eventually, he walked up to her, and she had held out her hand. He had never, ever greeted Madhu shaking her hands. Not even when they had just become friends. He shook her hand. At least that way he got to touch her.

He was still struggling to find words when the music went off and the DJ announced his name, asking him to come back. The spotlight was on him, and he turned back to see what was happening. He was taken by surprise, he didn't plan this. People, his friends, were clapping and calling out his name. The spotlight was on him. He hesitated for a minute, then turned back so he could take Madhu with him to the stage. But by the time he turned back, she was no longer there. And then he found himself bring pulled to the stage by the crowd. Maya was there, some of his other friends were there too. And others stood below, applauding for him. They all egged him on to cut the cake. His eyes searched for Madhu but he couldn't find her. He looked at Rohan, standing below, and saw the accusatory look in his eyes. Guilt nagged at him.

He cut the cake and got off the stage as fast as he could. He ran towards where Madhu and he was standing, but she was no longer there. He looked everywhere. His heartbeat raced in panic. Maybe she had left! He ran out of the party hall and down the stairs. That was when he spotted her, at the building entrance, where he saw her walk away. She left, leaving him stranded.

Right here, right now.

RK looked at the packet he was holding in his hands. It contained a small wrapped box. And a note. RK fished out the note and read what it had to say,

"Rishabh,

I didn't know what to give you - I no longer have anything you want. Except one thing. You wanted freedom. I am giving you your freedom back. I am sorry for not understanding sooner. I am sorry for all the pain I have given - I wish I could take it back, but I have no control over time. But I can free you of the past, of the baggage of our relationship, and of any residual feelings among us. I hope you are free, happy and have a great future.

Happy birthday. Thank you for everything.

Goodbye!

-Madhubala."

RK stared at the note in his hand even as tears fell from his eyes. What had he done? Madhu...she had said goodbye. He had lost her...forever! He had, by his own hands, strangled their relationship and their love.

"RK! What are you doing here?" Maya's voice came from behind him. RK turned to look at her, but his mind was still in the daze, grappling with the implication of what he had done to his own life.

"Come inside! I have been looking for you everywhere..."

"Uhhh.."RK wasn't listening to Maya. His heart was sinking like it would stop beating any instant, and his mind was throwing all kinds of words and memories back at him.

"Actually, it's good you are here. RK, I wanted to talk to you. I needed to tell you something." Maya moved closer to face RK.

"Madhu...Madhu..."

"What?" Maya asked, shocked.

"Madhu..Maya I lost my Madhu. Maya, oh my God, what have I done? I...oh f**k...why did I...I need to go Maya. I need to go get my Madhu back. I love her...I love her...I love her dammit." RK said, more to himself, than to Maya. He touched his forehead and closed his eyes.

"I need to go" he said and ran out of the building. Maya stood there, tears streaming down her face, watching her hopes shatter in a million pieces.

Destiny wondered if it was too late.

Originally posted by: memad

can we get a weekend treat in form of 2 updates plussseee...with puppy eyes...