SS: NOT a love story [Discontinued]

DonnaHarvey thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
ETA: Please note this story will receive monthly updates unless I feel like writing more. I would appreciate feedback (my sole reason for publishing on forums as opposed to a less interactive fiction site or Wordpress, for example). I look forward to writing and hearing from you.

Prologue

She looked the happiest dressed in her tissue tee and yoga bottoms. Luscious curls flying under the aromatic air of the kitchen fan, big smile adorning her gradient pink lips, one look into her doe eyes was enough to make me fall in love over again. I wish treasured her presence in my life. Her fingers pressing against my collar, her tiptoes greeting my tired feet, her kiss waking me in the morning- I wish I knew she was irreplaceable before I let her go.


As we sat on the opposite ends of a corporate round table, I realized both how much I loved her and how bad I had messed up. Our wedding ring was no longer on her finger but she held on to the challa I gave her with my first salary. The beat up silver of its band spoke volumes of its past.


"It isn't much", she'd said as she kissed my first gift for her. "But it is more than enough for me. Money or not, you'll protect me. I have faith". I still remember her hiding in the moldy basement of a fixer-upper apartment, making hot-cakes to sell at school. I'd buy a dozen a day just to give her business.


"You idiot, you hardly have any money", she'd curse when I stole from my mother for her. It took me a year just to get on her good side. Eventually, she saved up enough to let me move in to a dingy rooftop flat downtown. Truth be told, she was always the courageous one. Taking up every odd job a girl could handle and more, she taught me everything I know about business.


Even though we stand at crossroads today, I know I would never be the icon I am without her. Her drive to fight pulled me up from the dumps. Her tenacity kept me going through the tough times. Even when I got tired of our pouring failures and did nothing but laze around, she was ready rain, shine, or snow. She'd pick up after my mistakes, cleaning up whatever mess I'd left behind.


"I am your wife and it is my job to clean up after you. To clean up, and put food on the table", she'd say.

"And what's my job?" I had naively asked.

"Your job is to protect me. Don't worry about failing, you can fall back on me. Don't worry about making money, I earn enough for the both of us. Get powerful enough to protect me. But not so powerful that you forget me".


Unfortunately Madhu, your Rishabh has done just that. He's become so powerful that he forgot you. He's so swallowed up by his pride that he cannot see the destruction right in front of him.


"I am sorry Madhu, I could never protect you. Not then, not now", I said as I passed our company agreement toward her.

She nodded in consent but the bystanders looked at us wide eyed. No one but the two of us understood what I meant. With a flick of the pen, Rishabh and Madhubala were torn apart once again.


Breaking News: The highly profitable conglomerate Sky corp. has abruptly shut down five of its electronics manufacturing plants in country after losing a long stretched court battle with their rival Blue Ink. Rumor has it, Mr. Kundra of Blue Ink may be responsible for bringing on criminal charges against the CEO of Sky, Ms. Madhubala, for insider trading. Though the investigation against Ms. Madhubala is just beginning, these proceedings will be long and exhausting for the company. Looks like Sky will be losing a lot of its market share to Blue Ink. Reporting live from the Supreme Court, this is National News Now.

Edited by DonnaHarvey - 11 years ago

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DonnaHarvey thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2

Chapter 1: Calm Before the Storm (page 4)

Chapter 2: Regret (page 6)

Chapter 3: My Family (page 8)
Edited by DonnaHarvey - 11 years ago
-Pritt- thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 11 years ago
#3
The way you describe things never fails to impress me. Not even kidding. Like, you describe everything. Even the air. If it weren't for those describing words, I wouldn't be able to picture the whole thing as well as I do.

Oh what'd he do now...I mean, when DOESN'T he mess up?

Aw him buying a dozen a day. How cute.

I like how he actually admits that he is what he is because of her and her help.

"Get powerful enough to protect me. But not so powerful that you forget me"."

Love that line. ^ I swear, someday I'm going to be quoting the GREAT JASLEEN!

Not even kidding. I think you'll release some book and the day you do, I'll buy it and begin quoting you on everything.

Wait what, what happened, I'm confused. What's the agreement!

WHAT. HE WENT AGAINST HIS OWN WIFE.

COME ON RISHABH. Stupid RK.


Okay, I think I like The Power Couple...but if possible replace the word 'Couple' for something else? I'm not sure.

How about uhm...I have no idea.

Love is War is still good.

DEUCES!

Lol, I like that word. If you could incorporate Deuces into a title for this, that'd be cool.

Edited by Hiddlestoned - 11 years ago
DonnaHarvey thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: Hiddlestoned

Res.

Love is War.

I haven't read the prologue yet but that's the catchiest title out of the three in my opinion!

hmm I don't mind but I would like to see if this option still stands once you read the synopsis
-Pritt- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: DonnaHarvey

hmm I don't mind but I would like to see if this option still stands once you read the synopsis


I unresd above!
LizBennett thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
U been massacring grammar babushka...gradient lips...??.
Like the plot line...don't follow the serial...
Love/war...flip the coin...the coin has 2 sides
All is fair in...
Pick ur choice...

Happy new year...young 'un...
Rani.
DonnaHarvey thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: LizBennett

U been massacring grammar babushka...gradient lips...??.


Like the plot line...don't follow the serial...
Love/war...flip the coin...the coin has 2 sides
All is fair in...
Pick ur choice...

Happy new year...young 'un...
Rani.


I will take this moment to remind you that you're old. keke joking. google gradient lip or pink gradient lip and you will see what I mean. are there any other errors? if so let me know I will correct em right away.
I quit the show ages ago. just that this is the most generic plot for me to base my stories on. jodha akbar is too historical for example. this is just right.
love is war seems fitting now that you AND preeto recommend it. the rest can be chapter titles as fitting I suppose.
happy new year to you as well
Edited by DonnaHarvey - 11 years ago
DonnaHarvey thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: Hiddlestoned

The way you describe things never fails to impress me. Not even kidding. Like, you describe everything. Even the air. If it weren't for those describing words, I wouldn't be able to picture the whole thing as well as I do.

Oh what'd he do now...I mean, when DOESN'T he mess up?

Aw him buying a dozen a day. How cute.

I like how he actually admits that he is what he is because of her and her help.

"Get powerful enough to protect me. But not so powerful that you forget me"."

Love that line. ^ I swear, someday I'm going to be quoting the GREAT JASLEEN!

Not even kidding. I think you'll release some book and the day you do, I'll buy it and begin quoting you on everything.

Wait what, what happened, I'm confused. What's the agreement!

WHAT. HE WENT AGAINST HIS OWN WIFE.

COME ON RISHABH. Stupid RK.


Okay, I think I like The Power Couple...but if possible replace the word 'Couple' for something else? I'm not sure.

How about uhm...I have no idea.

Love is War is still good.

DEUCES!

Lol, I like that word. If you could incorporate Deuces into a title for this, that'd be cool.

IKR? Dude is the king of screw ups.😆 Owning up is the first sign that separates a pro from the novices. I love that line too. You'll be the first to get a signed copy when that happens. I promise.😉
He did go against her but if true, insider trading is a serious offence. This could go either way. replace couple with deuces to make "power deuces". okay, we both stopped making senses ages ago. bye😃
DonnaHarvey thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#9
The title has been decided. It is: love means war.
Enjoy!
rdave1 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#10
I simple adore your writing and how you weave the story.
I swear on all things holy, one day I will reach inside my laptop and strangle the living life out of that Rishabh Kundra. Can't he go just ONCE without screwing up? He had one job to protect her, and from the sound of it he has royally screwed that up.

I know your stories have a very real ending so not sure if my suggestions for the titles will work or not but I shall suggest anyways.

Power Brokers or Brokering for Love????

Favorite line: "Get powerful enough to protect me. But not so powerful that you forget me". It packs a punch and says volumes about the level of hurt Madhu is and how badly Rishabh screwed up.

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