Chapter 88
As he walked into the room, he could hear the heavy deep breathing that indicated sleep. Walking over to the bed he looked at her. Tousled hair all, body all tangled up in the sheets with the covers kicked off all over the place. A little stuffed pink and white rabbit held snuggly in her arms and a look of peace on her face. Softly he picked up the cover and tucked it back around her gently. Even gentler he reached down to brush the hair from her face, pushing it back over her shoulder.
"She always kicks her covers off." When he had looked at Maya in confusion, she elaborated. "When she sleeps, she always kicks her covers off." He nodded not knowing what to say to that. She turned and got halfway down the hallway before she turned back again, "Rishab, promise me something?" He asked, "What?" Maya looked wistful, the kind of look that parents have when they know they've lost their children to another. "Promise me you'll always tuck her in again after she's kicked the covers off. I don't want her to catch a cold." He nodded, understanding what she was saying. Accepting the blessing she was offering him, "Always."
He smiled as he remembered the awkward post whacking conversation he had had with Maya. He leaned forward to smooth the covers one last time, before he made his way to his side of the bed.
As he lay on the bed looking up at the ceiling, he pondered over what his father said. Yes, he was not at fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. He repeated it till he fell asleep.
*******
As much as he tried to keep away the thoughts in his conscious hours, the nights were a whole different thing. It would start out with Madhu and him, him kissing her, him palming her breast, his lips sucking at her breast...he maybe the hero but he is still a guy... and then suddenly it was not him, it was Sikander who was holding, touching his Madhu. Madhu would be screaming and calling out for him... Rishab..Rishab.. but it was like he was stuck in another dimension, where he could see and hear everything but could not do anything about it.
Rishab woke up, heart pounding, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. Before he even realised that it was all a dream, he heard a sound, an exhalation behind him. Instinct took over. He rolled over grabbing his opponent, pinning him down and had his hand pressed to the throat of his opponent before he even had a chance. He growled ferally scanning the room, taking in his surroundings. Realising that it was just a dream, more like a nightmare, he finally looked down, only to have wide eyes stare up at him with a mixture of surprise and fear. She lay still but slowly reached her hand up to his face. The hand pressing against her throat was shaking, along with his arm, evident of his battle for control. A battle between instincts which still held tight and the sudden recognition he had felt. Her hand was on his cheek now, guiding his face closer, taking her time. Here in this moment, time always seemed to stop, leaving an eternity for everything.
Their eyes were locked, her deep open eyes leading him slowly back to himself as their faces moved closer. She wasn't rushing him or pushing him, merely showing the path back to his personality away from the protective instinct his body was still thriving on.
His hand stopped shaking and he dropped his hand harmlessly to the side as their lips met, he was home. It was her first kiss, after the incident, a sweet one, a desperate one, a needed one. Later, it could have been an eternity or a millisecond he was never sure, they broke apart. He looked down at her, at her sparkling eyes and self-conscious smile and seemed to snap back to his hellish reality.
He had almost killed her.
He scrambled backwards, away from her. Confusion graced her features. "Rishab?"
He winced, he'd hurt her by his reaction. He could tell by her voice, kisses shouldn't be followed by these reactions. He'd almost killed her. It was time to finish it, save her from the pain he would bring.
"I hurt you. Don't you see. You should get away from me. Leave me."
"No Rishab." She said firmly. "This was an accident. I should have known better than to sneak up on you when... You're only hurting yourself."
She waited a couple of minutes before she went and sat beside him, close enough to reach out and touch him and far enough so that he didn't feel crowded.
"What happened... was terrible. But I want... no need to put it behind me and move on. And I need you to do it with me." She let what she said sink in.
She looked at him from the corner of her eye watching for any reactions for what she was going to say. "I know about the nightmares." He flinched, but continued to remain silent, so she continued, "I waited for you to tell me about them. But you didn't. I need for us to talk about it so as to put it behind us once and for all." She moved her hand slowly towards his. Their hands barely touched, but she took comfort in the fact that he didn't withdraw his hand.
Rishab sighed and bent his hand down before he spoke up. "They started that day. It's the same dream everytime." He didn't specify the day because they both knew the day he was talking about. "Everytime I close my eyes I see him on top of you, hurting you. You are screaming and calling out my name and I am just standing there, not able to do anything, as if I were a mere spectator."
Him speaking to her was all the encouragement she needed. She moved in front of him and held him by the shoulders, shaking him as hard as she could, forcing him to look up at her.
"It.was.not.your.fault." Madhu emphasised each word loudly, hoping to get it across his unusually thick skull.
"I know it was not my fault." Rishab matched her pitch.
"You may know it, but I need you to believe it. Rishab I need that. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning and there is noone who can save me. But then I look at you or think about you and that feeling of life leaving me vanishes. I need you Rishab. I need you to survive." Madhu's eyes glistened with tears and slowly her tear-ducts overflowed as the emotional build-up reached its limit.
Rishab reached up and held her face in his hands. He didn't move to wipe her tears, rather he let it flow. Through her tear-blurred eyes, she took in the wetness that graced his face.
"Madhu... I... "
"Oh shut up and kiss me already..." Madhu countered.
He bent forward and took her lips in a kiss, burning hot, trying to transmit how he felt.
The kiss earlier was more like a peck than an actual tongue-tied kiss. If that was sweet and made her feel good then this kiss felt like an explosion on her mouth. Sparks went up her spine. Not the sparks of disgust she'd been so afraid she would feel after Sikander but sparks of pleasure.
Rishab was in a state of bliss. Madhu's lips under his, her body pressed close. It had started out as a need for comfort, a kiss to reassure himself she was still there, still his. It had quickly escalated into something much more passionate, and much more satisfying.
She wouldn't give this particular moment up for anything, not even for the knocking on the door. Whoever it is can wait.
Rishab was so intent on the feeling of Madhu all around him, and on ignoring everything else, he missed the knock at the door.
He broke the kiss, breathing hard and pulled away, waiting for a reaction from her. Madhu stood perfectly still with her eyes shut, savouring the moment.
Akash eased open the door, slightly wary of anything that Rishab and Madhu might be doing. He had reason to be concerned.
He stared in disbelief at his best friend and his girlfriend making out on the floor instead of the bed. Rishab's hands were in places that would definitely give Maya a heart attack.
Slowly Akash reached a hand up to cover his eyes. He figured that if he was going to interrupt he'd give Kundra one less reason to pound him for seeing anything having to do with his girlfriend.
"Um, guys..."
He heard a curse or two and some frantic scrambling as they separated.
"You can uncover your eyes now Akash." Madhu's amused voice called out.
She looked wild, her long hair was all mussed, her big lips even more swollen and missing the trademark lip-gloss. Akash shot a quick glance at Rishab, most of the lip-gloss had ended up on him. Akash couldn't hold back his smirk.
Rishab bristled at it, "Got a problem, Akash?"
Akash debated telling him but decided not to, Adam needed to see it to clench the bet. Instead he just fiddled with his collar while looking at Madhu. She got the hint and quickly fixed the buttons she, or Rishab, had mis-buttoned up while his eyes were still closed.
"I was the lucky one chosen to come and invite you two for breakfast. I believe it is pancakes, chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes. By the way Maya and Mr. Malik are here too."
Rishab just looked at him waiting for him to leave while Madhu perked up. When he continued to just stand there, Rishab looked him in the eye, "We'll be out in a minute."
Akash nodded and left the room. He stopped outside the door and with a positively evil grin poked his head back in, "No more than 5 minutes, or I tell Maya just what you were doing on the floor."
A magazine hit the wall next to his head and laughing he left.
Rishab watched Akash leaving with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. Once he was positive Akash was gone he turned back to Madhu, she was staring at him with those big brown eyes.
He gently reached out and pulled her close enough that he could rest his forehead on hers. They sat like that for several moments, silently facing each other with their foreheads pressed together. It was peaceful but he needed more. He needed to touch her. He reached out to caress the freckles that graced her cheekbones.
He needed to make her his. He reached into the bedside table and felt around for the box he wanted. Finding it, he brought it out.
He pulled back from her so that he could see better. He pulled out the ring from its case. He grabbed her hand, studiously not looking at her face. He wondered if she knew just how much he loved her. If she'd known that she'd been the only light in his dark world. He had told her many a times that he loved her but it wasn't enough. He needed to show her just how much.
He slipped the ring into her finger. "It was my mother's ring."
She gazed at the ring in awe. A simple yet elegant white gold eternity ring set with a continuous line of tiny identically cut pink diamonds, symbolizing never-ending love.
Just as he was wondering if he got it right, he felt the impact of her throwing herself at him. His sprawled out on his back with her squeezing the life out of him and the big happy Madhu wet smoochie kisses were getting flowered on his face. He shifted in her grasp with a groan and gave a gruff, "Madhu we gotta go."
She hung on for a few more moments either in joy or just to annoy him, he wasn't sure. As he stood up, he caught the happy smile that graced her face.
"Everyone's waiting." He got to the edge of the room when her voice stopped him.
"Rishab."
He turned around, watching her walk towards him with an expression of pure unadulterated happiness.
"Yeah?"
She smiled at him and took his hand in her own. "I know... And I love you too."
He turned away and started to lead her down the hallway. She knew, she understood.
Akash watched Rishab and Madhu walk in. Madhu was grinning her head off in a giddy happy state clutching Rishab's hand. Something was odd about their clasped hands but Akash couldn't figure it out. So he, along with the rest of the room, looked at Rishab.
Or more specifically looked at the cherry colored lip-gloss he still had smeared on his face and lips. Akash stifled a laugh opting for a smirk and a quick glance at Adam instead. Adam was bemused at it and stifled his laughter.
The silence was broken by Akash's obnoxious voice, "All right, Adam pay up."
Adam grumbled all the while as he dug into his wallet, "How did you know?"
"I'm the master." Adam obligingly, if grudgingly, placed a crisp 500 Rupees bill in Akash's open palm. Akash snapped it a few times to show off then still grinning pocketed it.
Rishab was annoyed, they'd interrupted him for this? If that bet had been about him and Madhu, Akash and Adam would pay. He scowled, the effect broken by the lip-gloss.
Abby giggled then motioned at her mouth, "Rishab..."
He scowled deeper this time as he blushed slightly. Madhu looked at him and mortified noticed her lip-gloss. Everyone knew what they'd been up to. She grabbed a tissue and attempted to wipe his face off.
That only made his embarrassment worse, he knocked her hand away, she wasn't his mother. He scowled at her and took the tissue away and did it himself glowering the whole time. She and everyone at the table, which included the Maliks and Kundra seniors too stifled their giggles, or tried to. He just glared at everyone, not happy that he was the butt of a joke. After a moment though he took a seat at the dining table still glowering at everyone, daring anyone to say anymore about the subject.
All of a sudden Abby shouted out joyfully, "Oh My God!!" and rushed out of her chair towards Madhu and grasped her left hand and gawked at her ring. Madhu smiled at her reaction and looked towards Rishab. "We are engaged." He announced.
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