RK-Systematically Victimizing Madhu While... - Page 12

Originally posted by: pnars

Dear TM,

I don't like being called naive, no matter what the dictionary says. It is not a compliment in my book.

Don't dictate the ending of a story, unless you are a CV employed by a production house. Don't think I "go away thinking that abuse can change to love". Your definition of abuse and love and mine are different. Don't talk about "my ilk" or "people like me". You know nothing about me. I don't want or need your care or concern. Don't assume things on my behalf, or on anyone else's. Don't do netagiri and give me moral science lessons. Don't spoil my entertainment options in the name of your psuedo-psychology or feminist drivel. Do not police my TV.

Thank you.

Originally posted by: Beckett

Change comes from within you cannot change a person until he/she is himself willing to do so. But it is a common fantasy to see an emotionally damaged hero healing or finding happiness by the pure love and devotion of the heroine, we all like to see how grey characters try to fight away the attraction and ultimately succumb to it!
According to me getting influenced by fictious characters and like you mentioned girls tolerating abuse hoping for the guy to change totally depends upon the sensibility of the viewer, viewers should be mature enough to differentiate between real and reel life, in TV industry they need to show an intense love story which cannot proceed if RK is not given a chance to redeem himself!

One of the most appreciated piece of literature had Heathcliff as the lead who was vindictive , dark extremely passionate and obsessive somebody you wouldn't want to cross path with but that character was loved and appreciated by people throughout the world. He made his life and Cathy's life a hell but people fell in love with the depth of the character, no one supports his ideas or his emotionally abusive ways but they loved him for his intensity. Same goes for Christian Grey who was severely emotionally damaged but got his happy ending!

Originally posted by: Escape.My.Love.

No wonder Indian women and girls are treated the worst in the world!! You watch abuse like this EVERY evening on TV from childhood onwards and it ends with the guy saying "sorry, I love you" and its all ok and they live happily ever after???!!! THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. The countless number of girls and women, who think that her boyfriend/man/husband will change only if she loves him enough, or does what he wants etc etc, is SHOCKING!

Oh and for all those who think it doesn't influence you, and you know the difference between your real life and what you enjoy watching??? If ALL of us were not being influenced, advertising which is a mulit-billion dollar industry

My response in this color:

Btw , Women are not treated the worst in India. The amount of rape statistics is topped by America all over the world. The only difference being , the abusers get the punnishments and the extent of punishments they deserve and never leave such issues and cases pending in court like in India.

There is another equally if not more significant difference. Abuse and rape is way more likely to be reported in the US than in India. UN estimates are that over 95% of rape is unreported in India due to the stigma associated with it. That is why the figures are larger for the US. And the figures that are there for India don't include marital rape.

And I am sorry but the comment you made on how women are treated and tolerate such men shows your ignorance. Abuse is very much present but the origins of abuse , and how some abusers are not bad people is seen to be royally ignored.You want to say just cause some men are thoroughly damaged and they can only give damage they do not deserve a chance of a normal family or a normal life?Some "abusers" or the harsh term used for them are not pathological or bad men! Rather too many bad things has happened to them. The sort that are unimaginable leads them to have distorted lives and unable to be in peace despite try to settle with their own families! It is like they fight with themselves everyday but the shit they have faced all the life gets the better of them and translates to physical abuse.
I am not diagreeing with you. Origins of abuse are varied. However, my post is pertaining to that which is carried out by psychopaths. Because RK is being portrayed as a psychopath.
But what makes you think that they have any pleasure or not regret in what they do. Psychopaths do not. If they show regret, its an act.
They wish they were never like this.They fight with themselves every single day. Yes it is very difficult to live with such men , as fathers and husbands.But that does not mean they will be classified as brutal beaters or abusers. This classification is a very delicate issue.You just hear these things but you personally don't know their stories. Moreover much worse abuse has been shown within couples in Tellyworld who are still seen as "epic" , and have had much worse abuse than Rishbaala.Rishbaala is more of heart break. Not abuse. See Prem-Mukti and Angad-Kripa who I love but have much more toxicity in abuse in their stories than Rishbaala ever has.

Originally posted by: Siri22

Have to respond to this. Will surely but later.

Originally posted by: Escape.My.Love.

Don't bother. I am done arguing.

Originally posted by: Escape.My.Love.

Oh_No_Soaps - I completely disagree in some points. Do you even how know delicate it is to actually term someone and classify someone as a psychopath? Do we not sometimes hit people around us out of vent just like that? So are we abusers? Emotional abuse has variant forms and if we closely see then normal people like us do it as well , but that does not make us beaters or abusers. Ignorance and covert abuse\passive abuse is seemed to be a big category of abuse within emotional abuse as well which Madhu herself is doing now. When they were together , if I am not wrong Madhu used to inflict violence back and according to Johnson's categories of violence , what Rishbala do is "mutual violence control" [ MVC]. The thing about power relations within Rishbaala through control and violence has been discussed in the discussion threads many times. As in who takes the particular control of the other of showing them the "right way" through dominating them inflicts in mutual violence. It is said to be the most rare form of violence found. Madhu subjects to violence against him too , but not to always defend herself but sometimes to gain the right hand in trying to show RK that who is the boss over here and who is "right" in what they want to do. Madhu's notion of right is seen to what people see as right ie morality and RK's notion of right is seen as dominance. But both to establish their rights fight for that power through mutual violence. Nobody seems to even understand the dilemma and delicacy surrounding the diagnosis of labeling someone as abusive , because many people have different cases and just cause one hits it is not always cause it is pathological or psychopathic. Broken family and abusive childhood and traumatic events make it hard for many men to live stable lives and they cannot control that forever aggression inside them that directs as physical lashing. And one cannot say that whatever the reason - they are abusers . Branding people with traumatic experiences to be labeled something this harsh just cause those dilemmas have never been taken cared of for years is the very reason why people still are so reluctant to go for counselling and psychoanalysis. They are so scared of facing their problems because of the harsh labels society brands them in. Just cause one is ignorant about the variation of experiences one can multiply experience in this life , people overlook those not even wondering if they would be half as stable as them if they were in their shoes and easily label them as abusers. People that also professional helpers are very very careful in when understanding and choosing in terming someone as abusive. And here this word is being made in to a joke.RK does not physically do anything and emotional abuse is also something we ourselves do so are we abusers then? Even people who physically abuse are first observed for many days before terming them to be an abuser or not. And here the word is been randomly thrown everywhere. The delicacy of the word and the difficulty in diagnosing this word for so many sorts of people is next to impossible for every professional psychologist.

Originally posted by: Escape.My.Love.

siri - thanks. so the casual hitting smack we do to our friends and everything while laughing or teasing or sometimes just push each other away makes us abusers. i get it. so yeah dont bother to reply back to an abuser. :D So even the bullies in school are not misguided children who need counselling but beaters and batterers who are psychopaths. nice to know. :)

Originally posted by: mytinypaintings

you make some really valid points viz a viz their mutual relationship and also how much of an analysis and observation goes into before some one is termed as sociopath. I wont deny that I too have not accepted this term for RK fully. He does have some very remarkable differences from a typical psychopath but then he does meet most of the criterias. so far Madhus violence goes most of it was either a result of self defence mechanism or ethical battle as you have said ...while in mutual relationship your observation stands correct but the reason makes all the ammount of difference required. SO while your reasoning does have some valid points but it fails to put their relation in the category of mutual violence control.