I gulped down three glasses of water on my way in to the courtroom. I prayed a prayer of desperation to make the judge anyone but Shinde. And there he was, the dreaded judge Shinde.
"Mrs. Kundra, you are awfully late. The prosecution has already delivered their memorized speech and I see you have brought that hooligan husband of yours right with you, AGAIN".
"I ask my Lord maintain the decorum of the courthouse". Shit! Why was I butting heads with him? Calm down, he is just an old chap. I reminded myself and zipped up.
"My dialogue served back to me? Well played, Madhubala. Well played. Proceed".
I had got it! The judge had no issues with me, I think he might even like me. The man he despised was Rishabh. This could go just right or terribly wrong. I had to make sure all eyes were on me. For opening statement, my angle of visibility was as crucial as my words. I was playing two men with same cords. Rishabh and the straight-out-of-the-grave judge Shinde were in direct light of my full moon behind.
"December 21st, 2011 11:51 PM Rishabh Kundra calls his wife to inform her of his car accident at Meera Road. 11:58 PM wife is seen leaving her apartment on a bicycle. 12:10 the bicycle arrives on seen as recorded by the fancy device named steppometer. I installed it for weight loss purposes. Works really well you know, judge. I wouldn't get off the bike without paddling for 10,000 steps. Gives you a sort of adrenaline rush. You should try….."
"Order, order. Mrs. Kundra, we are here to listen to your opening not my health goals. Although do hand me a paper with address of the vendor, I must".
"My Lord", the whiner prosecutor whined.
"What? Can't judge be health conscious?" Rishabh just had to speak up.
"Sit down, young man. I don't like you", the judge pointed his order hammer at Rishabh. He sat his butt back down at the threat of the wood damaging his gentle scalp and the $500 coiffure.
"Back to business. Chop, chop Kundra. I am hungry and it is close to lunch hour".
"Your honour".
"Ahem", the judge cleared his throat. "Your honour? We were a colony once. Don't you Americanize me".
Right, because the British are any less of an evil than the Americans. Atleast we have people of colour in that nation. Why don't we make up our greetings like aadarniye judge ji? We have plenty of languages to choose from.
"My Lord, the police say a whole different story. There are a ton of loopholes in their records including the fact that the record was and I quote, 'updated to include a breathalyzer test conducted on Mr. Rishabh Kundra'. Unquote. There is no mention of an official drug report or blood work which and I quote".
"Oh would you stop quoting", can a whisper from that pencil eating, lipstick hogging, man stealing, evil little B!^(#
"Anyone who is not an attorney or called on to the witness stand may shut up now unless they want to give……"
"Give these free loading courthouse guards a job to do. I am hungry. Shall we break for lunch now, judge?" I was desperate to get out before the end of my opening. I could fake a heart attack if I had to but, there was no way I would deliver a sub-par speech for the most crucial case of my career and my marriage.
"Mrs. Kundra, please let me make some good dialogues. Your day will come. In fact, I will nominate you for Chief Justice someday. Just please stop taking my glory in my last days".
The judge, as perverted as he was, was my kind of a guy: biting and humorous. If only age were a number; I winked at him making sure to cut in to Rishabh's field of view. He was coming, my job was done.