Hello all , well today is a very spl day for me. exactly one year back i had started writing on this forum " sweet tasha moments" if u remember so today i just couldnt stop myself from sharing one more story with u. hope u enjoy it , till now i have always written along LTL lines but this time i have tried something which is a little different from LTL , do share ur views with me. i know the title has my name too but dont u think atleast this much i deserve on my first anniversary ..lol..
Tonight my work got over early while my room mate supriya had a late night shift. It was way past midnight and I couldn't sleep so thought of listening to some music but my bad luck the radio wasn't working, I slapped it a few times but it refused to budge so went out for a walk alone. Thank god it had stopped raining and for a change the sky was all clear but I didn't want to take any chances so wrapped a stole around myself securely with only my eyes being exposed. These Mumbai monsoons I tell you though are wonderful but sometimes can take a toll on you. I had taken a few steps out of my house when I heard a loud noise. I wondered who was bursting crackers at this hour when someone grabbed me from behind and held me at gun point. oh so those were gun shots, I was totally scared and cursed myself for coming out for a stroll, I knew the city was not safe but it could be that unsafe I had never imagined. The person holding me captive screamed "dutta bahar aa ja varna aaj yeh ladki maari jayegi." I smiled inwardly at his stupidity, why would a person hiding safely come out for my sake after all I was not his relative but to my surprise a tall young man in black phattani suit came out of the shadows of a neem tree pointing a gun at his enemy, his eyes had this fire that could burn anything coming his way, he clenched his jaw firmly and said " chod de is ladki ko , tu janta hai humare dhande mein bachon aur ladkiyon ko beech mein nahin late." I was impressed these men had principles just wished they would follow them tonight and set me free but the man holding me captive was a tough nut to crack he replied " pehle apni bandook neeche kar ke woh heere (diamonds) mere havale kar phir main ise chod dunga varna goli mar dunga." Don't know why but I was finding the whole situation so funny, see, I agree the person standing before me was a man of principles but he was certainly not an idiot to part away his diamonds for a stranger like me but once again he proved me wrong. He took out a small box from his pocket, dropped his gun and threw the box in front of me. I was still amazed by his gesture when in no time a group of goons surrounded him and started bashing him. I thought after getting those diamonds the person would leave me but no he was using me against him. I couldn't see him being beaten up mercilessly and that too for me, had I been not around he would have dealt with these goons in his own way. I struggled to get out of this man's grip, I wanted to reach out to him when all of them after smashing him came back to their boss and he laid on the ground bleeding profusely, tears welled up in my eyes on seeing him so brutally hurt, it pained me to see him like that, so helpless all because of me. If that wasn't enough for them , the gun which was earlier resting on my temple was now being pointed at him. My heart came to my mouth, I thought I was about to lose someone precious, someone dear, I couldn't control my anger and yelled " tumhein mil gaya nah jo tumhein chaiya tha ab toh jaane do uney ..mat maro..chod do ..CHOD DO UNHEIN" that creep smirked at me, he was about to pull the trigger when I bit his hand hard which was holding my wrist and stamped his foot at the same time. He winced in pain and left my hand which was enough for me to pick that box from the ground and run to my savior, he was also alert he picked up his dropped gun and shot all of them in one go. I shut my ears with my hands on hearing the gun shots and closed my eyes in fear. A minute later there was pin drop silence, I removed my hands and opened my eyes to see all the goons dead. I sighed in relief and looked down, he was lying down clutching my foot. I bent to his level and called him out " SAHAB .?.SAHAB ?..UTHO ..apko kuch nahin hoga ..utho" his eyes were getting heavy and before he fainted I managed to pull him up, he leaned on me and with a lot of difficulty I dragged him to my house.
He laid unconscious on my bed, I quickly brought turmeric paste to apply it on his wounds, my heart twisted in pain when I saw his fore head , corner of his mouth and neck, all bleeding, I thought of getting a doctor for him early in the morning. I sat next to him and slowly applied the paste on the wounded areas. When I reached his neck the paste stung him a lot and he grabbed my hand tightly. His touch made my heart skip a beat, I looked at him, his eyes were still closed. I lowered myself and blew softly on his neck, he released my hand slowly a smile crept my lips and I kept on staring at him. All of a sudden my radio which was earlier not working now started playing and guess the song it chose to play
Tum aaye toh aaya mujhe yaad
Gali mein aaj chand nikla
Jaane kitne dinon ke baad
Gali mein aaj chand nikla
Automatically my gaze fell first at the moon shining in the sky and then on him. I examined his face carefully, he was drop dead gorgeous, wasn't clean shaven had stubble but what attracted me the most was his dimpled chin. I was surprised at my own boldness, the way I was admiring him. Earlier I was blown away by the way he had handled the whole situation. I mean in today's times when my family and friends left me to deal with my crises alone, he was there for me if he wanted he could have easily run away with his diamonds without risking his life but no he stopped for me," a complete nobody", took the beating without any complaint and was even ready to die had I not intervened and now his looks were killing me. The song continued
Aaj ki raat jo mein so jaati
Khulti aankh subha ho jaati
Main toh ho jaati bas barbaad
Gali mein aaj chand nikla
And I wondered life is full of surprises, sometime back I was here all alone and then met him accidently. What if I had not gone out tonight, probably all this would not have happened. A beautiful accident which I would not forget ever. I just couldn't take my eyes off him wanted to reassure myself that he was fine but they were getting tired so when they closed and my head dropped on his shoulder I don't remember.
************
I woke up to the honking of cars outside, my head was still hurting and the whole body was also in pain cause of last night's beating. I looked around for her,NAKKU right? Yah her name was tattooed on her wrist I saw it before collapsing in her arms, she was nowhere so I slipped my hand in the pocket to take out the cell to call my friend baaji but found something along with the cell, it was that box of diamonds, she must have put it in I thought. I opened my left hand it had her anklet, must have caught it when I fell near her foot, events of the night flashed before my eyes, Her honesty and bravery deeply impressed me, don't know why but didn't have the heart to return that anklet so kept it in my pocket. I got up to leave but thought of leaving a thank you note for her before doing so. I scribbled two lines quickly.
Kal raat ke liye shukriya
Kismet mein hua toh phir milenge.
Left the note on her dressing table when my gaze fell on the flower vase carrying beautiful red roses. Picked one and placed it on the note. Days passed by but that incident didn't leave my mind. Those soulful eyes haunted me everywhere I went. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw those green emerald pair of eyes staring back at me.
She was covered from head to toe, only her eyes were visible. Had there been someone else I would have done the same. After all how could I risk someone else's innocent life for my work. But why did it pain her when I was being beaten up? Earlier she was calm when that Chaskar was holding her at gun point but as soon as his men started punching me her eyes became teary and her whole body restless. Didn't even utter a word when she herself was in danger but as soon as his men attacked me she shouted at them even plead to leave me. This was new to me, no one had ever stood up for me. Every blow that came my way hurt me physically and her emotionally. More over when Chaskar held her she didn't attempt to free herself but when he was about to shoot me she stamped his foot and ran to me without worrying about her life, he could have easily shot her had I not retaliated on time. After that the concern in her tear filled eyes and worry in her soft voice that she would not let anything happen to me left me speechless. How could she be so tensed for a stranger like me? How could she shed tears for a gangster like me? If she wanted she could have left me there on the road but no she brought me to her place, nursed my wounds as if I meant something to her, what I don't know. Her beautiful eyes that wept for me and her sweet voice that called me " sahab" didn't let me rest in peace. Why did her tears hurt me more than those physical blows? Why did I feel indebted for the priceless pearls that she shed for me? Why did her concern touch me so much? Why couldn't I get over with her? I smirked when baaji said that I had fallen for her. May be he was right, Dutta Shriram Patil had indeed given away his heart to her but all these feelings of love and affection didn't hold a place in his profession. Here the mind ruled the heart. Love made one weak and I couldn't afford to get weak, these emotions were not meant for me but still my heart was beating for her, in spite of knowing that these feelings would lead me no where I just couldn't stop thinking about her.
So baaji suggested instead of drowning into her eyes I should drown myself into something else and he took me to a beer bar, the loud music played there tried to silence my inner voice which only called out her name " nakku". We sat there with our beer bottles and started drinking. Baaji was busy enjoying watching the bar girls dance to raunchy songs while I scanned the whole area when my gaze stopped on a bar girl, we both kept looking at each other, don't know why but she looked familiar. She danced her way to us and took the 100Rs note that baaji was showing her then she turned towards me and that's when something struck me, her green eyes, how could I forget them, they had given me countless sleepless nights. Not only their color but the pain that reflected in them that night was still clearly visible, though now she was trying her best to hide it but was failing miserably. It was not just her eyes but I also noticed a dry rose stuck behind her ear, was it the one that I had left with the note, probably otherwise couldn't she stuck a fresh rose instead? But she kept that one safely, I wondered why? Did she too feel something for me?
she looked at me intently and raised her hand to touch my face, I saw her name on her wrist once again but then she stopped her hand, fresh tears welled up in her eyes which broke my heart. She pushed them back and went to the stage where she was dancing. I wanted to reach out to her but my mind was stopping me, I emptied my glass in one go and then lowered my head, didn't want to see her, didn't want to see her in pain. But my heart just wanted to do what my mind was not allowing it to do.
I lifted my head after sometime, she was dancing with a group of drunken men surrounding her. Then one of them grabbed her by her waist, my blood boiled and I stood up to punch him but before that she had already freed herself and slapped him hard. She left the stage in anger and went to the waiting/ changing room. After a while she came out to leave but stopped to have a glass of water and then left the place in a hurry. I noticed the man who was slapped giving money to the waiter who had served her water. Something was not right, my gut feeling said, soon he too left and I decided to follow him. After finishing so many bottles baaji was already on a high so didn't bother to inform him and left the bar. Barely taken a few steps I found her leaning on that man, she didn't appear to be in her senses and he was forcing her to get into his car. That was it, I pulled her back and kicked him hard, he banged his head on the pole and fell down. She looked at me with dreamy eyes and I thought oh no she was drugged. The next moment she fell in my arms and I picked her up. Looked around and saw that her house was nearby so took her there.
On reaching there I made her stand on her feet and searched for the key then saw a key hanging from her chain. Opened the door and dragged her to the bed then covered her properly with a duvet. She looked so peaceful and innocent while sleeping, so pure and delicate just like a rose. Automatically my gaze fell on the rose which she had fixed in her hair, I moved back the curl of hair falling on her fore head and called her out softly " nakku" a smile spread on my lips. I was about to leave when I saw that she was wearing only one anklet the other ankle was bare, I took out the one which I had kept with myself for days and tied it around her, now was the time to part with her and her belongings.
**************
I got up late in the afternoon holding my head it was paining like hell and to make it worse supriya had kept the radio on, I told her to either switch it off or play something light and soft, she changed the channel then gave me a glass of lemon juice to overcome the hangover. I looked around, I was at home but how? Then thought back, he must have dropped me home after I had passed out in his arms. So he still cared for me, and knew it was me otherwise how would have he brought me here, a wave of happiness ran through my body on realizing he too felt something for me. I opened the drawer and took out the note he had written, it said if destined, we would meet again and I waited anxiously for that day to come. My thoughts got interrupted when my favorite song started playing on the radio.
Maine tumko aate dekha
Apni jaan ko jaate dekha
Jaane phir kya hua nahin yaad
Gali mein aaj chand nikla
The lyrics described my feelings perfectly, I was on cloud nine when I saw him entering the bar. Our eyes met , I thought he wouldn't recognize me after all he had only seen my eyes that night and I don't think I had given him any reason to remember me. I so wanted to see him closely so on the pretext of getting money from his friend/companion I danced my way to him. Then turned to look at him, was it a dream? Was he really before me? I wanted to touch him and believe myself that my long cherished desire to have him had finally been fulfilled. I raised my hand but stopped in the middle when reality struck me hard, how could I forget that I was a bar girl who danced for money? How could I get carried away by my desires? Men derived pleasure from my dance moves, I was simply an object of entertainment for them and objects were supposed to be LIFELESS, EMOTIONLESS and WORTHLESS. Why was I trying to change my dream into reality when it was just not possible? Tears blurred my vision and I went back to the stage, the place where I was meant to be.
Supriya shook me and my thoughts, then handed over an envelope to me, it was an appointment letter for a job and had one more note written by him.
Jaanta hoon tumhein sahare ki zaroorat nahin..main sirf saath dena chahta hoon.
His unexpected concern once again touched me, just the way it did last night when I felt he called me out, had he really done that or was I dreaming? Whatever it was but it felt special when my name escaped his lips even if it was in my dreams, I thought the note would be accompanied by a rose too but no there wasn't any, automatically my hand went to my hair, the old rose which I had treasured as a symbol of my one sided love for him was also missing. I got out of the bed and looked around for it when my gaze fell on my feet, the missing anklet was back again. So he gave the anklet which he had kept it and took away my love in the form of that rose with him. I picked up the appointment letter and tore it into pieces, supriya was shocked and asked me why I did that? To which I replied " tu jaanti hai humare liye is gandagi (dirt) se nikalna mumkin nahin. Unki aur meri zindagi bahut alag hai , main chaa kar bhi un tak nahin pahunch sakti. Mere kandhon par mere parivar ki zimmedari hai , bhale hi woh mujhe na apnanaye lekin mere paison se unka peth bharta hai aur main apne pyar ke naam par apne parivar ki zimmedari kisi aur ke kandhon par nahin daal sakti. Aur waise bhi pyar karna mere bas mein hai jo maine kar liya lekin usko paana meri kismet mein nahin lekin mujhe zindagi se koi shikayat nahin, jab bhi in payalon ki cham cham sunungi toh samajh jaungi ki is duniya mein kahin na kahin koi hai , jise meri parvah hai, jo mujhe khush dekhna chahta hai, dur hi sahi lekin mera bhi koi apna hai, raat ke chand mein unka chehra dekh lungi aur jo ab meri palkon mein aansoo nahin balki ek namumkin sapna bankar palte hain."
**********************
The goods were loaded in the boat and we decided to leave the city, this time I was not alone I had some beautiful memories of her which were enough for me to cherish for a life time. I took out the dried rose from my upper pocket and smelled it, the rose had lost its own fragrance but it had hers instead. Just as a rose evoked feelings of love and compassion in us, thinking about her evoked similar emotions in me. I couldn't give her a place in my world as much as I wanted to because guns and roses don't go hand in hand. There would be a conflict between the two if they were together and that time it would be impossible for me to lose either of them, both meant a lot to me. It was not easy for me to hold her hand in my left hand and a gun in the right one, both were completely different from the other, former ruled my heart and the latter my mind and would try to influence me in their own way. So it was better to hold a gun in my hand and keep her in the form of that rose in my upper pocket, close to my heart. I gazed at the moon and thought may be she was too looking at it with same longing as me. We both desired the moon and couldn't get it but were happy at least we had it in our lives.
Baaji being innocent and nave had asked me why did I arrange a job for her and then left her instead of bringing her along with me, I had smiled and replied to him " main usey ek gandagi se nikalkar dusri mein nahin dalna chahta tha..yeh sach hai mujhse pyar karta hoon lekin mere paas usey dene ke liye khoon kharabe ke ilva aur kuch nahin hai, mujhe khudh nahin pata hota ki kaunsi goli agle mor pad mera intezaar kar rahi hai aise mein pal bhar ki khushi ke badle mein usey zindagi bhar ka gum kaise de doon? Aur yeh koi zaroori toh nahin har prem kahani puri ho, kayi baar puri prem kahaniyaan bhi adhuri lagti hain aur kabhi kabhi adhuri kahaniyaan apne aap puri ho jati hain"
Humari adhuri kahani
The End
Thank u for reading
lots of love
ROSE
