Chapter 11
A cold and bitter sensation running through the night, unforgiving winds and the atmosphere unpleasant the house very much mirrors the harsh conditions outside. Finishing his conversation over the phone Dutta steps into his room to find an unexpected surrounding. The wooden shutters to the far end of the room blowing ablaze. A gushing wind entering the room and effecting the smallest of attributes, dutta eyes happen to rush over the room specific to the dia nakusha would light daily in front of bapas idol. The flame struggling against the wind as per all the other elements in the room Dutta quickly walks across the length of the floor and closers the shutters leading to the porch. Pulling them to a close with some force he pulls the metal safely lock across. The feel in the room now more at peace but none the less very cold, Dutta walking to the bedside table on the right of the bed picks up a white remote control device that sits upon the wooden surface. Pointing the remote up to the air-conditioning system that is situated on the opposing wall his thumb and finger flicks a button repeatedly as he looks on with narrow eyes. He was trying to raise the temperature of the room yet a repeated flashing red light indicates that the system was not working. Duttas expression creasing a little at the initial failure he thinks of the million odd times he had instructed baaji to take care of the heating in the house but baaji being Baaji was more practical
.. "kya reh bhau patil wadi mein thodhi naa baraf girne wali hai..!" Dutta shakes his head as he thinks of baajis justification which had well and truly failed on this occasion.
….. As Madhu stops at the entrance of her brothers room a tray in her hands that carries a white porcelain tea cup. Madhu herself seems dressed apt for the freezing conditions in the house. Wrapped up in a red piece of knitwear Madhu seems cosy. As she pauses at the entrance of the room of a second she makes a note of Dutta who having his back to her has the waldrobe open. Pulling out what looks like a white shawl Dutta opens it up with a tactful shake and swings it around his shoulders, in one movement he wraps it around over his white kurta throwing the appropriate length of it over his right shoulder. Madhu knocking on the surface of the door lightly walks Into the room as Dutta turns around to the entrance. Closing the doors to the cupboard he watches Madhu walk in and stop a few paces in front of him. Looking over her and at the tray in her hands he gives her a curious look yet listens carefully as she steps closer to explain. Picking up the cup of steaming liquid ..Madhu hands it over to Dutta who listens to her explanation before taking the cup
." Its quite cold aur heating bhi nahin chal raha toe bhabhi ne sab ke leiyey chai banayi hai." Taking the cup from madhu Dutta watches his sister smile faintly then walk out of the room.
………
Later on into the night as Nakusha walks into a faint light provided by the table lamp dutta had left on..she tip toes ever so silently into the room with the intention of not disturbing him. Lying on his back dutta very much on his side of the bed on the left of the room, that green quilt drawn to his chest, his right forearm rested on his forehead in an arched fashion eyes closed. Nakusha pauses in her steps and glances over him for a moment thinking over there interaction earlier. There was so much more kindness to his persona than he let on, a little overwhelmed by the way she had seen a more tender side to her husband for nakusha..the smallest of gesture of his meant the world, these moments creating a feeling of hope in her, maybe he would truly love her some day but these thoughts were something that never left her mind..the same thoughts would bring her to tears and the very same thoughts as per this moment filled her with optermisum. As nakusha snaps out of the daze, silently walking towards the dressing table..removing her earrings.. her bangles that compliment her red and orange saari. She feels …the cold sensation in the room take to her.
…. Sometime later into the night, Nakusha still awake, tired and wanting to fall asleep yet unable too, agitatedly cold consistently tossing and turning from left to right this constant movement of hers although very silent is felt by Dutta who too is still awake. Having simply being laying there in rest..all the while listening to nakusha toss and turn. Having noticed her discomfort for a considerable amount of time now opening his eyes softly Duta turns his expression to the left, his right forearm still rested above his head..he moves just enough to eye nakusha who lays at some distance with her back to him. Dutta watches the way Nakusha crosses her arms over her shoulders and huddles up in an attempt to keep warm. Her posture still for a moment now..dutta turns his expression back..and closes his eyes as it seemed that she had now found some comfort. Contrary to that belief seconds later ..he feels the same movement again. She turns on her side this time facing him, without hardly any disturbance to his physic..or rest..dutta grabs nakusha by the wrist gently as she is just about to turn away pulling her closer in a firm , swift yet gentle action nakusha taken by surprise finds her self colliding against duttas posture. Dutta had pulled her close,her head was now resting upon his chest. Nakusha startled by the move..feels duttas arm wrap around her back as she rest upon him. His touch warm..melts that cold sensation she had been enduring all this time. Nakusha draws her eyes up to dutta watching him with a tint of overwhelm in her eyes. The feeling of being close to him was something Nakusha longed. She thought of him every second of every minute every minute of everyday and that never stopped. Even now as she watches him..lay there unaffected by her presence she is in owe of him, and this was something naku knew would never change nor did she want it to.
Nakusha looking up towards dutta warmly his eyes still rested yet very much aware that nakusha is still lay awake.. his fatigued tone directed at her his words gentle yet a defined.. instruction
"Soh.. jaa.…"Nakusha feels duttas arm rested over her back tighten letting a tear almost escaping her eyes she closes them shut just in time. Resting on Duttas chest slowly..a faint smile of content on her lips as she falls asleep gradually.
…….
As the morning dawns in Patil Niwas dutta lays in bed, his sleep disturbed by the warm sunlight and the sound of chirping birds at dawn dutta lays still in the hope of catching some sleep. Posited on his back..his right arm arched above his forehead, he could hear nakushas movement in the room but does not let that disturb his rest. From her leaving the bed that had stirred his peace a little initially ..to her faint exploration of the room. Opening of the cupboard and the sound of the shower running behind the washroom door.
As nakusha steps out of the washroom dressed In her magenta pink and lime green saari, her hair loose and wet on her shoulders she takes a glance towards the bedside, making a note of him sleeping she tires her very best to keep as silent as possible.
Heading towards the dressing table, nakusha picks up her mangalsutra from the wooden surface and rings it around her neck. She adds complementary bangles to her wrists..and reaches for the small circular container of vermillion. Taking an proportional amount on her ring finger she looks up into the mirror pausing a second as Dutta's reflection is visible a certain warmth grows in those eyes of Nakusha's as she applies her sindhoor with her husband shadowing the moment.
As per her daily routine Naku heads down to prepare duttas morning tea, watching him turn to his side as she is just about to leave the room most probably disturbed by that vivid sound her bangles. Nakusha as ever a little wary of disturbing him leaves promptly.
…
Stepping back into the room, glancing over to see dutta still asleep nakusha walks further into the centre of the room and places that porcelain cup at the coffee table beside a minimal stack of duttas files.
Normally he would be awake by this time, however not wanting to break his sleep unnecessarily nor knowing how to go about waking him appropriately, Nakusha takes a glance around the room.. heading towards his cupboard. Nakusha thinks twice before doing so but then presumes it okay as she was only taking out his attire and as his wife she had every right to take care of these small necessities of his. Opening one door of the cupboard finding herself looking up at the hanging contents of the wardrobe Nakusha tip toes that little bit and reaches for Duttas brown suit, having it to hand she just about manages to balance back on her feet. Turning around the once to make sure she was not disturbing his sleep.
A little later as nakusha stands before the wall mounted ganpati idol in there room she strikes the matchstick at hand firmly against the matchbox..that distinctive sound of her action sounded she carefully lights the Dia. Dropping that matchstick and box to the side nakusha closes her eyes for a second , putting her hands together in prayer.
At a close distance behind her sitting up in bed with a tired and drained expression. His eyes wary yet still very punctual per personality. Dutta sits at the edge of the bed as if he was just about to get up but had paused to watch her. That lime green quilt thrown to one side, his feet touching the floor and his arms pressed against each side of the bed. He had noted all those things nakusha had taken the liberty of doing for him..that cup of tea that sat on the table at a distance, his brown suit and overcoat hanging on the outer handle of the cupboard and below it on the floor his shoes. His watch, wallet and phone that sat on the bedside table and even his towel she had left placed neatly at the end of the bed. Watching her intently his eyes carry a very intrigued glow as if he was watching her with the intention to understand her that little more.
As Nakusha turns around not expecting Dutta to be awake nor for him to be watching her this way. She feels her heart flutter a little as her eyes lock with his expression for a second as ever she couldn't make eye contact for long. Dropping her eyes after a second or two..dutta continues to watch seeing the existence of hesitance in her posture ease slowly . Her eyes scattering for a moment dutta looks upon her as she tilts her eyes up towards him.
"
Khahin meri vaje se toe aapki neend…??"dutta grasping that question before its complete angles his head to the right a little pauses for a second watching over nakusha who lifts her eyes towards him and in reply he nods a "no"..his eyes glowing in a certain way as he listens to her words which seemed to always be filled with virtue.
As a soft silence falls between them Dutta watches Nakusha walk a distance across the room pick up his casual footwear that lies abandoned, approaching the bedside Nakusha stops before Dutta and places the leather footwear by his feet. Rising from that action her words very soft..
"Aap tayar ho jayey mein naazta lagati hai.." As Nakusha turns with the intention of leaving the room dutta stops her, his tone of voice firm yet warm.
"Joe saval tu mujse kar na chahti hai..woh nahin karegi?" nakusha turns back, hesitant to share her feelings and talk of what had played on her mind yesterday, dutta could blatantly see that upset still floating In her eyes. Unsure and a little hesitant nakusha hides her concerns under an insecure expression.."
Koi saval nahin hai saab.." she replies..
Dutta closes his eyes for a second expecting just that type of answer from her he ..nods his head knowingly and reopens his eyes to see her innocent gaze upon him.
Dutta's voice defined there is a sense of sigh that can be heard in his tone and prolonged words "
Hai,.. saval hai" pausing dutta looks into those eyes of hers yet again and finishes his words
magar bolegi nahin ..saab joe hoon tera." As nakusha took sight of his words..she looked at him with a little surpise because she knew he was right. there was something about there relationship that was very formal because that's the way she was. For her to question her husband was something that was unethical. nakusha watches dutta rise from his seated position on the bed..taking a small step in front of him he steps into the foot attire nakusha had placed before him. his expression a little fraded with tiredness..yet that look on his expression as defined as ever. Placing his hands behind his back with ease..nakusha glances up towards dutta for a moment as he pauses watching her from this short distance. that look in his eyes..that presence of his always seem to play on nakusha. Walking closer..stopping at a closer distance dutta looks over nakusha lowered expression..as he goes on ..
"Tu saval nahin kar sakti magar javab toe de sakti hai "Pausing very characteristically Dutta tips his head to the right a little ..his eyes glowing in a certain significance that mirrored his feelings within..
"meri kis baat se tuje laga ke mein tuje ek boj samaj ta hoon?" "Kya meine kuch kaha..ya..kiyay jo tu aisa soch ti hai..?" nakusha never having thought this way nor expected dutta to put these matters in such context nods in denial..her eyes asking him not to speak of such things but reading that sentiment in her eyes he continues making his point stronger..his words expressing almost a bewilderment in some ways.
"Ya phir meri kisi baat ne tuje yey ehsaas dilayay ke tu mere..ya is ghar ke laayak nahin hai?" as duttas finishes his words he waits for a response. Instead of a worded response dutta watches nakusha nodd a a gental no. That upset still in her eyes forces dutta to question her further.
"Toe yey bevaja ki udaasi kyun?" the reality was that he new what was going through her mind he just wanted her to realise that what anybody else made of there relationship was irrelevant.
Pausing to overlook that innocence on nakushas face..her tilted eyes duttas voice firm yet considerate of her feelings.
"Kal jab thuj pein saval uth rahe the..mein chup chaap dekta gayay..aur is leiyey nahin kyun ke un auraton ki baate theekh thi magar mein dekhna chahta tha ke tu mere leigyey kis haad tak bardaash karti hai.."That something he says fills in one of nakushas concerns, the fact that he had finally intervined was something that eased nakusha when she thought back to the incident but that expression of his watching her while she stood silently enduring the discomfort was something nakusha could not forget.. her eyes a little moist as she momentarily glance towards him ..
"
aur teri woh kamoshi ghava de gayi ke tu dutta shri ram patil ki patni hai.."he had addressed her as his wife which was something that was always overwhelming for her..as an strange silence comes to a close for nakusha..her eyes bearing hidden tears of content she feels dutta..take his eyes off her ..and slowly take steps past her. walking a short length towards the washroom his back to her …. Her soft voice..being sounded he stops to listen.
Nakusha looks towards the back of his figure..her words soft..measured.
"Aap ne muje mein aisa kya dekha saab ?..akhir mein ek naukrani hein thi naa?"This was the one question dutta knew he would have to answer sooner or later..closing his eyes sighing some what auidly dutta admits..his words prolonged and deep.
"pyaar..teri aankhon mein pyaar… dekha ta meine"Nakusha taken back by that response of his..her eyes fill with a certain radiant hope her words as ever shaped to provoke the feelings within him.
"Agar aap mera pyaar dekh sakte, mehsoos karte ho saab toe kahin na khain aap abhi bhi pyaar mein vishwaas rakhte ho naa??"Dutta tipping his head back opens his eyes and turns back to nakusha. Her eyes filled with affection and her expression hopeful of his response but for dutta it wasn't that easy. That feeling of love wasn't something he was going to let back in his life so easily.
Looking into Nakusha's innocent and stubbly requesting eye duttas expression turning that little more confined he prefers not to answer that question of hers yet his silence speaks volumes.
Mein kuch der ke leighyey aakela rehna chahta hoon.. kisi ko naazte par mera intaazar kar ne ki saarurat nahin hai."Dutta changing the conversation turns back and heads for the washroom but Nakusha cant help but think that there was still apart of him that was unconditionally bound to the feeling of love whether he accepted that or not.
….
Walking down the staircase Nakusha thinks about duttas words and realises that maybe she had hurt him..my mentioning that one factor that he had ruled out of his life..a little preoccupied with her thoughts as nakusha continues to walk down the stairs when she hears some significant voices..
Baajis tone of voice raised it looked as if he was about to have somebody pulled out of the house. Two bodyguards and a woman who seemed to be pleading with tears, as Nakusha looked a little closer she realised that it was one of the two maids dutta had dismissed from work yesterday.
Nakusha intervening in time stops baaji from having her taken away.
"Rukh baaji yey kya kar raha hai tu?" Baaji as ever up beat dressed in his deep blue kurta and denims..backs of a little, rubbing the back of his hair with annoyance.
"Naku..yey..yey vapas aagayi reh..aise hein time khoti kar rehli hai! an irritated and agitated tone baaji turns back to the woman who pleads defining his words a little more strongly.
..ek baar bola na bhau ne… chutti toe bas..! chal jaa yaha se!!" The woman trying to make herself heard amongst her tears and baajis shouting nakusha seeing the upset on the woman's expression stops baaji.
"ek baar uski baat sunlo baaji".. baaji not convinced turns to nakusha..
"Kya sunaa reh…maafi maang rehli hai..abhi jaake bhau ko bolta hai mein." Baaji is just about to turns towards the staircase when nakusha stops him. "
Nahin baaji..saab..is vakt koi pareshani nahin chahte." This was something that she would have to deal with on her own.
……….
Upstairs in the bedroom, dutta stood by his wardrobe rings around his head that brown kurta nakusha had left for him..pulling it straight he folds the sleeves to each arm carefully and takes a glance up into the apoosing mirror at the far side of the room. His hair gelled in water..those certain strands sitting neatly..fraded away from his hair..a neat yet significant bearded look. Turning to the side table ..dutta picks up his watch and clips it around his wrist. As it falls loose upon his arm dutta ..walking towards the sofa he takes a seat before the wooden coffee table and looks upon that cup of tea nakusha had left for him. picking up one of the files beside the the cup dutta flicks it open and begins to study the various documents yet his mind takes him back to thinking of nakusha. Her words trailing through his mind ..his expression deep in oblivion that innocent expression of her visible before his eyes.
…….
Sometime later at the breakfast time, sat at the table madhu and baaji opposite on and other the head of the table empty per it being duttas seat and the rest of the family already had there morning meal nakusha had stepped into the kitchen to get something her place on the left of duttas chair was empty.
Some intuitive glances to one and other over the table baaji notices the way in which madhu constantly plays with her phone. Checking it repeatedly that doubt of who it was growing in his mind. But as dutta makes his way down the staircase and towards the breakfast table, his hands firmly clasped behind his back his attire and look perfected neatly his eyes search for Nakusha as he stops at the breakfast table.
"Bhabhi..kitchen mein juice lene gayi hai bhaiyay.." madhu says with a smile..Dutta nods in acknowledgement and takes a seat at the table turning his plate he notices nakushas plate still empty..she was waiting for him.
As dutta sits silently for a second,,his elbows raised to the table and fingers intwined.his wristwatch loosly dropping over his right arm he sees nakusha walk in from the kitchen. A jug of orange juice to hand..as her eyes look upon dutta her lips take to a subtle smile she didn't expect him to come down for breakfast and now that he had done she knew he carried no hard feelings for her words ealier. Putting down the jug..at the table nakusha pours juice into duttas glass..and serves snacks. Dutta glances up to nakusha..his eyes directing to the chair beside him..it was he way of asking her to eat too.
As nakusha pauses for a second..she takes a seat on his left and begins to serve into her plate. A soft silence at the breakfast table and talks of that mandir journey ahead of them .. dutta eating silience fails to notice a certain made who walks towards the dinning table…..a tray of sweet dishes in her hands she leaves a plate beside every dish. Baaji cautious of this woman being the one dutta had dismissed and nakusha had decided to forgive without his consent looks at nakusha a little worst for ware. Nakusha reassuring baaji with a soft gaze couldn't deny the fact that she too was nervous yet she had made the right decision.
As the maid approaches dutta..silently places the bowl next to his plate and is just about to turn back and leave when dutta catches her expression.
"Rukh!!" dutta looking over the womans expression his eyes narrow as he thinks over he relevance..his expression begins to turns firm. His tone of voice nitally firm yet silenty spoken his eyes trail upon baaji who looks like he is unable to answer to question.
Baaji..yey yaha kya kar rahin hai..? yet again dutta repeats the same question, but the tone louder the irritation and anger growing lowly..
meine pucha yey yaha kya kar rahin hai!"TU BOLEGA YA MUJSE ISE PUCH NA PADEGA!!!.." duttas indication being towards the woman his anger now intense baaji tries to explain yet doesn't get a word In edgeways.
"
Bhau meri baat sun.. whoah…" dutta shaking off whatever baaji was trying to say his tone..loud..
KYA MERI BAT TERKO SAMAJ MEIN NAHIN AATI..!!! bola tha naa meine ke is ghar mein aise logo ki koi jaga nahin hai..!! bola tha naa..Baaji shakes his head in a yes..unable to say very much "ho bhau.."
Toe yey mere ghar mein kya kar ragin hai baaj!!!!!! Duttas anger targeted at baaji nakusha feeling the regret for having got baaji admists all this ..waits for a moment in which dutta pauses
"Saab is mein…baaji ki koi galti nahin hai.. mere bolne par usne ise kam par vapas rakha hai. Dutta turns to nakusha with a firm glare..having heard her comment.
An uncomfortable silence as he watches her..look into his eyes.
Baaji and Madhu realising that it was inappropriate for them to be there at the time they take there leave silently. Baaji eyes the maid telling her to leave and madu cautiously intervines .
"Bhaiyay ham aapka gadi mein intaasar karte hai." dutta hears madu yet does not react..watching nakusha very intensely he breaks his eye contact from her and watches them leave. Having nothing to her nakusha watches dutta turn away his expression to look into oblivion for a moment and then rise on his feet..to leave the table. Just as dutta gets up nakusha sounds her explanation softly..
Us ke chote chote batche hai hai saab..ek akeli maa...hai woh" hearing nakushas justification dutta closes his eyes for a second..reopening them he looks down at her..anglerling his head a little he listens..
"Mein nahin chahti thi ke mere atmasaaman ke leigyey koi batcha bhooka rahe…ya beghar ho jayey. Mein jaanti hai…aapki ijaasat ke bina…failsa lena meri galti hai lekin meine theekh kiya naa saab..? agar aap hote toe yehi karte naa."Dutta nods silently his eyes carry an understanding sentiment but he had conditons..his words heavy yet firm.."
Bas woh mere saamne nahin ani chahiyey naku.."Nakusha acknowledges his words with a silent yes watching him walk out
…….Outside patil niwas ..madhu and baaji both sitting in dutta car, baaji sat at the front passenger seat and madhu at the back both thinking about that tense interaction between dutta and nakusha..baaji is just about to says something when he sees dutta walk out of the entrance of the house and towards the car. Walking around the driver side of the black open top jeep dutta opens the door and steps in. madhu and baaji both pleasantly surprised by the calm in duttas posture and behaviour eye one and other. Nakusha following behind approaches the car and baaji throws in one of his ideas.
"Naku tu naa aage bhet jaa bhau ke saath..mein peeche bethta hai!" Naku smiling in response to baajis comment watches baaji step down from the car and hold the door open for her. Nakusha minding her step climbs in and her gaze happens to catch duttas eyes that are watching her. there was no anger on his expression or irritation just a blank expression but that's what was so hard to read. As the eye locks continue madhu nudges baji with her shoulder..making the moment more obvoious and the both smile at the way nakusha and dutta seem to have there moments. Interrupting one of these moments baaji ..speaks with a teasing tone of voice
. "Mere khyal se naku aaram se beth gayi hai ab chale kya bhau???"Dutta breaking away from that daze gives baaji a glare through the central mirror of the car and then starts the engine.
...
Edited by jagrutid - 13 years ago
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Anupamaa
