Posted:
Laughter is the best thing in the world...
Here's a spoof:
Cast: Reporter (who wants the inside dirt on the wedding of the year); Guest (Rishi), who had the misfortune to attend the last one and who promised his friend -- the reporter-- that he would narrate all the goings on; and Rishi's wife Sonya.'
Today, we have a guest calling in from the event of the year...Dutta Patil's wedding. This is ONE wedding you don't want to miss...
Guest: "Correction, sir"...this is a wedding one CANNOT miss. You don't really have a choice...you see the invitation arrive, and your face goes pale...because it is a wedding invite from the Patils. And there is no RSVP card inside...it's your destiny to go...
Reporter: Surely, you are exaggerating...such a fine affair...with the elite from the town...
Guest: "No, sir...I don't know how one could exaggerate the Patil's events. You do remember the last time, don't you?"
Reporter: "You were there?"
Guest: "I was born with this schaap (curse). I don't mean being pretty...but rather, being born into my family in this town."
Reporter: But surely you could have said no.
Guest: With no RSVP, sir, how exactly could I do that?
Reporter <hears something>: What was that?
Guest: Nothing...I am just drinking my second gin and tonic.
Reporter: Hey, I need you sober there...to tell us what's going on!
Guest: Trust me, you don't want to be sober here....
Reporter: I can't imagine you would be at risk....
Guest: No, my life is not at risk per se. Dutta Bhao usually lashes out against Baji Rao, or his sisters, or that wife of his...
Reporter: Oh, right, he's marrying her again.
Guest: Well, yes. Last time was hardly something they want to show and tell their children about. I was there. The chaos. The violence. It was like an action movie in a family setting. First, the bride to be runs away...that's is never a good sign by the way. Dutta Bhao gets drunk--OH GOD!!!!
Reporter: Kya hua?
Guest: There's an open bar here! Oh, God! Don't you SEE, Man? OOOPPPPEEENN BAR! There is alcohol here!
Reporter: So?
Guest: Last time, he got soooo drunk, that he dragged this girl, his wife to be again, and married her! Threatened the poor pandit, poured alcohol into the fire, shot down the chandelier...arre! I told you, AN ACTION MOVIE..........What's taking so long?
Reporter: What do you mean?
Guest: The wedding...le, what kind of question is that? Dutta Bhao's been at the mandap for some time now...no bottle in sight! Bappa ne mera wishes soon liya! Oh, God!
Reporter: Ab kya hua?
Guest: I think it happened again! Oh, my God, let me quickly eat....
Reporter: Thik se bol....
Guest: The bride...she's still not here yet...everyone is looking around. Dutta Bhao is okay so far. Eh, Sonya, jaldi kahle. Lagta hain tophan hoyega...
Reporter: Hey, you promised you would stay for the wedding. You are my friend. You better stay--don't let me down.
Guest: Thik hain...no bride still....Oh God, I am sweating...Sonya, give me a handkerchief, I need to wipe my forehead...
Reporter: Are you okay?
Guest: Yeah...just after last time...you know...deja vu...I think they call is post traumatic sss...something...
Reporter: Tu bilkul drama queen hain.
Guest: Oh, shukriya! Dhanyavaad, thank you, Bhagwan... The bride is here! The bride is here! Everything is fine, now.. <aside> Sonya, araam se, khale...."The bride is at the mandap now.....<pause> she is being seated next to Dutta Bhao. The pandit has started. Ok, the pandit is putting something in their hands...oh, wait...kya hua?
I don't know, but Dutta Bhao is looking at the bride's hand or arm...oh, no....oh no...gussa...the look in his eyes. Look, Sonya, look! <pause> huh, what is she doing?
Reporter: What's going on there?
Guest: I don't know, but Kala Tai is approaching the mandap...daal mein kuch kala hain...for sure, Sonya.
Sonya: You are just being paranoid, again.
Guest: No, I'm not. Arre, that's not the same girl! That's not the girl from last time!
Sonya: Bhakwaas...aj kal, the makeup ladies are very good....they can do magic!
Guest: Sonya, I'm telling you...go take a look!
Sonya: Thik hain, thik hain....after last time, you've become so strange.
Sonya comes back....
Sonya: <with a weird look on her face> That's not makeup. That's real. Who is she then?
Guest: Chalo, party over....ghar ja raha hain.
Reporter: NO, you aren't! You promised!
Guest: Don't you know what is going to happen? That chandelier will come down, I tell you! And with my bad luck, it'll be right on top of my head...or the bullet...<pause> Pata nahi. He's pulling the bride up...oh no, oh no!
Sonya: Oh no! Again!
Guest <feels overwhelmed>: I'm not feeling so good right now. The pandit...even the pandit has moved away...the Bodyguards, they're approaching...OH, THE WORLD IS CLOSING IN ON ME! I ...I....feel....not there....faint. <THUD! drops to ground>
Sonya: Rishi! Rishi! Oh, my God! Help! Somebody help! Doctor hain?
Reporter: Dammit! That guy, I should never have trusted him. Hopefully, his cell phone stays on....
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Bindi
