Originally posted by: Dancingdoll
Anu, You have pointed out that one aspect in Fridays episode that stood out for me - When Naku was clear that the "right" thing to do is to confess to Dutta then why do we have Bappa's interference? And if we do, then why blame him, if he has spoken his decision? I too was muffed momentarily but then I got to thinking and I realized I have been no less than Naku in many situations and hence, I totally understood her behaviour....This all stems to a weakness or a belief inside us....Let me explain .....
I firmly believe that we have a value system that has developed over a period of time by our experiences, our parents/professor's teachings or other media/friends input. This value system becomes our reference to all our decisions and eventually actions. Naku's value system tells her that hiding a truth/secret or any aspect about "her" from Dutta is wrong! We also dont have two ways about why it is wrong - they both are one now, have a strong bond between each other and are in a relationship, where secrets are not pardonable and transparency is MUST! Naku knows this and yet, she has kept quiet! We all agree that the day she came out of Anna's den and didnt speak the truth, she entered the betrayal zone, the beauty is that even Naku knows that. She knows she is betraying the man, she loves, who has opened her heart and mind in front of her and who ensured that she knew the darkest of the secrets about him! So, she is feeling guilty and hence, many a times, she has been aggitated.This was the reason, she couldnt accept his proposal and this was the reason shetried going and telling him the truth! Now, Coming to the time when she came out of Anna's den, yes there was ample opportunity to reveal her self to Dutta, but she was clueless about his love then, or his intentions to carry forward this relationship. Did he not give any hints? Yes he did, which were anything but subtle, but if you wear Naku's shoes, the journey that these two have gone thru', friendship, then hatred, then resentment and finally a little flicker of trust showing on the surface after the temple/jungle incident, makes her NOT think that Dutta can ever fall in love with HER!...Yes, he did come to rescue her, but for her that was a Husband and DSP performing his respective duties because, "Saheb bahut achche hain"....So, Anything he did for her, she always attributed to Dutta, the man that he was, not his love! Hence, all the not-so-subtle hints by Dutta only made her ground more firm that "Saab bahut achche hain" and HER love grew stronger!! Dutta's love never came in HERlimited picture!!....But then things changed, one fine day he prposed the clueless Naku, and gave her the shock!!....Naku and Love could exist in same sentence for Dutta, this shocked her! Her world, her dreams and never spoken desires were in front of her but then her value system surfaced, Naku couldnt go and envelop her happiness because she had not yet spoken the truth!!...Now, the question was, should she? A woman who has lived this lies since her childhood (???) which has become part of her and her existence, it wasnt easy to one fine day, wash off the soot and start living a "different" life! We do agree that her life would be different - right? Not only would she see a different Naku in the mirror, but people's reactions, good or bad.would suddenly change towards her!!...It wasnt easy.....Plus the most important factor cropped in, "If I reveal the truth, I dont care about others, but what impact would it have on Dutta, who hates beauty"....When she goes to talk-it-out with him after the proposal, he yet again talks about "her not being beautiful, and hence she being idle for him"....That would again discourage any gal to reveal her truth!!.....The dilemma only increased and she runs away!....On one end is her value system that shouts, speak the truth bcoz you are gng deeper and deeper in the betrayal zone, with every passing second.....and on the other, her heart/love tells her, please defer the pain that you would induce in Dutta, a man whom you have only seen in pain from Day 1. He has found his real happiness and genuine smile back after years, how can you have a heart to snatch it back!!!.....She weighs the two aspects and her dilemma only grows!!!.....Thats when a third brain like CP's helped her realize that she should listen to her value system and speak the truth because its not just about her perspective but also about Dutta's love....Now, she need to learn to count Dutta's love in the mix and trust that genuine love too....Trust that love for the faith and understanding that has also grown with her!!....She determines that the right way in love is to be honest and no matter what the result is, she has to see the bigger picture and reveal her truth....Momentary happiness and smile on dutta's face cannot decide his whole future....He has to face it, she has to face it and then support him or accept his decision!!....She decides to fight the guilt but yet again fate/Baaji interludes...He stops her because Dutta has just been brutually dented by Kala's episode....She fight Baaji on his reasoning but she too realizes that Dutta has just been hurt, his wounds are still raw, it wouldnt be a right time to reveal a second truth that would further inflict his wound deeper and might turn into permanent scar!!....The dilemma rose again producing guilt with it, but the heart won - Dont have a heart to injure Dutta again!...So, what was the decision - Let him heal, get over Kala's episode and then the second truth can be revealed!!...Now, Do I agree with Baaji and Naku - Not really because, I guess I give him more creditthan they do. I dont say he would not be shocked and pained but he is better equipped with fighting mechanism then they think he is. I have faith in Dutta that the wound will not become a scar and he would heal his wound beyond recognition with right support and his understanding of love!....And I know that firmly in my mind, but Baaji and Naku know that subconsciously and hence their guilt keeps surging time and again!....If they were so sure of their decision, then why would theu feel guilty!!...So, they also know Dutta in and out but given their own weakness, they have put it on a back burner!!
This brings us to her confrontation with Bappa yesterday!!....So, Now, Naku is fighting with her dilemma, she is fighting between right and her heart!!... And in face of dilemma, she turns to one person who has always helped her, on whom her trust was unshakeable!!....Bappa!!....She knows what's right but her heart stops her....and hence, she turns to Bappa...Give me one direction and then I wouldnt listen to the other side of dilemma....She knows that God has to be on the side of right and truth....She knows ideally what side whould her weighing machine incline - towards the side of being right - telling Dutta the truth, because in the bigger picture of spending her life with him, the truth wuld go a long way....the momentary happiness wouldnt...but she desnt have the heart to make the decision....This has happened with me many times, I know whats right in a situation, I know in the core of my heart, that what is the ideal thing to do, but I am not able to take that one step becasue of many heavy constraints....and that is when I turn to my confidante!...Its just a way of securing my beliefs and thoughts! But mind you....I already know whats right..I already have an inclination towards one side of the weighing machine...but I want a confirmation....I want to hear the same thoughts and words that my subconscious mind has decided but from a different mouth!....Exactly what Naku wanted! She knew what she wanted to do, she knew what was right, she knew that Bappa would just put a stamp on her subconscious decision and hence she turns to Bappa NOT TO MAKE A DECISION but to STAMP HER already made decision in her subconscious, that would help her get rid of the guilt - Reveal self to Dutta!!......She wanted him to speak the same tune that she was singing....This way she would have Bappa's blessings too, she would have calmed the storm surging in her and gone forward with determination to accept any consequences, because she was right and Bappa had just confirmed it....But Alas! Bappa gives a diff indication (ofcourse Baaji interfered)....Now, that shocked Naku, bcoz that was not as per her expectations....Her whole world, expectations and decisions trumbles down!!....Asking Bappa was a mere formality to get his approval too and give her desired confidence, it was not an attempt to make her decideon next course of action, bcoz that she had already decided.....but With Bappa's "decision", she was taken by surprise....Suddenly, she had to undo all the work she had done in her mind to prepare herself for this much awaited revelation....Bappa was telling her not to reveal!.....So, now what's Naku's state of mind, she still knows that the right is to reveal but somehow, for reason unknown to her, Bappa says No!!....She is back to where she started - Dilemma!!.....Her value system doesnt approve of this decision and hence, she had to fight with god....When we perform our duties as per our value system and the results do not match our efforts, it does make us aggitated....and if we have faith in god that no matter what happens, it is good for me, the unexpected result takes us by jolt but the residingfaith gets us around eventually and we get over it...Right now, Naku's faith has been shaken because her decision and Bappa's decision didnt match....Bappa's decision threw her back to the betrayal zone, which is making her clausterphobic, which is not making her give her 100% to her love....How can someone live with the nagging lies always on top of their shoulder!!....So, she is angry with Bappa, but her unshakeablefaith still exists....that he can never be wrong....We cannot see the future but god can, and this belief in him, always makes us bend to his wishes whetehr we like it or not....so, Naku is angry, that the decison is wrong but she still has to agree because of her embedded belief in Bappa!....If he is God, he could have let the truth and love prevaile, but he didnt andthat makes her more angry!!....Revealing truth is right, then why dont u make the future right? how would I live like this....you are kartaa dharta, then make things right, remove my obstracles because u r vidhi vinaayak....but u didnt do tht for me....so, I am angry with my friend who didnt listen to me,....But NAKU WOULD come around....she knows that she cannot see what he can!!....Its a momentary anger.....
But seriously, we know Baaji corrputed the decision and hence, I am confident Bappa will find a new way of communicating with Naku!!
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