Mausam
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diyeh
Jitne bhi mausam diyeh, saab naam diyeh.
Jaab tarapta hai khabi, aapna koi
Khun ke asoon, rulade bebasi
Jee ke phir kaarna kya, mujhko aaisi zindagi
Jisne zakhmoon ko nahin marham diyeh
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diyeh
Jitne bhi mausam diyeh, saab naam diyeh
Aapne bhi pesh aaye, humse ajnaabi
Waqt ki sazish, koi samja nahin
Be irada kuch khataien humse hogayi
Rah mein pathar meri har dum diyeh
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diyeh
Jitne bhi mausam diyeh, saab naam diyeh
Ek mukammal kash-ma-kash hai zindagi
Ussne hume ki khabi naa dosti
Jaab milli mujhko asoon ki woh taufe degayi
Haasn sake aaise mauke kaam diyeh
Zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diyeh
Jitne bhi mausam diyeh, saab naam diyeh
Encino, Ca. – Nancy's Residence 9:30am (next morning)
She could feel the glass slashing her cheek, she could feel the pebbles poking at the delicate skin on the soles of her feet, she could feel the coldness of the concrete pavement under herself; she could hear herself screaming at Ravi to stop, she could hear the sounds of glass shattering, she could hear the car horns honking, she could hear the waves crashing onto the beach; she could hear a voice calling out to her in concern and love…she could hear Dutta.
Nakusha woke up with a start in a cold sweat, nearly gasping for air. After a second she realized that it was all a dream, no…it was a nightmare. She looked around trying to orient herself but found that the more she saw, the more disoriented she became. Trying to figure out where she was, why she was there and what happened last night was making her mind spin. It wasn't until she finally saw Nancy come out of the bathroom, drying her hair that it hit Nakusha about where she was…in Nancy's studio apartment.
"Hey you, how are you feeling?" Nancy asked as she took a seat next to Nakusha on the bed.
"Umm…I don't know. I have a head ache and I am sore all over." Nakusha looked down at herself and saw that she was in a white and pink knee length night-tee from Victoria's Secret; she was covered from the thighs down by a blue blanket. Nakusha began fixing her messed up hair, "Nancy, how did I end up here?" she asked. Nancy remained silent. "What's up? Why are your so quite? In all the years that I have known y…" Nakusha's sentence died half way out as she let out a small gasp; her fingers had come in contact with the half fresh wound on her cheek.
Nancy looked up at Nakusha the second that she had stopped talking and gasped. When her eyes met with Nakusha's eyes she could already see the fear in them. Nakusha ran her fingers delicately across the length of the cut on her cheek, feeling the inflammation and dry blood around it. Her mouth formed the shape of an 'O', which she tried to cover with a trembling hand.
The look in Nakusha's eyes told Nancy what she was thinking; realization finally dawned on Nakusha about what had happened last night between her and Ravi. Tears came to here eyes, ready to fall at any second. She pulled her knees up to her chest and held them together with her arms; her body rocked back and forth almost at its own will.
The scenes from last night played in Nakusha's mind like a Technicolor movie, complete with sound and effects; it all came rushing back with the speed of a freight train. She remembered coming home to a dark house, she remembered Ravi throwing the glass liquor bottle at her and the bottle shattering and cutting her cheek, she remembered her screams and protests as she pleaded with Ravi to let her go, she remembered Ravi tearing at her clothes, biting and scratching her as he forced himself on her, she remembered lying on the floor of her living room, barely dressed, as Ravi stood up, zipped his pants, took his keys and slammed the door as he left; but that was all she remembered…it was more then enough as far as she was concerned.
Nancy was at Nakusha's side in a second after she had heard her gasp. Nancy took Nakusha's rocking body into her arms and just hugged her. Nakusha fell into Nancy comforting arms, after a while, and let her tears fall, there was no holding them back. Nancy could do nothing but try and sooth her by holding her and stroking her hair.
"Shh…it's going to be ok," Nancy whispered after some time.
"Why me? Why do these things keep happening to me? Why does he hate me so much? What did I ever do to him?" All Nakusha could do was ask these questions over and over again as she wept in Nancy's arms.
After some time Nakusha's heart wrenching sobs and died down to sniffles, and she pulled away from Nancy. Nakusha glanced at the time and saw that both she and Nancy should have been at work nearly an hour ago.
"Oh my God! We have to get to work!" Nakusha said as she attempted to pull back the covers and get out of bed.
"Hell no we don't! Have you seen yourself? You cannot go into work like this," Nancy yelled back, causing Nakusha to stop herself. "Besides, I already called Mr. Randal and told him that neither of us would be in due to an emergency, which I couldn't specify."
"You must really be worried about me, you just called Mr. Randal, 'Mr. Randal' and not 'Mr. Stick Up His Ass'" Nakusha said.
"Well…" Nancy didn't really have an answer because Nakusha was right. In all the years she worked for Mr. Randal, she had always referred to him as Mr. SUHA.
This was just the kind of thing that Nakusha needed to take her mind off of the Ravi situation. The girls looked at each other and fell into a fit of laughter as they remembered the annoying boss. They laughed for a while, but soon the laughter subsided and each girl was left catching her breath. They both ended up with smiles on their faces, but that didn't last long. Nakusha's eyes soon filled with tears once again and she began sobbing, and Nancy took Nakusha into her arms as held her; it was all she could do, although she wished to do more…much more.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hollywood CA. Angels Hotel – (same time frame)
The night that Dutta thought was never going to pass, had finally passed and the new day was christened with the sun's rays illuminating the world. What seemed like countless hours had passed since Dutta had left his Nasha with Nancy and driven himself back to the hotel. Dutta slowly looked around the room and noticed just what kind of havoc he had created. After his encounter with Nakusha at the beach, and after hearing the revelations that Nancy had made to him, Dutta could take it no longer.
Dutta had been seething with anger while he was driving home; if he had the power he would have punched his steering wheel right through to the engine. When he finally reached the hotel he nearly ran up the stairs because he didn't have the patience to wait for the elevator. He had barely heard the hotel staff greet him as he brushed past each and every person. He whipped out his hotel key-card and opened his door, and not a moment too soon; as soon as he was inside he closed the door with force and bolted it shut.
For a minute or two Dutta just paced back and forth in his room; his breathing was getting more and more ragged as the seconds passed and the nights events really seeped into his body. He let out a frustrated groan and wanted to pull his hair out because there was nothing he could do to help Nakusha until she asked for it. Not knowing what to do, and in need to venting his anger Dutta grabbed the first thing that came within his reach…a crystal vase. Taking the vase he hurled it at the wall against which it shattered. That was it, that one action started him on his rampage. He had pulled off the bed sheets, thrown the flowers and vases all over the room, event the furniture was a mess. Nothing in the room was in its place like it was when he entered the room, nothing…except for him.
After his rampage Dutta fell dejectedly into an arm chair near the window; that is exactly where he still was this morning. There were a few differences, like his clothes being wrinkled, the sun was now out, there were empty liquor bottles resting on the table in front of him. However, there was one small difference that even he hadn't noticed, that difference…trails of dry tears on his face, tears he didn't know he had shed in the night.
Dutta had spent the entire night going in and out of a restless sleep. He couldn't sleep for the most part because his mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Nakusha and what he had witnessed, but some how sleep had found him. Every time he went into even the lightest sleep, he was awoken by horrible dreams of Nakusha yelling out the window of a car driven by Ravi, calling out to Dutta to save, but as hard as he tired and as fast as he ran, he never reached her. It was so infuriating and frustrating that he wanted to pull his hair out!
He sat in the same chair, in the same position all night long; he didn't know what else to do. Now it was time to begin the new day, a new beginning, a fresh start; only problem was…he didn't know how - how was he supposed to put last night behind him?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Encino, Ca. – Nancy's Residence 12:00pm
"Yes, I will, don't worry. Yes, yes; if Nakusha needs anything I will call you first," Nancy spoke into the phone, as she heard the bathroom door creak behind her, "Ok, now I have to go, she is out. Bye." She had managed to cut the call before Nakusha heard any of the conversation.
"Who was that?" Nakusha asked as she used a towel to dry her wet face.
"No one, just some stupid telemarketer; they were trying to sell me a subscription to the Los Angeles Times."
"Oh I hate when they call!" Nakusha said.
"Yeah, well…Hey, I was thinking why don't you grab something from my closet and head on in to take a shower. Since I am already done, you might as well get it done too. As soon as you are out we can order in some Thai delivery and eat, ok?" Nancy offered.
"Ok," Nakusha agreed with little enthusiasm.
Nakusha headed off into the bathroom a minute later after she had picked out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from Nancy's closet. As soon as the door closed and locked, Nancy let out a breath of relief. Nancy knew that Nakusha hadn't heard her phone conversation, but she still thought that she may have in the back of her mind. Nancy had been talking to Dutta about Nakusha. He had called numerous times since Nakusha woke up. It took a while for Nancy to calm Nakusha down and get her to relax. There was no way that Nancy could talk to Dutta with Nakusha in the same room.
As soon as Nakusha got up to go to the bathroom, Nancy snatched up her phone and called Dutta. Nancy got an ear-full from Dutta about how inconsiderate, irresponsible, and selfish she was being by not answering. Nancy had to bite her tongue to keep from yelling back at him. She understood what he was going through after last night; anyone would be worried about a person they found in Nakusha's state, and he wasn't just anyone, he was the man that loved her.
Nancy gave him and update on Nakusha's condition, how she had been during the night, her reaction this morning when she remembered what had happened. From the tone of Dutta's voice she could tell he was half relieved and half disappointed that she didn't remember it was he who had rescued her. Lastly, Nancy told him that she and Nakusha would not be going to work for the next two days. She knew that Dutta wanted to see Nakusha, and the hotel was the only way for him to do that, but right now they had to consider only what Nakusha wanted, and unfortunately she didn't want to see Dutta.
Right now Nancy couldn't be thinking about Dutta and Nakusha's bitter sweet love story, she had something to do. Nancy picked up her cell phone and dialed a number and prayed that it was answered. When she heard 'Hello' on the other end of the line, she let out a silent prayer.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angels Hotel CA. - 10:00am (two days later)
Dutta was going out of his mind waiting to get a glimpse of Nakusha; he knew that Nancy and Nakusha had returned to work that morning. Their shift had started over three hours ago and still he had no sight of Nakusha, hell, he was so frustrated, he would take a glimpse of Nancy at this point. He was pacing back and forth in the main lobby waiting to see someone. He knew that Nancy and Nakusha rotated desk duty with a middle-aged man who also worked at the hotel. Dutta glanced at his watch in frustration once again waiting for the change, because he knew that either Nakusha or Nancy would be covering next. He watched as the door to the office behind the front desk opened and a female figure stepped out…it was Nancy.
It wasn't who he had hoped it would be, but at this point…beggars couldn't be choosers. As soon as the other man left and the other staff members began their work, Dutta made is way towards the desk, trying to be as casual and nonchalant as possible.
"So?" he said.
"So?" replied Nancy, who was busy working.
"Don't mock me! You know what I want!" Dutta nearly yelled.
"Yes Mr. Patil I do know what you want and I have already helped you in your quest. I told you this morning before coming in that she was fine, as well as can be expected," Nancy said, not once looking up from the screen she was staring at.
Dutta calmed down and blushed like a little kid being scolded by his mother. "So…no change?" he dared to ask.
"Oh yes there has been. Nakusha is now on the way to dye her hair pink, get her lip and eyebrow pierced, get a tattoo saying 'Die Ravi Die' on her back and she is thinking about joining a convent," Nancy replied.
"What?! Really?" Dutta asked as he became highly confused.
"Oh God, no! Not really!" Nancy yelled, almost wanting to bang her head into the wall, "I was being sarcastic!"
"Oh, so…no change?" he asked again.
"In the past three hours or so, no, no change at all."
A moment of silence passed between them before Dutta spoke again, "Where is the bas***d?" he asked, his anger rising just at the thought of that man.
"Passed out drunk in some cheap motel in Vegas."
"Vegas?" Dutta questioned, not sure what Nancy was talking about.
"Yes, gambling capitol of the world, Las Vegas."
"Oh," he said, "How do you know that? How can you be sure that he isn't here in Los Angeles, looking for her right now?"
"Because I just am," Nancy said, still typing away on her keyboard, not once looking up to meet Dutta's eyes.
"But how?!" Dutta asked, he couldn't fathom how Nancy could be so sure that Ravi was hundreds of miles away, and not in this very hotel waiting for Nakusha in some vacant room.
Nancy took a deep breath before answering Dutta's question. "Relax; you don't have to worry about Ravi, not now any way."
"But…" Dutta question died half way out as Nancy cut him off.
"My brother, Marco, works for the LAPD. I asked him for a favor. I told him about what had happened and he was able to trace Ravi's car to a motel in Vegas away from the main strip. As of twenty minutes ago, the car is still parked in the parking lot of the motel."
"How did your brother…I mean, how did he manage…" Dutta couldn't seem to put his thoughts together at the moment.
"He has a couple of buddies on the squad, so they helped. It's like a brother hood, so when my brother needed help, they all joined in. One of his fellow police officers knows someone on the Vegas PD, so they have been keeping him informed," Nancy explained.
Dutta let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Then…" Again, Dutta's sentence was cut off, but not because of Nancy, this time it was Nakusha. He saw her coming out of the far hall, near the staff lounge. She was buttoning up her coat and was holding on to her purse. Dutta quickly moved to the end of the desk, turned his back to Nakusha, and grabbed a newspaper and looked like he was reading it. When Nakusha and Nancy began talking, Dutta was thankful that was within ear-shot.
"I'm not feeling up for it today Nancy, I already talked to Mr. Randal and have taken the rest of the day off."
"Are you ok?" asked Nancy, her voice laced with concern and worry, "Wait for a minute, I'll come take the day off too and come with you."
"No, no you don't have to do that." Nakusha insisted, "I…I actually needed some time to myself, so I'm going over down to Reseda."
"Oh, ok." Once Nancy heard where Nakusha was going, she relaxed a bit. "Now look, I don't want you going to your house after that, come here or go to my place."
"But…" Nakusha protested.
"No 'buts'. Chose one of the two, or else I'm not letting you go at all."
"Ok, fine, I'll go to your place."
"Good, you do have the key right?" Nancy asked.
"Yes"
"Ok, be safe. Call me if you need anything."
"I will thanks."
With that, Dutta and Nancy watched Nakusha walk away towards the main entrance.
As soon as Nakusha was away from them, Dutta approached the desk and Nancy again.
"Where is she going?! How can you let her go off by herself like this?!" Dutta was on the verge of yelling, he didn't know how much more he could take.
"She is just going to see her parents."
"Oh," Dutta said, "Do they know about Ravi, maybe they can talk some sense into her so she will finally get the help she needs."
Nancy finally looked up at him from her work, "She is going to Woodland Care Center in the city of Reseda, it's a nursing home; her parents are quadriplegics, they are patients at that facility."
Dutta stood rooted on the spot; Nakusha's parents were in a nursing home and both were quadriplegics. Dear Lord, how much had she been through in these past four years? He didn't know what to say or what to do.
"What is the address?"
"I'm sorry I don't know. Nakusha never talks about them much and I have never been there myself."
"Damn it!" Dutta cursed his fate.
"She is going to take a taxi, if you hurry up, you can probably follow her," Nancy said. "Oh and next time you want to be all nonchalant and pretend like you are reading the paper, make sure it isn't upside down…it will give you away."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Woodland Care Center – 1:20pm
Nearly an hour later Dutta pulled into the parking lot of Woodland Care Center, just a few cars behind the taxi that had Nakusha in it. When Dutta had gotten a car from the hotel, he had been afraid that he was going to lose the taxi, but luckily that didn't happen. This had to be the one and only time that he thanked God for the traffic on the 101 freeway; the bumper to bumper jam at all times of the day/night used to piss him off to no extent, but now, it had made keeping a close eye on the taxi a piece of cake. Due to the traffic on the freeway, the drive that should have only taken 15 minutes, took one hour.
Dutta gave his car for the valet to park as he watched Nakusha go in; he didn't want her to see him, so he kept his distance. Nakusha went in and disappeared before Dutta could even get to the entrance. He walked up to the front desk hoping that they would help, even though he had no idea what the patient's names were.
"Good afternoon, I'm here with the girl…" for the third time that day, Dutta was cut off by someone.
"Oh, you must be here with the Maan family. They are the only Indian family in our facility." Dutta was greeted by a peppy and happy looking receptionist, who couldn't be a day over 18.
"Yes, yes, the Maan family. What room would that be?" he asked.
"Mr. and Mrs. Maan are in room 319; just go straight down the hall, make a right, and it's just past the third nurse's station. I think their daughter just got here as well, maybe you will run into her."
"Not if I can help it," Dutta whispered. "Thank you," he said to the receptionist, who flashed him a cheeky smile.
Dutta walked down the corridor and noticed that all the residents there were in their late 70's at least, it sent a shudder down his spine to think that Nakusha's parents were in a facility like this, at their age. Dutta had passed the nurses station and kept a watch out for room 319. When he finally came to it, he slowly crept up and saw Nakusha.
Nakusha was bent over her father's bed, as she kissed him on his forehead and greeted him; she then did the same with her mother. She found a chair and sat between the beds, one hand on each parent's hand. For a long while, she was quite, but then she spoke…her voice cracked and shaking.
"I don't know what to do; I am so lost without you guys, I need you. Where are you, Mamma, Papa…I really need you, now more then ever."
Dutta saw the tears spill over, and it was at that moment that Nakusha shot to her feet and nearly bolted out the room nearly running into him, but not noticing him at all. Dutta hastily followed her out towards the main entrance. He found her sitting on the little wooden bench right outside of the door. Her elbows rested on her knees, and her face hidden in her hands as she wept. Dutta couldn't hold back any more, he had seen her in pain since the night he had come back to L.A., enough was enough.
Dutta went and sat silently next to her in the empty spot. "Nasha" he called out to her, as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
Nakusha whipped her face toward him, and stared at the man in front of her. As realization hit her as to who he was, her eyes once again filled with tears as she threw herself to him and clung to him, whispering his name as he held her.
"Why Dutta, why did it happen? They were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary, and then some drunk driver…the accident…the phone call. Why me Dutta, why does God hate me so much to give me so much pain? Why, why, why?" Nakusha asked, as if Dutta had all the answers.
Dutta held onto Nakusha silently, stroked her hair and just let her weep. The circumstances were horrid, but having her in his arms felt right; he finally felt like he was doing something for his Nasha.
"All you have to do is ask Nasha. Just tell me once about your pain, and watch how fast I take you away from ALL of it. Just once, just ask me once," Dutta said, in a near whisper.
Just as suddenly as Nakusha had thrown herself onto him, she had pulled back. "I…I'm sorry…I…" Nakusha tried to talk as she wiped her tears and tried to compose herself. "I shouldn't have done that."
"Nasha, what happened…?"
As if finally realizing where they were she spoke again, "You shouldn't be here Dutta? Why did you come here?"
"I saw you leaving the hotel upset, I just wanted to make sure you were ok."
"So you followed me to Reseda."
"Yes"
"Why?"
"I can't see you in pain Nasha. I won't see you in pain. I lo…"
"Don't say it, just don't say it Dutta."
"Not saying it won't make it go away, and it won't change the fact that I do either."
"It has to…it just has to. I'm married Dutta."
Dutta's blood boiled at the thought that she had to gall to boast about that jerk in front of him.
"He is a son-of-a-bi…"
"No Dutta, stop," Nakusha ordered.
"Nakusha how can I stop? You and me, we go back…we…" Dutta tried to reason, as Nakusha stood up to leave.
"That is the past Dutta; you have to forget the past. You have to forget the pier, you have to forget that night, you have to forget the memories…you have to forget…ME," Nakusha whispered.
Dutta was stupefied as he stood there like a statue. He watched as Nakusha got into the waiting taxi and soon drove off.
He didn't know what hurt him the most, the fact that his Nasha had just told him to forget the one thing that meant the world to him, or the fact that she actually thought that he could ever let her go…how could she even imagine that he could forget her…how could she imagine that he could forget his Nasha.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tu Yaad Naa Aaye…
Tujhe bhool jaana, jana mumkin nahin
Tu yaad naa aaye aaisa koi din nahin
Tera jaadu aaisa chaaya
Haar zarein mein, tujhko paaya
Chahe mahol ho shoor-o-gul ka
Chahe ho veerana alam
Haar pal hai maujudgi teri
Haar mausam hai tera mausam
Tujhe bhool jaana, jana mumkin nahin
Tu yaad naa aaye aaisa koi din nahin
Main karta hoon, lakh bahane
Par bin tere, dil naa mane.
Jitna tujhko main bhulna chahoon
Utna hi tujhe paas main paoon
Tu naa jaane, oh mehbooba
Main tere ishq mein kitna dooba
Tujhe bhool jaana, jana mumkin nahin
Tu yaad naa aaye aaisa koi din nahin
…Tu yaad naa aaye, aaisa koi din nahin…
JAZ
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
