KUMKUM BHAGYA: Different Types of Love

Before I get to the heart of my post - I should note - I just went through something. And as always when I go through something I always compare it in my head to Kumkum Bhagya, because I'm a crazy fangirl and that is how I deal.

And since life imitates art...story time:

I met a guy over the weekend. My friend and her fiance had their engagement party and it was a fun time. The night started off innocently enough. I was accompanied to said party with four of my other good friends. Each of them ended up scattering away from me during the course of the evening: bathroom, went off to find food, saw an acquaintance, etc - in which point, for a short while - I had found myself alone.

That is when it happened. He came out of nowhere and I was blindsided. At first I thought that I knew him, because he looked sort of familiar, but as he started talking to me and the conversation went on I realized that I didn't. I didn't want to seem rude, so I went with it. The conversation went on for 10 minutes (at the most). One of my girlfriend's finally came back and stood off to the side, waiting for me to breakaway - and so I graciously tried to end the conversation and run off to my friend.

Now the thing is - the conversation being had wasn't anything moving. We talked about the recently engaged couple, how happy we were for the both of them, how we knew them, the weather, etc. It was your normal run-of-the mill everyday kind of pleasantries. It didn't warrant a sudden proclamation of undying love...

Yes, because that is what happened. 10 minutes after meeting this complete stranger - he proposes and tells me he loves me...and all I could do was stand there like an idiot - because it was like someone had severed the cord to my brain and my body just froze. I was dumbstruck. At first, I thought - he must be joking...but he wasn't. The worst part was that he stood there expecting me to say it back.

I did not say it back. I didn't know him. And anyone who knows me knows how sensitive the use of the L-word is for me. I feel very strongly about how, when, and where those words should be said.

I am not a rude person, so I didn't rebuff him and out right reject him. Instead I continued on with the conversation, because I was curious - not about him, but about his mindset. Like most of you already know, I enjoy dissecting people's minds. I'm fascinated with what makes people think and act the way that they do - so I very carefully asked him: why?

Why do you love me?

That threw him for a loop. He seemed uncomfortable with the question, but he managed to answer with: because I just do. I don't know what the hell that was supposed to mean - and I told him that, albeit more politely, but you get my drift.

Anyways, he asks me if I believe in love at first sight...

Oh man.

Look. Never, ever tell someone you love them - if at first you don't understand them.

I hate, absolutely HATE the whole "Love At First Sight" trope. It is my biggest pet peeve. I rip-apart books that showcase it, I anti-ship the couples in film and television that are predicated on it - I do not believe in the concept of Love At First Sight (unless in stories reincarnation is cosmically tied into it), because love at first sight is a myth. It's pretty in theory, but it does not exist. Love, in my opinion, is a feeling that builds over time. It's not instantaneous. It feeds on time in order to flourish.

I explained how I felt on the matter. He then tried to use Romeo and Juliet as an example to support his cause.

Mistake number three.

Look, Shakespeare and I are BFF's alright. At least we are in my head. I adore Shakespeare. I love his work. I was one of the nerds that poured over his stuff and read ahead when we did assignments in class. The man is one of my favorite authors. He writes tragedies; something of which people tend to forget when it comes to Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare was not a romance author. Romeo and Juliet is NOT an eternal love story. I do not know where this warped idea came from, but it's wrong! What Romeo and Juliet is, is a story used to explain the dangers of lust and the confusion that falling in lust can cause. Lust kills. True fact. Just ask Romeo and Juliet...oh wait, you can't - because they're dead.

Anyways, he ran away from me after that. I guess his love wasn't as strong as he claimed it to be if he couldn't handle some healthy conversation.

I explained what happened to my cousin later that night and we both had a good chat over it.

But the event left me thinking, there are so many people who get into relationships for all the wrong reasons, because everyone thinks and views love differently. There is no set definition for love. There is no right or wrong way to love someone. But what there is are healthy and toxic relationships. What there is, are different types of love.

Hence this post.

I've watched a lot of Indian serials. I watch a lot of soaps on ZEE. But Kumkum Bhagya is a rarity among all of the soaps that I've watched, because of its buildup and use of storytelling. I'm a fan of how Kumkum Bhagya has tackled love, the different types of love, and how love can change a person for the better as well as the worst.

What I appreciate about this show is its pacing. Some might see it as dragging - I see it as development. The show has created an interesting relationship between the quality of time (as shown through its use of dragging) and love. Love is all about timing. Relationships are built by God, time, and by our ability to choose - by choice. You could be in a relationship for 7 years and feel NOTHING; you could be in a relationship for 7 months and feel EVERYTHING - but without pure love, the quality of that time is meaningless.

Love, Fate and Destiny are all words that were thrown around quite a bit during the earlier days of this show. Those words carry a lot of weight, and yet our central characters initially made light of them: refusing to believe in them, mocking them - completely disregarding them.

Bhagya tried to help them out, but most times than not Rakaash, Rabul and Abhigya were a strong force to take on - even for Bhagya. They fought against Bhagya, but the thing is - sometimes we as individuals cannot control who ends up with whom (as we've seen Taaliyah have tried to do). Sometimes Bhagya just needs to play its hand out in order to gently push us in the right direction.

Kumkum Bhagya isn't your typical soap where the guy sees the girl from across the street: her hair is blowing all nicely in the wind; her duputta flies to him and covers his face and it's all angels' singing telling him he's in love. Kumkum Bhagya is different among the rest because it took its time in developing relationships. Its core relationships weren't built on the Love At First Sight trope. Instead, relationships were established through gradual understanding. They may have started with misunderstanding, but sometimes without misunderstanding, there might not have been no understanding at all.

So let's take a deeper look at the different relationships that have helped define the show - that of which either demonstrate everything wrong with relationships and why you should avoid it and/or how to recognize healthy love once you've found it.

God Made The Broken Road That Led Me Straight To You...