Part 8
I hated him touching me because I was craving for more of that.
"What WAS that?", Abhishek threw his hands.
"I have told you to not take physical liberties with me. This is a fake marriage. You have no rights to touch me", I wasn't even sure if I put my words out the way I wanted.
"Me touching you? You are not gonna file a case against me for some sexual assault, are you? You were looking at the sky for the past 10 minutes as if someone is dead. I thought I will give you some adrenaline rush instead. And if you don't like it, fine, I am not even talking to you from now on", Abhishek just stormed out of the balcony.
I wanted to run behind him and tell him he got it totally wrong. I wanted to tell him I did not mean just this one moment at the balcony but the whole of today, that dance and many previous moments. But I knew he would have one or the other argument to prove me wrong. I was relieved too that my purpose was served. If he doesn't talk to me, fine, no touches, no proximities and no feelings. And I had nothing to prove to him anyway.
Two days later, I was feeling worse than ever.
Forget about touching, he literally hadn't acknowledged my presence in his room.
I was okay for a little bit, but, when he didn't pick up fights in the mornings, when he didn't even greet me in his annoying ways after he got home, when he didn't take a dig at me or my things for a length of 48 hours, when he didn't eat anything I cooked, I was not okay at all.
But that was not what made me feel the worst. That evening I heard Daadi asking him to bring me down from the room for prashaad. I was about to get down the stairs but ran inside the room so that he would at least talk to me and end this silence treatment. He did come upstairs to say, "Pragya, Daadi wants you to come down and get prashaad".
Pragya! I didn't like the sound of my own name from his mouth, so cold and so emotionless. Where was Chashmish?
His intimacy was bothering me but his indifference was killing me.
But that morning I kept on telling myself a numerous times that my equation with Abhishek was futile and it shouldn't matter to my life. I dictated to myself that my focus should be arranging my mother's radiotherapy at the new hospital and not worry about someone not talking to me.
Later that day, I was at work when I received a call from my mother. She told me that her appointments at the new hospital had been scheduled and she needed to go see the doctor that day itself. She had just received the letters for the same and also a phone call to confirm her appointments.
I was surprised since I was yet to meet with the doctor at his new hospital to obtain appointments. I couldn't believe this was possible. I took half a day off at work and went to my mother's house to accompany her to the hospital.
I realized the matters as soon as we met the hospital receptionist.
I was the rockstar's wife and my mother was his mother in law. And we were treated special to say the least.
The doctor apologized to us for having to go through the trouble of cancelled appointments and delayed therapy sessions. He set up the initial counseling for my mother right away and had the whole 6-week therapy planned for her. He didn't even charge us anything, which was demanded earlier due to the current hospital being a better one than before.
How did Abhishek know all the details to arrange this, I wondered. He hadn't spoken to my mother about it either. I realized the only way he could have known was when I was making frantic phone calls when my mother's appointment was cancelled at the previous hospital.
Abhishek had done a huge favour on me. I never wanted anyone to do favours on me but this was the question of my mother's health, perhaps life. I would go through anything to keep her safe and healthy. I would find a way to return Abhishek's favour later.
After the hospital visit, I left my mother in her house and went to Abhishek's house. When he came home it was almost midnight. I couldn't have slept without thanking him.
He noticed me reading a book when he walked in. But he again played oblivious of my existence and went to use the washroom. When he came out, I made up my mind and spoke to him.
"Suniye".
No answer. I called out a few times again. He didn't respond. He took out his sleeping pill bottle from the drawer. I ran upto him and held his hand stopping him from taking the pill.
"Leave my hand", he said without looking at me. I didn't budge.
He repeated himself. When I still didn't leave his hand he forcefully took his hand off of mine and the pill bottle fell off.
We both reached out for the container and banged our heads.
"I am sorry" I was the first one to apologize.
"Can't you see even with wearing chashma?" he taunted. Abhishek was talking to me. "For the record, you touched me, I didn't touch you", he argued.
"I need to talk to you, please sit", I requested. He sat on the bed resting to the headboard and I sat on the other corner of it. And then started our unexpected conversation.
"I was not gonna talk to you"
"You just have to listen. Please. First of all, I wanted to thank you for arranging my mother's hospital appointments."
"How is your Maa? Did she get her appointments sorted out? Like all of them? Did they start her treatment?"
"Yes, they did. From today itself"
"Good and good night", he turned to sleep.
"Does this mean you will talk to me from now on?", I wasn't done talking to him.
"Why do you want me to talk to you? It was your choice to decide about touching and it's my choice with talking"
"Look, it's not like that. I am not used to these kind of things. I didn't mean it the way you assumed it to be"
"What did I assume?"
"I am not from your celebrity world. Everything is okay in your world, but not.."
"What do you mean by everything is okay?"
"In general, the way people talk to each other, the way they hug and kiss, relationships..."
Abhishek was looking at me as if he didn't understand what I meant.
I continued, "like it's nothing for you to break up with someone, and then try to make that person feel bad like you did in the after party"
"Are you talking about Tannu?"
"Well, yes.."
"Ugh.. Do you even know what she did with me? So, we met at a party and sort of hooked up. And then we went for a holiday in Brazil. And then, she comes back here and uses my name to get her modeling contracts without even telling me. She even sold our personal holiday picture to make money and gave interviews making up stories about us that didn't even exist. I was still okay with her using my name, but then, what nonsense was this to sell pictures and stories to the media? I broke up with her right away. And she says she still loves me"
"You don't love her?"
"Love, what love? I don't believe in love. The only love I believe in is what's between my grandmother and myself and my music and me. Rest is just show off"
"You never loved any girl?"
"I did love my first girl friend, head over heels. In high school. She left me when I flunked in board exams and got on with a rich dude. She left me because I had no money and now people want me just because I have money. So that's love for me"
"Then, you dated Tannu without love?"
"Her and a few others. They keep coming and going. I don't get emotionally attached. It's stupid to be emotional"
"How can you be with someone without emotions?"
"My body has needs. You won't get it, you are Baabaji na?"
"I am not Baabaji"
"You have needs too? Have you had boyfriends?"
"Boy friends? Again, I am not from celebrity world..."
"What do you mean? Middle class people don't have affairs? I was poor and from chawl 10 years ago. I have seen life"
"Well, I didn't really have boy friends. Was engaged to my best friend. But it turned out he loves someone else, my sister"
"What? You loved him?"
"Wasn't sure at that time, now I am sure I didn't"
"Good for you, who is that idiot?"
"He is still my best friend, you remember the guy who fixed lights during our wedding? Suresh"
"Oh that double battery? I mean that Chashmish guy with thicker glasses than you!"
"Double battery? Don't call him that"
"Good that you guys broke up. Or else your kids would have been double Chashmish!"
I laughed at the face he made.
"My goodness, treasure falling off" he tried to grab some invisible things.
"What happened?"
"You laughed! This is the first time you laughed!! Treasure must have fallen off, I am collecting. Now I know why you never laugh"
"Oh God, Abhishek", I rolled my eyes.
"People call me God, but they don't call me Abhishek"
"Abhi, the rockstar Abhi"
"That I am. By the way, tell me more about that double battery. Is he dating Tweet Tweet now?"
"Tweet Tweet?"
"Bulbul"
"No, she has her own issues with him"
"And you never dated anyone after that?"
"No, I was kind of tired of all this. I actually had a bunch of rishtas I mean marriage proposals before that. My mother was trying to get me married all the time, but nothing worked out. I just decided I never want to marry"
"And you became a Baabaji"
"What?"
"You never had a guy blow your mind away?"
"No"
"Try me" he winked at me. I looked at him in shock.
"Relax. Just kidding yaar. We are business partners, we shouldn't hook up anyway"
I wished him a good night and went to sleep on the sofa.
Just when I was feeling I had a heart to heart with Abhishek and felt at ease, he had taken my mind somewhere else. Why did he have to say these words like 'try me' and wink like that to invade my senses and turn me into a mess.
There was no escape for my feelings around Abhishek whether he spoke to me or not.
Edited by -Tia- - 10 years ago
Ghum Hai Kisikey Pyaar Meiin
9