Can We Start Again?- Three Shots Completed Pg. 5 - Page 4

In between reading, I took glances of him. He was listening attentively to me.

"Why did you stop?" he asked.

"Please continue. Don't stop it halfway. It's just getting interesting," he continued.

"But, I am tired. Plus, this dress is uncomfortable," I answered. He had a disappointed look at first. But later, nodded knowingly. Wow, he is really interested with the book.

"Fine. I will change and read it to you the rest. Do you really want me to finish reading the whole book?" I asked. He nodded and continued, "If you don't mind."

"Say, please then." I said.

"Pretty, pretty please," he said. And before I could answer him back, he added, "And when I said pretty, I meant me not you." I couldn't help but smile. He remembers. I got up from the couch and headed to the bedroom.

"Excuse me for a minute," I said and left.

There's a small part of me screaming in my head. What am I doing? I didn't bring him here to read him bedtime stories. I brought him to show that I am a sophisticated, independent woman. Unlike the woman he accused me of. To show him that my life has been just fine, actually more than fine now that he's gone. But has it? There was once Purvi and Bulbul told me that I've gotten stronger. That I am in a much better place. I agreed because I don't want anyone to know or really see what I've become. Empty. Lifeless. Someone who locks herself away from people and writes stories. Yes, I do go out but only if it has anything to do with work. I am not strong. Not anymore. I used to be, though. I usually couldn't bother with all the insults Abhi or anyone else threw at me. Even when he taunted me, I still managed to accept it all with silence and at times with comebacks. But not anymore. I am weak now. Throw sticks and stones at me. I won't walk away. I will get a rock and break your head. Yes, I've turned to this kind of horrible person. But the funny thing is everyone sees this as a strength. I can't see it that way for some reason. I missed the old me. The old Pragya who could smile despite all her pain.

And when Abhi looks at me, I could see that old Pragya back. How he notices this difference between the Pragya standing in front of him and the Pragya he was married to. And I can see his longing for that old Pragya. No one and I mean not even one person in these four years ever looked at me that way. And I guess that's what melted my heart. I smiled to myself and entered the room.

I changed into a pair of flannel pajama pants and a white loose cotton shirt. I removed my make-up and contact lens. I took my spectacles from the drawer and wore them. I tied my hair into a messy bun. I got out from the room and sat next to him on the couch. He looked surprised. And I mean it in a good way. I was definitely feeling flattered but hid it from him. I took the book and continued. He came out from whatever trance he was in and listened silently. After two hours, my body started to feel numb. I felt a little uncomfortable too. I was moving around restlessly and he noticed it. He pulled me into him and asked me to put my legs on the couch to be more comfortable. I was taken aback at first. I was reluctant at first and was about to argue, but he shushed me with his index finger on my lips. I lost control for a moment. Our face was close and who'd want to refuse that muscular shoulder of his that has supported me at times when I needed it.

When I didn't say anything he brought me closer to him and made me put my leg on the couch. He sat leaning against the arm of the couch. And I was leaning on him. My head was now on the side of his left chest. His hand, thankfully was on the couch. I just can't think straight whenever he touches me. I coughed slightly and continued reading. The positon was awkward at first, but later it turned comfortable. His left hand was fiddling slowly with my hair and I liked it. It felt nice. His shoulder felt like home. After a few hours, I looked at the clock and came to realize that it was nine at night. My eyes felt heavy and I couldn't help yawning.

"You feel sleepy?" he asked slowly with his mouth above my head. I nodded slowly. Without saying anything, he carried me effortlessly in his arms. And I gave in. He put me on the bed and tucked me in. He kissed my forehead and wished me good night. I closed my eyes and thanked the heaven for this wonderful dream. And when I wake up, all this will over leaving me in an empty and alone world.

The smell of toast and roasted coffee bean woke me up. I opened my eyes and got out from the bed. I went out to find Abhi in the kitchen making breakfast. It reminded me of my mom. The only one who has had ever made me breakfast. All the painful memories came back. He took away my mom from me. The stabbing pain in my chest returned. How stupid was I? How could I ever forgive him? He humiliated me, made me feel small, taunted me and here I was being such an idiot accepting him back in my life again. I need to be strong. I've built up walls around me and he can't just break them. No way.

"Abhi, I think you need to leave," I said to him. He stopped whatever he's doing and looked at me with a smile. Sorry, honey. Your charm isn't going to work on me anymore. When he saw that I wasn't returning his smile, he stopped.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he approached me.

I took a step back and said, "Stop coming near me and take your stuff back. I want you to leave right now."

He look confused. But he stopped approaching me. "Is something wrong? Did something happened?" he tried asking.

"You happened. You're the reason my mother is dead. If only you've never entered into my life, everything would've been fine. And now, it's not. Thanks to who? Y-O-U. You," I said and pointed to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Pragya. For everything," was all he could manage.

"Can your sorry bring my mom back? Can it give my life back? And what are you doing here still? Making amends? Please! You could never repay for the damages that you've done. And what do you want from me? Forgiveness?" I asked.

"No. I don't want your forgiveness. You've already forgiven me. I'm still here for you. I want you, Pragya," he said and approached me.

"What do you mean, I forgave you? Who gave you the right to assume that?" I asked angrily.

He didn't say anything. He took my arm and brought me back to my bedroom. I tried to get out from his grip, but failed. He pulled me into the room and finally let go of my hand.

"If you hadn't forgive me, then what are these, Pragya?" he asked me while pointing at the shelf where I've stacked all his music collections from his early works till now. I gulped. He was not supposed to see this. Oh, god! How could I've forgotten! I stood still because I had no idea what to say.

"There are even posters that are autographed by me. What does any of this means?" he asked. I used to go his concerts and get the posters autographed anonymously. Whenever I missed him, I used to look at those posters and smile. Those were my weakest moments that I'd never wanted to admit to anyone. Not even Bulbul and Purvi knows about these collections. He took the posters and threw it down on the floor. Then, he approached me and took both of my shoulders in his hands and said, "Tell me that you're not feeling the same way I do right now. And I will walk away. Stop lying to me and be honest. I've always been honest with you. After all the truth that you hid from me, all I ask is for you to be honest with me."

"Yes, I do have feelings for you," I said and pulled away his hands from my shoulders. "But that doesn't mean I want to do anything with you. We're over before we had the chance to begin, Abhi" I said.

Why? Because of your mother?" he asked sadly. I looked down. I don't know. Part of it. But also I'm afraid. We've been married and it was horrible. Can we ever be together? Even if we do, how long will it last?

"Forever," he answered. I looked at him. I couldn't help but smile. How do I explain this connection we have despite all our differences?

He touched my face and said, "I'm sorry about your mother. I, really am. She was the mother I never really had, but Pragya, we need to move on. We can't be stuck in this same mess. I've made mistakes which I am ashamed and so have you. Let's put it into the grave and finally open a new chapter." Oh, how nice the words sounds coming from his mouth. I wanted to believe them so much.

"But what when we start to fight for petty things because of our differences? What if you start to taunt me, again? What if you make me cry, again?" I asked.

He pulled me into him and said, "Pragya, I will fight with you, I might make you upset, angry and even make you cry. But later I will shower with you with so many kisses and hugs tighter than this. It always won't be beds with roses with me, but you'll be happy with me. You'll be loved very much by me. I promise you that." I was listening to all these with my head on his chest. How long can I keep fighting with him? How can anyone resist his charm? I have to give in at some point. I smiled and hugged him back. He kissed my hair. He let go of me and took my hand. He said, "Look, I know that we aren't the same person anymore. But the old us' are somewhere beneath us. Can you think anything that's more fun than finding each other back, somehow?" he said. I love that idea. I nodded while smiling.

He took my face and kissed my lips. I've read about kissing and even written them in my books, but they could never be this good. This not only feels like home, but heaven. We're definitely very much broken, but I believe we will fix each other together. So what if we're wrong each for each other? Maybe it is better for us not to be together. But I don't care. Not anymore. I don't want to live in a world without him anymore. I've tried and it sucked. I kissed him back. I tasted all of him. He pulled my waist closer to him and I am thankful for that grip. I am feeling dizzy already, intoxicated by his kiss.

All of a sudden, he pulled away from the kiss and asked, "This is your first kiss, right?"

I couldn't help but laugh and asked, "Why'd you ask that?"

"Just answer me," he said frustratingly.

"Okay. But remember you asked for it. No, it isn't my first kiss," I said.

"What? Then, who was your first?" he asked holding me tighter than ever. My hand was clasped around his neck.

"It's someone I met on a blind date. It somehow led to kiss. But nothing happen after that," I said.

"Ermm, why?" he asked surprisingly.

"Because it never felt like this," I said and pulled him for the best second kiss ever. This isn't an ending of our story, but a beginning.

Thank you for reading this cheesy,yet predictable story!!!