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Nidhi drifted into sleep...but dr ashutosh kept looking at her...with concern love amd a deep guilt in his eyes...nhow he alwys vented his anger..his frustrations on her...he knew it was wrong n yet he did it...why?? Ashutosh caressed nidhi's hair...and looked at her with an intent medical eye...she was still wheezing...ashutosh rued at himself...how had he not realised she was unwell...in the morning she had seemed jaded...she must have been breathless the previous nighht ...n yet he had been too preoccupied to realise it...dr ashutosh sighed...looking at his nidhi...n thinking for the umpteenth time..if he was really worth her...
Nidhi stirred suddenly gasping ..dr ashutosh immediately got up to help her..realising that she was short of breath, he propped her on pillows ..turned her n massaged her back from shoulders down..knowing this would help ...but it seemed to do so very slowly...nidhi kept looking at him...amd as he came closer to ask if she wanted anything..she extended her hand and touched his face...smiling...before closing her eyes in sleep n fatigue...dr ashutosh realised that she wanted to tell him not to feel guilty...how she always looked through him...he was transparent as glass before her...ashutosh patted her..tenderly before getting up .he wore his specs n looked at the watch..4.a.m he went to see the kids.nishu was sleeping peacefully in his blue duvet...he had to be woken up at 6 .30 for school...in the nursery, guddi had kicked off her pink duvet n was sleeping over it...smiling in her sleep..very much lije her mother...dr ashutosh checked her diaper...it was dry n clean ...he extricated the duvet deftly and covered the baby ...patting her...wanting her sound sleep so that nidhi could get more rest...glancing at nidhi...he came out ..n walked into baba's room...
Baba was fast asleep..n yet the moment ashutosh stepped into his room ..he stirred out of his sleep...knowing even in deep sleep that his aahu required him...such was the bond between the two,..father..son!!"kya hua ashu...kya baat hai beta.."??dr ashitosh sat at the foot of the bed..."baba nidhi ko wheezing ho rahi hai..."baba sat up shocked..."wheezing...usse asthma hai kya...kabse..."?? Ashutosh felt like a criminal before a judge..."woh raat mei ..dr chandra ka phone aaya tha...kal unhi je paas gayi thi nidhi..check up ko..she had been wheezing...aur fever bhi ..."ashutosh's voice trailed off...as baba's eyes seemed to flash with anger"air tujhe pata nahi chala...kya aahu...aur oopar se itta gussa...pata nahi tera gussa kabhi khatm hoga bhi ya nahi...ab chal..dekhoon to main bhi nidhi ko..."
Baba entered the chamber where his son had begun a new phase ...rather late in life...n both looked at the fulcrum of their joy ..nidhi propped up on pillows...baba sat n examined her...asking for the stetho...n then got up allowing ashu to sit"fever to nahi hai...per kaafi wheezing hai...asthalin administer karna chshiye..."ashutosh nodded"jee, in my opinion too,...jaata hoon .I d get an inhaler..."baba pushed him down n said"tu reh yahaan..main armaan ko bhejta hoon.."baba went out n ashutosh could hear the car starting...
He kept sitting next to nidhi..caressing her hand..and wondering how he had not known she was an asthmatic..she had been with him for 7 years...and he thought he knew her inside out...but then...
Armaan entered with baba..carrying the inhaler...dr ashutosh shook it and then putting an arm around his wife ..he gently said"inhale when I push the drug...deep breath...u know doc.."nidhi seemed to smile...as she looked at armaan n baba...she signalled to baba n then murmured"baba...inpe naaraaz nahi..."baba cut her short..."chup reh beta...bolne se aur wheezing hogi...kuch nahi kaha hai maine ashu ko...buss tu theek ho ja..."!nidhi smiled at baba thankfully...as ashutosh pumped the inhaler n she inhaled...thrice ...and seemed to ease ...but as dr ashutosh put his palm below her breasts...he could feel the wheezing...he got up n looked at baba...evading armaan..who he knew would be v angry ...blaming ashutosh n his anger,..."baba, I feel chandra ko bulana hoga...cardio thoracy mei he s the best..."as baba seemed to agree..armaan added"jaldi kar aahu..dekh kitni taqleef mei hai nidhi..."ashutosh dialled n as dr chandra picked up, he told"hi chandra , sorry to interrupt your morning tennis, yaar nidhi uncomfortable hai..fever to wane ker gaya hai..but she s wheezing...badly..would you plz come"?? Chandra smiled as he kept his racquet down and said"anything for u n dr nidhi..bus abhi aaya..give me 5 minutes"!!
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Dr chandra sat examining nidhi...admonishing her as she wished him..."ek dum nahi bolna hai...you r having a severe attack of asthama...try to relax...I am giving you the nebuliser..."and then looking at ashutosh for permission..he put themask on nnidhi's face and crushed the flurocort capsule...nudging nidhi to inhale...then as nidhi seemed to drift into comfort...he indicated ashutosh to come out...
As the drs ..baba, chandra n ashu sat in the hall, armaan requested kaka for tea...chandra looked at ashutosh.."its asthma...surprising you didnt know,...I mean come on...you should have caught the symptoms...but yes when she came to me..she wasnt this bad,..I wonder why...kuch stress hua kya..."?? Dr ashutosh looked at baba...n armaan n then answered"yes chandra...I did shout at her...you know..."chandra smiled sipping tea"the infamous hardstone temper...dont worry...she will be fine..but be careful...uska valve prolapse iss attack ko compound jer sakta hai..that can be v dangerous...n do gind out if she has a history of asthma...I mean in her childhood...or maybe infancy..."and just then ashutosh heard guddi cry...he shot into the nursery...holding the lil imp n bringing her outside into the hall...cuddling her...as he sat next to dr chandra, holding his daughter...sleepy n snuggling up to hus neck,...ashutosh smiled as he held her close...dr chandra smiled tenderly "the lil princess..."and caressed her curly hair..."now I know ashutosh...with so muxh of music in ur life...u dint need to listen to m.s subbalaxmi."!! Ashutosh smiled as he said"abhi aaya...she needs a diaper change,.., nahi to royegi..."!!and as dr ashutosh carried guddi inside...putting a finger on her lips..indicatingbher to keep quiet...dr chandra looked at baba..."dr mathur...ashutosh seems a changed man...so much into his family..."baba smiled"yes dr chandra...bahut devoted hai ..nidhi aur bachchon ko...uski to duniya hi badal ggayi gai...bus hardstone temper kabhi kabhi resurface karta hai..."dr ashutosh emerged with a fresh looking guddi,..as chandra had another look at nidhi...sleeping peacefully...
"Ashutosh...breathing normal nahi hai abhi...give her nebulise after 4 hrs again...dopahar me clinic ke baad aaoonga phir...she should be better by then..bus full rest n minimal talking...which I know is difficult for dr nidhi"!!as ashutosh n baba laughed...dr chandra left...
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"Nishu beta get up...ready ho jao school ko..."!! It was dr ashutosh waking up his son...who seemed surprised..."mamma..."ashutosh smiled"beta..mamma ki tabiat theek nahi hai..she is resting...chalo naha lo...I d help you..."nishu got up, taking his uniform..."nahi papa..I d manage..bus aap tie baandh dena..."ashutosh nodded as he came out carrying guddi ...n helping kaka to lay the table ...as kaka asked"kya khaoge beta..."?? Dr ashutosh fumbled...for years now ..nidhi knew what he wanted to eat...n what was right for him...he had stopped thinking..."kaka...kuch bhi...jo nidhi banati hai..."kaka smiled as he started to prepare sandwiches n poha...ashutosh kept talking to guddi...trying to keep her in good humour...just as nishu came with his tie..."papa tie..plz"ashu was immiediately reminded of nidhi...how she tied..rather ties the tie for him every day...n the intimate moments that would normally ensue..."papa..plz jaldi"!! Nishu pulled at ashutosh...n he smiled, sitting down to tie his son's tie...as he adjusted the knot, he kissed ashutosh n said"thank you papa"! As ashutosh served nishu, carrying guddi in his arms, the lil imp almost jumped at the food, making her father realise that she was hungry..."kaka, iska cerelac kahaan hai"?? Kaka looked around n came with the tin n the baby 's minny mouse bowl..seeing the bowl , guddi was all excited...as ashu made her sit on her bouncer n read how to make the formula feed..as nishu smiled"papa...can u make it"?? Ashu smiled"i am trying baby...aur yeh tumhara tiffin..."as armaan emerged, all suited booted , "ashu, mai nishu ko drop ker ke office nikloonga...meeting hai urgent..lautoonga lunch time..pick ker loonga..keep me in the loop...zara dekh loon nidhi ko"?? Ashu smiled as armaan peeped into the bedroom...and smiled at a sleeping nidhi...as nishu took his bag n then looking into the room ...asked ashu"papa...mamma ko kya hua papa...kab uthegi ..."?? Ashutosh could feel the worry in the young voice...as he mixed the cerelac...he looked at nishu...n bent down to explain.."baby , mamma ko asthma attack hua hai..per dont worry...she d be better when u come...main chutti pe rahoonga aaj..to take care of your mamma..."!! As nishu put his head on ashu's shoulder...just like nidhi always did...baba realised the childs agony n spoke"nishu...tu chinta naa kar ..bilkul achchi ho jaayegi nidhi...jaa ab nahi to late ho jayega...dekh chacha wait kar raha hai..."nishu looked up...all eyes were towards nidhi...he got up...n walked to his mother...sleeping after a weary night...her hair all over her face...silently he removed the tresses ...n stood for a moment..then turned away...looking at his father for a moment before saying"chalo chacha..."n left...leaving ashu with a lump in his throat...did his son also feel he was responsible for nidhi's illness...
"Paa..."cried ashni...as ashu sat to feed her...as she opened her mouth wide...he put in a spoon half full..but then remembered that nidhi always put a bib around the baby's neck,..he got up n went into the nursery..to sift thru the wardrobe n pulled out a bib from the bundle of bibs...he returned ..looking at nidhi..and returned to the calls of ashni..he too was feeling the conflict between a husband n father for the first time...
He sat patiently n fed ashni..as she kicked on to the bouncer...and she gurgled...finally as the meal ended..he wiped her face n neck and got up...with ashni in his arms...ashu sighed in relief as maxi entered...and as ashni went into her arms...baba commented"dekha ...nidhi ka kaam kitta mushkil hai.."ashutosh nodded'jee baba...I know..."n then dialled kgh to inform that he d not be coming today...as dr nidhi was unwell...and then phoned dr nagpal, requesting him to be ready if there was an emergency..at kgh..when nagpal came to know that nidhi was unwell ...n thars what was keeping ashutosh at home, he emphasised "dont u worry...look after dr nidhi...mai sambhal loonga...just chill"!!ashutosh smiled gratefully as he got up..."baba mai abhi nidhi ke paas ..."baba patted him ...as kaka handed him milk n cornflakes "le kha le...pareshani mei yehi khata hai na..."ashu smiled ...grateful once again to each member of his family...he took the bowl n went into the bedroom...
As ashutosh finished his milk n cornflakes...he looked at nidhi...should she be awakened to be fed?? It was a difficult choice to make...but then nidhi stirred n opened her eyes...ashutosh caressed her hair"kuch khaogi..."nidhi shook her head to say no...but asked"guddi...ne khaya...aur nishu...school "?? "Shhh..sab ho gaya...guddi ka diaper badal ke cerelac khila diya..nishu ready hoke school gaya...tumhare liye worried tha..."nidhi gave a weak smile as she wanted to close her eyes again...but then remembered"baba ki dawaai..woh bhool jaate hain..." ashutosh felt overwhelmed...how could nidhi think of the household even when she was herself unwell...he got up...realising this is what made her so lovable...he said"aata hoon"n went to baba...who sat sipping tea"aapne dawa li baba"?? Baba spanked his brow..."abhi khata hoon...bhool gaya tha...woh nidhi khilati hai..."ashu did not say anything as baba took his medicines n keeping the hlass back , he returned to nidhi...who was uncomfortable once again...ashutosh propped her"kya ..wheezing hai ..."nidhi nodded...as she gasped"haan...yahaan hurt kar..."she could not dpeak as her breath was short...but pointed to the side of her chest...dr ashutosh raised his eyebrow ...n looked at his watch..it was time to nebulise her again...he made her lie...and put the mask..as he crushed the capsule n nidhi inhaled...as ashu opened her nightie n felt her ribs...as she seemed to wince...he bit his lip as he got some volini and began to massage her sides...his fingers that had brought her to peaks of pleasure..now worked to bring her relief...as he went on massaging ...pressing between the ribs ..as nidhi's eyelids began to droop...and slowly she drifted back to sleep...as dr ashutosh continued the massage...his expert hands bringing her relief...but he could still feel her muscles tense n fatigued...he knew as a doctor that the consistent short breathing had caused fatigue in her intercoastal muscles n abdomen...ashutosh applied volini n then zipped the nightie...as the mask remained on nidhi's face...
He came out n dialled col verma.."hi col verma...are u free "?? Col verma was reading his export house documents..but hecould sense the tremor in aashutosh's voice..."I am free ashutosh..boliye..."ashutosh paused..trying to rephrase in a way that col verma would not panic..afterall nidhi was his only child..."sir..nidhi ki kal se tabiyat nahi theek...panting hai..a mild asthma attack...aap ek baar aa jaiye..but dont tell dadi bua..pareshaan ho jaayengi...dr aaye the..koi chinta ki baat nahi..but still I d be happy if u could come...".."main bus abhi aaya ashutosh...I d get her medical records also..."baba looked up from the newspaper n smiled..."achcha kiya beta...col ko bula ke...mature decision..."ashu did not say anything ...he just took the drowsy guddi from maxi n came into the room...walking along he patted the baby who jept looking at her mother..usually so active but lying still today...as ashutosh crooned n cuddled her to sleep n for once the baby cooperated...dr ashutosh settled her in the baby cot n came tonidhi...he knew now the baby d sleep for 2 hrs...he hoped nidhi would be better by then...
He sat by nidhi, massaging her sides...and then caressing her hair...looking at those eyes..that could look thru him...there was a slight noise...he turned ..baba n col verma were standing at the door...mesmerised at the middle aged surgeon with grey side burns nursing his young wife...whose vibrancy seemed to have been temporarily snatched by an asthma attack.
Ashutosh got up as cv came in with baba..."so rahi hai abhi to...better hai..."said dr ashutosh removing the nebulising mask...cv n baba came to the hall followed by dr ashutosh...col verma spoke"jaante hain, bachpan me koi 8 ya 9 baras ki rahi hogi tab bhi aisa attack aaya tha...hua yu tha ki flu mei nahaa li thi...aur mere mana karne ke baawjood...aur jab maine gusse me do thappad laga diye to asthma attack ho gaya ...derephylline dena pada tha...aur phir kerala se laut ke...jab aap...lekin ab kya hua...I cant understand...koi stress to hai nahi..."
Dr ashutosh turned his face away as baba looked at him...and he was unable to face them"actually col verma..fever tha usse...aur kal kuch aisa ho gaya...you know ...I lost a patient...choti si bachchi head injuries se...she died in the operation table...jab mai ghar aaya nidhi nahi thi...I was desperately angry with myself...lekin sab gussa utra uspe...I called her immature n irresponsible...aur ...uska result ...nidhi k8 itti taqleef...I am the culprit...nidhi ka gunehgaar npmain hoon..."col verma smiled...as he got up to turn his son in law...the world famous neuro surgeon to face him,."ashutosh...aap nidhi ke pati hain..uske sukh dukh ke sathi,...aap usse chot pahuncha hi nahi sakte...aur thoda bahut jhagda kis miya biwi me nahi hota...bua to kehti ki nidhi acting ker rahi hai aapse sewa karwane ko...just dont worry..,.abhi uthegi aurblayegi ..."..."dr ashutosh..."everyone looked in surprise as it was nidhi calling ashutosh...he rushed in..."kya hua jaan...inhaler chahiye..."?? Nidhi pouted ..n said'nahi...I am hungry...aur baba ...mere baba aaye hain kya...aapne bulaya"?? As ashutosh called in his father in law ...he propped upnidhi but warned her..."no talking...lsamjhi..."
Cv sat by nidhi smiling "kya nidhi..dr ashutosh ko to dara hi diya tha tu ne...ab jaisi hai beta"?? Nidhi smiled n answered"theek hoon vaba..."cv laughed "to uska matlab mujhse m7lne ke liyw thayeh sab naatak...kyun"??? And all four laughed...as ashutosh fed nidhi milk n cornflakes...n baba n col verma watched...then cv stood up n patted nidhi"chalta hoon..kal aaoonga...I hope tu khud mujhe khilayegi nashta..."ashutosh gotup n said"abhi aaya bus..."n came to drop cv...col stopped near his dezire, looking at dr ashutosh , he said"itna mat ghabraya karo ashutosh...theek ho jaayegi nidhi...aur mujhe aap pe poore se bhi poora vishwaas hai...meri beti ka aap se behtar koi bhi khayaal nahi rakh sakta...nain khud bhi nahi..."dr ashutosh could not reply...he knew his voice d choke...he just looked at col verma...and then bent down to touch his feet...not because he was nidhi's father...but because he had such implicit faith in ashutosh...
As ashutosh returned nidhi was saying to baba"aapne unhe daanta to nahi...sensitive hain bahut"!! And seeing ashutosh enter, baba laughed"haa..ab tu mujhe samjhayegi..mera beta kaisa hai...bata to zara"!!
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It was afternoon when nushu returned from school n almost rushed to nidhi...smiling to see ger sitting ...and as she hugged him...he said"mamma...mai to darr gaya tha..."armaan patted nidhi and said"tu theek hoja tab dr hardstone ko punish karenge...DO HUFTE QUAID E BAMUSHAKKAT...SIRF MAGGI AUR PEPSI..."!! And all laughed...as nidhi's eyes seemed to brim up,..."aaja nishu hum lunch karein..mamma ko rest karne de"!...
As nidhi was left alone with ashutosh...she looked at him..."dr ashutosh...mujhe bataya kyun nahi..."?? And he just satn cuddled her up..."aur tumne...ki tum beemaar ho..."?? Nidhi held his face...looking into his eyes ...she could see fear...fear of losing her..losing his paradise...nidhi snuggled.."main kahi nahi ja rahi...dekhiye feel kariye meri saans bhi theek chal rahi hai...yeh saansein aapse jo bandhi hain,..."ashutosh smiled n then ssaid"ab chup raho...aur try to sleep..."nidhi smiled"taaki aap haath pakde baithe rahein mere paas,..."!! Ashutosh smiled...as he sat holding her hand...n just as he was about to peck her..."EEE" IT WAS GUDDI...nidhi laughed wearily..."laaiye uss badmash ko...subah se nahi delha..."as dr ashutosh got lil guddi to nidhi...and made her sit on the bed...nishu also came ...n as nidhi hugged both their children...taking a deep breath of love ..of fresh air ..of life...dr ashutosh hummed to them...
SAANS ME TERI SAANS GHULI TO...MUJHE SAANS AAYEE...and as nidhi smiled ...nishu kissed his mother...n the naughty gudfi...extended her arms to be lifted n yelled her favouriteEE,...
THE PARADISE HAD BEEN REGAINED...
Nidhi stirred suddenly gasping ..dr ashutosh immediately got up to help her..realising that she was short of breath, he propped her on pillows ..turned her n massaged her back from shoulders down..knowing this would help ...but it seemed to do so very slowly...nidhi kept looking at him...amd as he came closer to ask if she wanted anything..she extended her hand and touched his face...smiling...before closing her eyes in sleep n fatigue...dr ashutosh realised that she wanted to tell him not to feel guilty...how she always looked through him...he was transparent as glass before her...ashutosh patted her..tenderly before getting up .he wore his specs n looked at the watch..4.a.m he went to see the kids.nishu was sleeping peacefully in his blue duvet...he had to be woken up at 6 .30 for school...in the nursery, guddi had kicked off her pink duvet n was sleeping over it...smiling in her sleep..very much lije her mother...dr ashutosh checked her diaper...it was dry n clean ...he extricated the duvet deftly and covered the baby ...patting her...wanting her sound sleep so that nidhi could get more rest...glancing at nidhi...he came out ..n walked into baba's room...
Baba was fast asleep..n yet the moment ashutosh stepped into his room ..he stirred out of his sleep...knowing even in deep sleep that his aahu required him...such was the bond between the two,..father..son!!"kya hua ashu...kya baat hai beta.."??dr ashitosh sat at the foot of the bed..."baba nidhi ko wheezing ho rahi hai..."baba sat up shocked..."wheezing...usse asthma hai kya...kabse..."?? Ashutosh felt like a criminal before a judge..."woh raat mei ..dr chandra ka phone aaya tha...kal unhi je paas gayi thi nidhi..check up ko..she had been wheezing...aur fever bhi ..."ashutosh's voice trailed off...as baba's eyes seemed to flash with anger"air tujhe pata nahi chala...kya aahu...aur oopar se itta gussa...pata nahi tera gussa kabhi khatm hoga bhi ya nahi...ab chal..dekhoon to main bhi nidhi ko..."
Baba entered the chamber where his son had begun a new phase ...rather late in life...n both looked at the fulcrum of their joy ..nidhi propped up on pillows...baba sat n examined her...asking for the stetho...n then got up allowing ashu to sit"fever to nahi hai...per kaafi wheezing hai...asthalin administer karna chshiye..."ashutosh nodded"jee, in my opinion too,...jaata hoon .I d get an inhaler..."baba pushed him down n said"tu reh yahaan..main armaan ko bhejta hoon.."baba went out n ashutosh could hear the car starting...
He kept sitting next to nidhi..caressing her hand..and wondering how he had not known she was an asthmatic..she had been with him for 7 years...and he thought he knew her inside out...but then...
Armaan entered with baba..carrying the inhaler...dr ashutosh shook it and then putting an arm around his wife ..he gently said"inhale when I push the drug...deep breath...u know doc.."nidhi seemed to smile...as she looked at armaan n baba...she signalled to baba n then murmured"baba...inpe naaraaz nahi..."baba cut her short..."chup reh beta...bolne se aur wheezing hogi...kuch nahi kaha hai maine ashu ko...buss tu theek ho ja..."!nidhi smiled at baba thankfully...as ashutosh pumped the inhaler n she inhaled...thrice ...and seemed to ease ...but as dr ashutosh put his palm below her breasts...he could feel the wheezing...he got up n looked at baba...evading armaan..who he knew would be v angry ...blaming ashutosh n his anger,..."baba, I feel chandra ko bulana hoga...cardio thoracy mei he s the best..."as baba seemed to agree..armaan added"jaldi kar aahu..dekh kitni taqleef mei hai nidhi..."ashutosh dialled n as dr chandra picked up, he told"hi chandra , sorry to interrupt your morning tennis, yaar nidhi uncomfortable hai..fever to wane ker gaya hai..but she s wheezing...badly..would you plz come"?? Chandra smiled as he kept his racquet down and said"anything for u n dr nidhi..bus abhi aaya..give me 5 minutes"!!
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Dr chandra sat examining nidhi...admonishing her as she wished him..."ek dum nahi bolna hai...you r having a severe attack of asthama...try to relax...I am giving you the nebuliser..."and then looking at ashutosh for permission..he put themask on nnidhi's face and crushed the flurocort capsule...nudging nidhi to inhale...then as nidhi seemed to drift into comfort...he indicated ashutosh to come out...
As the drs ..baba, chandra n ashu sat in the hall, armaan requested kaka for tea...chandra looked at ashutosh.."its asthma...surprising you didnt know,...I mean come on...you should have caught the symptoms...but yes when she came to me..she wasnt this bad,..I wonder why...kuch stress hua kya..."?? Dr ashutosh looked at baba...n armaan n then answered"yes chandra...I did shout at her...you know..."chandra smiled sipping tea"the infamous hardstone temper...dont worry...she will be fine..but be careful...uska valve prolapse iss attack ko compound jer sakta hai..that can be v dangerous...n do gind out if she has a history of asthma...I mean in her childhood...or maybe infancy..."and just then ashutosh heard guddi cry...he shot into the nursery...holding the lil imp n bringing her outside into the hall...cuddling her...as he sat next to dr chandra, holding his daughter...sleepy n snuggling up to hus neck,...ashutosh smiled as he held her close...dr chandra smiled tenderly "the lil princess..."and caressed her curly hair..."now I know ashutosh...with so muxh of music in ur life...u dint need to listen to m.s subbalaxmi."!! Ashutosh smiled as he said"abhi aaya...she needs a diaper change,.., nahi to royegi..."!!and as dr ashutosh carried guddi inside...putting a finger on her lips..indicatingbher to keep quiet...dr chandra looked at baba..."dr mathur...ashutosh seems a changed man...so much into his family..."baba smiled"yes dr chandra...bahut devoted hai ..nidhi aur bachchon ko...uski to duniya hi badal ggayi gai...bus hardstone temper kabhi kabhi resurface karta hai..."dr ashutosh emerged with a fresh looking guddi,..as chandra had another look at nidhi...sleeping peacefully...
"Ashutosh...breathing normal nahi hai abhi...give her nebulise after 4 hrs again...dopahar me clinic ke baad aaoonga phir...she should be better by then..bus full rest n minimal talking...which I know is difficult for dr nidhi"!!as ashutosh n baba laughed...dr chandra left...
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"Nishu beta get up...ready ho jao school ko..."!! It was dr ashutosh waking up his son...who seemed surprised..."mamma..."ashutosh smiled"beta..mamma ki tabiat theek nahi hai..she is resting...chalo naha lo...I d help you..."nishu got up, taking his uniform..."nahi papa..I d manage..bus aap tie baandh dena..."ashutosh nodded as he came out carrying guddi ...n helping kaka to lay the table ...as kaka asked"kya khaoge beta..."?? Dr ashutosh fumbled...for years now ..nidhi knew what he wanted to eat...n what was right for him...he had stopped thinking..."kaka...kuch bhi...jo nidhi banati hai..."kaka smiled as he started to prepare sandwiches n poha...ashutosh kept talking to guddi...trying to keep her in good humour...just as nishu came with his tie..."papa tie..plz"ashu was immiediately reminded of nidhi...how she tied..rather ties the tie for him every day...n the intimate moments that would normally ensue..."papa..plz jaldi"!! Nishu pulled at ashutosh...n he smiled, sitting down to tie his son's tie...as he adjusted the knot, he kissed ashutosh n said"thank you papa"! As ashutosh served nishu, carrying guddi in his arms, the lil imp almost jumped at the food, making her father realise that she was hungry..."kaka, iska cerelac kahaan hai"?? Kaka looked around n came with the tin n the baby 's minny mouse bowl..seeing the bowl , guddi was all excited...as ashu made her sit on her bouncer n read how to make the formula feed..as nishu smiled"papa...can u make it"?? Ashu smiled"i am trying baby...aur yeh tumhara tiffin..."as armaan emerged, all suited booted , "ashu, mai nishu ko drop ker ke office nikloonga...meeting hai urgent..lautoonga lunch time..pick ker loonga..keep me in the loop...zara dekh loon nidhi ko"?? Ashu smiled as armaan peeped into the bedroom...and smiled at a sleeping nidhi...as nishu took his bag n then looking into the room ...asked ashu"papa...mamma ko kya hua papa...kab uthegi ..."?? Ashutosh could feel the worry in the young voice...as he mixed the cerelac...he looked at nishu...n bent down to explain.."baby , mamma ko asthma attack hua hai..per dont worry...she d be better when u come...main chutti pe rahoonga aaj..to take care of your mamma..."!! As nishu put his head on ashu's shoulder...just like nidhi always did...baba realised the childs agony n spoke"nishu...tu chinta naa kar ..bilkul achchi ho jaayegi nidhi...jaa ab nahi to late ho jayega...dekh chacha wait kar raha hai..."nishu looked up...all eyes were towards nidhi...he got up...n walked to his mother...sleeping after a weary night...her hair all over her face...silently he removed the tresses ...n stood for a moment..then turned away...looking at his father for a moment before saying"chalo chacha..."n left...leaving ashu with a lump in his throat...did his son also feel he was responsible for nidhi's illness...
"Paa..."cried ashni...as ashu sat to feed her...as she opened her mouth wide...he put in a spoon half full..but then remembered that nidhi always put a bib around the baby's neck,..he got up n went into the nursery..to sift thru the wardrobe n pulled out a bib from the bundle of bibs...he returned ..looking at nidhi..and returned to the calls of ashni..he too was feeling the conflict between a husband n father for the first time...
He sat patiently n fed ashni..as she kicked on to the bouncer...and she gurgled...finally as the meal ended..he wiped her face n neck and got up...with ashni in his arms...ashu sighed in relief as maxi entered...and as ashni went into her arms...baba commented"dekha ...nidhi ka kaam kitta mushkil hai.."ashutosh nodded'jee baba...I know..."n then dialled kgh to inform that he d not be coming today...as dr nidhi was unwell...and then phoned dr nagpal, requesting him to be ready if there was an emergency..at kgh..when nagpal came to know that nidhi was unwell ...n thars what was keeping ashutosh at home, he emphasised "dont u worry...look after dr nidhi...mai sambhal loonga...just chill"!!ashutosh smiled gratefully as he got up..."baba mai abhi nidhi ke paas ..."baba patted him ...as kaka handed him milk n cornflakes "le kha le...pareshani mei yehi khata hai na..."ashu smiled ...grateful once again to each member of his family...he took the bowl n went into the bedroom...
As ashutosh finished his milk n cornflakes...he looked at nidhi...should she be awakened to be fed?? It was a difficult choice to make...but then nidhi stirred n opened her eyes...ashutosh caressed her hair"kuch khaogi..."nidhi shook her head to say no...but asked"guddi...ne khaya...aur nishu...school "?? "Shhh..sab ho gaya...guddi ka diaper badal ke cerelac khila diya..nishu ready hoke school gaya...tumhare liye worried tha..."nidhi gave a weak smile as she wanted to close her eyes again...but then remembered"baba ki dawaai..woh bhool jaate hain..." ashutosh felt overwhelmed...how could nidhi think of the household even when she was herself unwell...he got up...realising this is what made her so lovable...he said"aata hoon"n went to baba...who sat sipping tea"aapne dawa li baba"?? Baba spanked his brow..."abhi khata hoon...bhool gaya tha...woh nidhi khilati hai..."ashu did not say anything as baba took his medicines n keeping the hlass back , he returned to nidhi...who was uncomfortable once again...ashutosh propped her"kya ..wheezing hai ..."nidhi nodded...as she gasped"haan...yahaan hurt kar..."she could not dpeak as her breath was short...but pointed to the side of her chest...dr ashutosh raised his eyebrow ...n looked at his watch..it was time to nebulise her again...he made her lie...and put the mask..as he crushed the capsule n nidhi inhaled...as ashu opened her nightie n felt her ribs...as she seemed to wince...he bit his lip as he got some volini and began to massage her sides...his fingers that had brought her to peaks of pleasure..now worked to bring her relief...as he went on massaging ...pressing between the ribs ..as nidhi's eyelids began to droop...and slowly she drifted back to sleep...as dr ashutosh continued the massage...his expert hands bringing her relief...but he could still feel her muscles tense n fatigued...he knew as a doctor that the consistent short breathing had caused fatigue in her intercoastal muscles n abdomen...ashutosh applied volini n then zipped the nightie...as the mask remained on nidhi's face...
He came out n dialled col verma.."hi col verma...are u free "?? Col verma was reading his export house documents..but hecould sense the tremor in aashutosh's voice..."I am free ashutosh..boliye..."ashutosh paused..trying to rephrase in a way that col verma would not panic..afterall nidhi was his only child..."sir..nidhi ki kal se tabiyat nahi theek...panting hai..a mild asthma attack...aap ek baar aa jaiye..but dont tell dadi bua..pareshaan ho jaayengi...dr aaye the..koi chinta ki baat nahi..but still I d be happy if u could come...".."main bus abhi aaya ashutosh...I d get her medical records also..."baba looked up from the newspaper n smiled..."achcha kiya beta...col ko bula ke...mature decision..."ashu did not say anything ...he just took the drowsy guddi from maxi n came into the room...walking along he patted the baby who jept looking at her mother..usually so active but lying still today...as ashutosh crooned n cuddled her to sleep n for once the baby cooperated...dr ashutosh settled her in the baby cot n came tonidhi...he knew now the baby d sleep for 2 hrs...he hoped nidhi would be better by then...
He sat by nidhi, massaging her sides...and then caressing her hair...looking at those eyes..that could look thru him...there was a slight noise...he turned ..baba n col verma were standing at the door...mesmerised at the middle aged surgeon with grey side burns nursing his young wife...whose vibrancy seemed to have been temporarily snatched by an asthma attack.
Ashutosh got up as cv came in with baba..."so rahi hai abhi to...better hai..."said dr ashutosh removing the nebulising mask...cv n baba came to the hall followed by dr ashutosh...col verma spoke"jaante hain, bachpan me koi 8 ya 9 baras ki rahi hogi tab bhi aisa attack aaya tha...hua yu tha ki flu mei nahaa li thi...aur mere mana karne ke baawjood...aur jab maine gusse me do thappad laga diye to asthma attack ho gaya ...derephylline dena pada tha...aur phir kerala se laut ke...jab aap...lekin ab kya hua...I cant understand...koi stress to hai nahi..."
Dr ashutosh turned his face away as baba looked at him...and he was unable to face them"actually col verma..fever tha usse...aur kal kuch aisa ho gaya...you know ...I lost a patient...choti si bachchi head injuries se...she died in the operation table...jab mai ghar aaya nidhi nahi thi...I was desperately angry with myself...lekin sab gussa utra uspe...I called her immature n irresponsible...aur ...uska result ...nidhi k8 itti taqleef...I am the culprit...nidhi ka gunehgaar npmain hoon..."col verma smiled...as he got up to turn his son in law...the world famous neuro surgeon to face him,."ashutosh...aap nidhi ke pati hain..uske sukh dukh ke sathi,...aap usse chot pahuncha hi nahi sakte...aur thoda bahut jhagda kis miya biwi me nahi hota...bua to kehti ki nidhi acting ker rahi hai aapse sewa karwane ko...just dont worry..,.abhi uthegi aurblayegi ..."..."dr ashutosh..."everyone looked in surprise as it was nidhi calling ashutosh...he rushed in..."kya hua jaan...inhaler chahiye..."?? Nidhi pouted ..n said'nahi...I am hungry...aur baba ...mere baba aaye hain kya...aapne bulaya"?? As ashutosh called in his father in law ...he propped upnidhi but warned her..."no talking...lsamjhi..."
Cv sat by nidhi smiling "kya nidhi..dr ashutosh ko to dara hi diya tha tu ne...ab jaisi hai beta"?? Nidhi smiled n answered"theek hoon vaba..."cv laughed "to uska matlab mujhse m7lne ke liyw thayeh sab naatak...kyun"??? And all four laughed...as ashutosh fed nidhi milk n cornflakes...n baba n col verma watched...then cv stood up n patted nidhi"chalta hoon..kal aaoonga...I hope tu khud mujhe khilayegi nashta..."ashutosh gotup n said"abhi aaya bus..."n came to drop cv...col stopped near his dezire, looking at dr ashutosh , he said"itna mat ghabraya karo ashutosh...theek ho jaayegi nidhi...aur mujhe aap pe poore se bhi poora vishwaas hai...meri beti ka aap se behtar koi bhi khayaal nahi rakh sakta...nain khud bhi nahi..."dr ashutosh could not reply...he knew his voice d choke...he just looked at col verma...and then bent down to touch his feet...not because he was nidhi's father...but because he had such implicit faith in ashutosh...
As ashutosh returned nidhi was saying to baba"aapne unhe daanta to nahi...sensitive hain bahut"!! And seeing ashutosh enter, baba laughed"haa..ab tu mujhe samjhayegi..mera beta kaisa hai...bata to zara"!!
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It was afternoon when nushu returned from school n almost rushed to nidhi...smiling to see ger sitting ...and as she hugged him...he said"mamma...mai to darr gaya tha..."armaan patted nidhi and said"tu theek hoja tab dr hardstone ko punish karenge...DO HUFTE QUAID E BAMUSHAKKAT...SIRF MAGGI AUR PEPSI..."!! And all laughed...as nidhi's eyes seemed to brim up,..."aaja nishu hum lunch karein..mamma ko rest karne de"!...
As nidhi was left alone with ashutosh...she looked at him..."dr ashutosh...mujhe bataya kyun nahi..."?? And he just satn cuddled her up..."aur tumne...ki tum beemaar ho..."?? Nidhi held his face...looking into his eyes ...she could see fear...fear of losing her..losing his paradise...nidhi snuggled.."main kahi nahi ja rahi...dekhiye feel kariye meri saans bhi theek chal rahi hai...yeh saansein aapse jo bandhi hain,..."ashutosh smiled n then ssaid"ab chup raho...aur try to sleep..."nidhi smiled"taaki aap haath pakde baithe rahein mere paas,..."!! Ashutosh smiled...as he sat holding her hand...n just as he was about to peck her..."EEE" IT WAS GUDDI...nidhi laughed wearily..."laaiye uss badmash ko...subah se nahi delha..."as dr ashutosh got lil guddi to nidhi...and made her sit on the bed...nishu also came ...n as nidhi hugged both their children...taking a deep breath of love ..of fresh air ..of life...dr ashutosh hummed to them...
SAANS ME TERI SAANS GHULI TO...MUJHE SAANS AAYEE...and as nidhi smiled ...nishu kissed his mother...n the naughty gudfi...extended her arms to be lifted n yelled her favouriteEE,...
THE PARADISE HAD BEEN REGAINED...
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Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
