Kashmakash S2 Th 3 Chap 8 Pg 129 June 26 - Page 95

Chapter Eight

Nidhi stares at Priyanka uncomprehendingly: I don't understand..left where?

Priyanka looks at Nidhi with something close to pity in her eyes: Nidhi..Dr Ashutosh took a sabbatical as of this morning and left KGH. No one knows where he went and when or if he would be back. He called a HOD meet this morning, handed over everything to Dr Khanna and left. (Nidhi stumbles back a little and Priyanka catches her and guides her to the near by chair) Sambhalke Nidhi..le thoda paani peele

Nidhi pushes away the glass: Nahi..mein..mein teek hoon. Kahaa gaye tumhe kuch pata hain kya? Unofficially?

Priyanka: Nahi. Kissi ko kuch nahi pata. Dr Ranganath ko bhi nahi. Lots of the PG students pounced on him but he, like the rest of us had no answer. (She looks at Nidhi with concern) Tum teek ho? Nidhi..(She shakes her gently)

Nidhi nods and gets up on unsteady feet to go to Ashu's cabin. Everything is left as it is..except..(Her glance takes in the whole room and stops at his table) the flower vase that she had kept a few days back is missing. Did you remove that one too? Kya hua? Aise bina bataye kyon chalegaye? Did my feelings towards you bother you so much? Is that why you left? Am I the reason behind all this? Am I the reason you left your father, KGH, patients, interns and PG students..ME..Did I force you into taking this step? Lekin meine toh kabhi koi shart nahi rakhi thi na ki aap mere pyaar ko kabool kare? Did you feel cornered? Is that why you left? But I never once..Or..do you like someone else? (She immediately rejects the idea) No..you would have told me point blank if that were the case. Aap ko mein jaanti hoon. (Her eyes fill up but she forcefully wipes them away) Why did I even open my mouth that day! Agar mein chup rehti toh shaayad aaj aap aisa nahi karte na. Sab meri wajah se hain. Lekin mein aur karti bhi kya? I am not the kind to forever hide my feelings. You should have just told me that you don't..that I should..Ab mein kya karu? Agar aap aise bina bataye chale jaayenge toh mein kaise batapaaungi aap ko ki..mein toh sirf..I just want to love you..I love you. Kaha chale gaye..yeh kaise pata chalega mujhe? (An idea strikes her) Baba..unka baba..Dr Mathur jaante honge ki woh kaha gaye..nahi..how do I ask him? He would think it odd na. I don't have the right to barge into their house and demand answers now, do I?

Ranga enters Ashu's cabin and looks at Nidhi with understanding eyes: Nidhi..(Startled, Nidhi looks up. He comes further into the cabin and closes the door) Nidhi..control yourself. Please. Sir has left and you need to accept that. Apna dard apne paas rakho. Isko bahut kam log samajhpaayenge Nidhi. Don't show it to the world. (Nidhi takes a deep shuddering breath and nods) Do you want me to call Anji? Or may be take an off for today..I will..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nX_9ylMytU

Nidhi shakes her head before he could complete: Nahi Ranganathji..I am fine. Give me 10 minutes and I will report to Dr Khanna. I assume he is the HOD for me right now? (Ranga nods and gives a gentle pat on her shoulder before leaving. Nidhi has no memory of how the rest of her shift and funtions purely on autopilot. She literally dumps the cases on Jyothika before signing off and leaving at 8. Everything that she has been bottling up since the afternoon bursts forth as soon as she enters her room and sees Anji sitting and waiting for her there. The flood gates open then as she hugs her childhood friend and cries her heart out. Anji lets her cry for as long as she needs to let everything out, wipes her tears, washes her face and gets her a tall glass of juice.)

Anji: Nidhi, sambhal apne aap ko. Sab kuch teek hojaayega.

Nidhi hiccups with her head resting in Anji's lap: Nahi Anji, he wouldn't leave and go off without a word like that. Why did he do that? Was I so bad that..

Anji: Shhh..chup. Aisa kisne kahaa tumse? May be he had some other reason na Nidhi..Koi emergency hue ho..

Nidhi shakes her head: No. It's got to do with me. I just know it. Something happened when I sang that song. I saw it in his face last night. He just got up and walked out. I should have known..I should have known that I was being too..(Anji silently pats her, lending her friend her silent unconditional support and silently praying that Nidhi would come out of this latest set back relatively unscathed.)

Delhi: Residence of Armaan:

Armaan knocks and enters the guest room: You need anything else Ashu?

Ashu continues to gaze out of the balcony: I am fine Armaan. Buss ek do din ki toh baat hain..since I have been accepted on the teaching side, AIIMS will be providing the accommodation. Armaan comes to stand beside him: Why do you want to stay somewhere else? You can stay with us na. Itna bada ghar hain..

Ashu shakes his head: Nahi Armaan. Mujhe galat mat samajhna yaar par mein akela rehna chaahta hoon.

Armaan walks back into the room and opens Ashu's carry on and takes out a carefully wrapped package: Taaki tum isko dekh dekh ke apna dil behlasako. Haina?

Ashu opens the bubble wrap. Inside is the flower vase that Nidhi had placed on his desk at KGH. After the HOD meeting and handing over process, he had gone into his cabin and picked it up. His fingers lovingly trace the intricate pattern on it: I could not leave it behind Armaan. She bought it for me..you know..I got a vase initially and then when I wanted her to stop putting the flowers, I took off the vase. She put them in a glass. I took off the glass and she got this one. Roz rakhti thi phool mere liye..it was her way of saying good morning I guess. You know she is an intern, right? (Armaan nods and continues to watch his friend lost in his own world of memories.) So her duty timings used to change. I used to keep track of her duties basing on when the flowers got changed. You know Armaan..I had decided long back that I will not marry. I will NOT have kids of my own. And I was fine with that. Never once I regretted taking that decision. Then'then one day, this girl entered my life. With her beautiful eyes and her teasing smile. Without realizing I started falling for her. Pyaar kab hua pata hi nahi chala yaar. Aur jab pata chala..(He runs a distracted hand through his hair) I tried everything that I could think of to make her back off but..

Armaan: Ashu..if she really loves you..

Ashu shakes his head: No Armaan. That's why I came here. Once I am out of the picture, she will not have anything to cling on to. She will give up and move on with her life. Get married, have kids of her..(His throat gets clogged up and pain rips his insides at that thought but he forces himself to go on) She will find someone else. She HAS to.

Armaan sighs: Chalo bhai..yeh bhi dekhlete hain. Ab chal..Maansi is calling us for dinner and Anjali wants you show you her plant project.

One month later:

CV calls Anji as soon as she walks into Nidhi's house: Anji beta..tumse kuch baat karni thi.

Anji: Ji boliye uncle.

CV and DB make her sit beside them: Beta, Nidhi ko hua kya hain? Na kissi se kuch teek se bolti hain na hasti hain na muskuraati hain..udaas rehti hain..

DB intervenes: Aur kitni patli hogayi hain meri bachchi. Lunch box lejaati hain aur aadhe din bina khaaye hi waapas laati hain..kehti hain time nahi hain.

CV: Aur ek mahine mein itne night shifts? Beta baat kya hain?

Anji sighs but tries to reassure: Kuch nahi uncle. I think uske PG exams ki wajah se thoda tense hain. Aur Nandini aunty ko bhi miss kar rahi hain shaayad. Aap fikr mat keejiye.

DB: Arre fikr kaise na kare Anji beta. She is so thin that she has started to look gaunt. She has dark circles under her eyes. She keeps prowling around the house most of the night. (Then she turns her now angry face to Yog) Iss sab ki wajah toh tum ho Yog! You shouldn't have joined her in that dactar college. Kya zaroorat thi..

CV starts to get irritated: Arre bua woh doctor banna chahti thi!

(Before Anji or DB could say more, Nidhi walks in. Everyone quieten down) Nidhi beta..aagayi tum? Chai peeyogi?

Nidhi looks her father with dull expressionless eyes: Nahi baba. Baad mein. Thodi der sona chaahti hoon. Thak gayi hoon. (She gives her tiffin box to CS and walks off into her room. Anji gestures to CV and DB that she would talk and quickly follows Nidhi. DB mumbles a silent prayer to Bajrangbali to help her bachchi. Anji comes into the room to find Nidhi come out of the rest room. Both friends sit on the bed and as has become the habit for the past one month, Nidhi puts her head in Anji lap and closes her eyes.)

Anji runs her hand through Nidhi's hair: Nidhi, ek baat boolu? (Nidhi nods) Jo bhi hota hain na apne bhale keliye hi hota hain. I understand what you are going through but you can't get distracted from your aim right now. Buddy you have to start pulling yourself together and think of your career. You have your PG exams coming up. You need make baba proud Nidhi..you need to fulfil Nandini maa's dream. Sambhaal apne aap ko. Meri dost Nidhi tootkar bikharne waalon mein se nahi hain. (Nidhi sits up straight and nods. Anji gives a relieved sigh to see a light of light back in her friend's eyes.) Now don't think about anything else. Clear your internship successfully and get a good rank in the PG exam. Baad ki baat baad mein sochenge.

Nidhi nods again: Tu sahi kehrahi hain Anji. I can't fall apart like this. I have to start preparing for my tests.

Anji: Aur tum dekhna one year from now you will think of all this and laugh ki tumne kabhi apne boss se..

Nidhi gets up swiftly: Nahi Anji. That's not going to happen and you know that's not going to happen. Today, tomorrow, a year or a decade from now, you ask me and you will get the same answer. I love him and for me, it's either him or no one. That's it. He wants to stay away from me..fine. That's his decision. But that is not going to change what I feel for him. (A lone tear slides down her cheek but she hastily wipes it away) You are right though. I should not break like this. I am not going to break. I won't break. My love for him will be my strength Anji, not my weakness.

Anji gets up to hug her friend: All the best buddy. You know I will be with you no matter what, right? (Nidhi nods and smiles a little for the first time in a month.)

That sets a definite path for Nidhi to follow in the upcoming months. She loses her lost girl look and starts putting her mind and heart into her profession and her studies. Jyothika, Priyanka and Rihaan, along with the most of the doctors at KGH realize her attempts to put her life back together and lend a hand in support. Soon, Dr Kothari, the OBG at KGH takes Nidhi under her wing making sure Nidhi doesn't overdo anything by using any and all tactics at hand from cajoling to outright threatening to kick her out of KGH if she doesn't take regular meals and proper breaks. Nidhi starts going to the library and doing night outs along with her friends. Even Dr Khanna notices and appreciates her dedication and intelligence. CV watches his daughter turn from a girl to a professional woman in front of his eyes and breathes a sigh of relief.

4 months later: Ashu's residence:

BB lifts the phone: Hello?

Ashu: Baba?

BB smiles: Ashu..kaisa hain mera bachcha?

Ashu, who is walking around in the campus looks up at the sky and the trees surrounding him. Pata nahi kaise jeeraha hoon baba. Woh kamra..yeh sheher..yeh din..yeh raaten..kaatne ko daudte hain. Ek ek din ek ek saal ki tarah lagta hain baba: Teek hoon baba. Aap kaise hain?

BB: I am fine beta. Missing you a lot. Hiraman bhi tumhe bahut yaad karta hain Ashu. Kab waapas aayega beta?

Ashu sighs: Pata nahi baba. Abhi tak kuch socha nahi.

BB notices the desolation in his son's voice: Beta..aisa kab tak chalega? Running away from the problem never solves the problem Ashutosh. (Ashu hears the sound of door bell) Ashu..hold on ok? Phone rakhna nahi. There is someone at the door.

Ashu: Mein yahi hoon baba. I will wait. (He hears the sound of the door being opened and his baba's delighted voice saying "Nidhi beti..tum? Aao aao andar aao." Everything in him comes to a standstill including his breath as he waits to hear her voice for the first time in 5 months.)

Nidhi tries her best to widen her smile but her cheeks seem to stiffen up: Namaste sir. Kaise hain aap? I am sorry if I am disturbing you. (Joy, pain, love..all emotions chase one another on Ashu's face and he tightens his hold on the phone and searches for a silent corner to avoid the noise of breeze.)

BB surreptiously glances at the phone in his hand before smiling at Nidhi: Arre no beta. Disturbance kaisa. Aaj toh Sunday bhi haina. Baito. HIRAMAN..Dekho toh kaun aaya hain. Kya logi beta..chai..coffee..

Nidhi shakes her head a little awkwardly and fiddles with the box in her hand while perching on the edge of the sofa: Ji nahi sir. Mein..woh..buss..(She swallows and wets her lips before getting up and extending the sweets box to BB) I cleared my internship yesterday sir. I thought..I just thought..I wanted to tell you that. (Ashu brings the phone to his lips and kisses it softly before whispering, "Congratulations Dr Nidhi Verma! I knew you would come out with flying colours. I am proud of you.")

BB places his phone casually on the table beside Nidhi: Wow! Ab Nidhi Dr Nidhi bangayi. (He shakes her hand before taking the sweet box and passing it on to Hiraman. Nidhi bends down to touch his feet and take his blessings.) Arre arre..yeh kya kar rahi ho beti..betiyan paav nahi chuti. God bless you and give you all the success and happiness in life. Meri Bhagwaan se yahi prarthna hain ki tumhaari dil ki har khwaaish poori ho Nidhi. (He sees Nidhi's wide, sad yet hopeful eyes searching the house.) Kisse doond rahi ho beta? (Ashu blinks to clear his vision. "You still think about me, do you? Why?")

Nidhi shakes her head: Ji..kuch nahi. Ab mein chalti hoon sir.

BB: Arre aise kaise? Chai toh peeke jao na..

Nidhi: Nahi sir. Phir kabhi. Abhi chalti hoon. (Ashu closes his eyes. "Thodi der aur ruk jao..talk for some more time Nidhi." Nidhi goes till the door before turning towards BB again) Sir..agar..I have a small request.

BB: Haan beti bolo.

Try as she might to hide, the painful longing that's her constant companion peeps out of her eyes: Ashutosh sir se aap ki baat ho toh unko bhi yeh news dedeejiyega.

BB smiles: Sure beta. I will do that. You take care. Ok?

Nidhi nods and leaves. BB looks at the phone once again before walking towards the kitchen. Let him think I have forgotten all about him being on the line. Aaj achanak match making ka bhoot chadgaya. Kya karen! Ashu cuts the call and immediately opens his contact list in the phone. He searches out Nidhi's number and clicks the edit button before replacing Nidhi with Dr Nidhi. One more touch and the name is changed and saved. Good luck Dr Nidhi. Apna khayaal rakhna.

3 months later: Coffee shop near AIIMS campus:

Ashu looks up from his coffee cup. Armaan is sitting right in front of him but Ashu's gaze falls on the man who has just walked into the coffee shop: Colnel Verma?

Armaan looks around: Kaun?

Ashu gestures towards CV: He is Nidhi's father. Col. Yograj Verma. Retired hain. He runs an orphanage.

Since it is a small coffee shop, CV also notices Ashu almost immediately and makes his way to him with a smile on his face. Both men get up and Ashu shakes hands with CV before introducing Armaan: Sir, aap yahan?

CV: Yeah..I had actually come to meet attend a wedding. One of my colleagues' son got married yesterday. Just stopped here for a cup of coffee before returning back to Lucknow.

Armaan: Please join us..if you don't mind that is.

CV: Sure. Thank you. Aap kya karte hain Mr Armaan? Or is it Dr Armaan? (CV takes his seat and orders a cappuccino for himself)

Armaan grins: I run a fashion house here and in Mumbai. So I am as far from medical field as I can get. (Before he could say more, his phone rings and he gets up and quickly excuses himself after checking the caller id.)

Ashu adjusts his glasses. Nidhi kaise hain? Kahaa hain? Kya kar rahi hain?: Aapka orphanage kaise chalraha hain?

CV nods in a satisfied way: Its going good. One batch left last month after completing their courses and getting jobs. They were anyway over 18..so..

Ashu: Oh..thats great. Did Nidhi give her PG test? Whats the result? She would have excelled na.. so all these kids cleared their 10^th?

CV: 2 of them cleared 12^th too.

Ashu: I will tell Armaan about your orphanage. His business circle is wide. He will surely pitch in. Has she moved on? Did she get married?

CV looks at Ashu with a smile: Oh that would be really great. Thank you so much Dr Ashutosh. (A few seconds of pause as both men sip their coffee) Toh..aap yahaa kaise?

Ashu: I am teaching at AIIMS currently. I took a sabbatical at KGH a few months back.

CV nods: Yes. Nidhi told me you were on a sabbatical. She said she didn't know any other details. So, you like the teaching aspect of your profession?

Ashu shrugs: It's good. I never thought I would actually enjoy it but..(Another shrug before Ashu makes his voice completely neutral) How is Nidhi doing?

CV: She is doing well. Cleared her internship and got a good rank in PG test too. She chose MD Paediatrics.

Ashu's face lights up and a genuine smile replaces the polite one: She loves kids, right? (CV nods pleased that his daughter created such a good impression among her seniors) So it's a great thing. I am sure she will become a fantastic paediatrician. (He looks at Yog with the smile still lingering in his eyes) It's really wonderful news Col. Verma.

CV gets a faraway look on his face: Haan bhi aur nahi bhi.

Ashu frowns: Matlab? Mein kuch samjha nahi.

CV runs a hand over his bald head, hesitates a little but decides to express his concern: Nidhi..has changed Dr Ashutosh. She doesn't laugh like before..it sounds artificial now..as if she hiding her tears in her laughter. Ya toh college, ya hospital, ya uski dost Anji. Buss.

Ashu looks away and clears his throat a couple of times before talking: May be she is missing her mom sir.

CV shakes his head: I thought so initially. Lekin nahi Ashutosh..kuch aur baat hain. You know..she got admission in Kanpur medical college too. It's considered one of the best colleges in UP but she refused to go and joined at KGH itself. (Then as if suddenly realizing that he is talking to the dean of KGH,) I mean..not that KG medical college is not great but..

Ashu: I understand. Didn't you talk to her about this?

CV: I did. We have always been open with each other. She said "Kuch kehne keliye hain hi nahi toh mein kya bolu baba." Bua..I mean..my aunt and Nidhi's dadibua wants her to get married. Do teen kaafi achche rishte bhi aaye the. (He shakes his head) Manaa kardiya usne. Kehti hain shaadi nahi karni hain. She and DB have regular fights over this. For the first time I am unable to know or judge her feelings. I am sorry..lagta hain mein kuch zyaada bolgaya. I was just..

Ashu: Please don't apologize.

Armaan comes back pocketing his phone: Sorry about that. (And they chat for a while. Armaan collects all the information about the orphanage and promises to pay a visit the next time he is in Lucknow along with the assurance that he would share the information with his friends. Ashu, although is participating in the conversation, Armaan observes that his friend's mind was miles away. Soon, CV takes leave from them both and moves away.) Ashu..you ok?

Ashu locks his jaw: Nidhi..

Armaan: Kya hua Nidhi ko?

Ashu: She has not moved on.

Armaan expression is that of a cat who got the bowl full of cream: I told you didn't I?

Ashu: I went through hell..am going through hell and for what Armaan? Jiskeliye meine yeh faisla liya hain woh toh..

Armaan: Tumse pyaar karti hain Ashu. She loves you. And she is waiting for you. Kya kar raha hain yaar? (Armaan leans forward and grabs Ashu's hands) Dekh Ashu..tera jo bhi problem hain..issue hain..tu jaake batade usko. TALK to her. And let HER decide. Ab yeh tum dono ke zindagi ka sawaal hain yaar..faisla tu akela mat le. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to you either.

Ashu: Par..meri umr?

Armaan smiles: Usse ab tak toh koi farak nahi pada hain toh aage kya padega?

A single ray of hope shines out of his eyes for the first time: Can I..Can I go back?

Armaan grins and slaps his shoulder: Meri jaan, tu beeta hua kal nahi hain jo phir na aasake. Soch mat Ashu..ja.

Exactly one week later:

BB lifts the phone: Haan Ashu..bol beta.

Ashu: Baba..I am coming back.

BB gets up from his chair: SACH? Kab?

Ashu: Kal subah.

CHAPTER 8 REVIEW

Finally I am on time..😆..vaise any specific reason for being in a good mood today??

Nidhi's Ranganathji cracked me up 🤣..

Nahi Ranganathji..I am fine.

That was the only comic relief in the otherwise emotional and heartbreaking chapter..

But i am glad that lambi judaai came and went in this chapter itself..ab to agar CV bhi juda karenge toh..koi gam nhi..

Jab bina kisi promises aur commitment ke dono ek dusre ke liye jee rahe hain..toh after they give a name to their feelings..confess them..they'll surely be together..and I don't think Ashu will leave her again after all this..but maybe CV can take Nidhi away?? Very confused with this aspect..best idea..ghar se bhaag ke shaadi kara do😆..

the flower vase that she had kept a few days back is missing. Did you remove that one too? Kya hua? Aise bina bataye kyon chalegaye? Did my feelings towards you bother you so much? Is that why you left? Am I the reason behind all this? Am I the reason you left your father, KGH, patients, interns and PG students..ME..Did I force you into taking this step? Lekin meine toh kabhi koi shart nahi rakhi thi na ki aap mere pyaar ko kabool kare? Did you feel cornered? Is that why you left? But I never once..Or..do you like someone else? (She immediately rejects the idea) No..you would have told me point blank if that were the case. Aap ko mein jaanti hoon. (Her eyes fill up but she forcefully wipes them away) Why did I even open my mouth that day! Agar mein chup rehti toh shaayad aaj aap aisa nahi karte na. Sab meri wajah se hain. Lekin mein aur karti bhi kya? I am not the kind to forever hide my feelings. You should have just told me that you don't..that I should..Ab mein kya karu? Agar aap aise bina bataye chale jaayenge toh mein kaise batapaaungi aap ko ki..mein toh sirf..I just want to love you..I love you. Kaha chale gaye..yeh kaise pata chalega mujhe? (An idea strikes her) Baba..unka baba..Dr Mathur jaante honge ki woh kaha gaye..nahi..how do I ask him? He would think it odd na. I don't have the right to barge into their house and demand answers now, do I

Nidhi's pain..made me cry😭😭😭

She is already broken because he has left her but to top it all knowing that she is the reason behind it is too much too take..

Aapko main jaanti hun part came out with loads of conviction..the helplessness, the despair, the gloom that surrounds her at that moment took my heart away..

The punch was that she was unsure of herself, but not for a single moment was unsure of her love..she loves him and that is it..

Also her courage is worth salute..shattered into pieces but not backing away from her duties, her responsibilities..that makes me respect her more..

Again Anji, Nidhi scenes were heart wrenching..though, Anji s offering her unconditional support..but seeing her friend cum sister fall apart like that must have torn her..

Liked the way, Anji was her constant emotional anchor, not letting her ship sink..Anji motivating Nidhi to put her life back together was worth applause..Nidhi is definitely in pain..and Anji is her support throughout..but how is Anji coping up?? 8 months is a long time..Is she relying on Ranga??Has there relationship progressed??

Ashu..what should I say about him..

He can't see her move on..but wants her to..he can't see her love someone else but wants her to..his pain has taken all together different bounds.. But he isn't realizing that he is trying to push his breath away..

When Ashu said that she won't have anything to cling to..he didn't realize that we don't just cling to people but their memories, their feelings..we cling to something that we believe in..so how can he expect Nidhi not to believe in her love??? Not to cling to her love???

Ashu couldn't leave behind the flower vase behind because she bought it for him..but he left the person behind.. that was a brilliant addition..

Even after leaving her, his Kashmakash, his inner turmoils aren't leaving him..

CV and Baba were again too good.. Two fathers saddened to see their son/daughter's sadness..but can't do anything to remove it..felt for CV because he isn't aware of the reason that's bothering his daughter..its tough for a parent to see their child like this..

I was wondering whether Anji would blurt out the truth..But she didn't..its good in a way..because it could have posed problems now..and bad because it will pose problems later on..and the latter version seems more threatening..

CV, Ashu meeting was superb..Ashu's self thoughts all the while regarding Nidhi was beautifully portrayed..it was a she loves me..she loves me not situation.whether he should ask about Nidhi or not..

So, finally Ashu ke dimaag ki batti jali.. He is willing to give himself a chance..willing to give them a chance..

And the last line..

Exactly one week later:

BB lifts the phone: Haan Ashu..bol beta.

Ashu: Baba..I am coming back.

BB gets up from his chair: SACH? Kab?

Ashu: Kal subah.

Waiting eagerly for next part..will he come back?? Will they meet?? And theirs actions and reactions?? Can't wait..bring it quick..

P.S. i want the nomination for fastest and longest review this time..😆..but that doesn't mean I am gonna let go of draamebaaz title😆..