Chapter Eighteen
Dr Kothari looks up from the reports with a small smile: So, Nidhi? Everything fine otherwise? Morning sickness kaisa hain?
Nidhi: Not too much ma'am. A couple of salt crackers and I am fine. (Her resigned disappointed eyes once again look at the door as if unwilling to completely give up hope.)
Dr K makes the notes in her file: Nothing to worry. Good heart beat. Basing on your LMP and the scan, your EDD is March 29th. (She looks up) Where is Dr Ashutosh? OT?
Nidhi: I think so. He said he might not be able to make it.
Dr K nods: Life of a doctor. Ok. Here is the file. Check up every 4 weeks for the first 2 trimisters and once every 2 weeks during the last trimester. When are your finals? Will it clash?
Nidhi: Not unless the tests get postponed ma'am. They are scheduled in the first week of March.
Dr K: Its not going to be easy. But I don't think you need to worry too much. Your husband is an excellent teacher, isn't he? I attended his class once. He literally held the whole room spellbound for those 90 minutes.
Despite the low mood, a fierce sense of pride glows out of Nidhi's face. She quickly thanks Dr K and makes her way home.
Dr Rishab's clinic:
Dr R's eyes follow Ashu's restless slow pacing in the cabin. Its as if he is not able to sit in one place. Restless mind..restless body: So you skipped the appointment. Why?
Ashu swallows: I don't know. I just..didn't want to.
Dr R: You think seeing the evidence of the baby heart beat will trigger your temper?
Ashu: Yes..no..I don't know. I just..I never wanted to be a father. I didn't want a repeat of history.
Dr R: Are you sure your father's behaviour changed only after you were born? That he was not like that before?
Ashu gets a faraway look on his face: Ma once told me he always had issues with his temper.
A few moments of silence before Dr R probes: She never thought to leave him? Take you away with her and start over?
Ashu turns away from the doctor. Sweat beads on his forehead but he forces himself to continue: I asked her that once. I came home from school one day. She came out of..their room..and..and..closed the door behind her before coming to me and hugging me tightly to her thin body. I saw..I saw the..the..bite marks on her neck..her..(His sentence breaks before he shudders, locks his jaw and continues) her blouse was torn near the shoulder..tear tracks on her cheeks..she hastily adjusted her sari and rubbed her face before smiling at me. I asked her, "ma, yahaa se chalte hain na. Kahi aur. Bahut door. Mein promise karta hoon..mein aapko trouble nahi karoonga..help karoonga. Chalte hain na ma." (His breath hiccups in.) She looked at me with resigned eyes and said, "kahaa jaayenge beta? I don't have any family of my own. Aur mein toh sirf 12th pass hoon. Kaun dega mujhe naukri?" Then she hugged me again and said, "Aur phir tumhe padaake ek bahut bada aadmi bananahain na. Everyone should respect you and look up to you. Hain na." Then I asked her, "Tab chalogi aap mere saath? Bahut door?" She cried, laughed and squeezed me so tight before nodding. "Haan beta. I will come with you then. We will go off." "Promise ma." She nodded again before getting up to give me milk and biscuits. (His trembling hands pick up the water bottle and empty it in one go. Dr R waits, giving him time to come out of that.) I told Nidhi..I offered to give her a divorce but..she refused. But that was before her family reconciled with her Ashutosh. She didn't HAVE anywhere to go then. Things have changed now na. (He staggers back as another fear takes hold of him..choking him.)
That night:
Nidhi turns in her chair at the work table to the sound of foot steps, sees her husband standing at the threshold, tries to smile at him before continuing with her notes: Aap aagaye? Surgery kaisa tha?
Ashu's pain filled eyes take in the way she is hiding her face and hurt from him. His anger and disgust with himself raises up a few more notches. Spineless coward! That's what you are! Cha!: How was the appointment? Everything ok? (Nidhi nods) BP, weight, sab teek? (Another nod but this time her smile when she turns to face him is more genuine.) Scan report aagaya? (She nods cautiously. He swallows before stiffening his spine) Can I see it? (Her face as bright as the moon on a full moon night, she picks the file from the table and goes to him. He takes it and goes through all the details with a fine tooth comb.) Placenta, umbilical cord, size, sab normal hain. (His facial muscles visibly relax as he meets her eyes for the first time that day.) I am sorry Nidhi.
Nidhi puts both her arms around his waist and rests her head on his chest: Its ok. Don't worry about it.
Ashu smiles sadly as his fingers comb through her hair: No. Its not. (He pulls her away from him a little and cups her face in his palms.) Nidhi..ab tumhaare baba aur DB bhi aagaye haina..do you want to go to your house? (Seeing her about to take a step back, he hastily continues) I mean..thode din keliye..shaayad tumhaare baba ko bhi achcha lage..
Nidhi cuddles up to him once again: I go there almost every day na..college ke baad. Kyon? Apni biwi se abhise thak gaye?
Ashu tightens his arms around her almost squeezing the breath out of her: Nahi Nidhi. Don't think that. Don't ever think that. I just..I thought..Nidhi..this is the time when a woman is pampered by her husband. And here I am, running away at the mere mention of..
Nidhi kisses him over his rapidly thudding heart: I know what you thought. Aur kaun kehta hain ki aap mujhe pamper nahi karte? You hired a driver for me, hardly allow me to lift or carry my own books, get me my hot chocolate every night..itna pyaar karnewaala pati kismatwaalon ko milta hainji. (Ashu huffs out a sarcastic laugh making her growl) Don't! Mere pati ke baare mein ek lafz bhi kahaa toh khabardaar! Mujhse bura koi nahi hoga. (She pushes him towards their room.) Now go and have your shower. Khaana khaate hain. I am hungry.
The next three months pass with Ashu attending more sessions with Dr Rishab. Each time Nidhi wanted to accompany and each time Ashu vetoed it. Its not that he didn't want to share his past with her. But more like he didn't think she could bear to see him literally fall apart while relating all the horror. Baring one's soul is not easy but what once started as a small trickle, is now a full fledged flow, the dam completely broken, where Ashu lets out all that he went through, all that his mom went through in the hands of his father. All his fears, insecurities, loneliness and worthlessness that he felt during that period comes poring out in front of Dr Rishab. The pain at the reliving and the relief of letting it out, both are indescribeable. Each session digs and probes into the wounds of childhood that were never healed as Dr Rishab tries to give the incidences an objective view and logically points out the differences between the father and son. And at the end of every session, he comes back home to literally fall into the arms of his wife. The solace he finds there is something he has never experienced before and no matter how low or down he felt, she always managed to draw out a smile and a laugh from him.
Nidhi's pregnancy also progresses. She enters into her second trimester with her gaining a little bit of weight and starting to show a little. The mood swings and nausea fade but with the long hours in the college and the night shifts and duties in the hospital, body ache becomes a constant companion for her and sometimes even the feet and ankles start swelling. DB goes on an all out pampering mode with CV right behind her. If one day Nidhi doesn't come to their house on her way back home, both of them drop in at Mathur residence. Their stay usually gets prolonged until after dinner. But for her, nothing beats the foot and back massages given by her husband every night. The first time he saw her feet all swollen, he had made her lie back on the bed against the pillows and took her foot in his hand. Startled, she immediately drew back with a slightly horrified expression on her face: Yeh kya kar rahe hain?
Ashu: Your feet are swollen na. I will apply some Vaseline and massage them. Keep them elevated. Subah tak you will feel better.
Nidhi: Its ok. I will do it myself. Aap chodiye na.
Ashu had looked at her with a serious expression on his face: Kyon Nidhi?
Nidhi: Nahi..woh..
Ashu had lifted her foot slightly before taking her toe in his mouth and biting it softly. She fell back on the pillows with a moan: You like it when I do that, don't you?
Nidhi arches her back slightly: Oh I love it! Don't stop. Please Chweetu..do it again na.
Wordlessly, he places both her feet on a pillow and gets the Vaseline and starts applying it to her feet: If I can do that and you can enjoy it, why can't I do this so that you can relax?
And she didn't protest anything that he did after that and on a few occasions actually put both her feet in his lap demanding a massage. Anything she wanted, she got it in minutes. Her wish became her command in the house to the extent that DB rolled her eyes and had said yeh kuch zyaada hi horaha hain. The only thing that brought tears to Nidhi's eyes was he never came anywhere near the baby..never talked about it..and literally left the room the first time she had joyful felt the baby movements and placed his hand on her tummy to show him. But the fact that after the first couple of times, he has started accompanying her to the monthly check ups is a ray of sunshine for her. She had even gone to meet Dr Rishab one on one who had patiently reassured her that it will take time but Ashutosh is sure to come around. He is fighting his fears tooth and nail. The demons were his constant companions for almost 35 years. They are not going to leave him in a day or a week. Gathering courage and patience like a cloak around her, she nods and leaves the clinic to go to her baba's house. DB welcomes her with open arms and right on cue, CS gets her a tall glass of milk to which she makes a face but drinks without complaint before lying down with her head in DB's lap.
DB runs an affectionate hand through her hair: Meri bachchi..kuch khaayegi? Mein banau tereliye kuch?
Nidhi: DB, mujhe na sevpuri chahiye. (DB kisses Nidhi's forehead before getting up and placing a pillow for Nidhi to lie down before shouting for CS and going off into the kitchen. A few minutes later, Anji walks in and both friends start yapping) Aur bata..exam preparation kaisa chalraha hain?
Anji: Going on ok. Saasuma (Nidhi grins and Anji pinches her before continuing) Saasuma is waiting for me to finish my exams so that she can take me shopping. Yaar..she wants me to buy those huge huge jewellery stuff.
Nidhi giggles: I can see you now actually. Huge zari silk sari, ghoonghat, decked up in gold and diamonds..waah Anji!
Anji growls: Chupkaregi ya karvaau? (She sighs) Honestly, God knows what I am going to do. Mujhe toh teri tarah khana pakana bhi teekse nahi aata.
Nidhi pats her friend's shoulder: Don't worry. I have started writing a recipe book for you. Simple instructions and tasty dishes. Shaadi mein gift karoongi.
Anji: Thank you. Aur? (Nidhi frowns) Aur kya milnewaala hain gift mujhe? Don't tell me that's the only wedding gift I am going to get. (She makes a move to throttle Nidhi.)
Nidhi giggles and backs: Arre nahi yaar. Your jeejaji has something planned.
Anji: Kya hain? Bolna yaar kya hain..Nidhi..Nidhi..meri achchiwali Nidhi..bolna kya hain.
Nidhi wriggles her eyebrows: Guess na..
Anji thinks: Something from Armaanji's fashion house? (Nidhi shakes her head) Jewellery? (another no. Anji snaps her fingers) Titan watch set! (another no. Anji sighs in defeat) Batana yaar.
Nidhi: Two nights in Vivanta Taj..honeymoon suite. (Anji's mouth opens and closes like a fish without a sound coming out. Nidhi shakes her.)
Anji: You are kidding! Sachchi? But why? I mean..that..thats too much Nidhi..too expensive. Why did you say ok to that?
Nidhi grimaces a little as her back protests and changes her position: Expense ki baat chodo Anji. He gets angry whenever I get that topic. And its not relevant here. You guys have not planned your honeymoon as yet..and you only keep saying na..that he is your jeejaji and brother rolled into one. Toh phir?
Anji: Nahi..mera woh matlab nahi tha. But..
Nidhi takes Anji's hand in hers: Anji, itna mat soch. Do your exams well, get married and enjoy your stay. Begin your marriage with joyful days and nights and take it from there. And thank God your wedding date is AFTER my delivery, warna mein kuch bhi na karpaati. So there is still lot of time.
Anji hugs Nidhi and pulls back when she feels the baby kick. She places her palm on Nidhi's tummy: I can feel it. Wow! (Her smile slowly fades) Jeeju..how is he taking all this re? Any change? Woh sessions kaise chalrahe hain?
Nidhi smiles a little: He is much better. He comes with me for the monthly check up now and pesters Dr K with all kinds of questions until she loses her patience and politely tells him to leave. I think she has started to dread my check ups.
Anji: But he didn't come to the second scan, did he?
Nidhi shakes her head and sighs: No. But he doesn't allow me to skip the prenatals even for a day. Massages my feet and back every night. You know..the other day he saw that I was having trouble climbing up the stairs everyday and yesterday by the time I returned from the college, he shifted our room to the ground floor along with my books and stuff. If I am too tired to study, he reads out and makes me just listen. (She gets up to stand near the window and stare outside) He wants me to finish the MD and start working soon. He wants me to have my own income..be independent. Anji..he even opened a couple of FDs on my name last week. You know..I think its to do with his ma. The fact that she had no choice BUT to stay with that monster because she had no means to support herself.
Anji comes to stand beside her: So its still all about you. He is still not talking about his child. What will you do if this goes on Nidhi? What if..?
Nidhi shakes her head: I have seen him with Anjali. That girl adores him. He loves kids. Right now the fear still is the foremost in his mind. But soon..soon..his love for his child will break that fear. Tum dekhna Anji. It will happen. (Both friends hug and giggle as DB's screeching at CS reaches their ears.)
Anji covers her mouth as if suddenly remembering: Taj? Seriously? Oh my God..oh my God! I am off to call Ranganath now. He is going to faint. Give my jeeju a smacking kiss on my behalf..that at least I am sure you are going to do. (She winks and runs away before Nidhi can hit her.)
A few more weeks roll by on the same note and soon Nidhi enters into her third trimester. Her once brisk walk slows down and slowly turns into a waddle. She starts getting impatient and irritable as everything including bath and dressing takes double the time. Ashu shifts his wardrobe back upstairs so that his routine also doesn't get delayed. His sessions with Dr Rishab continue although they get tapered down to once a week. But in all this, one thing does not change. Their sleeping arrangement. He still sleeps beside her..with only one change. She turns her back to him and after giving her the back rub and making sure she is asleep, he hugs her from behind and slides off into sleep with his palm between her cheek and pillow and his face hidden in the fragrance of her hair.
One morning:
Nidhi looks at Ashu from where she is arranging her college bag: Aaj mera check up hain.
Ashu nods: I know. I already marked it in my calendar. I will be there.
Nidhi hesitates before continuing: I am scheduled for scan too. (BB looks up to see his son's reaction..hoping and praying for a positive sign. Every time his son backed away from Nidhi's pregnancy, his insides twisted at the pain he saw in his daughter in law's eyes. Poor girl. Choosing something and living with thoses choices sometimes is so difficult. She is brave and an ever optimist but..how long would this go on? Expectant mothers want to share this joy..especially the first time around..with the father. Bhagwaan! Yeh kya kar raha hain tu! Kya kasoor hain iss bachchi ka?) So you come by 5. I will get it done before that and we can go meet Dr K from there. Chalti hoon baba. (She looks at Ashu once again) Chale? (He nods and both of them leave together. BB sighs and goes inside to get ready for his own work at JS.)
Evening: Around 4.30: KGH Diagonostic centre:
Technician gestures to Nidhi: You ready ma'am?
Nidhi nods and slowly makes her way to the table. Just as she makes a move to support her palms on it to climb up, a hand reaches out to hold hers and help her get on it. A moment later, her stunned eyes meet that of Ashu's. He gives her a small smile and takes in the dawning of bright joy and delight on her face. Her lips tremble a little before stretching into her usual beautiful smile. Wordlessly, she tightens her grip on his palm and gets on the table before sliding back and lying down. The fact that the dean has come causes a flurry of activity around the staff as one runs around to fetch a chair and another offers him a cup of tea. Shaking his head to both, he turns and touches his thumb to her cheek: Ready? (She nods vigorously and the technician, after helping Nidhi adjust her clothing, spreads the gel over the abdomen. Nidhi feels the dampness in his palm but he neither relinquishes his hold on her nor does his eyes move away from the screen. She also turns to look at the screen which initially is just hazy before stabilizing and showing a clear picture of their baby. An involuntary smile graces his lips before a soft laugh escapes.) Sucking the thumb Nidhi. (Nidhi kisses Ashu's hand that's gripping hers without taking her eyes away from the screen and nods with a tearful grin. Both of them try to determine the sex of the baby but the baby refuses to budge from the crouched position even when the technician gently prods and tries to push.) Not moved an inch. Ziddi. Looks like its going to be a surprise. What do you think..boy or girl?
Nidhi's voice refuses to cooperate as her throat completely clogs up. He is here..talking about the child..smiling at the scan image..first time and such a huge milestone that he has crossed. (Nidhi closes her eyes as emotions overwhelm her.) He has come such a long way..faced the fears of a lifetime and is coming out with flying colours. I probably can't even comprehend what kind of nightmarish existence his childhood was full of, but can imagine the amount of courage it must have taken for him to even think of taking this leap of faith. His love has finally won over his fear. God! Thank you. and please guide me. Let me be his strength. Never let me falter or lose my patience. Let my love for him make him stronger. Let it make ME stronger. (Seeing that he is still waiting for her answer, she swallows and speaks): It doesn't matter to me.
The technician grins as she hands over the napkin for Nidhi to clean up: Tall baby hain sir. Shaayad ladka hoga. Apne papa aur dada ki tarah.
Nidhi smiles with a nod a moment before the jerk of Ashu's body registers. The technician had referred to BB when she referred "dada" but for Ashu, it just managed to bring back everything that he ever wanted to forget. But he handles the rest of the evening with remarkable composure and accompanies her to the check up. She gives him worried glances in between but his usual stoic face doesn't reveal even an inch. He even manages to smile back at her and once they reach home, even shares the news with a jubilant BB and HK.
BB hugs and pats Ashu's back a couple of times: I am proud of you beta. Achcha sunn..aaj Sarojji aayi thi yahaa. Nidhi ka 7th month shuru hogaya hain na. Godhbharai ka function karvake she wants to take Nidhi to her maika for the delivery.
Ashu frowns and steps back: Abhi?
BB: Abhi matlab ABHI nahi..koi achcha sa muhurat dekhke..aur phir humaare ghar koi aurat bhi toh nahi hain..Nidhi needs someone with her from now on na.
Ashu looks at Nidhi, who shakes her head: Dekhte hain baba. Baad mein sochte hain. (They quickly freshen up and have their dinner before settling down for the night. Ashu gives her the foot massage and filled with a kind of restlessness, goes into the study to browse some medical journals.)
"Papa..nahi..papa nahi..mat maaro papa..papa dukhta hain papa..I am sorry. Mein phir cricket nahi kheloonga." "Shut up! You know what you are? A dumb useless kid who can't do anything right. I will teach you what happens when you do something like this ever again. This is your bat, right? You hit that ball with this bat right?" (The room transforms into the study room with the papers and books scattered all over the floor.) "You planned this? I trusted you and look where the trust got me!" (Image again overlaps into his house during childhood)Yeh aap kya kar rahe hain..bachcha hain chodiye. Aaahh..Ashu BHAAG beta, BHAAG! Go! Aaah Nahi! Beta..RUN..HIDE..meraaa Beetaaa..(Another voice intrudes) Just like his papa and dada. (And right in front of his eyes he sees himself with a bat hitting someone..his face twisted in anger. He shakes himself and his stunned gaze takes in the blood splattered all around the room including the ceiling..the face of a small terror stricken boy hiding under the table..the face is completely unfamiliar..his startled gaze swings to that of the woman grotesque, motionless in front of him ..NIDHI!)
Ashu is jerked out of the nightmare with his own horror filled voice echoing through the walls..NIDHI! He looks around the neatly tidied study room and the white ceiling above before turning his fearful gaze to his own hands. He rubs them over his track pants as if to make himself believe that there is no bat or blood..BLOOD! NIDHI! He runs down through the steps, fairly leaping through the last four and barges into the downstairs bedroom before coming to a shuddering halt. His sweat drenched face takes in the almost motionless figure of his wife on the bed. With tremours wracking his whole body and dreading each step, he goes closer to her. He gets down on his knees and brings on shivering finger to her nose to check her breathing. Not reassured enough, he places to fingers to her neck to check her pulse. The reassuring beat there almost makes him collapse completely in relief.
Nidhi frowns at the feel of his fingers on her neck and groggily opens her eyes. A moment of confusion ensues in her as she takes in his pale face and tear filled eyes before she jerks awake completely. Her palms cup his face: Chweetu? Kya hua? Kya hua mere Chweetu ko?
Slowly awareness and realisation creeps back into his eyes: Ni..dh..i..(His fingers grip her hair and he smothers her face, neck and shoulders with desperate kisses. There is not an ounce of desire in them. Just a desperate need to reassure himself of her vital presence..right here..right beside him..with him..touching him..looking at him with the same bright love filled eyes. Nidhi keeps quiet and lets him take his fill of her. she runs her palms over his hair, shoulders and back silently soothing him. Soon though, he pulls away) You are ok, right? Tum teek ho? The baby is ok? The baby got scared?
Nidhi shakes her head: Chweetu..no. Why would the baby be scared? (She pulls him back forcefully into her arms) Aap ho na humaare saath. Why would the baby be scared? What happened? Koi bura sapna tha?
Ashu pulls away again: Can you feel the baby? Is it moving? Answer me. Its moving right? Its doing fine, right? (He places his palm over her tummy for a few seconds before giving her a terrified look) Why is it not moving? Is something wrong? Did I do something and you are not telling me?
Nidhi sits up and pulls him up on the bed..by now the worry fully evident in her too: Chweetu..what are you saying? Of course the baby is fine. Uske baba hain na usko protect karnekeliye. You need to wait. Give me your hand. (She takes his wrist and puts his palm once again on her tummy and holds it immobile for a couple of moments. Sure enough, the baby rolls and gives a solid kick to Ashu's palm. Her face lights up despite the worry.) Dekha..its saying hi to you. (Another kick on the same place and in an almost involuntary gesture, he starts rubbing her tummy as if trying to sooth the child.) Ab dekhiye..the baby is saying I love you baba. (She hugs him tightly and feels his arms slowly creep and wrap themselves around her bulging tummy.) Nightmare? (He gives a jerky nod) Want to tell me about it? (He shakes his head) Is it about me and our baby? (Silence. She gives him a slow long passionate kiss until she feels his body relaxing and the tension holding him tight loosens its hold on him) Kuch nahi hoga. As long as you are there with us, nothing will happen to us. YOU won't let anything happen. (She gives him a glass of water to drink, makes him lie back down on the bed. He closes his eyes to the vision of her eyes raining down love at him and she softly keeps running her fingers in his hair until sleep claims him.)
Next day morning (Sunday):
Nidhi wakes up later than usual to the voices of her DB and her baba. She hastily freshens up before going out only to come to a halt at the scene before her. Her home now looked like some kind of marriage venue with all the decorations and floral arrangements. DB is busy talking to the pandit and jotting down points in a book. CV is talking over the phone and instructing them to make sure motichur laddoo are also included. BB is busily talking to CS and HK with CS making his own list and HK nodding to everything that BB is saying and giving his own set of instructions to CS in parallel. Before she could open her mouth to ask what kind of Alice in wonderland has she landed in, Shyama and Anji walk in with huge baskets and bags contains God knows what and DB almost gestures them to go ahead and arrange everything: Yeh..yeh sab kya hain?
DB's face is wreathed in smiles as she stops talking to the pandit and walks up to her: Tu utgayi meri bachchi? Ja..jaake jaldi se dood peeke kuch khaale. Mehendi waale aate honge.
Nidhi rolls her eyes: DB, baat kya hain?
Shyama laughs: Nidhi..aaj tumhaari godbharai hain.
Nidhi: Aaj?
CV nods: Subah subah Ashutosh ka phone aaya. He came to know that your DB wants to do this function so wanted to know the plans. Bua called pandit toh patachala ki aaj bada hi shubh din hain..aur Sunday bhi. Hum toh ghabragaye..sab kuch itni jaldi kaise hoga yeh sochke.
DB looks at Ashu getting down from the steps and her face lights up: Par mera damaad babu hain hi itna achcha. He said not worry and that just tell him what needs to be done and he will make sure it gets done on time. Buss..hogaya faisla. (She kisses Nidhi's cheek) Aur toh aur..godbharai ke turant baad mein apni bachchi ko apne saath lejaaungi. Haan.
Nidhi's shocked eyes meet Ashu's, who looks away from her with a guilty flush staining his cheeks: Mein abhi aati hoon DB. (She turns and waddles back into their room and a few moments later, feels Ashu entering it and closing the door softly behind him.) You don't want me with you any more. (No preamble..straight to the heart of the matter.)
Ashu comes to stand in front of her: Is that what you think?
Nidhi: Whatelse do you want me to think?
Ashu runs a distracted hand through his hair: Nidhi..I just..I want you to be safe Nidhi.
Nidhi folds her hands and turns away from him: Safe from what? From whom? You? My finger gets hurt while cutting vegetables and you don't allow me near the cutter for a whole week. I burn my hand while making pakodas and you didn't eat them that day. I get a fever and you panic as if its some kind of life threatening situation. I stumble and you worry. I skip my vitamins and you tag behind me everyday until I take them. And you want me to be safe from you.
Ashu turns her around to face him and cups her cheeks to look into her tear filled eyes: Nidhi..I know I should probably have discussed this with you but please..try to understand. I can't take a chance where your safety is concerned.
A lone tear escapes and trickles down her cheek only to be stopped by his thumb: And you will get that reassurance with me out of this house? Out of..out of your life?
Ashu closes her mouth with his lips: No..not out of my life. Never that. Its just for a few weeks Nidhi. Please? Meri khaatir?
Both of them hug each other as tightly as possible with her protruding belly. The baby gives a kick at being squashed. And contrary to all the other times that he stepped away, this time, he places his hand on her tummy and rubs it softly as if trying to reassure both the baby and himself. And as if understanding that, the baby turns once and stops the kicking. Nidhi looks up with a tentative smile: Yeh toh abhi se baba ki laadli bangayi. (Ashu also tries to smile and lessen the tense atmosphere.) Toh aaj hi jaana hain mujhe? (He nods if a little reluctantly) Aap mujhe chodne aayenge? (Another nod) Wahaa jaane ke baad..roz milne aayenge?
He kisses her forehead: Yeh bhi koi poochne ki baat hain?
Nidhi: Pakka wada?
Ashu traces her face with his lips before landing on her lips. Both of them try to quench their thirst even before the draught had actually begun: Pakka wada Nidhi. Pakka wada.
DB shouts from outside: Nidhi..dood peele beta!
Nidhi shouts back: Ji aayi..do minute. (And turns back to her husband.) Ek aur waada chahti hoon aapse. (Ashu waits) Delivery ke baad mein seedha hospital se yahi aajaungi. Aap na nahi kahenge..koi bahaana banake phir mujhe apne se alag nahi karenge. (She looks at him with the usual stubborn glint in her eyes as if daring his fear to intrude.)
Ashu takes her hand in his and joins their palms: Wada karta hoon Nidhi.
From that point on, the function takes over everyone. Despite the short notice, the whole thing takes on a grand scale with friends and relatives literally pouring in from every direction to bless and give all kinds of gifts to the would be mother. Even Armaan and Maansi arrive along with Anjali and BB laughingly comments that now the house and the function both seem actually grand. Ashu just tries to keep himself out of the way as much as possible except in trying to make sure that his wife is not over exerting herself and after a couple of hours, goes for his last minute appointment with Dr Rishab, for which Armaan also accompanies, although waits outside in the lounge. Dr Rishab patiently listens to everything that has happened and sets about reassuring him once again: Ashutosh, you are not your father. You may look like him but you are not him. You chose a profession in which compassion is the foundation. You don't even enjoy watching violent movies. It's the first time you went to the scan and saw your baby. Then the comment of the technician, your past..everything kind of got tangled up in your mind and took a new dimension which in turn triggered that nightmare. (A small pause before he continues) Your fears and nightmares..don't let them rule you like this Ashutosh. One nightmare led you to a hasty marriage. I am not saying it was bad or wrong but..and this one you are sending your wife to her maika. Your fears though understandable, are needless. I am completely confident of it. Relax and stop reacting to them. Don't let your father win Ashutosh. You are stronger than him..a better person than him.
Reassured yet restless, he makes his way back home with Armaan determined to cheer him up along the way: Yaar..tu toh ek taraf se lucky hain..tera sasural bhi issi sheher mein hain. Maansi's parents live in Chennai and her mom had taken her off for delivery in her 5th month itself. Can you imagine? Mera toh haal behaal hogaya tha. Baaki ki baat chodo..dhang ka khaana nahi hota tha ghar mein.
Ashu gives his lopsided smile: I remember. HK had come to stay with you for 2 months na..baba and I had to fend for ourselves.
Armaan: But even with HK here with you now, I bet you are going to miss Nidhi's cooking, aren't you?
Ashu nods: Uske exams bhi aarahe hain Armaan. Its not going to be easy. Practicals mein toh pata bhi nahi kaunse external aake kya sawaal karega.
Armaan: Can't you do something about it? Tu toh dean hain na.
Ashu shakes his head: No. She is a sharp girl. She will make a fantastic paed. I don't want anyone later on to say that she used influence to get her way through. And she doesn't like it either. She makes sure Sanjay, her HOD shows her no partiality whatsoever. (A soft laugh escapes making Armaan give a happy smile.) He tagged her as Ziddi ladki of KGH.
Soon after the function, DB and Shyama leave ahead with CV to make sure everything is ready at home and Nidhi, along with Anji gets into Ashu's car. HK looks at the backing out cars: Bahu ke bina ghar soona soona lagega Mathur saab.
BB: Haan Hiraman. But its only for a while and when she comes back, there will be double rounak and double khsuhi. I can't wait I tell you. Mein apni bahu ko dekhne roz jaaonga.
HK folds his hands: Mein bhi chaloonga. (BB nods with a grin.)
Verma residence:
Ashu carries in Nidhi's carryon and puts it in her room. Nidhi comes right behind with a sulky face and puts her head on Ashu's shoulder: You will come to see me every day right?
Ashu: Every day..no matter what. Apna khayaal rakhna..ok? (Nidhi nods) Now lets go out before DB barges in..(Sure enough DB barges in after a cursory knock)
DB: All settled meri bachchi? Aur Damaad babu, you don't worry. We will all take good care of your wife.
Ashu: Ji DB. I know that.
Ashu waves and backs out the car before driving out of the gate. Nidhi and Anji remain standing at the door, with Nidhi's face still a little sad and sulky. A moment later, Nidhi's phone beeps with an incoming sms:Rooth jaao agar tum toh kya ho..pal mein aise lage jism se jaan jaise juda ho.
Anji gets a complete besotted expression on her face as she peeps into the sms that Nidhi is reading: Aay haay..mein vaari jaava Nidhi!! (She quickly scowls) Aur ek yeh Ranganath! Mere haathon aaj pitnewaala hain..honestly! (She takes out her phone and moves a little away.)
Nidhi oblivious to her comment, types her reply: Tera mera pyaar amar..phir kyon mujhko lagta hain darr..mere jeevan saathi bata..kyon dil dhadke rehrehkar.
The reply is almost immediate: Tere bina zindagi se koi shikva toh nahi..shikava nahi. Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin zindagi toh nahi..zindagi nahi.
The next one month and three weeks go by with both of them exchanging sms at every opportunity and Ashu coming to his sasural every night on his way home from KGH and Nidhi getting him lunch to KGH almost every day. Most nights he has his dinner with Nidhi and gives her back rubs and stays with her until she finishes her studies and drifts off to sleep. Her exams get wrapped up with Ashu dropping and picking her up during that time and with him cancelling his surgeries on the day of her practicals. He paces the length of his cabin restlessly until she comes back to him with a huge huge grin on her face which earns a big hug from her relieved husband.
Her sleep gets very disturbed in the last couple of weeks with the baby practically sitting on her bladder and as the date approaches, her restlessness also increases. 3 days before the actual due date, Nidhi wakes up in the morning with severe backache. The whole day she feels edgy and tired and by evening she is sure that her labour pains have started. She starts timing her contractions and calls Shyama aunty to help her out. Chaos erupts when everyone realizes its time to take Nidhi to the hospital.
Ashu picks up his phone distractedly, his eyes still glued to the laptop: Hello?
Anji: Jeejaji..Nidhi ke labour pains shuruhogaye hain. We are taking her to KGH now. Aapbhi jaldi aajayiye..hello? Jeej? Aapsunn rahe hain na?
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