I hope you guys will like it.
I have written after such a long time, I am not to sure.
I will be waiting anxiously for your reviews.😃.
Chapter 4
Ashutosh woke up the next morning and saw that Nidhi was not in the room, he was surprised. When he came downstairs, he found her, along with his father and Bhua, in her father's room. Every one was talking about the wedding, and how well it had gone off, given that everything had been arranged in such a short space of time. He saw that Nidhi was sitting near her father's bed and was holding his hand. Col. Verma had a looked happy and had a smile on his face, and kept on glancing at his daughter with love, while talking to his father. As he entered the room, everyone turned to look at him and smiled. He looked over to Nidhi, and noted that even though she was smiling, it was not a real smile, but a forced one. He noticed the strain around her eyes, as she looked at him,
--Aap aa gaye? Main aapke liye chai lekar aati hoon.
Ashutosh gave her an answering smile but did not say anything, as he walked up to Col. Verma, and touched his feet. Then he picked up his chart and started reading over last night's reports, before he once again glanced in her direction, and answered her question.
--Mere liye specially laane ki jaroorat nahin hai Nidhi. Jab baaki sab piyenge, main tab hi le lunga.
--Actually, sab toh already pee chuke hain. Bas aap hi reh gaye the.
Then Dadi Bhua looked at Nidhi and smiled,
--Haan beta jaa, apne aur Ashu ke liye chai le aa.
Ashutosh, once again, looked up from the chart he had been reading, and raised his eyebrows in surprise
--Tumne chai nahin pee abhi tak?
Nidhi looked at him shyly, as she got up to leave
--Nahin tab man nahin tha. I wanted to wait for a bit. Toh socha ke aapke saath hi le lungi.
When she had left, Ashutosh turned towards his father in law,
--Aap aaj kaisa feel kar rahein hain Baba?
Col. Verma smiled wryly, but had a calm look of acceptance, on his face,
--Beta, I am as fine as I can be.
--Baba, Woh toh main bhi samajhta hoon, but, I am asking ke aapko kaisa lag raha hai. Matlab, aapka dard kaisa hai, anything else that I should know about.
--Ashutosh you are a doctor, and know the nature of this illness. Yes, I am in pain. But, other than increasing the dosages of my pain meds, I also know that there is nothing that you can do about it. This pain is a part of me now, and mujhe sehna bhi padega. I don't have a choice in this matter.
--Haan, Baba. Par at least I can make sure you are comfortable.
--Waise toh you are doing what you can. And any increase in my medicine's will only knock me out, and I am not ready for that just yet. Ashutosh I want to stay lucid for as long as possible and spend whatever time I can with you and Nidhi. I will let you know when it gets unbearable, but till then...
--Theek hai Baba. For now at least...So, other than the pain, are you having any other discomfort.
--Just some headaches, stomach aches, and a little shortness of breath. But nothing too severe.
Ashutosh looked at him and smiled, then looked at the chart once again.
--Baba, you need to rest, and try and eat and drink a bit more than you have been. It will make you feel better.
--I know, but I just don't feel hungry.
--Baba, that does not matter. You have to try and force yourself. How will you keep up your strength otherwise.
CV smiled ruefully at the tone of Ashutosh's voice. He felt like he was a little kid being reprimanded by his parents,
---Theek hai, Ashutosh. I will try.
Ashutosh smiled as he put the charts down, before turning to face his father, and Bhua.
--Aur aapka kya program hai, aaj ka?
Dadi Bhua chuckled and shook her head at Ashutosh, as she chided
--Ashutosh kal teri shaadi hui hai, aur tu aaj ke program ke baare mein pooch raha hai. Tujhe nahin pataa ke shaadi ke baad bhi kitni saari rasam hote hain? Abhi thodi der mein sab mehmaan aur rishtedaar aane waale hain, un rasmon ke liye. Aaj toh saara din uss mein hi lag jayega. Par, abhi in baaton ke liye waqt nahin hai. Sab aate hi honge. Tum dono chai pee lo, phir Nidhi ko jaldi se tayyar hokar neeche aana hai.
--Dadi Bhua, yeh sab aapne mujhe kal kyon nahin bataya. Waise toh aaj meri chutti hai. par agar hospital jaana hota toh?
--Ashutosh you just got married yesterday! How could you possible even consider going to the hospital today?
Bhua said with angry surprise, as she looked at him with exasperation. And Ashutosh saw his father's lips twitch in a tiny smile
--Bhua, main toh bas aise hi bol raha tha, I didn't mean it.
--Theek hai, theek hai...but, don't plan on going anywhere today. I am going to need you.
--Nahin Bhua I was not planning on going anywhere.
Ashutosh said wryly. Knowing better than to argue with his bhua, when she spoke in that tone. He was about to say something further, when Nidhi came back with their tea. After she had handed him his tea, Bhua told her to take her tea up and to go get ready.
So, after one last worried glance at her father, who assured her that he was fine, she took her tea and reluctantly left the room.
After she had left, Ashutosh, noted that his father in law was looking tired. So, he told him to get some rest, and left the room with Baba and Bhua.
As they came out of Col. Verma's room, bhua told Ashutosh that she had a tons of things to see to before the guests arrived, and to make sure that he was ready on time. After she left, Ashutosh turned to his father and told him that there was something important that he had to talk to him about, and led him over to his Nidhi's study. Once inside Ashutosh closed the door and turned to his father
--Baba, I did not want to say anything in front of Nidhi, but I think that Col. Verma's condition is getting worse. Specially the symptoms he has developed over the last couple of days are very worrying. Things are not looking good.
--I know Beta. I could see your concern. It is very evident just by looking at Col. Verma also, that he is in a lot of pain. Have you talked to his doctor, recently?
--Nahin Baba. I talked to him a few days ago, when he had run all those tests on CV. He told me that he would get in touch as soon as the results came in. But I think that I should call him today and see what he has to say.
--Thats a good idea. Aur, Ashutosh, tu toh Nidhi se kal raat ko hi baat karne waala tha na? Kya hua?
--Baba, kal raat ko Nidhi bahut thaki hui thi, isliye I didn't get the chance. And, now I don't know how to. None of us could have predicted that things would take a turn for the worse quite so quickly. I think that she was expecting more time with him.
--Beta, bataana toh padega hi, na? She deserves to know. She needs to prepare herself.
--Ji, aap sahi keh rahe hain. Lekin Baba, kissi ko kaise bataya jaaye, ke woh apne pitah ki maut ke liye khud ko tayyar kar le.
--Beta, I know that's it is very hard. But, just think about Nidhi. Uske liye yeh sunna bhi kitna mushkil hoga. Aur phir tu toh usska pati hai. Aise samay mein tujhe se better aur kaun ho sakta hai usko yeh baat batane ke liye. Ab tu hi uska sahara hai, aur tere ko hi usko himmat deni hogi. Usse sab se zyada teri hi zaroorat padegi ab.
Ashutosh nodded wearily. He was about to turn and leave, when his father caught his arm and stopped him,
--Ashutosh...Beta zara theher! Abhi mat jaa. Ek pal ke liye main bhool hi gaya tha ke thodi der mein toh ghar mein mehmaan aane waale hain, aur saari rasmein shuru ho jayengi. Aise mein, agar Nidhi upset hui toh accha nahin lagega, aur sab mehman tarha tarha ke sawal poochenge. Phir humein Col. Verma ke baare mein bhi sochna chahiye, ke woh kitne excited hain inn sab cheezon se. Seeing Nidhi upset will only upset him, aur yeh unki sehat ke liye accha nahin hai. Humein unko iss samay har haal mein khush rakkhne ki koshish karni chahiye. So, I think that it will be better if you wait till tonight to tell her.
--But I think that is just delaying the inevitable. Baba, Nidhi needs to know soon. Plus we shouldn't forget that she too, is a doctor. It wont be long before she sees it for herself. And, I don't think that she will appreciate our not telling her sooner.
--Haan beta. Baat toh tu sahi keh raha hai. Lekin kya karein? Situation hi aisi hai. But yes, we should not delay any further, you should apprise her of her father's condition as soon as possible.
Ashutosh nodded in agreement, but he could not help worrying about how Nidhi would take the news.
Nidhi was also thinking about her father as she got ready. She could see that his health was deteriorating, and was really worried about him. She had noted how pale he had looked this morning, and that his skin had started taking on a slightly yellowish hue. The nurse had told her that he had not eaten much since yesterday, and, she had also noticed that he had to keep stopping to catch his breath, while talking. As a doctor she knew what his prognosis was, and exactly what was happening, it was also very difficult to ignore the physical evidence staring at her, right in the face. But as his daughter, it was still very hard for her to even think that very soon, he would be gone and she would have no one. The fact that she would be all alone in this world was a reality that she knew she was going to have to face, and accept at some point soon, and to a certain extent she already had. But, what she did not know was, just how she was going bear being without her father, or what she would do when he was gone. He had been her one constant throughout her life. His love and guidance had supported her and carried her through the toughest of times. Her father was her best friend, and mentor. He had always been there for her, whenever she need him, and she had always taken his presence in her life for granted. She still had been unable to come to grips with all of it. The news of his illness and the suddenness with which her whole life changed, because of it, still had her mind reeling. But, the most difficult part of all of this was the thought of imagining her life without him.
Nidhi could see that her father had gotten a lot weaker, and that he had lost a lot of weight, in just the past week since he had come home. She also knew that he was in a lot of pain, not just from his face. It was evident by the increase in the frequency and dosages of painkillers he was getting too. She realized that her time with him was very limited, and wanted to spend every second that she could with him. But, she sighed with disappointment, Nidhi knew that not only would she not get to spend any time with him today, she would also have to smile and act normally, and pretend to be happy, when all the while, all she wanted to do was be with her father. Which, considering the circumstances, was going to be very hard for her to do. It was the day after her wedding, and as per tradition, there were many rituals and customs that had to be preformed today. Nidhi knew that she had no choice but to participate, even though she really did not want too, and that all of them, Ashutosh's Bhua and his father, and even her own father, were looking forward to today's events.
Over the course of the last week, she had formed a bond with, and had come to develop a lot of respect and affection for Ashutosh's family. His father and Bhua had been very loving and supportive towards her. They had done everything possible to put her at ease, and make her feel that she was really a part of their family. Nidhi knew that there was no way that she could or would disappoint any of them, particularly her father. After all, he was the reason that she had gotten married in the first place. All of this was for his sake, to make him happy, and to give him peace of mind, where she was concerned. So, how could she possibly do anything that would cause him even a moments worth of unease. She had seen that her marriage had made him very happy, and he was at peace knowing that she would not be alone, and that she had a loving family to take care of her after he had gone. And, she also knew that he liked Ashutosh and was pleased with her choice, and she in turn, was happy that she had been able to fulfill her father's wish. So, even though her heart was not in it, she had decided that she was going to put on her best smiley face, and do everything that would be expected from her.
Just then, Nidhi, noticed the time, and realized that,she had to hurry up and finish getting ready, and that everything else would have to wait. Nidhi had hoped to have a talk with Ashutosh regarding her father's condition, but she knew that that would have to wait for a later time also, as there was very little or no chance that she would get to during the course of the day. Maybe later, she thought, right before bed...
She had just about finished, and was doing a final check in the mirror, when ahe heard a knock at the door. She responded hurriedly, and turned around to see who it was, just as Ashutosh come in. When Nidhi saw that it was Ashutosh, she lowered her eyes, feeling shy, nervous, and uncomfortable, all at one time. She was not used to having anyone in her room besides herself, and she realized that he really did not even have to knock, he could just come in whenever he wanted too. And that realization just came with a whole new set of feelings. The fact that she was attracted to him, him, only made things worse. Actually she had been attracted to him for a long time, but at that time he had been more of a fantasy, than a reality, which he was today. Today, he was her husband, and she had a right to fantasize about him. For example, her almost instantaneous feeling of desire, when she had first seen him this morning, had made her feel shy. And she had probably looked like a love sick teenager. But, just looking at him had brought back the awareness that she had felt the previous night, and she had been unable to stop herself from thinking about the two of them. She blushed as she remembered the thoughts that had run through her mind, then.
The quietness in the room, made Nidhi pause in her thoughts, and brought her back to reality. She became aware of the fact that, even though, Ashutosh had been in the room for a while, and he had not moved or said a word. he looked up with curiosity to see what the matter was, and saw that he was just standing there staring at her. The intensity of his gaze made her lower her eyes once again, and Nidhi smiled to herself, feeling a bit more at ease. It was a relief knowing that she was not the only one feeling this pull, and that Ashutosh was also in the same boat as she was. She looked up at him again, and said shyly
--Main...main neeche jaati hoon...Bhua mera intezaar kar rahi hongi.
And she hurried out of the room.
Ashutosh came out of his daze, the moment he heard the room door close. He saw that Nidhi had left, and he was still standing there like a fool. Just what the hell was the matter with him, he thought as he shook his head angrily. He had never behaved this way before, nor had he ever felt this way before. Ashutosh had always prided himself on being a mature and practical man, who rarely, if ever, let himself get carried away in any situation. Yet here he was now, acting like a pubescent teenager, drooling over a girl. But, he could not seem to help himself where Nidhi was concerned. Ashutosh could not figure out what it was about her that had him so fascinated. He knew that it was not her beauty. He had seen plenty of beautiful women in his life, but none of them had attracted him like Nidhi did, like she had, almost from the first moment he had seen her. So just what was so different about her that made him feel like this, he thought in confusion. But, he had to admit that she had looked breath taking, in the light gold and red lehenga that she wore. And also, incredibly sexy. The way her lehenga hugged her body, her slim waist and flat stomach partially visible through her dupatta, had made it hard placed for him not to take her in his arms right there and then. The sound of laughter coming from downstairs, brought him back to reality and he realized where his thoughts were leading him. He shook them off and hurried to get ready, as he realized that the guests had started arriving, and he was late.
When he came down he saw that his father in law, accompanied by his nurse, was also there. He was seemingly in a conversation with somebody, but was having a difficult time as he had to keep stopping after every few words to catch his breath. Ashutosh immediately went to him, and asked the guest, because he had no idea who the gentlemen was, to please excuse them, and that CV was not feeling well. Then, he wheeled him over to where his father was, and asked his father to take care of him. He adjusted his IV, gave some instructions to the nurse, and made sure that CV was comfortable, before he went about the business of mingling with the guests.
Nidhi, had a very thoughtful look to her face, as she observed Ashutosh doing all this. She had known the minute he had arrived downstairs. And, had been surprised when she had seen him making a beeline right for her father, instead of going to his own father or his Bhua, as she would have expected any other man to do. But, at the same time, she had also breathed a sigh of relief, that he done so. She had noticed the other guest trying to talk to her father. And she had seen how difficult of a time her father was having trying to keep up with the conversation. She had been about to get up and go to him herself, just as Ashutosh arrived. Nidhi saw the gentle smile he had given her father as he had talked to him, and how he had taken him away to a more quiet spot near his own father. It did not escape her notice, about how pleased and happy her father had looked while Ashutosh had been talking to him and taking care of him.
Nidhi had known right from the beginning, when she had started working KGH as an intern, that Ashutosh was a good doctor. Though his stern, and intimidating manner, had left a lot to be said. But, seeing this totally different and completely contradictory side of him today, had shown her how wrong she had been about him. The gentleness and caring with which he treated her father, and his respectful demeanor towards him, had surprised her. And seeing the smile on her father's face had earned him her undying gratitude, as well as admiration and respect.
After all the guests had left, Nidhi helped Bhua with the clean up, then went to her father's room. She had not had any time with him since morning, and wanted to spend a little time with him before she went to bed. When she got to his room, she was told by the nurse that he was resting peacefully. So, not wanting to disturb him, she walked upto his bed quietly and pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead, and said a soft "good night Baba", and she went to her room.
Nidhi felt considerably better, and a lot less tired after she had taken a hot shower. And, as she sat down in front of her dresser to comb her wet hair, she tried to recall days events. All that she remembered was that it had all seemed very intimidating, with one ritual happening after another. Other than that she could barely remember a thing, everything was just one big blur. She did not know how she would have managed with out Bhua, who had stuck by her side, and had guided her and been her advisor throughout the day. Nidhi, let out a relieved breath. She was just thankful that it was all over and done with. She could finally concentrate on taking care of, and spending time with her father now.
Thinking back to the day, the only thing that stood out for her, was seeing the look of extreme contentment, and happiness on Her father's face. That alone had made everything worth it, and had given her the strength and incentive to get through the day. But, along with his smile, she noticed that he had also looked much too frail. And, although he had been present for most of the morning's functions, he had gotten extremely tired, and despite his protests to the contrary, had had to be taken back to his room to rest, and she had not seen him since then. Nidhi had hated to leave him alone like that for the whole day. And when she had said as much to Anji, she told her that her father had not been alone. Anji, who by the way was very impressed with him, informed her that Ashutosh had been with her Baba for almost the whole day, taking care of him. She remembered how she had taken a second, and slipped away to see for herself. Even now, the memory of how sweetly and gently he had been trying to feed her father some soup during lunch, brought tears to her eyes. Nidhi smiled absentmindedly as the memory of that scene replayed itself in her mind, and her thoughts strayed, involuntarily to her husband.
She was still thinking about Ashutosh, when she heard the door open, and saw him come in. Nidhi looked at him from the mirror, and paused in the act of combing her hair, and turned around. Ashutosh barely hesitated when he saw her. He continued on through, totally ignoring her, went straight to the bathroom to freshen up, saying that he would only be a moment, not even bothering to glance her way. Nidhi was confused. Was he angry at her for something? Had she done something wrong, she asked herself worriedly, trying to think of a reason for why he had ignored her.
Meanwhile, in the shower, Ashutosh was cursing himself for once again acting like a fool in front of Nidhi. Earlier that day, he had decided that he needed to stay detached from Nidhi. And, the only way he could think of to do that, he determined, was to keep their contract in mind, whenever he was in her proximity. There was no way that he would let himself get emotionally involved with her, he vowed to himself. because, that was exactly what would happen, unless he kept his distance. There was no room for emotions in his life, it was a promise that he had made to himself long ago, and one that he had every intention of keeping, even today. Therefore, he had decided, that it was best if he kept himself at an emotional distance from her. Of course, when the time came he would have to get physically close, he knew that. But that's all it would be just PHYSICAL. He would make sure that it did not go any further then that. And then, at the end of it, they would part ways. with no harm done, to either of them. But, in the mean time, he didn't have to act like a jerk either, he thought wryly to himself. The least he could have done was say hello, he thought remembering the confusion Nidhi's face.
He remembered that she had been sitting in front of the mirror combing her hair, when he had come into their room, and wondered how, without even trying, she always managed to look so beautiful all the time. He had noticed that she did not have any make up on her face, and had been wearing a simple light colored saree, with the mangalsutra as her only piece of jewelry, and she had still managed to put a hitch in his stride. He needed apologize to her for his earlier rudeness, he decided, as he stepped out of the shower and began drying himself. As soon as he finished drying himself, Ashutosh reached out for his nightsuit, and came up empty handed! It was not there, he realized as he turned around and tried to find where he had put it. Ashutosh groaned as he recalled how he had just walked straight into the bathroom, as soon as he had entered the room. He had been so intent on trying to ignore Nidhi, that he had forgotten to get to get a change of clothes from his closet. It was also out of a force of habit. He normally did not get dressed in the bathroom, he always got ready outside, in his room. It had not been intentional, but, the problem still remained that he did not have any clothes to change into, at the moment. So, after thinking for a couple of minutes he reached a decision. He would have to go out in his towel, there was just no way around it. Then he had a sudden image of Nidhi's surprised expression, on seeing him like this.
Well, he thought, sooner or later she would have to get used to it anyway. After all, he could not keep getting dressed in the bathroom forever! It was very inconvenient. So why not now? It was as good a time as any, Ashutosh decided as he secured his towel, for her to start getting used to seeing him like this.
After all, he wasn't that bad to look at. Ashutosh was not a vain man, but he knew that he had nothing to be ashamed of, as far as his body was concerned. He kept himself in shape, and had often seen the way way women looked at him. In fact, he had seen Nidhi cast quite a few admiring glances his way in the hospital also, and had been flattered. He knew that she wanted him also, and that it was only a matter of time before... Besides, it would also give him a kick to see her be the one, who got all hot and bothered, for a change. Just the thought brought a smile to his face, as he opened the door and stepped out into the room.
Nidhi, who was standing near the balcony door and looking out, turned around as she heard the door to the bathroom open, and FROZE!! The sight of Ashutosh with only a towel wrapped around his waist, robbed her of all coherent thought. She had always thought that Ashutosh was very handsome, and known that he kept himself fit by going jogging and going to the gym, but she had had no idea, exactly how fit he was. The suits he habitually wore did not do justice to his almost perfect physique, she thought as she stared at his hard muscled body. He had broad shoulders, with beautifully muscled arms, and supported a flat muscled , almost 6 pack, abdomen. All in all, she concluded her husband had an incredible and mouthwateringly, sexy body. As she continued to stare, the image of the two of them making love suddenly came to her mind, leaving her rooted. There was some part of her that realized that she was probably being shameless, but, could not make herself look away.
Nidhi,came to her senses, when she heard her cell phone ring. She blushed to the roots of her hair, realizing that she had been ogling Ashutosh, and in which direction her thoughts had taken her. She quickly averted her eyes, and hurried over to answer her phone, and sat down, with her back towards him. Thankful for a few moments of respite. She needed this time to compose herself before she could face him again, she thought, as she said Hello to the caller.
Ashutosh grinned devilishly, feeing considerably better. Nidhi's reaction had been priceless, he thought smiling to himself, as he got ready, well worth the embarrassment of having to parade his half naked body, in front of his new bride. He was about to turn around, when his gaze fell on the framed photograph that stood on her beside table. It was of her, and her father. Ashutosh, picked it up and stared it at. It looked like a recent one, and came to the conclusion that it had probably been taken, sometime before Col. Verma had been diagnosed. Col. Verma had his arms around Nidhi, and there was love and tenderness in his expression. Nidhi was leaning on him with her head on his shoulder, a beautiful smile on her face. The bond between father and daughter, was plain for anyone to see, from this photograph. It brought him back to reality, and reminded him that he still needed to have a talk with Nidhi. Ashutosh sighed, as he bent to put the photograph back in place and straightened up again. He slowly turned around to face her.
He saw that she had finished with her phone call, and had gone out onto the balcony. As he walked towards her, he saw that she her head tilted, and was looking up at the stars, and was lost in thought. Nidhi turned around, as he came up to her. She lowered her eyes, and made to move past him. to go back to the room. He guessed that she was still embarrassed, and even though he found that cute, he felt the need to put her at ease. Ashutosh reached out a hand, to stop her from leaving, when, at the same instant, Nidhi's foot caught on something, and she tripped. He caught her just in the nick of time to prevent her from falling and getting hurt.
It took a few seconds, but when she managed to get her balance, she found herself in his arms, being held close against his body. As she slowly drew away, she noticed Ashutosh was staring down at her, and followed the direction of his stare. She blushed to the tips of her toes, when she noticed that her pallu, was no longer on her shoulders. Sometime, during the process of trying to prevent her fall, he must have caught it, and somehow, managed to pull on it hard enough to yank it free of the safetypin it had been secured with, she concluded, feeling mortified. A wave of awareness washed over her, as she realized just how close they were, and how tightly he was holding her, against himself. They both stood there like that, not knowing how to react or what to do, but at the same time reluctant to pull part. Finally, giving in to her need and reacting on instinct, she leaned forward, and brought her hands and her head to rest on his chest, and closed her eyes. Ashutosh also sighed, as he rested his head atop hers, tightening his hold to bring her even closer to himself. After a few minutes, Ashutosh drew back, and said softly,
--Nidhi. Meri taraf dekho please.
Having no choice, she reluctantly lifted her head from its resting place on his chest, and raised her eyes to his. Then, almost as if in a dream, Nidhi saw Ashutosh lowering his head towards her, and with a gentle sigh she closed her eyes. She felt Ashutosh kiss her forehead and her closed eyelids, before removing his arms from around her, and cupping her face gently in both of his hands. He tilted her face up, a bit more, before finally placing his lips gently, almost hesitatingly, to hers. He placed several small light kisses from one corner of her mouth to the other, waiting for her reaction. When she made no move to stop him, he took it as an acceptance of this intimacy and it made him bolder. Ashutosh, took her lower lip in between both of his and caressed it with his tongue. When he heard her gasp, he repeated his action with her upper lip as well. He was further encouraged, when she tilted her head up and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. Ashutosh ran his hands caressingly over waist, and deepened his kiss by gently forcing her lips apart and using his tongue to taste her. He was already shaking from the force of his desire, and only his knowledge of her total inexperience was keeping him under control, and he did not want to scare her. Her tentative and shy caressing was already driving him insane, he did not know how long he would be able to hold on to his control. Then he felt her tongue , as slid it hesitatingly cross his lips and into his mouth, and all bets were off. Ashutosh crushed her painfully to himself, but did not stop her shy exploration of his mouth. He let her touch and explore, until he couldn't tolerate any more. Then, without breaking there mouth to mouth contact, he picked her up and slowly carried her into their room. The moment he set her down, near the bed, her phone rang. It broke the spell between them.
Nidhi, drew back with with a jerk, and looked at him accusingly, before she whirled around and went to answer her phone.
Ashutosh looked at her retreating back, and ran a furious hand through his hair, in frustration, and cursed viciously. He had really blown it, he thought. He had seen the accusation in Nidhi's eyes, and he knew that he could not fault her for it. He had promised to give her time, and had gone back on his word. Damn it! he cursed silently again. He was older, and a lot more mature, he should have known better than to let what had just happened between them, happen. He should have kept himself under control. Nidhi had trusted him, and asked for his friendship. And, Ashutosh had betrayed her on both counts. He felt ashamed of himself, and had no idea how to even begin to ask her to forgive him, let alone trust him again. Ashutosh suddenly noted the quiet in the room. He turned around and saw that even though, Nidhi was off the phone, she was still standing there, doing nothing, not even moving. Knowing that he needed to apologize, Ashutosh started to walk towards her.
He had barely gone a few steps, when she turned around. Her eyes were two abject pools of misery, but her face was red with fury. The anger in her eyes, made him stop in his tracks. He was about to say something, when she held up her hand
--Please don't say a word, Dr. Ashutosh. I don't want to hear another thing .
Ashutosh, hesitated in the face of her anger, but still went on
--Nidhi, I am sorry. I am really very very sorry. I know that what happened between us should not have happened...I should not have let it happen. I am older and have more experience, I should have known better than to let myself get carried away like that. Please forgive me. It will never happen again. I...I promise...
Nidhi interrupted him before he could finish
--I dont want to talk about that. What I want to talk about, and What I Need For You to Tell Me is... WHY didnt you tell me that you talked to Baba's doctor? And Why didn't you tell me about his...about his...about him...
Ashutosh, saw tears start to fall from her eyes, and immediately realized that the call had been from her father's doctor. He had probably informed her about the test results, he thought, seeing her furiously wiping at her tears, as she waited for him to answer. Ashutosh felt guilty. He should have made it a point to talk to her, he told himself. And he would have, but he simply had not found the right time in which he could have. Then, when he had been about to tell her, she had tripped and fallen into his arms, and he had forgotten about anything else.
--Kab batata Nidhi? Tumhi batao. Humko itna time hi kab mila hai, jismein main tumhe bataa pataa. And besides, I myself did not know anything concrete, till this afternoon. I just had my suspicions, and there was no way that I could come to you with just that. You tell me how I could have told you, based just on my gut feeling, that I thought your father had maybe a few weeks instead of months, as you originally thought, to live. And that too, if you were lucky. Which in all probability you were not, because it was my opinion he had only a handful of days at best. How could I possibly have told you that, when I had nothing with which to back up my suppositions. So, I called the doctor and talked to him today, and when he confirmed my suspicions, and told me that he had just gotten the test results, which told him the same thing. I was going to talk to you tonight, but you found out before I could.
Nidhi was quiet for a few seconds, and stood there staring at him. Then just as quietly, and without saying a word, she walked over to the dresser and quickly righted her clothes, and tied her hair up. When she turned around she saw Ashutosh standing there, right in front of her,
--Nidhi, will you forgive me...Please...for both things. Maybe I was wrong about not discussing my suspicions. I probably should have...I don't know...but, I was going to discuss everything with you tonight.
Nidhi turned to look at him, and gave him a very tiny smile
--That's Ok, Dr. Ashutosh. You don't have to keep apolgizing. I was not angry with you, I was just upset, thats all. And I am sorry too, for shouting at you.
Ashutosh smiled, and gave a slight nod, feeling relieved at her answer.
--You have nothing to be sorry for Nidhi. I know that you are upset, and I also undertand that you didnt mean to shout. Nidhi...about what happened earlier. I would like to...
But, Nidhi cut him off, before he could complete his statement,
--I dont want to talk about it. Please Dr. Ashutosh, let it go for now.
Then she walked to the bed, turned off the light on her side, lay down and closed her eyes.
Ashutosh stood there quietly for a minute or two, and did the same. He knew that she was upset, therefore, he had let the matter go for the time being, but, he knew that he would have to bring it up again. They had to talk about it. What had happened between them, was not wrong, it had just happened at he wrong time. And it had been absolutely beautiful.
Ashutosh closed his eyes and remembered how good it felt to have her in his arms. He could still feel her lips on his, and the way she had responded to him. He had never known or possibly could have imagined, that passion could be like this, so totally mind blowing, or, that he could come undone by one kiss. And yet, that was exactly what had happened. He had never felt desire like this, ever, in all his life. But, he also knew that this was not the right time, for all of this. Right now, and for the near foreseeable future, Nidhi would need him as a friend, not as a lover. That would have to wait for a later time. Right now, she needed someone she could lean on and trust, in her time of need. And, from all indications that time would be soon.
He had told by the doctor that according to the tests results it was clear that CV's cancer was clearly in the last phase of stage 4, and had in all probability spread to all distant locations in the body, such as the liver, lungs, and also most the adjacent organs including the stomach, spleen, and most likely, the bowels. He said that this was the last stage, and other than keeping him as comfortable as possible, there was not much else they could do for him at this point. When Ashutosh had asked him, "How Long", he had remained quiet for several seconds, and then said that they could tell for certain, as everyone was different, but that it would be soon.
On the other side of the bed, Nidhi was also thinking about what had happened. She could not believe that she had let things go that far. She also knew that, she was more at fault than Ashutosh was, in the whole matter. But, she did not want to deal with all that right now, it would all have to wait for later. At this moment, all she could think about was what the doctor had told her. He had said that according to the MRI scans, the cancer had virtually spread throughout most of his body to almost all the organs. The doctor said that according to him it was a miracle that he was still lucid, and that she should prepare herself for the inevitable. Nidhi thought that she would have more time with her father, and she felt very helpless. First her mother, and now her father. It seemed that life and fate were hell bent on taking everything she held precious away from her. And she could not help the flow of tears that came out of her eyes, as she bemoaned this cruel twist of fate, that god had dealt her.
They were both woken up in the idle of the night, by a loud knocking on their door. It was the nurse. She asked them to come down immediately, as Col. Verma was having a very difficult time breathing. She said that he was very agitated, and she was not able to control him. They both rushed downstairs, saw Col. Verma gasping, desperately trying to breath, and trying to sit up. He seemed to be in a lot of pain, and was clutching at his abdomen, which she was told later was from the tumor pushing against nerves. In his delirium he had even managed to yank out the IV needle from his arm, and blood was flowing freely from his vein. Ashutosh went over to him, and staunched the blood with a some gauze and cotton, and started checking on his vitals. He then gave him an injection of morphine , to make him sleep. Meanwhile Nidhi tried to get him to calm down, long enough for Ashutosh to do all of this. It took them quite a while. And by the they did, it was nearly dawn and they were both exhausted. Once he had reinserted the IV line, made sure that Col. Verma was resting peacefully, Ashutosh called up Dr. Chauhan. Nidhi heard him talking softly to him in the hallway outside her father's room, but did not hear a word that was said. Her whole attention was focused on her father, as silent tears fell from her eyes. She held her father's hand in one of hers, while gently passing her other over his head. She could not believe that her father had not even recognized her. She knew that he had been delirious. But, even in his delirium he had been calling out to her constantly. And even though, she had told him, and tried to reassure him, that she was right there with him, he had not recognized her.
Ashutosh came in a minute later, put a hand on her shoulder, and told her that the doctor would be arriving shortly. Nidhi was strangely comforted by that gesture, and put one of her own hands over his, in thanks and silent acknowledgement. When the doctor arrived, he checked everything out, and told them what they already knew. He said that all they could do was keep him as comfortable, and as pain free, as possible. He also arranged for some more equipment to be delivered to their house before he left, promising to be back later that evening.
This set up a trend for the next few days, with the doctor coming in twice. Meanwhile Nidhi spent every second that she could with her father, only leaving his side to take a quick shower and change her clothes.
She knew that Ashutosh was also there right alongside her the whole time, and that was a big source of comfort for her. She knew that her father liked Ashutosh, and that Ashutosh in turn also cared about him. So the only other person that she trusted besides herself , at this time, with his care was Ashutosh. Nidhi knew that he had called the hospital, and taken time off so that he could stay at home to help care for her father, and that meant a lot to her, that he cared enough to do that. Nidhi was tireless, in her care for him. And, even though she insisted on doing everything herself, there were certain times, when she could not be with him. It was at those times, that Ashutosh was there, and he took over, and she was very grateful to him for that. He never hesitated even for a second to perform even the smallest of task, for her father.
Col. Verma had very few lucid moments after the first attack. And, although he often opened his eyes and smiled tenderly at her, and even held her hand, in silent reassurance that bespoke of his love, he did not speak again. It seemed that he had lost the ability. And when she had questioned the doctor about that, he had told her that it happened in some cases, and that it was all a symptom of the diseases progress. Everyday he seemed to get worse. By the sixth or seventh day, his appetite was almost non existent, and his pain unbearable. The next few days, brought even more pain, along with periods of apnea. By this this point he had stopped recognizing anyone, and was kept under constant sedation. They all knew that it was almost time when his heart beat became erratic, often stopping for a few seconds at a time, and his breathing became a lot worse, and very congested and Noisy. Nidhi had heard that type of breathing before in the hospital. It was called the "death rattle.".She knew that it was from a build up of the secretions in the lungs. Even his skin had started taking on an extremely dark yellowish hue, which she knew was due to the jaundice he had developed, because he had stopped drinking. His liquid intake was nil. And less liquids meant that the urine output was also less, which hindered the function of the bile, and liver, hence the yellow color to the skin. Basically things were happening at, what seemed to be, a very fast rate. Nidhi was told by Dr. Chauhan, that though it was not usual, it did happen in certain cases. Nidhi was seeing her father dying by degrees, right in front of her eyes, and the fact that, despite being a doctor, there was nothing that she could do about it, was slowly killing her on the inside. Outwardly she never let it show. She bottled all her pain up inside of her, never crying or, saying a word in complaint. She just went about quietly , taking care of her father, and his needs as best as she could.
2 weeks later, almost to the day since they had gotten married, the nurse came and woke Ashutosh, who had been asleep on the living room sofa, that Col. Verma had passed away. She said that in his last moments, he had opened his eyes and smiled at his daughter, and then quietly closed them again, and the monitors had flatlined. She told him that he had gone quietly and peacefully.
Ashutosh asked her to inform the rest of the household, while he rushed to Col. Verma's room.
He came to a stand still at the door, when he saw Nidhi. She was sitting down next to her father quietly, calmly, with her head resting on his shoulder, and one arm around his middle. Ashutosh walked up to her slowly, and saw that she had disconnected his IV, and had even put a bandaid on the arm, where the needle had been. He put his hand on her shoulder
--Nidhi, sweetheart...You need to get up. Come on.
Nidhi. Lifted her head and looked at him
--Ashutosh, I need to be alone with my father for a little while...Please...
Ashutosh was about to protest, when his father spoke up from behind him
--Ashu. Beta I think that we should leave Nidhi alone with her father for a few minutes, and let her say goodbye to him in private. Chalo beta, hum dono bahar chalte hain.
He then went up to Nidhi and and put a his hand on her head, and left the room taking Ashutosh with him.
Ashutosh saw that everybody had arrives, and were standing there with tears in there eyes, including Anji and her parents, and even Arman. Anji came up to him and quietly asked about Nidhi. Ashutosh informed her that Nidhi had wanted to be left her alone with her father for a little bit.
After 10-15 minutes, they were starting to get worried, and Ashutosh was about to go in and get her, when she appeared at the door. Anji immediately went over to her and hugged her, and took her to sit down on the sofa. Anji looked up at Ashutosh, and indicated that she would take care of Nidhi, and that he could go ahead and take care of the rest. He nodded and went over to where his father was sitting with Mr. Solanki, and Arman. The three them discussed what needed to be done next, and made plans. Shortly thereafter, after checking up on Nidhi, Ashutosh and Arman left to take care of all the arrangements, and make all the necessary calls.
It was a worried family that was gathered at the dinning table some two weeks later, with Arman and Anji being included in, in this circle. Arman was the first to speak,
--Ashu, yaar tu kuch nahin kar sakta. Ab toh do hafte ho gaye hain.
It was Ashutosh's father who spoke in his stead.
--Arman Beta , Ashu koshish kar chuka hai. Hum sab kar chuke hain. Anji aur uske parents bhi. Lekin uspe kuch asar nahin hua. Hum sab bhi issi baat ko lekar bahut pareshaan hain.
--Haan, Baba main jaanta hoon. Lekin, koi toh tareeka hoga usse rullane ka.
Ashutosh--Arman, we have all tried. She just does not respond. She just goes about business, and is behaving normally. But she hasn't cried, not even once, since he passed away.
Arman--Toh ab? Ab kya karenge, kuch socha hai?
Ashutosh--Maine apne ek dost se baat kari hai. He is a psychiatrist, in london. He has given me some suggestions.
Anji--Toh Jeeju, kya suggestions hai. We need to do something quickly. I am so scared for her.
Ashutosh, looked at Anji and smiled, and he patted her hand affectionately. He was very grateful to her for all the help she had given him over the past two weeks. She had almost single handedly taken care of Nidhi, while her mother and Bhua, had seen to the day to day running of the house during the 13 mourning period. Nidhi was lucky to have a friend like her. She was to Nidhi, what Arman was to him. And he knew that she was concerned, all of them were. Specially him. Nidhi, hardly even glanced in direction any more, let alone talk to him. She interacted with everyone else, just not him. It was almost as if he did not exist. And, he did not know why? Anyway...
--I know Anji. But please don't worry. You need to be strong for her. We will figure something out.
--Ji. I know you will Jeeju. But, doc ne kya sujhav diye hain.
--He suggested that I should take her out somewhere. Maybe a short trip. Somewhere relaxing, but also a place that she might have gone to with her father. He says sometimes, a place that holds special memories for a person, can trigger the kind of reaction we are wanting.
Anji's eyes lit up, and her face took on an excited look,
--Jeeju, I know just the place. Nidhi's mom and Uncle used to go there with her when she was little. And after Aunty passed away, Uncle used used to take Nidhi there with him. In fact, I also went the both of them several times. It's a little village up in the mountains, near Mahabaleshwar. Its beautiful. You can take her there. I know that she has a lot of special memories of her and uncle, there.
--Thanks Anji. That sounds good. I had been wondering where I could take her, and how I was going to find that out. What do you think Baba?
--Haan, beta. Mere khayal se Anji theek keh rahi hai. Tu Bahu ko wahan lejaa, shayad woh wahan jaakar, purani baaton aur yaadon mein kho kar, react kar jaye.
Bhua--Haan Ashutosh, yeh theek rahega. Lekin Jaldi. Mere hisaab se toh aaj hi. Agar saare intezaam ho sake toh, aaj hi le jaa. Mujhe se uss bacchi ka yeh haal ab dekha nahin jaata. Phool jaisa chehra, poori tarha se murjha gaya hai.
Arman--Haan Ashu, yeh theek rahega. Toh phir baat pakki...main jaa ke abhi saare intezaam karta hoon.
Ashutosh--Thanks Arman. Ho sake to jaise Bhua keh rahin hain, aaj ke liye hi koshish karna.
Arman--Theek hai Ashu, mai abhi jaata hoon. Tu phikr mat kar, I am sure ke aaj ka program fix ho jayega.
Ashutosh--Itne main mai, hospital se baat kar leta hoon, aur saman ki packing bhi ho jayegi. Anji, please mere saath aa karke Nidhi ka saman pack do...
Ashutosh was interrupted, when they heard Nidhi's
--Mujhe Koi Problem nahin hai, aur Main Kahin Nahin Jaaungi!!!!!!
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Current Affairs
Sadda Haq Season 2
