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This Time Forever
Chapter 8
"Of course we will Baby, I promise. What do you want?"
"I want a Baby brother or sister. Just like Massi and Rangu Massa are getting for Nishi!!!!!!!!!!!"
Khushi Started jumping up and down with excitement, and clapping as she turned around and ran to Nishi and hugged her tightly.
"Nishi...Nishi, suna? Papa ne haan bol diya. Ab Mere paas bhi tere jaisa chota baby hoga. Kitna mazaa aayega na? And now we will not even need our dolls, we will have our babies to play with. Chal ab Neeche beach par chalte hain. Rangu Massa Chaliye."
Khushi turned and ran up to a stunned Ashutosh and hugged him.
"Thank you Papa. Aap kitne acche hain. I love you."
And before he could respond, both girls ran to grinning Rangnath, and caught hold of his hands, starting to drag him out of the room. Rangnath, threw a helpless grin over at Nidhi and Ashutosh, before he let the girls lead him out.
Anji, who up until then had been silent, turned to look at Ashutosh and Nidhi who were staring at each other. Ashutosh with a dazed opened mouthed expression, and Nidhi with an extremely annoyed one. Anji was waiting for her to react to what Khushi had just said. But from the looks of it, it seemed that the news had not registered in Nidhi's mind, as she was busy giving Ashutosh the "What have you done." And, "you are a dead man", look. So Anji stood there and waited patiently, knowing that it was only a matter of seconds.
"Yeh aapne kya kiya?"
"Maine Kya Kiya Hai?"
"Kya Kiya hai? KYA KIYA HAI?"
Nidhi looked at Ashutosh in exasperation. She sighed, and shook her head.
"Has it registered yet, ke aapne apni beti se kya promise kiya hai? Do you know the consequences of what you have just done. The last time it happened, I ended up married. And just now you have promised her a baby, like Nishi..."
Nidhi stopped mid sentence and whirled around. Suddenly realizing the enormity of what Khushi had inadvertently said. Her ace lit up with a excitement, and a huge smile formed on her face as she hurried over to Anji and pulled her into a tight bear hug.
"Anji, you're pregnant? Why didn't you tell me? How long have you known? How far along are you? When are you due? And why are you..."
Anji Laughed,"Bas bas bas. Nidhi Itne saare sawaal...thoda saans to le le. Ok, lt me see. Yes I am pregnant. I was about to tell you. I just found out a few days ago. I am about 2 months along. As for the due date, well that I will know when we go back, abhi toh bas doctor ne confirm kara hai. The rest I will find out when I visit the doctor for my detailed check up and sonography. Is that it, ya koi aur sawaal bhi baaki bacha hai?" she said laughing.
Nidhi looked at her, affection and love lighting up her whole face. "Anji I am so happy. I know that you and Jeeju have always wanted more children. But after Nishi, and all those complications...anyway. I am just so happy for the both of you...and also for me. I get to be a Massi again. YEA! And I get to spoil and pamper my best friend at the same time." Then she suddenly turned serious, and with a worried look on her face,"But you are all right na? How are you feeling? And why are we on this trip? You should be at home resting and taking it easy. Accha ab se saare kaam band, and poora aaraam. You don't need to worry about anything. I will take care of Nishi, and whatever else you need. Theek Hai?"
Anji shook her head, and hugged Nidhi tightly, overwhelmed at the love and worry in Nidhi's eyes and face for her.
"Nidhi main theek hoon. And I asked the doctor before coming here. She says that as long as I take it easy and get plenty of rest I should be alright. See that is why I have not been doing any sight seeing, and taking it totally easy. Besides, we had not had a vacation in a long time. Par meri phikr toh chod, aur apni soch. Ab toh Khushi ko bhi chota bhai ya behen chahiye. So you might also be in the same boat soon, nahin?" she said tongue in cheek, trying to divert Nidhi's attention away from her. And succeeding.
Anji smiled wickedly as Nidhi whirled around to face Ashutosh, who had been silent all this time. She smiled at him to let him know that the ball was in his court, and that he would have to deal with his wife.
Ashutosh smiled ruefully at Anji, knowing perfectly well what she had done. He walked up to her slowly, and much to Nidhi's and Anji's surprise, pulled Anji into a gentle hug and kissed her forehead.
"I am very happy for you and Rangnath, Anji. Congratulations! I know that you and Nidhi are sisters, and that Nidhi loves you a great deal. But I would also consider it an honor if you would also consider me as your older brother, and accept me into your heart."
Anji had tears in her eyes as she looked at him. She smiled and leaned into him, putting her arms around his waist, and gave him a gentle hug.
"Aapko yeh kehne ki zaroorat nahin thi. The day you married Nidhi, you became a part of our famiy. But I am sorry, main aapko bada bhai nahin maan sakti."
Ashutosh looked aback. But Nidhi who stood behind him, smiled serenely, and waited patiently for Anji to continue.
"Main aapko bhai nahin, apna Jeeju maanti hoon. I think that that is a much more fun relationship. Bade bhai ke saath toh formal hona padta hai. Aur Jeeju ke saath toh it's a whole other thing. Plus, and most important, I get to be the aadhe gharwali, and be free to flirt with my gorgeous hunk of a brother in law. So what say? Huh Jeeju? Chalega na?"
Ashutosh laughed with relief, as he gently patted her shoulder,
"Absolutely Saaliji. Absolutely. I would consider it an honor to have one of the most beautiful young woman I have ever known flirt with me."
"Theek hai toh phir. It's pakka. By the way Jeeju...I am so so sorry for disturbing you guys last night."
Ashutosh looked at her, stunned. Then he burst out into a loud laughter, as he pulled Anji into an affectionate, quick side hug, and turned with her to face Nidhi, who stood there blushing beet red to the tips of her toes.
"Anji...tu bhi na...you are just too much!"
Anji looked at Ashutosh once more before she walked over to Nidhi.
"Maine kuch galat kaha kya?"
She held her hand up in mock surrender at the threatening look on Nidhi's face, and was about to say something, when
"Who is bothering my favorite Saali? Nidhi, Anji tumhe tung kar rahi hai na, tu phikr mat kar. Ab mai aa gaya hoon, koi kuch nahin kar sakta. I am on your side. Toh, ab koi mujhe batao kya mamla hai?"
Nidhi looked at him gratefully, and went over to give him a hug,
"Jeej first I wanted to say congratulations. I am so happy for the both of you. I have no words..."
Rangnath looked at her affectionately and hugged her back, and drew away and put a hand on her cheek,
"You do not need words Nidhi. I know. In fact we both do."
Nidhi smiled at him, then leaned on his shoulder as she faced Anji and Ashutosh again,
"And thanks for the support Jeej, I knew I could count on you. Yeh dekho yeh dono mere upar gang up kar rahein hain."
"Anji bahut buri baat hai. You can't do that. She already knows we disturbed them. Remind karne ki kya kya zarorat hai. Haan?"
Ashutosh and Anji burst into laughter, and it took a minute for Nidhi to react. As soon as it registered what Rangnath had just said, she pushed away and punched him on the shoulder.
"Aap bhi? Fine... go ahead all of you, but remember that I will get a chance to get back for this, sometime. And when I do...Well suffice to say I would watch my back if I were you Jeej."
Rangnath held up his hands, and smiled, at Nidhi, who grinned back at him. All four adults stood there smiling, and in that instant a bond formed between them, binding them together and making them a family.
Ashutosh crossed over to stand beside Nidhi, and put his arms around her shoulders, and watched as Rangnath did the same.
"By the way, bacche kahan hain? You did not give them away or anything did you?"
Rangnath laughed and shook his head, feeling very happy at seeing happiness on Nidhi's face and in her eyes.
"Nahin Sir, they are downstairs having breakfast at the children's table with a group of kids, supervised by the resort's child care staff. I just came to get all of you."
"Ok. Toh Hum bhi neecche chalte hain. Let's all go and have breakfast, then we can make plans for the day."
"Actually Sir, we were thinking...that is...I mean...Why don't you and Nidhi spend the day together, Anji and I can take care of the girls. We will just spend the day at the beach. They love that. That way, Anji will get to relax, the kids will have fun, and you both will get some time together."
"Rangnath, I think that we can dispense with the "Sir". It's high time don't you think? After all we have been colleagues and friends for a long time. And now we are also family. So no more formality. Hmm."
Rangnath looked pleased, and also hesitant,
" That would be great Si...Sorry, it's just that I am so used to calling you that. I don't know how else to address you. And thank you for that, calling us family, I mean."
"Rangnath I am not calling you our family. You ARE our family. WE are A family. And as for what to call me. Well, I would like it if you could call me by my name. Anything else you prefer is also alright."
"No Sir...Sorry. It will take sometime I guess...Ashutosh."
"Toh chalein? Breakfast karne. The kids will be waiting."
"But..."
"But kuch nahin. I thank you for the offer, but it's alright. We all came here to be together. And also to spend time with the children. Nidhi and I have our whole lives to be together. We can be alone another time."
"Haan Jeej, Ashutosh and I want all of us to spend time together with the children."
Anji and rangnath looked at each other, and Anji answered
"Alright Jeeju. But you both will have to spend at least one day alone before we go back. Tomorrow. Bas no more talk about it. It is decided. We can let the children go on a picnic with the resort group. I know that they have it planned for tomorrow."
Ashutosh and Nidhi agreed reluctantly, and then all four of them went downstairs to eat before they came back to the rooms to change for the beach, as per the girls request.
All during the day, Ashutosh was hard pressed to try and keep his attention focused on what was going on around him, and away from his beautiful sexy wife. He had the devil of a time trying to give his attention to his daughter, and often had to be asked something twice. Anji and Rangnath found that amusing, and also cute, and they gave each other knowing looks and smiled as they observed Ashutosh and Nidhi try to keep away from each other.
Nidhi was also having the toughest time. She kept thinking about the previous night, and found it hard not to blush every time she remembered how it had felt to be in her husband's arms. She could still feel his hand on her. Nidhi knew that Ashutosh was feeling the same way. She had seen the passion smoldering in his eyes whenever they eyes had happened to meet.
Nidhi sighed as she relaxed under the umbrella, on the beach, next to Anji. The men had taken the children to get their lunch, giving Nidhi and Anji sometime to lie down and relax before the children demanded their attention again. She had no idea when she fell asleep, but the next thing she knew was being awakened by an incredibly sweet kiss on her lips. Nidhi smiled as she opened her eyes, and saw the adoring gaze of her husband. She lifted a hand to touch his face, when she became aware of her surroundings, and bolted upright.
"Ashutosh app yeh kya kar rahein hain? Woh bhi yahan, iss tarha khulle mein. Koi bhi aa sakta hai. Bacche, Anji aur Jeej kahan hai?"
Ashu smiled tenderly at her, and lifted a hand to gently caress one cheek,
"Nidhi relax. Kissi ne kuch nahin dekha. This umbrella is family sized, and low enough that it hides you pretty well, unless someone deliberately peeks down. Besides, everyone does it. It's not that big a deal here. And you looked so beautiful and were sleeping so peacefully, I just could not resist. And baaki sab, drinks lene gaye hain. We forgot them. I was elected to stay behind with you."
They both looked at each other, unable to tear there eyes away. Ashutosh's hand, the one that had been caressing her cheek, slid down to caress her jaw and slide his thumb across her lips, before sliding down further to fleetingly pass over the gentle swell of her breasts. Nidhi closed her eyes as Ashutosh trailed his hands down her neck to her shoulder, and then all the way down her her arms to her hands, where he twined his fingers with hers. Nidhi opened her eyes, and found him staring at her, his eyes filled with desire.
"I want you Nidhi. I haven't been able to focus on anything else today. Last night seems like a dream. I am still having a hard time believing that you are finally mine. I need to feel you against me. I need to feel you around me. Nidhi..."
Nidhi covered his mouth with her hands, stopping him from saying anything further. Her heart was thundering in her chest.
"Please stop..."
"I know this is not the time. I just can't help myself from thinking about all the things that I didn't do last night. All the things that I have fantasized about doing with with you, and to you...I want you so badly."
Nidhi blushed, and lowered her face at the intensity of his gaze.
"I know. I know you do. And so do I. Par abhi sab kabhi bhi wapas aa saktein hain. You should not talk like this."
Ashutosh smiled ruefully,
"Yeah, I know. Time galat hai. But tonight. Tonight, I will tell you without words exactly what I was thinking about."
She blushed again. And before either of them had a chance to say anything else everyone came back, and Nidhi had to get up to help Anji with the children, and the lunch. They spent the whole day at the beach, playing swimming, building sand castles. And Rangnath, being a good sport and an indulgent father and uncle, let the girls bury him in the sand. Everything was just as it should have been. Nidhi was happy to see Ashutosh so carefree and relaxed. It had been a long time since she had seen him like this, she thought, as she saw him waving to her from the water, where he was getting splashed at by both the little girls. She grinned and waved to him, feeling at peace with the world.
Towards evening, when they saw the little girls starting to tire out, they packed up all their things and headed back to the hotel. Khushi asked if she could take a bath with Nishi in her Massi's room, at Anji's nod, Nidhi said yes, and with a quick glance at her husband, went with Anji to help with the children. Once there, mindful of her condition, she did not let Anji do anything, insisting that she needed to rest, relax, before freshening up for dinner.
After the children had been fed and put to bed, Nidhi told Anji that she would go to her room and get ready quickly before dinner too. Just as she was stepping out of the room, Ashutosh Came in. She saw that he had already freshened up, so she asked him to go to the dining room with Anji and Rangnath, and that she would join them downstairs as soon as she got ready.
About 30 minutes later, when she got to the dining room, she found Ashutosh sitting alone at the table waiting for her. She looked at him, sitting there. He looked incredibly handsome, in his grey casual sports jacket and pants, and black shirt. There was a live band in the room, playing tunes to some golden oldies from the 60's and 70's era. He looked at ease and was apparently enjoying himself, as he listened to the music while sipping his drink. Ashutosh looked up the moment she stepped into the dining hall, as if he had sensed her presence. He got up as she approached, and pulled out her chair. Nidhi smiled at him, and looked around as she sat,
"Anji aur Jeej kahan hain? Kahin bahar gaye hain?"
"Nahin, they are both up in their room. Anji was feeling tired, so both rangnath and I insisted that she stay and rest, and just get dinner up in the room. I was going to call you there, but they insisted that we both have dinner down here together. So...Here we are. Its just the two of us."
His voice had become soft and husky on the last sentence.
Ashutosh smiled as he slowly reached out to take her hand, then slowly, all the while looking into her eyes, he brought it to his lips and held it there. After a few seconds when he stayed like that, Nidhi tried to pull her hand back.
"Ashutosh mera haath chodiye. Please. Dekhiye log hamari taraf dekh rahein hain."
"Nidhi kya fark padta hai agar koi dekh raha hai. And why are you paying attention to anyone else anyway. I am in front of you, mujhe dekho na. Ya phir you are already tired of looking at me?"
She knew he was kidding, but she had a serious look to her face as she raised her other hand and put it on his cheek,
"I can't joke about that Ashutosh. Not yet, at least. I have been without you forever, and have gone too long without seeing you to be able to do that. Paanch saalon se aapko dekhne ke liye taras gayi thi. Agar paanch janam bhi yahin aise hi beet jayein aapke saath, toh bhi aapko dekhte kabhi nahin thakungi."
Ashutosh swallowed the lump in his throat, at her confession.
"Nidhi, you constantly amaze me. Tum mujhse itna pyar kaise kar sakti ho. Specially after the way I treated you. Agar koi aur ladki hoti, woh kabhi mere liye wait nahin karti. Anyone else would have moved on with their life. Anyone would have considered themselves lucky to have you, phir kyon? Kyon mere lye wait kiya. And don't tell me you didn't. I know you did. You could have found someone else Nidhi. Tumne apne 5 saal mere liye kharab kare. And you did not even know that I would be back. Why? Why did you do that?"
"How could I have accepted anyone else. Aapki jagah koi bhi nahin le sakta hai Ashutosh. You are the only one for me. I know that I could have moved on with my life. But Ashutosh, what life? Aapke bina meri koi life nahin hai. And you are right, I did not know that you would come back. But, you see I had no choice. I had to wait. Mera dil yeh baat maanne ko tayyar hi nahin hua that you would not come back. I would have waited forever, till I was old and gray, and even with my last breath I would have waited for you. Hamara dil hamare bas mein nahin hota na, kya karoon. Majboor thi. Pyar par, aur dil par hamaraa koi zor nahin chalta. All I have ever needed, all I have ever wanted in this life, was you."
Ashu was speechless. He had no words with to express his gratitude or his love for this incredible woman that was his wife.
"Nidhi, I don't know whether or not I deserve you or your love, but I am so happy and thankful that you are finally mine, and I absolutely refuse to even put any more consideration on that angle. I am just going to thank god for you. And I am going to spend the rest of my life with you thanking him every day, as I cherish and worship, and adore you. Nidhi I will never ever let you go away from me ever again. You are my world."
"I feel the same. But aap bhi mujhe ek promise kijiye...promise kijiye ke chahe kuch bhi ho, koi kuch bhi kahe, aap kabhi mera saath nahin chodenge. I can't be without you again."
Blinking the moisture out of his eyes, Ashutosh once more brought her hand up to his lips, giving her the promise she wanted with his eyes. Just then the band struck up an old song, that also happened to be one of Ashutosh's favorite. He had often told her that that song epitomized his dream of their life together.
JHIL MIL SITAARON KA AANGAN HOGA
RIM JHIM BARASTA SAWAN HOGA
AISA SUNDAR SAPNA APNA JEEVAN HOGA
Ashutosh got up and held his hand out to her.
"May I have this dance, Dr. Mathur."
Nidhi looked up at him startled, this was the first time she had been called that. She looked around,
"But koi bhi dance nahin kar raha hai. The dance floor is empty."
"Toh kya hua? Do you care?"
Nidhi could not believe her eyes or her ears. This was Ashutosh. Her Ashutosh. The one who had never so much as held her hand in public, because he did not like to be the center of anyone's attention. It seemed he had changed. She missed her old shy Ashutosh, but this one excited and thrilled her beyond measure. She gave a shy adoring smile, as she put her hand in his and let him lead her to the dance floor and went into his arms, eagerly. She put one of her hands on his chest and laid her head there, while the other arm snaked around his waist. Nidhi sighed as she felt his arms tighten around her, and swayed to the music with him. At the same time, a shiver of excitement went through her because Ashutosh, who had slid his hands underneath the pallu of her sari, was slowly caressing the skin at her waist. Nidhi felt him kiss her head. Then, as if prodded by some unknown force, she slid her hand slowly across his chest, and unobtrusively undid the top two buttons of his shirt, and slid her fingers inside. Nidhi smiled as she felt his breath hitch in his throat. She leaned back, and looked up into his face, and felt a current go up along her spine, as she found herself caught and held in his smoldering gaze. Ashutosh pulled her closer.
"You know what you are doing right?"
"Maine kya kiya? I don't know that I did anything. I was just enjoying our dance."
"Yeah! And I believe that!" He snorted.
"Such mein. Maine kya kiya?"
Ashutosh pulled her even more closer, and growled softly into her ear.
"Whatever you are r aren't doing, you better stop it now Nidhi." he warned as he brought her yet closer.
"Errr...Iss se zyada paas layenge to we could be in danger of getting ourselves arrested you know."
But she did not stop her fingers from wandering, mischief and desire clearly intermingling, from the looks on her face.
"Nidhi, sweetheart unless you want to go hungry and forget about dinner, I suggest you stop that. Nahin toh..."
"Nahin Toh?"
They were barely moving now.
"Nahin toh I will be forced to drag you out of here to our room, as food is the furthest thing on my mind right now. And then I can promise you that you will not get anything to eat anytime soon."
"We can always eat later. Room service serves till late, or so I have heard."
Ashutosh stopped dancing altogether, as he stared intently down into her eyes.
''Nidhi..." he said huskily.
Nidhi blushed as she nodded. And needing no other encouragement, Ashutosh whirled around taking her by the hand, and started walking towards the door. He barely stopped at their table, for a second to grab their things. And barely broke stride when the surprised waiter said,
"But Sir, your dinner?"
"We are not hungry right now. We will order up from room service."
Then pulling some money out of his pocket handed it to the waiter, who beamed at him.
Ashutosh pulled her into his arms, the minute the door was closed. Crushing her against himself, capturing her mouth with an urgency that had her reeling with its impact. Nidhi met him halfway, her eagerness matching his own. She sighed at the first touch of his lips against hers, and she melted against him as his tongue rimmed her lower lip. She willingly opened her mouth giving him access, while her own tongue slipped into his mouth, exploring him as her arms tugged him closer. She trembled as he plundered her mouth over and over, weaving an incredibly erotic spell, that had her going weak at the knees and sagging against him.
Ashu had never thought that he could loose control like this, but with Nidhi it seemed that he could not seem to control himself. Her soft questing hands were driving him insane, and he groaned in protest as she withdrew her mouth from his, tugging at his shirt in an effort to take it off of him. Ashutosh impatiently rid himself of it, giving her what she wanted, and pulled her back into his arms. He kissed her over and over desperately, running his hands frantically over her body, as if trying to reassure himself, yet again that she was truly there, and belonged to him. He slowly unwrapped her sari, her taking great care, as though unwrapping a precious gift. As soon as he had taken that off he reached for the hook at the back of her blouse, when Nidhi stopped him. He looked at her questioningly, an impatient frown forming on his face.
"Ashu, plz light band kar dijiye."
Ashutosh understood. He smiled and gently pulled her back into his arms, and placed a tender kiss to her lips,
"Nahin jaan, aaj nahin. I want to see you. I want to see the vision that has been haunting me for the last five years. The vision that has at times driven me to distraction, and yet at the same time, given me solace in the my most desperate moments. I have to see you Nidhi. I could not yesterday. But not today. Please my love, don't deny me this."
There was no way Nidhi could resist the pleading that she saw in his eyes. She nodded shyly, and blushed as she hid her face against him.
" I have been thinking about this all day. About how beautiful you are, and that you are finally mine, as you were always meant to be. I need to reassure myself that at last I have the right to touch you, to look at you. Nidhi I cannot stand there to be any barriers between us, whatsoever, not even your shyness my love. I will never let anything come between us ever again. I can't."
He said in a raspy voice, filled with desire and desperate emotion, as his hands moved slowly up behind her and untied the string at the top then moving down to undo the hooks. With painstaking care he slipped it off of her shoulders, groaning aloud at the touch of skin against skin as he pulled her close to his bare torso. Ashutosh wanted to pry her from him to look at her right then, but before he did that, he wanted to complete the task that he had started. So, with hurried efficiency he made quick work of the rest of her clothes, before he finally, stepped back from her.
Nidhi's first reaction was to cover her bareness, but she stopped herself, and was pleased, when she saw the adoration, and pure male admiration shining out from his eyes. She wanted to see this look in his eyes for her, always. The look that told her that in his eyes she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and that he belonged to her every bit as much as she belonged to him. Nidhi stood still in front of him, hiding nothing, not her feelings or her physical self, letting him look to his hearts content. After all she had been waiting for this all these years, hadn't she?
After what seemed like an eternity, Ashutosh lifted his eyes to hers,
"You are' You are so beautiful," he whispered and shook his head, momentarily at a loss for words. "Beyond anything I could possibly have imagined." He said dazedly.
Ashutosh reached for her. Gently. Tenderly. And she came to him with and unashamed, unmistakable eagerness. He laid her down gently on the bed, and came down beside her, bending his face to hers, his hands trailing a line of fire all across her body. Her skin felt just like the silk warm and vibrant, quivering beneath his hands. Heat sparked. Caught. Flared. And then exploded between them. The pounding of their hearts matched the distant pounding of the surf against the shoreline.
Ashutosh took his time in the re-discovering of her body. He had done so the previous night also, but that had been in the darkness. Right now he committed to visual memory what he had last night committed to a physical one. He trailed kisses and gentle nips everywhere his went, leaving her quivering and trembling with a desire so strong that it nearly melted her insides.
When she could take no more, she caught his wandering hands and pulled his face to hers, for a bone searing kiss.
"Now its my turn..."
And with that she treated him to some of the same exquisite torture that he had been subjecting her to just moments before. Never. Never had he experienced anything remotely similar this, Ashutosh thought, as she drove him crazy with her explorations. With Nidhi, everything was different. It was right. She was his, now and forever, he thought, as a feeling of intense possessiveness filled him. Then suddenly loosing all patience, he clutched her tightly to himself, and with one swift move, he reversed their positions and thrust his tongue into her mouth just as he slipped into her body. Ashutosh closed his eyes at the peace that filled him at their joining, holding steady and still as the wave of pleasure washed over him.
Nidhi too, was awash in sensation. The way he had pulled her into his arms, and was now clutching her against the enticing wall of his chest, the way he was tasting her, teasing her, made her whole body hum love and need. Nidhi wrapped her arms around Ashutosh's neck and pulled him closer to her. She loved him. It was that simple. So, she let love guide the way.
Their bodies mated with a stunning perfection as they clung to each other until the storm passed, and they both came back from that other world. Ashutosh kissed her over and over, telling her he loved her and was never going to let her go. Then slid off her, and drew her into his arms. He smiled as she snuggled close, running her hands over his chest, in a possessive gesture.
"Are you putting your stamp of possession on me, or are you just reinforcing it?"
Nidhi levered herself up, and brought them face to face with each other.
"Which do you think it is?"
She said with a perfectly serious expression.
Ashutosh smiled, and wrapped his hand around to the back of her neck, pulling her down close enough for their lips to be touching without actually kissing her.
"Doesn't matter! The stamp has always been there. Ever since I first laid eyes on you, I have been yours. But it feels good to here you acknowledge that once again."
She looked into his eyes intently, and said
"I love you.
As she brought her lips to his, and proceeded to complete what he had started, before once again snuggling down next to him.
"Nidhi..."
"Hmmm..."
She murmured sleepily.
" I've been thinking about what Khushi said this morning. You know about giving her a baby brother or sister. It might not be such a bad idea. You know what I mean? Khushi is 4 years old, and by the time we have a baby she will be five. That's a good age gap to have between children. Anymore would be too much. And I would love to have a baby. You got Khushi when she was a newborn, so you got to see her at all stages. I would love to have that with our baby. I have always wanted to see you pregnant with our child. So what do you say? Huh?"
Ashutosh had barely noticed Nidhi going still, right after the first sentence. But, he frowned as she untangled herself from his arms and sat up.
"Ashutosh Khushi is as much my child, as if she had come from my body. I don't think that having a biological child, would change that."
Ashutosh sat up slowly, and gently turned her so that she was looking at him,
"Nidhi, when did say that another child make a difference in my feelings or attitude. When did I imply that it could ever make a difference to yours. All I was saying was that I want us to have a baby together. And Biological or not, even though I am four years too late, it makes little difference to what I feel for khushi. I have loved that child since I first laid eyes on her, when I saw her run out of this house into your arms, the day I came back to India. She will always be our first child, no matter how many other children we may or may not have. I am not wanting to replace her. I just want to add another little one to our family. I thought that you knew that."
Nidhi, lowered her eyes, feeling ashamed at misunderstanding him,
"I am sorry Ashutosh, I thought that..."
"Its alright Nidhi. I understand. Khushi is your daughter. But sweetheart, she is mine too. Please don't forget that. I might not have had her as long long as you have, but that does not mean that I love her any less than you do. You are forgetting that I too am an orphan who was adopted. So I can absolutely understand you and also Khushi. Nidhi, sweetheart...don't misunderstand me. Please. We have had enough of that to last us a life time. I love you sweetheart. Please let me into your heart all the way. I can't stand being an outsider in a place I ruled over once."
Nidhi squeezed her eyes, as her heart wrenched at the pain in his voice, and as she felt the hot tears leaking out from beneath her lashes. She threw her arms around him.
"Ashutosh, you are my heart, and you still rule it. I am so sorry for hurting you. Its just that I am so sensitive over Khushi's adoption and people's comments, that I forgot you are not one of them. Please forgive me. I know you love her."
Ashutosh hugged her tightly against himself,
"Hey I didn't mean to make you cry. Come on sweetheart, forget it. Par mere sawaal ka jawab toh do."
"Kaunsa sawal?"
"Nidhi, I want us to have another child."
"Ashu we just got married, can't we enjoy this and each other for a little while first. Plus we have Khushi. I am not saying that I don't want to have a baby, I do, really! But I think that you need to spend time with the child that we do have, and get to know each other first. Bond with each other before we have another baby. We have time."
"Honey Khushi and I already have a close bond, and it will only get stronger as time goes on. But sweetheart, I will not get any younger. Lets face it, whether we acknowledge it or not, we cannot negate our age difference. Honey, I am 42 years old. If we wait too much longer I will be too old to enjoy any other children that we maight have."
"Main samajhti hooh aap kya keh rahein hain. Par Ashutosh abhi I am not ready. I need time...Please try and understand. I want us to spend time together, and get to know each other all over again. We have been apart for five years. And they have been hard ones for the both of us, we are two different people now, from who we were then. Lets first see whether or not we can even..."
Ashutosh got out of bed, and put his pants on, then turned to face her, and said quietly,
"Whether we can...What Nidhi? What were you going to say? Whether we can live together? Or whether we will still love each other after a while, or whether we can even make a go of this marriage? What Nidhi? Which of these were you hinting at? Or was it all of them? You have doubts about us right? You don't believe that this is going to work out? If you didn't think that we could stay together, why did you agree to this marriage. And don't say family pressure. I know you too well to believe that. You would not give in to anything, unless you really wanted too, no matter how much pressure was put on you...Nidhi do you even love me, or is it just the memories of us that you still love."
And he turned away and walked up to the window, and stared out into the night. Nidhi slid out of bed shrugging on her robe and tied it as she walked up behind him. Wrapping her arms around his waist from the back, she leaned against him
"Jaan, I know that I have hurt you. But please do not say things like that. Please do not doubt my love for you. I have never doubted your love, not for a second. Even when you broke up with me, and the day you married Mallika, I knew that you loved me. It is that love, and the certainty of that love, that carried me through the years we were apart. The absolute knowledge that no matter where you were, no matter whom you were with, you loved me, was my greatest strength. I love you Ashutosh."
Ashutosh Sighed, he had hurt her. He knew that she loved him, but she had hurt him with her doubts. The baby was not important here, it was the reason behind her hesitancy to have one, that was the issue. He slowly brought his hands up and put them over hers, where they rested against his stomach. Then a few seconds later, he felt something warm and wet on his back. Ashutosh freed himself and turned around to look at her. She was crying. She looked lost and lonely, and it broke his heart. He couldn't have that, never! Not for all the world could he stand to see her like this. He could bear all the pain for himself, but he could never let her be in pain. Ashutosh enfolded her in his arms, and felt her silent sobs.
"Hey, no crying. That's not allowed. This is supposed to be our Honeymoon. Well...sort of anyway, only with our whole family. Nidhi, bas, please don't cry.. I am sorry honey. I hurt you. I didn't mean it sweetheart. I know you love me. I was hurt, that's why I said that. Really! I promise . Please don't cry honey, it tears me up inside to see you like this, and to know that I am the cause of it.?Nidhi...My Love...please..."
"I love you Ashutosh."
"I know sweetheart. I know."
He said tightening his arms around her.
They stayed like that for a while, then Nidhi slowly leaned back and looked up at him,
"I am sorry hurt you. I guess I let my insecurities get the better of me. Ashutosh, I know you love me. And I know that you are mine, and will never leave me again. It's just that sometimes I get so scared that I will loose you again. Aisa kabhi hua toh iss baar main jee nahin paungi. Mai aapke bina nahin reh sakti."
"Nidhi Nothing, I reapeat Nothing will ever take me from you again. The only time I will leave you this time is when I die. Nothing short of that will ever separate us. I promise."
"I know. Its just me. I am so sorry. I..."
Ashutosh could not stand it any more, he swooped down and stopped any further words of apology that she might have said, by taking her mouth in a kiss that was like a soothing balm. He was gentle, tender, and he put all his love into that one kiss. With it he tried to reassure her, that all was well, and that he loved her. After a several minutes, he lifted his face away to look into her eyes, and smiled
"Our first fight. I knew that you would find some excuse to fight with me sooner or later but this soon. I think that this is a record for you Nidhi. Mujhe nahin pata tha, ke tum itni jaldi mujhse ladai kar baithogi."
He said with a devilish grin, knowing full well that his statement would provoke her. He was Right! Nidhi looked outraged.
"Mai! Mai ladi ke liye excuses dhoondhti hoon? I am the one who fights with you?"
"Aur nahin toh kya? Yaad hai, pehle bhi tum kissi na kissi cheez ke bahane mujhe ladti thi, aur mai tumhare peeche peeche ghoomta rehta tha, tumko kissi tarha manane ke chakkar mein."
Nidhi could not believe it. He was standing there accusing her of things she had done, when it had been the exact opposite. He had been the one to pick fights over inconsequential things, and she had been the one who always tried to find ways to make up.
"Theek hai toh phir mai ladti hoon na, toh phir yeh hi sahi. Ok, toh hamari ladai hai. Aap udhar couch par so sakte hain. I am sure you do not want to sleep with a wife who fights, Yes?"
She whirled around, ready to walk away, when he caught her and jerked her back against him, and turned her around to face him, trapping her in a vice like grip, with his arms like steel bands around her. He grinned as she tried to pry herself loose.
"Please let go of me."
"No."
"Mai toh ladi karti hoon na. Ladai ke liye excuses dhoondhti hoon..."
"Yep, That you do."
"Toh then why are you holding me."
"Because I have only one wife. Agar tumhe chod diya to main kya karunga."
"Go find someone who doesn't pick fights."
"No can do sweetheart. Yo are stuck with me. I love my wife, even though she fights."
"Well your wife doesn't love you."
"Oh yes she does. And I can prove it."
He placed his lips on hers, preventing any further arguments and slipped her robe off of her before carrying her over to the bed. As his hand worked their magic on her body, and mind, her struggles became weaker, until she gave up and began responding. This time the urgency and desperation came from her. She gave her self uninhibitedly over to him, pouring her entire self, and her love for him in this act of love. This time it was she who took the lead, and Ashutosh let her. He knew that she needed this. He knew very well the demons that drove her to show her love through their love making. He never knew that his Nidhi could be so passionate, not that he was complaining of course, he thought as he gave himself mindlessly into her care.
Nidhi poured everything she had into it, and finally when they were done, she lay beside him replete and at peace. In a way this love making had been like a catharsis for her, and she was grateful to her husband for understanding and letting her have her way. She realized how selfish she had been. No matter what, there was no reason to let her complexes and insecurities get in the way of their coming together. Of course, her issues would not go away over night. She had lived with them for five years, it would take some time to purge herself of her doubts. But, she resolved, she would not let her issues come between them again. They both had gone through a lot to be together, specially Ashutosh. He had had to suffer all alone,, while she at least had a family that supported her, and cared about her. His own father had betrayed him. He had sacrificed his own son for the sake of friendship. She could not even begin to imagine how that might feel. and on top of that the guilt and grief of loosing her...No she could not, would not let anything, even herself hurt this precious man again. He would never admit it, but he was very vulnerable. In some ways he was more innocent than she was. Ashutosh always liked to believe the best of people. He always gave his all, and wound up getting hurt. No more, he was hers and she would always protect him and take care of him.
"Ashu..."
"I like it when you call me that."
"What?"
"Ashu...you say it with so much love. Pehele toh tum hamesha Ashutosh, hi bolti thi. And I loved that too. But this, sounds so much better. So much more personal, sooo...You know. So sexy, every time you say it I feel like making love to you all over again."
Nidhi laughed, and placed a small kiss on his chest.
"Phir toh I had better stop saying it. Nahin toh app mujhe kabhi iss bed se uthne hi nahin doge. And we can't afford that. We have a little girl who needs us."
Ashutosh rose up and towered over her,
"Don't you dare stop."
He growled, and kissed her hard, before laying back again. He smiled as he felt her squeezing his waist in a hug.
"Ashu...I was thinking maybe we could..."
He interrupted her,
" Please don't think. Dekho iss samay kuch nahin ho sakta. I am too tired. I am still reeling from our last mind blowing encounter."
Nidhi made an embarrassed sound, and pounded him lightly on his chest.
"Hey! No need to get violent sweetheart. Maine kaha na thoda waqt do mujhe. Let me recover, and then I will see what I can do."
"Ashutosh!"
Nidhi said in an exasperated voice,
"Please be serious. Meri baat toh suniye."
"My love I am always serious about making love to you. But theek hai bolo, kya baat hai. Mai sun raha hoon."
"Ashutosh I was thinking that maybe you were right. Maybe we should have a baby. After all the time is right. And Khushi is at the perfect age to have a younger sibling. And mai bhi toh 27 saal ki ho gayi hoon. I think it would be perfect"
Ashu levered himself up, again, and leaned over her,
"Nidhi, sweetheart I thought we settled that. Honey, I know you love me. You don't need to try and prove it that way. The baby is not important right now. We are. The family we have right now is. Let us concentrate on that for the time being. And when the time is right, and you feel more secure in our relationship, then we can talk about this again. I don't ever want you to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing, just for my sake. And something like having a child, well both of us need to be ready and want that, not just you or just me. Sweetheart I love you. I understand your fears. I just want you. I don't need anything else. Nothing and no one is more important to me than you. But I love you more for even thinking of doing something this big, just for me."
Nidhi reached up and cupped his face in both hands,
"Nahin, main yeh aapke liye nahin, hamare liye kar rahi hoon. I won't lie to you. Yes I have doubts, I am insecure about us. But not because, I don't love you, or that I love you any less. Its because, if anything, I love you much much more now than I ever did before. Hum bahut mushkil se phir se mille hain. I am scared of loosing you again. I know this fear is baseless, but still, it's there. and I can't negate that fact. But, I do have to deal with it. The only way to do that is to go on and live normally, and not let my fear rule our lives. i want us to be happy Ashutosh. We both deserve it. I know that you love Khushi. So do I. I also know that having another child, will not take away from that love. It will only increase it. Khushi ne bhi toh yahi kiya hai na hamare liye. She brought us together. We have so much love between the three of us. I think that we should have another child, and increase it even more. So...What do you say?"
Ashutosh looked at her in awe. Amazed at the level of her maturity and ability to assess and redress her own flaws and faults. Her capacity to love and her generosity of heart, absolutely floored him on occasion.
"Kuch boliye na."
"Can you call me Ashu again..."
Nidhi's face lit up and she laughed, a wonderful sound, that warmed his whole being.
"Abhi nahin...thodi der mein. Abhi you are recovering na..."
They both looked at each other, and grinned, love shining out of their eyes, as their world once again righted itself.
The rest of their vacation passed quickly enough after that... And as it turned out, they did not get to be alone the next day.
When they went to Anji and Rangnath's room the next morning, they found out that Anji was having a severe bout of morning sickness that had left her feeling really weak, and Rangnath, who had a worried look on his face, insisted that she had to rest. Ashutosh and Nidhi had agrred with him. They took the children into their care, and left the would be parents to take care of each other. They did not mind though, they had a great time with both the girls. And, their nights were still their own, with a magical quality to them that brought them closer together, and helped lay the foundation for a better stronger bond between them.
The day they were due to fly back arrived all to soon. Nidhi had already done Anji's packing, despite the fact that Anji protested that she was perfectly capable of doing that herself, and was now in the process of doing her own. She was worried about her friend. They were all worried, so between the three of them, Ashutosh Rangnath and her, they had taken over all the chores and duties. Nidhi and Ashutosh had had a talk to Rangnath, who had agreed that Anji should visit the doctor as soon as they got back home.
Anji had had a hard time even conceiving Nishi. And according to the doctor, it was a miracle that she had. So, when Nishi had been born, the doctor had said that the likelihood of her conceiving again was an impossibility. Anji and Rangnath had been devastated, but had resigned to the fact, and consoled themselves that that God had given them one child at least. They had both been towers of strength for her, and treated Khushi as if she was heir own. There was no way that she would have made it without them. So now I was her turn. Nidhi decided that now it was up to her to make sure that Anji stayed well, so that she and Rangnath could have a happy and healthy baby. She would not let anything happen to either of them, if it was in her power to do so.
She was in the middle of packing, when she felt a pair of arms come around her from he back. Nidhi smiled, as Ashutosh nuzzled her neck.
" Have I told you I love you, today?"
" Yes you have, lots of times. And I love you too. But, abhi time nahin hai. Mujhe packing karni hai, aur bacchon ko bhi tayyar karna hai. Phir humein flight bhi to catch karni hai na?"
Ashutosh chuckled, turned her around for a quick kiss, and then turned her around again so that she could finish her task.
"I know that. I was just cuddling my wife. Now can I help it if I find myself wanting to make love to her all the time."
"I know. And as happy as I am that my husband feels like that, I really need him to stop distracting me. I..."
"Yes, yes, I know...packing..."
Nidhi smiled and turned back to the job, but frowned at the knock on her door. When she saw Rangnath, she smiled at him.
"Jeej I am almost done. Do you need anything? Mujhe abhi bacchon ko bhi tayyar karna hai. Aur..."
Then she looked at his face, and the serious expression that was there. Nidhi paled,
" Anji...She's...she's alright? Usse..."
"Nahin Nidhi. Calm down. Anji is perfectly alright. She is resting upstairs, don't worry."
"Toh phir kya baat hai?"
The look on his face, her gave her a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"Then..."
He did not answer her directly, but turned to Ashutosh.
"Sir..."
He said forgetting, that he had stopped addressing Ashutosh like that a few days ago,
"Sir I just received a message from the hospital. It seems that Dr. Mallika is back. She is looking for you Sir."
He saw the shocked and horrified expression Ashutosh's face before he turned to Nidhi. He was just in time to see her go pale right before she sank down onto the floor with a thump!
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