Ashutosh ke Nazar se- FF/ Chap 6 Final Chap pg 39 - Page 8

Chapter. 2

Ashutosh stared at Nidhi, as she got into the car with Rohan, and drove off without even glancing in his direction. She had looked so excited and happy. He wished that he could see her look that way towards him again, and felt an unreasonable surge of resentment towards Rohan. The whole day, the image of the two of them stayed in his mind, it kept nagging at him and bothering him so much that he found it difficult to concentrate on his work. After a little while he gave up completely, and checked to his schedule for day. After finding out that he had nothing urgent going on, he he called and left a message at the front desk that he was leaving for the rest of the day, and if needed he could be reached via his mobile.

He got into his car, and started towards home. Even while driving, he could not stop thinking about Nidhi, and her recent behavior towards him. He knew that this 'I don't care' attitude that she was showing in front of him was just that, a show. But what he did not like was that, she was getting so good at this show of indifference towards him, that if he didnt know better, would be almost too sincere. This morning, there had not been even a flicker of emotion, or even the slightest reaction that she had seen him standing in the parking area, smiling at her with open arms. When had it gotten so bad? How had it gotten so bad, he wondered. He knew that she loved him, and right now that was the only thing that was keeping him going.

He did not know how long he been driving, or even where he was heading, all he knew was that, he did not want to return home just yet. And why would he, after all what there, except a whole bunch of memories that kept hounding him day and night. And of course Baba. Baba, was there at home waiting for him, but it was not the same. Baba had at one time, been his whole world, but even he wasn't enough for him anymore, he needed his wife. He knew that Baba, even though he had not said a word since Ashutosh had refused his request to call Nidhi back home, held him responsible for the whole fight that had led to his granddaughter walking out of her home.

He did not feel like going home and seeing the accusations in his fathers eyes. And, more so now, when he himself was begining to realize that the majority of the blame did lie on his shoulders. He had tried putting the blame on Nidhi, by calling her immature, but the question that did not want to face was, had she really behaved that immaturely ? Were her reactions not normal, given the circumstances? Granted that the accusations that she had hurled at him had been unjust and unwarranted, but then she had been angry. And didn't he justify that his asking her to leave, had been words said in the heat of the moment, not at all meant to be taken literally. So if he could say things in anger and not mean them, couldn't she. And he had accused her of being immature, but what about him? He was older and more mature, what excuse did he have? In fact, there had been times, when he himself had admitted that she acted more mature and responsibly then a lot of women older than her. So why had he gotten so angry, why had he acted so defensive? After all, if he had not done anything wrong, then why was he feeling so guilty all of a sudden? All these questions and many more, were eating away at his conscience, when he finally turned the car around and headed home.

When he got home he found that Baba was waiting for him in the living room.

-Ashutosh beta, where have you been? I called the hospital and was told that you had left hours ago, and I was beginning to get worried.

-Kya baat hai Baba, koi kaam tha?

-Nahin bas aise hi, bahut din ho gaye the tere saath baith ke raat ka khaana khaye, toh maine socha ke hospital phone karke pooch loon ke tu kab free hone wala hai. Phir, jab wahin se pata chala ke tere ko gaye hue kaafi der ho gayi hai, toh thodisi chinta hone lagi thi, aur kuch nahin?

-Baba, aisi koi baat nahin thi. Bas kaam thoda jaldi khatam ho gaya tha, iss liye man kara ke choti si drive pe chala jaoon, that's all.

-Ashu, beta tu bhool raha hai, Maine tujhe bachpan se paala hai. Main tujhe shayad tujhse bhi behtar jaanta hoon. Jab bhi tu zyada pareshan ya stressed hota tha, hamesha gaadi lekar drive par chala jaata tha.

Mujhe pataa hai ke tu kisi baat par pareshan hai, apne Baba ko nahin batayega kya hua hai?

Ashu looked at his father, not by blood, but of the heart. In all ways but biologically, this man was his father, in every way. He knew exactly what was bothering him, but he wanted Ashutosh to voice his concerns by himself. Ashu knew that sooner or later he would have to talk to Baba, there was no way out of that, so now was as good a time as any, he supposed. So, he sighed and sat down and told Baba about everything that had happened since his return from Delhi. He told Baba, about Amar, and his infatuation and flirtation with Nidhi, and also of her reactions, and how she had finally dealt with the whole situation. Ashu, also told Baba, how he had begun to see things from her point of view, and also put all the questions that had kept hounding his psyche during the past couple of days, in front of him. He also told Baba, about the incident with Rohan this morning.

During this whole time Baba, kept silent and listened intently to everything Ashutosh had to say. When he stopped, Baba looked up at him.

-So, what do you intend to do now beta. Do you have any intentions of trying to resolve the issues between you and Nidhi or not?

-Baba I want to, but I don't know where to begin? Plus I am not convinced that it was all my fault, some of it was hers also. And now look at the way she is behaving! She acts as if I don't exist. And when she is forced to acknowledge my existence, she acts as if she doesnt know me. She is so stubborn, I have tried to talk to her, but she rebuffs me at every chance. She won't even give me a chance to apologize, or explain my point of view. She wont even let me get near her long enough, to even try. What do I do Baba. And then this morning, she just ran past me as if I was not even there. She was totally focused on Rohan. I mean, I know that he is her friend and he has a special place in her life, but I am her husband, I should come first! How can she just ignore me this way, for him, after all she loves me, not him.

-Ashu beta did you just hear yourself? Did you hear what you just said, in those last three sentences of yours. Zara apne aap ko suno beta. You said that "he is her friend, but I am her husband". And that she loves you not him, And that she shouldn't ignore you, and that you should come first in her priorities. Beta think about it. Isn't that exactly what she was saying to you?

Baba, looked at him, and his eyes dared Ashu to lie to him. Ashutosh opened his mouth to give an answer, but he had none, so he closed his mouth again, and just stared.

-Beta, how many women, or for that matter men, do you know that would send their husband/wife to save the life of the person that tried to kill them? How many, people do you know who would have had the magnanimity to forgive Mallika the way she did? How many would have just let her go, without handing her over to the law? How can you possibly justify classifying her as, immature? Yes, she does Act immature at times, buts that's due to her age. She is still very young. But acting immature at times, and being immature, are two different things. Then look at that whole time when Mallika was here in this house, and you'll see how well she handled the whole situation. The amount of times she was mistreated, by the both of us, and also faced our accusations towards her in defense of Mallika, she would have been more than justified to leave you and this house then too. But why didn't she? So then, you have to ask yourself, why this time? What happened this time that was different, what happened that made her leave you? All those question that you had put before me, were not that important, these are. Beta, that time Mallika was in the house, everything that happened, took place in front of her. Nidhi knew that you saw what was being shown to you, not that it didn't hurt her then too, to see that you believed Mallika over her, I am sure it did.

- I understand all of that Baba. But then how do you explain her accusations against me? She really hurt me baba. I did not deserve that.

BB sighed- Ashu, beta I guess that there are some things that a person needs to realize on their own. No matter how much I try to explain, it won't matter. But let me leave you with a few thoughts and you think about it, OK? If Nidhi, really believed all of the things she accused you of, would she have sent you to Mallika in the first place? Second didn't you just say a few minutes ago that sometimes people said things in anger, that they really didn't mean? And knowing Nidhi, if you had told her everything you were doing for Mallika, before hand and discussed it with her, would she have ever taken such a big step as leaving you? Sure she doesn't like or trust Mallika, but can you really blame her for that? And then, when she asked you to keep Mallika out of your lives, was she really asking for something so big, that you couldn't honor her wishes? Then, when you deliberately lied and hid truths from her, she felt betrayed and angry, and acted out, was that such a big crime?

What would you have done if the situation had been reversed? Ashu, beta, it is always nice to try and justify yourself, and accuse someone else, but before you do that, think , and try to put yourself in that persons place and see how you would have reacted.

And the stuff with Rohan this morning, well isn't he her friend, just as Mallika is yours? Beta, chahe dosti 12 saal ki ho, ya phir 12 minute ki, rishta to dil ka hi hai na. Agar tum apne dost ka sahara ban sakte ho, toh kya Rohan, Nidhi ka sahara nahin ban sakta? What's wrong if she gets excited at seeing her friend, after all it's been a while since she last saw him. And you told me yourself how much she depended on him during your previous separation, and how much he supported her and took care of her. And weren't you the one who asked him too? I am sure that she must had come to rely on him a lot during that time. And think how she must feel right now, how lonely she must feel. I know that she has her father and Dadi Bua, but it's not the same. She can't talk to them as freely as she could to a friend. So for her Rohan probably is a godsend, right about now. Why wouldn't she be happy to see him? You used to talk to Mallika about everything also na, and depended on her support, so, same goes for Nidhi ? Why does it bother you so much if she has some one other than you that she can trust and depend on, in her time of need. That's what friends are for, yeah? That's what you do for Mallika, time and again, irrespective of her crimes. And Nidhi also needs some one to be there for her right now, after all you are not are you? Beta, look past yourself, your friendship, and your ego, maybe you'll find the answers. But whatever it is, this is something that no one can help you with. You dug your own pit, now you need to find a way out of it by yourself! Just as I must. I am also to blame for this mess. I could have done things differently. Anyway, we all have our own burdens to bear.

After dinner, Ashutosh went to his room. And as usual, sleep evaded him. He thought back on his conversation with Baba. Baba, had pointed out some things that he had already realized, he had raised some of the same questions that Ashutosh had asked himself, and to some extent had also found the answers too. But there was still some things that Baba had pointed out that he had never even paid attention to. And if he were to answer to everything truthfully...

Ashutosh, once again found himself in front of a mirror, and the image there in front of him was not something to be proud of.

He had find all the answers, and knew that they were all within himself, before he could even make an attempt at reconciliation. He had to find a resolution for all their issues, before he could go to her an ask her to come back. Because if he didn't, he as afraid that they would end up in this situation again, and then they would never be able to find their way back to each other again. He had to be the one to do this, because it was his responsibility as her husband, and also for being older than her, in both age and worldly experience. Even all of these realizations did not ease the loneliness or the ache in his heart, or fill the empty space on the other side of his bed, he thought sadly, as he passed his hand over the space where Nidhi used to sleep. He wanted her back, in his arms, in his bed, in his life, in his house, and most of all he wanted her to take him back into her heart. His life was meaningless without her in it. And in the midst of this all, somehow his pride had ceased to matter.

About 15 minutes away, sitting on the rooftop terrace of her father house, looking at the moonlit night, Nidhi was thinking about her husband also. She remembered another moonlit night just like this one, less then a year ago, when she had been staring out at the moon. At that time she had been so excited, so happy. That was the day that she and Ashutosh discovered that they loved each other. A new and beautiful phase of her life had just begun. And today, she had no idea where she was, or where she was headed. Everything was such a mess. They were so close yet so far apart. Each day was a new hell waiting to be faced. She did not know how long she would be able to last without Ashutosh. As it was, it took all her willpower just to and keep up her facade of indifference, in front of him. It's just that she was getting so tired of constantly pretending and putting on a brave face, and smiling, in front of Dadi Bua and her father at home, and showing indifference in front of Ashutosh at the hospital. And in between putting on a show for Ashutosh, Baba, and Dadi Bua, she had nothing left to give herself. She was dying a slow death day by day, and it was starting to take a toll on her, mentally and emotionally. It had also begun to show in her physical appearance. She had circles underneath her eyes, and had begun to loose weight, although that was not a big deal, she had been wanting to loose some weight anyway. She remembered when she had complained about her weight to Ashutosh a couple of months ago, he had taken her in his arms, and told her her that he loved her and too him she was perfect as she was. She smiled thinking of that and all the other times and memories like that, some fun , some romantic, some peaceful and some passionate, but all very very precious to her. Right about now those memories were all she had, that kept her going, and giving her the strength to face each day. Whenever she was sad or very lonely, she would just close her eyes and think about him and imagine his arms around her, and all her tensions and stress seemed to vanish and she felt better, even if just for a little while. It had been so long, almost a lifetime it seemed, since she had been held by him.

Just thinking about Ashutosh was enough to bring a smile to her face.

Then she remembered their fight and the reasons for she had left him and their home, and the sad and lost look came back into her eyes, along with a steady stream of tears. She knew what he thought of her, immature, childish, irresponsible. Maybe he was right. She had made her fair share of mistakes, and had been an equal contributor in their separation. In retrospect she could have done things differently. Maybe she should have sat him down and tried to explain things to him. Maybe she should have listened to him a little better. But, no amount of wishing could turn back the clock. She knew that she had been wrong to accuse him like that. She had not meant any of those things, but, somehow she could not get past her insecurities regarding Dr. Mallika . Ever since the beginning she had been a continual thorn in her side. Mallika had tried everything in her power to separate them, and when nothing had worked, she had gone so far as trying to kill Nidhi. How does one even begin to forget all that, and she had tried, she had honestly tried for Ashutosh's sake. And there was a brief space of time during which she had thought that finally she was beginning to leave the past behind. But with her return, Mallika had once again brought back all the old feelings to a fore, with a vengeance because this time she was also pregnant, and alone. And for Nidhi, this time, in some ways was even worse.

She knew that Ashutosh desperately wanted a child. But she did not, and she had asked him for two years. Two years in which Nidhi wanted to live for her self to accomplish something in her life, to maybe make something of herself, to achieve something. And reluctantly, very reluctantly, Ashutosh had granted her request. Although she knew that she had hurt him a lot by denying him, she had pretended not to notice his hurt and disappointment. She had pretended that everything was alright between them, pretended that this had been a mutual decision. She had been deluding herself, she had been living in a bubble of denial, which had burst the day Mallika had come back into their lives once again, and on top of that she was pregnant, a fact which Ashutosh had hidden from her for a long time. She didn't think that he would have told her, even when he did, but the circumstances had been such that he had been forced to. And that had hurt. And that was when all these little doubts had begun to creep into her mind, that maybe he was taking care of Mallika because of her baby, because subconsciously she had been fulfilling his desire to be a father, which Nidhi had denied him. She knew that he loved her and only her, and yet she could not make herself get rid of these thoughts which had taken root within her. But she had tried. She had honestly tried. And she had also repeatedly asked Ashutosh to stay away from Mallika, but he had disregarded her feelings, yet again. She had been through this same scenario before also, during Mallikas stay at their house. Ashutosh had continuously prioritized Mallika, and her feelings and her words above his wife.

He had continuously hurt her by his insensitivity, lack of understanding and trust, and constant accusations of purposely trying to be harm to his friend due her jealousy towards Mallika. She had taken all of that and kept smiling, she had forgiven him over and over again whenever he had said sorry or expressed remorse, she had even forgiven him, when he had said nothing at all, and still had his accusatory attitude towards her. She had tried to understand him. But what hurt the most was that he had never understood her, or her feelings, he had never even bothered about her pain or tears. In fact, he had not seen anything beyond Mallika, and his friendship for her. And this time, once again had been a repeat. That he could have so easily forgotten and dismissed the fact that Mallika had tried to separate them and had made an attempt on her life, broke her heart. Once again all he saw was Mallika. Once again she and her needs had taken priority in his eyes. Once again he had totally disregarded Nidhi's fears and her insecurities, and even her, over his perceived duty towards his friend. All the old wounds inside her which barely begun to heal, in fact they were still pretty fresh, had begun to bleed once again, at his lack of concern for her. She knew that her accusations had been unjust, but in her anger and pain, she could not stop herself from saying all of those things. And once again he had failed to see past those words of anger, to the pain she was suffering. Once again he had told her to leave. Everytime they had any serious arguments or fights, he told her to leave. How could he just ask her to leave their house, he kept on saying his house, wasn't it hers as well? Was it that easy for him, how could he say such a hurtful thing to her over and over again, and not expect her to take his words seriously? How could he expect her to keep on overlooking everything time and again. How long could she keep on letting her self respect and pride keep on suffering for the sake of love. Moreover how long could her love survive if she kept on letting him do this to her over and over again.

She had made the mistake of thinking that if she left, he would realize her place in his life and would miss her. She had thought that, just like her, he would also not be able to live without her. She had thought that he would not let her leave, or the very least, would come and demand that she go back home with him, when he found out. But, he had not done any of those things. She laughed softly to herself, she had been such a fool, when did life ever stop for anybody, it just went on. Since the day she had left his house, he had not missed a single opportunity, to reprimand her or to pick out even the tiniest of mistakes, and that to in public. Sometimes, she wondered if he even loved her or had ever at all. There was nothing in his behavior towards her to indicate any sign of softening, or even the tiniest hint that he still loved her. Nidhi, had never felt so alone in her life, ever.

She knew that Baba, and Dadi Bua were there for her, but it was not the same. She couldn't talk to them, not really, and definitely not about what was going on inside her, they would never understand. Right now all of their time and energy was spent in thinking of ways with which to get them both back together again. She had to smile at some of their schemes, they were so cute. She was very thankful for them and to them for loving her so much, but they would never understand that until both Ashutosh and her sorted out their basic issues there would never be a 'them' ever again. Maybe it was ego on her part, or pride or self respect, whatever, it was that was getting in the way, and she had no idea what. But all she knew was that this time she could not, she would not be the first to give in, if she did then the cost would be herself.

On the surface Ashutosh might think that she left because of Mallika, but Mallika had never been the real issue, she had definitely been a big part of the problem, but never the basic issue. The basic issue, as far as she was concerned was the way Ashutosh always disregarded her and her feelings, the way he refused to listen to her, and give importance to her wants and needs. The problem was that she always felt as though she was on the back burner of his life, brought to the front only when Mallika wasn't around, but put back again and forgotten and disregarded, whenever she was.

All she wanted was a bit of reassurance from his end, about her place in his life and his priorities. All she wanted from him was to know that she was as important to him as he was to her, and that he loved her and placed her above all else, and then nothing would have bothered her. Not even his taking care of Mallika and her unborn child, in fact she would have helped him and supported him like she always had before. It had not been too much to expect from him, at least she did not think so. Was it so wrong for a wife to expect to come first in her husbands life? Was it so wrong of her to expect him to listen to her and to respect her feelings. There were days that she just want to say hell with self respect, and to go up to him and just put her head on his shoulders and just let go. But the thought of facing this situation again, and it would happen she knew that, stopped her. This needed to be resolved otherwise they would be right back to square one, and this time there was no way she would survive a separation from him.

She was so close to the breaking point even now, which was why she had been so happy to see Rohan, out in the parking lot today. Rohan was one of her best friends. He had been there for her and supported her at a time when even her father and Dadi Bua had turned their backs on her. He alone had been on her side. He had helped her and given her the courage to go on, when she had lost all hope. In a way that's what he represented for her, hope. He had spent the whole day with her, in some ways it was almost like old times. Almost, but not quite. There were many things that still needed to be resolved between her and Rohan too.

Nidhi, sighed dejectedly. It seemed that her life had become one big issue, one after the other, no sooner had she resolved one, when another came up and stared at her in the face. First was her age difference with the man she loved, then the stress of him not being accepted by her family, then when they had finally gotten married, Dr. Mallika, who just kept popping up in their lives, and adding her baggage to everything as well. And there was Rohan, her friend, probably the best friend she had ever had. In some ways he was even dearer to her than even Anji had ever been. His friendship and support had been unconditional, and limitless. She had counted on him and depended on him so much. She had not even realized how much till he had abruptly left her life right after her marriage ceremony. He had fallen in love with her, and she had not even known when. She knew that it had not been her fault. Rohan had known from the beginning that she loved Ashutosh, and that there would be no one else for her other than him, in this life. Rohan himself had helped unite them in the first place. But she knew better than anyone else that love just happened, you couldn't control it. But you could control how you dealt with it. And Rohan, knowing the reality had chosen to make his love known to her. Of course, that had been his choice, but Nidhi felt that maybe if had had hidden that fact, there wouldn't be this hesitation, this constraint between them today.

The next second she shook herself. She was being really selfish, she realized, and very critical, of a friend who had done nothing but help and support her always, even to the point of staying and seeing her get married, even when he knew that he would be suffering unbearable pain, just because it had been her wish that he be there. She had been so full of herself, she thought. She had purposely turned a blind eye to his pain, and had not seen anything beyond her happiness at getting married to the love of her life. She had been very selfish and self centered. If there was one wish that god could grant her, she would wish happiness for her friend, and wish that he had never fallen in love with her. She would not wish anything for herself, not even Ashutosh. She would not be selfish again. She loved Rohan with all her heart, but only as a friend, always as a friend, only. Her most dearest and precious friend.

Nidhi needed her friend now desperately, only she did not want to trouble him with her problems. She needed to solve them on her own, and hadn't she already been enough of a burden in his life already. Just his being here was enough for her. He had always been her friend, and now it was her turn to be his. She was so lost in her thoughts that she never even noticed when Rohan came up. The first time that she noticed him was, when he quietly called her name.

-Rohan, I had no idea you were here. How long have you been standing there just looking at me. And why are you, looking at me that is? Do I look funny or something

Rohan, did not answer, he just stood there staring at her, almost as if were seeing her for the first time. His stare was beginning to unnerve her.

-Rohan say something. Why are you staring at me?

-Actually I was wanting to ask you who you were? And where my friend was. I came up here looking for my best friend Nidhi, and I find a stranger in her place. I was just confused that's all. After all, you have to be careful, na, what to say in front of people you don't recognize.

Nidhi looked at him puzzled, what was wrong with him, she thought, why was he talking to her like that?

-Rohan, what are you talking about?

-I though that I was pretty clear, I asked you where my friend Nidhi was?

-Rohan I have no idea what you're trying to do, or what you mean?

She said irritably.

-Nidhi, it's you who's being stupid, not me. You are not the same person, I left behind a few months ago. You're not the friend that I knew.

What happened to my my best friend. Where did she go. My friend was full of life, and she had a smile that could light up an entire room with its brightness. You have changed Nidhi, all I see here is a shell, of the person you used to be. What happened to you ? I've been trying to figure you out all day. You used to tell me everything, you were always looking to me for advice, and my help. But today, all I've seen is you trying to hide yourself all day. You pretended to be having fun, pretended to talk, pretend, pretend, and pretend. That's all you have done today, is pretend. What did you think? That I wouldn't see through your act, would not see the pain in your eyes, pain that goes so deep, it extends down to your very soul. Somewhere along the way, you have lost yourself. And I want to know why, what's happened?

When she remained quiet, he sighed

-Nidhi, have I become such a stranger that you can't even share your pain with me anymore. Do you hate me so much, that you have pushed me and my friendship out of your heart and your life. Was my crime so huge, that you can't forgive me?

Hearing the pain in his voice, and seeing a reflection of it in his eyes and face, she lost all control, and threw herself into his arms, and started sobbing her heart out, it seemed that all the feelings that she had been keeping so tightly dammed up suddenly broke free, and the floodgates opened up. Her sobbing went on and on, seemingly without end, deep gut and heart wrenching sobs, that cut to his very soul, and shook him inside out with the depth of her despair. He knew that he needed to let her cry herself out. God knows how long she had been holding all this pain in. He knew Nidhi, he knew that she would never let anyone know her pain, she would hide it from the world. He knew that unless you knew her enough to look beneath the surface, you could never see anything but what she wanted you to see. Nidhi was a person who shared her happiness with the world, and her pain and hurt with no one. Not even her father had been able to see beyond what and how much she let him. Nidhi would never hurt anyone, let alone the people she loved. That's why she hid her pain. But somehow he had always been able to sense and see everything that she managed to hide from the world.

So far he had managed to find out that she and Ashutosh had a fight, and it was serious enough, that she had walked out on him. Rohan knew that for Nidhi to walk out on her marriage, something big had to have occurred. But he had not asked anyone what had happened, he wanted Nidhi to tell him herself. He knew, when he was coming back to Lucknow, that things would not be the same, but he had hoped that she would at least still consider him her friend. And from the looks of things, she needed him right now. He did not know what had happened, but he was determined to find out. He had not stood on the Dias on her wedding day, and picked her up for her jaimala ceremony, and sat through her pheras and seeing another man stake his claim on her, with a smile on his face, and all while he had been dying inside seeing her married off to someone else, so that he could come back and find her in this state. He wanted to know what had happened between Nidhi and her husband. And if Dr. Ashutosh was responsible for the state she was in, then he would have to answer to him.

Rohan knew that his love for her was an impossibility, and that it would never come to fruition. He had spent these past months coming to terms with his feelings for her. He had come to the conclusion that being her friend and being part of her life was more important to him then being without her. He knew that he loved her enough for that. All he ever wanted , was her happiness. And, he was damned if he would let anyone get away with doing this to her. To see her reduced to this state was tearing him apart. He waited for her to calm down, and after what seemed like forever, her sobs began to subside. And soon thereafter she was quiet, with just a few leftover hiccups.

-Nidhi, main itna paraya ho gaya hoon kya, ke mujhe apni dosti ke layak bhi nahin samajhti? Meri galati itni badi thi, jo mujhe itni badi sazaa mil rahi hai? Ab main yeh bhi nahin jaan sakta ke mere sab se achchi dost ki zindagi mein kya toofan aya hai, ke woh itni dukhi hai?

-Rohan, in fact it's the opposite. I am so ashamed of the way I treated you, and the way I totally disregarded your feelings and the pain I must caused by my callousness. You are my friend, and always will be. In fact you are probably the best friend I have ever had. I think I have shared more of myself with you than I have with anyone, in some ways even more than with Dr. Ashutosh. I feel very bad for being the cause of your pain. Believe me Rohan, if there was some way I could make it up to you I would. I would give my right arm for a way, or a chance to tear down this wall between us. I wish that I could make your hurt go away.

- There is, but only if you are willing.

-Anything Rohan, I'll do anything you say, if it'll help ease the hurt I gave you. Please tell me what I can do?

- Nidhi, all you have to do, is promise me that you will give our friendship another chance. Over the past few months, I've thought things over, and decided that I'd rather have you in my life as my friend than not at all. I've decided that our friendship means more to me than anything else. Nidhi, like you once told me, 'love just happens'. Its what you do with it that counts. And I've decided that I'd rather love you as my friend, and have you in my life, then spend my life pining for a lover, that I could never have. So, I would really appreciate it if you could look past that, and give me and my friendship another chance, and take me back into your life.

- Rohan, how can I give you back something that has always been yours. I have always considered you my friend, and nothing has or can ever change that. You will always have a very special place in my heart, and in my life, nothing you do can ever change that, Rohan. And I appreciate the "out"card you have given me, and gladly accept it. I am selfish enough to want my friend back, at any cost. So, I'll do what you say, and agree take up where we left off.

Then she got up and gave him a hug, that put all his doubts to rest. He had gotten his friend back, and he was at peace.

-ok, now that that is settled, you have two choices.

First, you tell me what's happened right now? Or,

Second, I go make oodles for the both of us, and then you tell me what's happened?

Either way, you'll have to tell me. So, your choice.

Nidhi laughed. This sounded like her Rohan. She was so glad that she had her friend back in her life. But she still did not want to burden him with her problems.

- OK, since I have been given a choice, I choose noodles first.

Rohan looked at her. He knew she was stalling. But still he nodded and went downstairs to make noodles. Nidhi was so glad that Baba and Dadi Bua had insisted he stay with them, just like the last time. She was so glad that his parents has forgiven her, they were such wonderful people. They had even called her the day of her wedding to give their blessings, she had felt overwhelmed by their generosity.

Rohan was lucky to have such wonderful parents.

She was still debating how she would avoid telling him, when she heard his footsteps on the stairs.

- Here you go, hot delicious noodles, made by yours truly. Now go ahead and eat, and tell me if they are the same or not.

Nidhi made a pretense of eating, and pasted a smile on her face, which she hoped would pass as her enjoying her snack.

- Rohan, they are yummy, just like I remembered. You are still the best noodle chef in the world.

-Nidhi, can't you stop this pretending business, for a little while. At least in front of me. I can see right through you. And no matter how you try, I will not let you go until you tell me exactly what's been happening. So, out with it.

- Actually, Rohan, it's not that big a deal. And you know me, I tend to be a bit immature a times, that's all. I had a fight with Dr. Ashutosh over a silly little thing, and blew it out of all proportion, and got really angry and left home. I thought that he would come after me and he didn't, and now my ego won't let me go back, because I'll have to say sorry first. Bas itni si baat hai. So you see, it's not that big of a deal. It was all my fault in the first place, Dr. Ashutosh had...

Just then a voice from the entrance spoke up

-Don't believe her Rohan, she is lying to you.

It was Anji.

-Nidhi is lying to you Rohan, to protect Jeejaji. No matter what happens, or what he does, she always defends him. If I hadn't been here the whole time, even I probably would not have known. And Baba, and Dadi Bua, and my parents still don't know the whole truth. All they know is that Nidhi and Jeejaji had a fight and she left home.

-Anji, tu kya kar rahi hai. Please be quiet. Rohan has just come back, I don't want his first day back to be ruined by my stupid sob story.

-Nidhi, iska matlab yeh hai, ke tu ab tak Rohan ki dosti ko nahin pehchan payi hai. Agar tune nahin bataya to isko kitna dukh hoga, tujhe andaza hai. Nidhi, he is your friend and loves you just as much as I do, he needs to know. Wait Rohan I'll tell you, because I know that she will not.

Anji started right from the beginning, after their wedding. She told him all about Mallika and everything she had done, all the tricks she had played, and she even told him about Mallika's attempt on Nidhi's life. Then she told him about the whole baby thing, how Dadi Bua had planted the seed in Ashu's mind. Then about Nidhi's return to her profession and then the return of a pregnant Dr. Mallika. She didn't leave even a single incident out. She told Rohan how Mallika's husband had threatened her, and how Nidhi had sent Ashu, to warn Mallika. And then about all of Ashutosh's actions in the name of humanity and friendship. She ended by telling him about the fight and why it happened and that the only reason Nidhi had left home is because she had been left with no other choice. She told Rohan that Dr. Ashutosh himself, in anger, had asked her to leave, and that this was not the first time this had happened. Anji told him about the other three times, specially the time when Mallika had framed Nidhi for trying to cut her throat and how her husband had not even cared that she had left the house in the middle of the night. She told him about all the times he had taken Mallikas side against Nidhi. Throughout her whole dialog Rohan sat still and listened quietly. The only indication of any emotion was his clenched fist and the anger in his eyes. When Anji had finished, there was absolute silence. Rohan glanced towards Nidhi, who was looking at the floor, and swallowing and blinking her eyelids frantically, in order to try and control the tears that were stinging her eyes. He too, was having a hard time in controlling his emotions. He could not believe that Dr. Ashutosh could have behaved like this. All this meant was that he did not deserve to have Nidhi as his wife. Rohan, once again glanced towards Nidhi, and put a hand under her chin to lift her face up, and then wiped her tears with his fingers.

-Nidhi, please don't cry. I promise everything will be alright, soon. I'll make it alright. First thing tomorrow morning, I am going to go and have a talk with Dr. Ashutosh, to give him a piece of my mind. And ask him how he can treat you like this.

Nidhi looked up in alarm, and shook her head vigorously.

- No! No Rohan, you won't do anything of the sort. You will not talk to Dr. Ashutosh. Please, for my sake.

- But why, Nidhi , why. How can you just forgive him again, after all that's happened? Why can't I talk to him? Is he the only one that can be allowed to take care of his friend? Why can't I be allowed to take care of my friend too?

- Rohan, you don't understand, it's not for him. I am concerned for you. Dr. Ashutosh has a terrible temper, and when he gets angry, he has a tendency to say things that he doesn't mean. And I don't want him to say anything that will hurt you. That's why I won't even let Baba or Dadi Bua go to him. Please promise me that you won't say a word.

Looking at her pleading face, Rohan reluctantly agreed and gave his word, and only then did Nidhi relax.

- And you are wrong, I have not forgiven anything. If I had do you think that I would still be here. The problem is not my forgiving, anymore. I guess now it is more of a clash of wills or ego, on both our parts. I think we are at the stage where neither one of us is willing to give an inch. I am just afraid that it might be too late now. And if it is, I don't know what I'll do. Rohan, I am so afraid.

She had been about to say more, when Baba called her from downstairs to tell her that the hospital had called and she needed to call them back. So she excused herself and left Anji and Rohan still sitting there. Both of them had worried looks on their faces.

-Anji what is all this nonsense, and how come she is putting up with it?

I can't believe that this is the same Nidhi I met less than a year ago. Where is her spirit, where is her zest for life, her smile, all of it. She looks so beaten and tired, almost as if she's given up.

- I know what you mean Rohan. Poor girl has had more stress filled days in her marriage, than happy ones. And all because of Mallika, and Jeejaji's blindness for his friendship. If I was a stranger, looking at this situation from the outside, I'd think that Mallika was his wife, instead of Nidhi. I don't know why he is so blind towards Nidhi's feelings and wants. He doesn't see that she's only reacting like any wife would, whose husband was paying more attention to another woman than her. He calls it her immaturity and childishness. Why cant he spot plain and simple jealousy. I wonder how he would react if the situations were reversed. But when it comes to Mallika all his logic and reasoning seems to fly out the window. And poor Nidhi, she always has to pay the price for his misguided friendship. And Mallika, just seems to go on taking advantage of that. I sometimes think that Nidhi would have been better off if she had not married him. But none of us dare not say this in front of her. She refuses to hear a word against him. I don't know what to do to help her Rohan. It breaks my heart to see her suffering like this. And you know the best part, the whole world except her husband, can see her pain. Isn't that an irony.

- Anji, I have an idea. What don't we show him, I mean actually turn the tables on him. Make go through what she went through. You just said na. How would he feel if the tables were turned. So, how about we turn the tables around, and see how he feels, and reacts.

- that's a fabulous idea Rohan, but where would we find a guy who would do this without Nidhi misunderstanding his motives and punching him in the face. I mean there's a patient at the hospital, who was shot and she saved his life, who's crazy about her, but she told him off and put him in his place. You know how straight forward she is, she'll never agree to something like this, ever!

- Anji, main tumhare samne baitha hoon, aur tum keh rahi ho kaun karega yeh sab Nidhi ke liye, whom she trusts. Well who better than me. I am her friend, just like Mallika is his. And Nidhi and I are close, of course without one us being being totally psycho, just like they are too.

And I can get away with a lot. Plus the advantage is I'll know exactly how, when and where to strike, without Nidhi being the slightest bit aware of it. And maybe we can get Dr. Rangnath to help us out, seeing as Armanji is not here right now. What do you say?

Anji was beaming ear to ear.

- Rohan that's brilliant. I for one would love to teach Nidhi's husband a lesson. Bahut suffer karaya hai meri saheli ko unhone. Let's go for it. And I know that Dr. Rangnath would love to be in on this plan.

So when do we start?

-How about tomorrow.? Rohan grinned.