Sorry, everyone, I got stuck in a place without any Internet. I just arrived back home a little,while ago. And had dinner. Now the first thing I am doing is posting a part of my second part. I have more left but it is so late here and I am tired so I don't have the energy to edit the rest tonight. I will finish up tomorrow and post by tomorrow night my time.(USA)
I hope u like this part as much as the first one. And please excuse any editing errors. Am too tired to pay much attention. Just wanted to give you all something. Again my apologies for the delay.
Ashutosh, was greatful that she had at least consented to go back home with him. Although after he had heard what she had to say,he had had serious doubts about her agreeing let alone wanting to return. He knew that he had his work cut out for him, it would take a while to heal her wounds. He still could not get over how much hurt she had carried inside, and for so long, no wonder she was so reluctant about their relationship, and doubted his commitment towards her. Ashu, had also taken her for granted. He had mistakenly associated her youth with immaturity, and had dismissed all her doubts and concerns regarding his relationship with Mallika, as baseless and had accused her of being a jealous wife. His only defense was that he had lived alone so long that he had gotten used to not being answerable to anyone but himself. He had become selfish, unable to consider that after marriage he would have to answer to his wife. He had never thought about Nidhi and her feelings, he had never seen anything beyond the fact that Mallika was his friend, and that he had to be there for her whenever she needed him, just as she had been for him. Mallika had stuck by him through all the ups and downs of his adult life. She had been the one constant in his life that never judged him, on the other hand always supported his every decision. Of course he had known that she was in love with him. But he had also told her in no uncertain terms that he did not love her, and all he could ever offer her was friendship. He had thought that she understood, but he had been wrong. That he would forgive any and all of her tresspasses, was always taken for granted, by the both of them. And she had taken full advantage of that. Time and again he had let her get away with hurting, humiliating, and insulting Nidhi. Ashutosh, knew that he alone was responsible for the fact that Mallika, had tried to Kill Nidhi. She probably had thought, that she could get away with it, because he would never suspect her of doing anything that horrible. And she was right. The only way he had believed it, had been when she had stopped him from eating the poisoned food, and had confessed her crime. He had not believed his wife, or the proofs that put in front of him. How could he blame Nidhi, for not trusting him now, when he had not trusted her in the past. Seeing things through Nidhi's eyes, showed him a picture of himself that he did not like. He wondered how she had managed to continue loving him, inspite of everything.
Well fate had given him another chance to try and put things right. And he was not gong to mess up again. Although he still had no idea how he could excuse Mallika's presence in his life again. He had been instrumental in convincing Mallika to give Jagan another chance for the sake of their son, and she listened to him. But she still relied on him a lot. She was still very hesitant and wary, and still a little scared of her husband, although it looked as though that things were working out between the two of them, but they were still on shaky ground. He did not know how or even if he could cut of his ties with her at this point. Yet to continue with having any ties to her would, he knew, cause irreparable damage between him and Nidhi. Ashu had not known that frienship came with such a high price. Nidhi would never say anything, but he knew that she would withdraw even further away from him and any chance of reconciliation would be lost. There was no other way, he had to talk to Mallika, he would explain the situation and tell her that he could not have anything to do with her again, and she would have to understand. He hoped with all his heart that she would. He knew that he person she was now, would never begrudge him his chance at happiness.
But first things first, He needed to get his wife home, and start working on repairing, and rebuilding the bridges between them. And their child, just the thought of that filled him with wonder and awe, would cement their bond. Ashtosh still could not get over the fact, that his wife, the love of his life, was carrying their baby, a tiny little being created out of their love for each other. Through this miracle, this child, both of them, would be tied together for all eternity.
Ashutosh- ."Thank you Nidhi. I promise that you will never regret this decision."
Nidhi- "Dr. Ashutosh, I don't know exactly what you are expecting, but before you get any ideas or hopes regarding our relationship, please don't. You will be very disappointed. The only relationship possible between the two of us will be as parents, nothing else. And that is the only reason that I am returning to your house. I cannot allow myself to become selfish and deprive my daughter, of her father."
Ashutosh- ".I understand Nidhi. For me its just enough that you are moving back, the rest, we can sort out as we go. So, can I help you pack?"
Nidhi-" Yes, I will need help in packing, but you do not need to bother. I will ask DB. But first, Dr. Ashutosh, I am really tired and I want to rest for a while. Why don't you go ahead and head back. I will come later, Baba will drop me off."
Ashutosh-" Nidhi, I will wait for you. You go ahead and sleep, and in the meanwhile I will get a few of your things together with DB's help and take them over to the house, that way when you wake up, there will not be much left."
Nidhi- "You don't have to do that. But ok, if thats what you want. I am to tired to argue right now. I have worked for almost 20 hours straight, and just want to sleep for a bit."
Ashutosh, didnt want to leave without her, he was afraid that if given a chance Nidhi would back out of going with him, he didnt want to take any chances. So, he left her room and went to the living room, where DB, CV, and BB all were seated having tea, they looked up at his approach. Ashutosh-" Baba Nidhi, has agreed to come back home with me. DB can you pack her things, and I can drop some of her stuff and at the same time leave BB at home, then I will come back to get Nidhi and whatever else is left". The three elders sigh in relief, collectively. they were glad that these two had managed to sort out their differences. DB-" I am veery glad, Ashutosh. I have been really worried about Nidhi, and the baby. Now that you both are together, I can be a peace". Ashu didn't know what to say and what not to say. How could he tell everyone that agreeing to move back with him and both of them together again, were two different things. He just smiled at them, he figured time enough later, and besides they would find out eventually, he couldn't bring himself to wipe the relief from their eyes just yet.
When Nidhi woke up, she surprised to find that the sun had set. She had slept the day away, its just that she had been so tired. Then she remembered, that she had agreed to move back with Ashutosh. She knew that there had been n other choice, sooner or later it had to happen. She was already a little over six months pregnant. Soon the baby would be here. Nidhi, knew that if left up to her she wold not have contacted her husband, just yet. But would have when the baby was born, but it was better this way. She was just so tired of everything. When she had fallen inlove with Ashutosh, she had known that life with him would not be easy. Ashutosh was a complex person, with a lot of facets. He was also the most simple of human beings. His principals and beliefs were very clear cut. She had just never banked on life becoming so hard, though.
Their being together was inevitable, she had known that even when she had made the decision to leave. She had known that for the sake of their child she would have to come back. She had made a lot of adjustments after marriage, she had put everything she had into trying to make her marriage a success, but had failed. This time failure was not an option, their child's life and future were at stake. She had failed as a wife, whether that was her fault or not, she couldn't say. All she knew was that now she was a mother, the fact that her child had yet to come into this world, did not matter to her. She knew that her daughter was with her, she felt her presence with in her soul. Every time her daughter moved, every time she kicked, she felt her presence. The day, She had found out that she was pregnant, was the day she had become a mother. And as a mother, it was her duty to give her daughter the best life she could, and she knew that that life included her father. Ashutosh, would be a wonderful father. She knew he had wanted a baby desperately , he had made no secret about that fact. The fact that she had not been ready at that time, had crushed him. So, when Mallika came back, and pregnant this time, Nidhi, supposed that it had been inevitable, considering the strong bond of friendship they had shared, that Ashutosh had been drawn back to her. What hurt her the most was that their bond had not been strong enough, and Inspite of her wish to keep Mallika out of their lives, Ashutosh had, gone out of his way to help her. And now it seemed that she was back in his life, and good graces. he had forgiven her. The funny thing was that the person Mallika had tried to kill, was not even asked whether, it was alright with her, that Mallika should be forgiven, it had been taken for granted that she would go along with them, and be ok with it. It was just one other way which brought home to her, that Mallika had been, was and would always have priority over her. And what bothered her was the fact this still had the power to hurt her. But she would and could not ever afford to let that fact show. While she could, and had put up with it in the past, even at great personal cost, she would not put up with it now. Her baby came first. And if she saw anything to the contrary, she would remove both of them, this time permanently from his life. She would make that clear to him.
Nidhi, knew that he would be waiting for her, when she came out of her room. She took her time getting ready, then like a soldier heading into battle, took a deep breath for courage and went out.
Just as she had predicted, Ashutosh, was sitting right there, talking to her father and DB. They must have been talking about something important, because all had serious expressions on their face. As she drew closer, she heard DB say-"Doctor Mallika ko apni aur Nidhi se jitni door rakkhoge, utna tumhara liye Achcha rahega. Woh aurat tumhara liye zeher hai. AB ke bar toh kisi tarha Nidhi maan gayi, par yeh mauka tumhe dobara nahin milega.". Ashutosh-"DB, aap Jo keh rahin hain woh apni jagah theek hai, par ab Mallika Badal gayi hai, woh...". He had been about to say more, but DB had seen her coming and put her hand on his arm and gestured towards Nidhi. And all three stopped talking and pasted smiles on their faces.
Nidhi-" All of you don't need to stop talking, I can leave. But just for the record, what you are trying to hide from me, I already know". DB-"what do you know"? NIdhi-"DB, I know that Dr. Mallika is back in Dr. Ashutosh's life. But what none of you know, is that you don't need to hide it from Meir worry about how I will react or feel about that. It doesn't make a difference to me any more. Dr. Ashutosh can do what ever he wants and he can see whom ever he wants. The baby is the only reason I am going back, nothing else. I can't be his wife any more. Our relationship is in name only, there is nothing left between us except this child. So whatever relations they have or don't are of no concern to me any longer. And since we are on this topic, let me make one thing clear to Dr. Ashutosh in front of my family, so that there are no misunderstandings later. While Dr. Mallika and her son might be part of your life, I will not tolerate them being a part of my daughter's, or mine. If you ever let her come near my baby, Dr. Ashutosh, or try to establish any sort of relations between the them, I will take my daughter and disappear out of your life so fast, you won't know what hit you, and I can guarantee that you will not see either of us ever again.".
Everyone, was stunned at the vehemence in her face and voice, they didn't know what to say. And once again, it was driven home to Ashutosh, the extent and depth of Nidhi's pain, and feelings of betrayal. He didnt say anything, just kept quiet. At this point the most important thing was to get her back to their home, where she belonged. The rest, well that would come in time too. For now he would just take one day at a time. Dinner was a silent affair. The only time anybody spoke was when DB was trying to get Nidhi to eat. Ashutosh, looked at Nidhi, she looked very tired and very sad, that broke his heart. And he had noticed that she was rather small for being a bit over six months pregnant. It looked like she was not gaining the proper amount of weight. How he wished, that he could tell her to eat properly, and that it was just as important that she take care of herself, as well as the child inside of her. But he had lost that right when he had forgiven , and allowed Mallika back into his life, against Nidhi's expressed wishes. He had no one to blame but himself.
Nidhi, had wanted to drive herself, to the house, so that she would have her car with her.(she had bought herself a car, at some point during the past five months) but, she still looked so tired that, CV would not allow it. And he had assured her that she would have her car in time for work, by tomorrow afternoon. That was when Ashutosh found out that Nidhi was on call tomorrow night. But of course, he could not do anything, as he had no say in the matter. There was silence, in the car, during the drive back to Dr. Ashutosh's house. Both do them were lost in their own thoughts, that neither of them was willing to share.
Against her will, she was somewhat excited at the prospect of being back in her house. She had missed it. And if she were honest with her self, she was excited that she would be living in the same house with Ashutosh again. Just being near him, being able to see him, hear his voice everyday would be enough for her. She would not need to hide out in a parking lot, just to catch a glimpse of him. She missed him, missed being with him, missed being held in his arms. But what could she do? Fate had dealt the cards, she had no other choice then to play.
When they got to the house, BB came out to greet them. Nidhi bent to touch his feet, but he stopped her. When he pulled her into his arms for a hug, Nidhi just stood there passively, neither reciprocating, nor resisting. She could see that, BB was hurt by this off hand behavior. But there was nothing she could do. She still had not gotten over how Baba, had taken Mallika's side. He had treated her with the same callousness that Ashu had done. So, in a quiet voice she thanked BB for welcoming her back home.
Once, inside she looked around. Ashutosh came and stood next to her
Ashu-"See, Nidhi, everything is exactly the way it was when you left. Kuch bhi change nahin hua. We have all been been waiting for you to come back home". Nidhi-"nahin Dr.Ashutosh, things have changed"
Ashutosh, was puzzled , he looked around, and could not understand what she was refering to, then his saw. he silently cursed himself for not seeing and removing it before her arrival. It was a photograph of him holding Mallika's son. He moved to pick it up. Nidhi-"please don't bother on my account. It doesn't matter to me. What good will removing it do. Does it change the fact that it was here, or does it change the fact the this picture, this picture replaced the picture taken of the two of us on our honeymoon. App kitni cheezon ko replace karoge, Dr. Ashutosh. Aur Kya kya remove karoge. Facts are facts, it matter how much we want it they remain the same. So leave it there. Waise bhi, it's your house. It's your prerogative to decide what stays where, and what gets removed or replaced..". Then she walked away and went to the kitchen, to say hello to HM. Ashu, had completely .forgotten that their honeymoon picture used to be here. He had taken it to his room , and put it on the table next to his pillow. He looked at it every night, and remembered how happy they had been. Now, though, he could not even offer her any explanation. She. Would not listen. In her eyes her picture had been replaced. This was all such a mess. All the confidence that he had had, that their love would in the end prove stronger, and that he would be able to win Nidhi's trust, was slowly being replaced with the fear that, he would not ever be able to get his Nidhi back. He had lost her along the way somewhere, there amidst the sea of misunderstandings and anger, and hurts. And he did not know how or even where to begin, to find her and bring her back.
Nidhi, asked him where he had put her things. Ashutosh-"nidhi, your things would be your room of course, where else.". Nidhi-" Dr. Ashutosh, I specifically asked you for a separate room, that was one of the terms of my coming back.". Ashu-"calm down Nidhi. I remember the terms. This is your room, I have already moved my things to the guest bedroom. I wanted you to have the bigger room becauseit will be more comfortable for you and you will need the extra space for the baby." Nidhi1" but I don't want to put you out of your room, the guest bedroom will be more than enough for me.". Ashutosh-"no Nidhi, it's already done. You will need space to keep the baby's things, anyway, so this is the ideal solution.". Nidhi, was quiet for a moment, than she said -"Thank you. And now I will turn in for the night. I still have to unpack my things, and then, I will go to sleep. So, good night". Ashutosh-" but Nidhi, it's barely 9:00pm. You are going to sleep already.". Nidhi-"yes, I need to sleep, because I have to be at work, by 10:00 tomorrow morning, and I am also on Night duty tomorrow night, so I need to get lots of sleep. And now a days I am sleepy all the time. I am told that pregnancy can do that to certain women, apparently I am one of them. Baba, told me that my mother uses to be tired a lot too, when she was expecting me, so I guess, my daughter, also takes after her mom.". Ashu looked at Nidhi, for a minute it seemed that she had forgotten everything while talking about the baby and her (nidhis)mother. She had a beautiful tender smile on her face, and a look of pure contentment and happiness on her face, as she gently stroked her stomach, as if she was actually stroking the baby. She seemed to have forgotten his presence, and was lost in her own world. Just then something clicked, the whole day, he had not paid attention, even though she had said it multiple times. She was always referring to their baby, as daughter and little girl. He hated to disturb her, but couldn't help himself, "Nidhi, all day you have been referring to the baby, as she and my daughter. Are you saying that because you want our baby to be a girl, or...". Nidh, hearing the excitement in his tone, smiled. And she knew in that instant, that had she even had a passing thought about keeping him at a distance from the baby, for the duration of her pregnancy, just looking at his face, right now, she would never be able to do that. And, no matter how much she tried she could never be that cruel to him. Wasn't this what she had wanted to see, five months ago, that look on his face, the excitement of impending parenthood, the love when he thought about his child. All of this, was reflected on his face, right now. No she could never do that to him. She would give him his child in another 3months, but now she could let him at least experience it.
Nidhi-" We are going to have a daughter, Ashutosh. A beautiful tiny little girl. I had a sonography last month, and the images now a days are so clear, that I had no trouble seeing that the baby was a girl. So...congratulations, you are going to be getting your wish.". Ashu, looked at her, his face held such happiness, that she didn't ever remember that she had ever seen him like this before. And what moved her beyond measure was the fact that, he had tears running down his face, tears of unabashed Joy. Before she knew it, her hands had moved, as if they had a will of their own, and before she knew what was happening, she was wiping the tears from his cheeks. Ashu stood still as a statue, and when she realized what she had been doing, she quickly withdrew her hands, and with a quick good night hurried to her room.
Her heart was pounding so, loudly, she was surprised, that it had not jumped out of her throat. She could not believe what she had done. It had been a totally unconscious gesture. It was just a force of habit, she thought, as she try to justify herself. But in her heart of hearts, she knew it was not true. She still loved him as much as ever. She thought that she had changed and that even though she
Still loved him, she had grown apart from him. Barely a couple of hours later, all curtains had been lifted. Nothing had changed, everything was the same. She still loved him like crazy. And he still had the power to hurt her just like before. Only this time she was afraid the she would not survive it, unlike the last time, when she had simple walked out of his life. She knew that she would not be able to leave him again. And neither would she be able to bear the pain of his constant indifference With regards to her feelings. She could never let him see this though. She only way she could survive was to keep her distance and to keep him at a distance. She would never give Ashutosh that kind of power over her again, NEVER. She would Never let him hurt her like that again.
Nidhi, knew she had to do something, before these thoughts drove her mad. So she decided that she would start putting some of her things away. But before that she was feeling thirsty, so she went to drink some water from the jug and glass HM kaka, had thoughtfully put for her on her bedside. As she bent to pick up the jug she noticed a book that was young opened on the small bedside table. It was probably something Dr. Ashutosh had been reading. So she thought she had better go and give it too him, before he turned in for the night. When she picked it up, a piece of paper fell out from the pages, she picked it up and saw that it was not a piece of paper, but a picture. On the back was written," to ashutosh, Thankyou for being my friend. And thank you for forgiving me. And most of all thank you for always being there when I need you the most. You friend Mallika", and on the front , Nidhi saw that it was a picture of Mallika, holding her Baby.
That, was enough to burst her bubble, she came crashing down with a thud. This picture was an eye opener. No, definitely, not, and Never again.
She opened the door and went outside to find Ashutosh. he was sitting on the sofa, just staring up at the ceiling. He had not even changed his clothes. She went up to him "I think you forgot something while you were clearing the room for me. I thought that you might, need it so I though came to give it to you.". Ashu, looked up at her, and frowned over the coldness that had crept into her tone. Abi abhi toh she had been fine, and when she had wiped his tears, she had looked at him with so much love, it was like having his old Nidhi back, his wife who had loved him so much, that she had tried to make each and every day of their lives special for him. And now his wife had disappeared, and in her place stood the Nidhi, who he had met this morning , whose tone held nothing but angerand hurt and accusations, but no love. What happened? Then he saw his book and remembered that it held the photograph Mallika had given him, of her and her son, after he had forgiven her. And he had absent mindedly put it in one of his nooks and forgotten about, until how. He had always intended to tear it up and throw it away. Any way too late now. He was back to square one.
