Flying without wings!

Domestic abuse is an incredibly serious issue...but they are making a mockery of it on this show...

This OS is not meant to be taken seriously at any cost...so here goes

Mallika somehow manages to reach the JFK airport..she is now all set to board a flight that will take her straight to Lucknow ( please bear with me...I can't do multiple immigration scenes, stopovers etc...)

She somehow manages to check in...now she is at the immigration queue...Jack and Rose are an American couple who are standing behind her in the queue...

They keep hearing Mallika muttering the name Ashutosh...unfortunately, for them and us, all they can get is the Ash part...

Rose looks at Jack with fear...

Jack- What's the matter, honey?

Rose ' Did you hear what that lady keeps saying?

Jack tries hard to listen.

He looks at Rose in confusion.

Jack 'Not very clearly...but it sounds like...

Before he can finish, Rose blurts out,

Rose ' Ash..

Jack looks a little scared.

Rose ' She is, Jack...she keeps saying ash...I think she is saying we are all going to be turned to ashes..

Jack 's face whitens..

Jack - You think so?

Rose ' For sure...she is predicting doomsday...

Jack ' Oh my God..

Rose starts crying...

Rose ' It is the combination of our names...it spells disaster...it drowned the Titanic...and now this woman says our flight will be burnt to ashes...

Jack ' Rose, what is all this nonsense...?!

Rose ' It makes perfect sense, Jack...my grandma warned me...she said we were like a ticking time-bomb...

Jack ' Rose, what are you saying..

Rose ' She told me never to go on a journey with you!

Jack ' But Rose, we are going on our honeymoon...how can we not go together?

Rose ' We can't...my Tarot card reader said the same thing this morning...that my love would be put to the test of fire...

Jack starts looking alarmed...

Jack ' Why didn't you tell me before?

Rose ' I forgot...thanks to this good lady, I just remembered...let's get outta here...we'll go hiking to the mountains instead..

They look at Mallika gratefully and rush away...

Mallika is oblivious to all this and continues with her Ashutosh chant..

She reaches the counter..

Immigration Officer ' Passport please...

She hands it over looking like a zombie...

The immigration officer scans the passport and then makes the mistake of looking up at her face...he is scared out of his wits...

Immigration Officer ' Holy Mother of God, what am I seeing?

His colleague joins him...

Officer 2 ' Looks crazy, doesn't she?

Officer 1- Dunno...but my daily horoscope indicated that I would be spooked out today..

He makes the sign of the cross and clutches the talisman around his neck..

Officer 1 speaks warily to Mallika

Officer 1- Lady...are you okay?

Mallika ' Ashutosh..

Officer 1 ' What?

Mallika ' Ashutosh...

Officer 1 starts feeling jittery about that...

Officer- Lady, do you speak English...do you need an interpreter?

Mallika ' Ashutosh..

Officer 1 ' Am sorry I don't understand the language that you speak..

Mallika ' Ashutosh...

Officer 1 looks at his colleague..

Officer 1- She is repeating the same thing again and again..

Officer ' You think she is casting some kind of spell?

Officer 1 is totally spooked now..

He calls up his boss...

Officer 1 ' Sir, there is a spooky looking lady here...she is repeating what sounds like a spell...what if it is to blow up the airport or something?

Boss- What does she look like? Is she wearing a veil...you know what I mean right?

Officer ' No Sir...she is not...but she looks real scary..

Boss ' Just repeat the following names after me and see if she reacts..

Al Qaeda

Taliban

Lashkar 'E-Toiba

Jaish-E-Mohammed

The officer repeats all the names but Mallika continues with her Ashutosh chant..

Officer 1 ' Sir, she keeps repeating something else...could be a name...!

Boss- Osama?

Officer 1- No Sir...something that starts with Ash..

Boss- Oh my God..she sounds dangerous...any intelligence on Ash yet?

Officer 1 ' None yet Sir..

Boss- We can't take chances...have her taken into custody immediately..

Officer 1 now asks the guards to overpower her...

As they approach her, Mallika starts running..

Mallika ' Ashutosh mujhe bachao...yeh log mujhe maardalenge...Ashutsoh, tum hi mere dawa ho..tum meri ho...Ashutosh..

Back in India, Ashutosh gets up with a start from his sleep ...he feels the strange pull of a voice...but Nidhi tells him he is hearing voices in his old age and orders him back to sleep...

Back at the airport, the guards chase after Mallika...she is trying to elude them...the other passengers are terrified and there is absolute bedlam...

Mallika manages to get out of the airport...just as the guards get close to her, a broom materializes from thin air...Mallika jumps on to it and screams

Mallika- Ashutosh, main aa rahi hoon!

All watch transfixed as Mallika flies away..

This is the story of how Mallika came to India.

P.S- the American newspapers carry stories of the bedlam at JFK the next day...along with that, there is a piece on a UFO being spotted in the American skies...it was reportedly travelling in the direction of India, Lucknow to be specific!

Have gone beyond just the show and tried to spoof a few things like the paranoia the Americans have...hope all of this will be taken in the right spirit!

Sujatha, i have never laughed so much before joining this forum but today yours takes the cake!! when the speculation started as to Mallika is faking it or not, my first thought was if she IS faking it, why did they have to take up the domestic abuse issue! But later on after seeing the other kind of domestic abuse (psychological) being dished out to Nidhi by her darling husband, i realized there is no pt in rising this with KPji...

Thanks Suja...the faking part is yet to be confirmed...but I don't think she is..I mean I don't know if she is faking on the domestic abuse bit...but I don't think she is faking of the crazy part...I mean how different are the things that she is doing now as compared to what she did when she was sane...even then she was doing her best to keep Ashutosh away from Nidhi...nothing new there...maybe this touchy-feely part is new...but then, I guess her condition and Ashu's sympathy have emboldened her to take her game one level or many levels higher...so, she is not faking being sick...she was and is unhinged when it came to the Ashutosh-Nidhi relationship!

What irks me is the way they have treated the domestic abuse part so lightly...does Ashutosh think hugging Mallu and plaiting her is good enough...I mean nobody, and I repeat nobody, has bothered to explore the legal angle to it...no complaints filed...no attempts to bring Jagan to book...not even mention of the need to make an effort...and these are highly educated people that we are talking about...that really rankles...it is like the perpetrators of domestic abuse can just get away scotfree...please excuse me for saying this but it almost makes me feel if husbands with a penchant to abuse will, if they watch KTLK, go ahead and do a background check on their wives first to see if there is an Ashutosh lurking somewhere...if so, they will go ahead with the abuse since their wives will go running to their besties for TLC...and they can get away scotfree themselves..! Sad that a show whose writer is known for his 'maturity' is has crater-sized holes when it comes to logic and life-like portrayal!

Surprised to see the negligible response to what I thought was a huge blunder on the show...either my brand of humour does not appeal...or maybe there is something here, which I am unable to sense, that is causing people not to respond...please feel free to tell me if there is something offensive or if I have trodden on anyone's toes...! Or is this skewed and unrealistic depiction of handling abuse the least of the issues with the show? I