To the parents in the forum

Do you think beating and or scolding is a good way to discipline kids. This is in reference to the episode today. I have heard the statement many time about being disciplined by beating.

I personally have faced abuse at hands of my father and I personally think beating is not only useless but it slowly but surely chips the parent child relationship. I mean your kid shouldn't be scared of you, you should be their safe space in this dark world. This also breaks parent child trust.

Also its not like the child will remember why they are being slapped only that you, their parent slapped them, the one they trusted. its probably why so many kids are scared of their parents well into adulthood. It creates childhood trauma that takes years to deal with.

many people say that they were beaten and they turned out fine. but did they if they think beating children is okay.

I have very little experience with kids , only my neice who i babysit when sister is out of town. I haven't ever scolded her even. I don't think it teaches anything.

So i want opinions on what you think is right. Is beating your kid ever okay? Scolding is milder but it can also cause negative effects but idk what do you think.

I don’t agree with beating children , I don’t beat my children , corrects them with respect

Another imp point I do , I don’t scold them in public places or in front of others when I feel they need to be reprimanded , I talk or scold them ( rarely) in private .

I respect my children , want to make independent , confident and self sufficient human beings .

I am the only one doing this because mine is nuclear family not joint family , since hus is a busy man it is mostly on me ,

Umm.... I am the wrong person to ask 😆 I don't have kids, I am not even married😆 And .... I simply don't have any suggestions to put forward here. It all depends on the circumstances, the gravity of the mistake/mischief the child committed & also the parents' approach towards it. While I think it's not good beating a child for small mistakes, I believe they do need to be punished when they do some serious blunder. Loving speech doesn't always solve the problem or sometimes they are just not enough to make the kid understand that what he/she did was very wrong & they shouldn't be doing it. If there's no fear of repercussion, there is a chance that they wouldn't take you seriously. Too much indulgence & letting off the hook can turn the kids into spoilt brats too. They might get the idea...kya hi karenge...bas 2-4 baatein bolke chodh denge....so it's okay to do the stuffs that was forbidden. So I feel there should be a balance of both, depending on their response & the seriousness of the crime. This is strictly my opinion though.

Personally speaking, I have got beaten up by both my Mom & my Didi n no. of times in childhood😆 But that hasn't made me anyway distant from them. After I reached a certain age, I developed my own sense of right & wrong & I didn't do much mischief....but before that it was the fear of Mummy or Didi beating me up that kept me from messing around.😆

I guess. I mean there are other ways to punish kids than beating to stop them from messing around. My sister punishes her kid not letting her watch anything for a day. And other similar punishments like the silent treatment which I think can be worse..makes me feel so guilty😒

Originally posted by: Rosh4rose

I don’t agree with beating children , I don’t beat my children , corrects them with respect

Another imp point I do , I don’t scold them in public places or in front of others when I feel they need to be reprimanded , I talk or scold them ( rarely) in private .

I respect my children , want to make independent , confident and self sufficient human beings .

I am the only one doing this because mine is nuclear family not joint family , since hus is a busy man it is mostly on me ,

Yeah I think I agree with you. I'd stay as far away from any kind of violence as possible. Public scoldings can also be humiliating.

Originally posted by: Doodle12

Do you think beating and or scolding is a good way to discipline kids. This is in reference to the episode today. I have heard the statement many time about being disciplined by beating.

I personally have faced abuse at hands of my father and I personally think beating is not only useless but it slowly but surely chips the parent child relationship. I mean your kid shouldn't be scared of you, you should be their safe space in this dark world. This also breaks parent child trust.

Also its not like the child will remember why they are being slapped only that you, their parent slapped them, the one they trusted. its probably why so many kids are scared of their parents well into adulthood. It creates childhood trauma that takes years to deal with.

many people say that they were beaten and they turned out fine. but did they if they think beating children is okay.

I have very little experience with kids , only my neice who i babysit when sister is out of town. I haven't ever scolded her even. I don't think it teaches anything.

So i want opinions on what you think is right. Is beating your kid ever okay? Scolding is milder but it can also cause negative effects but idk what do you think.

I am a parent.

I personally think it's unfair to raise your hand at someone who can't hit you back. So absolutely no hitting from me, no matter how crazy their behavior is. There are times when I am absolutely at my wits end..(trust me, there are days like that😒).. and I end up yelling. But one loud word is enough with the little ones immediately reprimanding me that I am yelling. So I end up apologizing and explaining how them not doing XYZ, really upset me, that resulted in my own bad behavior of yelling. So if they behave well, it helps me to behave well also. So let's help each other? This little dialog always works with my kids.

Long-term memory begins around 2-2.5 years, and I wouldn't want some random childhood memory of my child to be of me hitting or slapping them. It's one of my fears. No way would I let that happen.

I understand that I am a new-age parent, whereas older generations used to believe in the adage "Spare the rod and spoil the child".

Slapping is absolutely no-no for me. Somehow, it is very demeaning to the other person.

What Ishwari said today was very indicative of that generation. A lot of people in that generation believed in physical punishments. Sadly, there is also the belief that they knew how to raise a child and the current generation doesn't.

What people don't realize is that there is no guidebook to how to raise a child. Parents learn everyday how to be parents from their children. It's a learning experience that doesn't ever end.

Originally posted by: Rosh4rose

I don’t agree with beating children , I don’t beat my children , corrects them with respect

Another imp point I do , I don’t scold them in public places or in front of others when I feel they need to be reprimanded , I talk or scold them ( rarely) in private .

I respect my children , want to make independent , confident and self sufficient human beings .

I am the only one doing this because mine is nuclear family not joint family , since hus is a busy man it is mostly on me ,

I agree. I never ever scolded or reprimand my children in public. We come back home and talk about it.

Originally posted by: Doodle12

I guess. I mean there are other ways to punish kids than beating to stop them from messing around. My sister punishes her kid not letting her watch anything for a day. And other similar punishments like the silent treatment which I think can be worse..makes me feel so guilty😒

I told you I am the wrong person to ask😆 I was just stating my opinion which formed based on how I grew up.😆

I think you wouldn't believe it if I tell you, but I have got beaten up for something as simple as getting a sum wrong 😆

You see, during my childhood, my father was mostly absent because his work place was very far from our house. He used to rent a a room near his workplace & stay there for whole week, used to come home at Saturday afternoon & then went away again on Monday morning. So my Mom was managing the household, doing her job (she is a school teacher) & raising 2 children mostly alone. So....she used to be pretty irked most of the time. What happened is, after returning from school, she got me & my Didi to study while simultaneously she had to cook our dinner. Add with that, I got a simple sum wrong & she got very irritated & slapped me saying how stupid can I be that I can't do even this simple sum!

At that time I was on just 1st or 2nd standard....so naturally I felt very bad back then. I remember this till date....so you can understand how horrible it must have felt. But I don't resent my Mom for that. She had too much to handle & at the end of the day she is also human....she also has tolerance limit.😔

Things changed when my father took transfer & could stay at home full time. For the first few years he was my hero since he used to save me from Mum's beating😆 But slowly I grew up & realised my Mom wasn't bad either. She was just too tired & too troubled to behave like a model parent. So it's all okay now.

Yeah.... beating your kid probably is not a good idea unless he/she did something really really awful.

Originally posted by: Newbiewriter30

I am a parent.

I personally think it's unfair to raise your hand at someone who can't hit you back. So absolutely no hitting from me, no matter how crazy their behavior is. There are times when I am absolutely at my wits end..(trust me, there are days like that😒).. and I end up yelling. But one loud word is enough with the little ones immediately reprimanding me that I am yelling. So I end up apologizing and explaining how them not doing XYZ, really upset me, that resulted in my own bad behavior of yelling. So if they behave well, it helps me to behave well also. So let's help each other? This little dialog always works with my kids.

Long-term memory begins around 2-2.5 years, and I wouldn't want some random childhood memory of my child to be of me hitting or slapping them. It's one of my fears. No way would I let that happen.

I understand that I am a new-age parent, whereas older generations used to believe in the adage "Spare the rod and spoil the child".

Slapping is absolutely no-no for me. Somehow, it is very demeaning to the other person.

What Ishwari said today was very indicative of that generation. A lot of people in that generation believed in physical punishments. Sadly, there is also the belief that they knew how to raise a child and the current generation doesn't.

What people don't realize is that there is no guidebook to how to raise a child. Parents learn everyday how to be parents from their children. It's a learning experience that doesn't ever end.

highlighted one

That sounds so reasonable. sometimes things get out of hand but apologizing to them might also be a great lesson for them. That apologizing isn't something to be shy about.

highlighted 2: Ik. I have a cat and the thing with cats is even if you hit them once they will forever remember it. She was hit by her old owner and to this day she flinches even if i raise my hand to pet her. If a simple pet can have such repressed memory I don't how much more a child can.

So many kids don't run to their parents in crisis but go to freinds first, friends that might even lead them to wrong paths.

I also read in a medical journal how a childhood of even mild violence can have consequences later in life like having bad coping mechanisms, too many fights in relationships, disrespect to their own kid etc

Originally posted by: Newbiewriter30

I am a parent.

I personally think it's unfair to raise your hand at someone who can't hit you back. So absolutely no hitting from me, no matter how crazy their behavior is. There are times when I am absolutely at my wits end..(trust me, there are days like that😒).. and I end up yelling. But one loud word is enough with the little ones immediately reprimanding me that I am yelling. So I end up apologizing and explaining how them not doing XYZ, really upset me, that resulted in my own bad behavior of yelling. So if they behave well, it helps me to behave well also. So let's help each other? This little dialog always works with my kids.

Long-term memory begins around 2-2.5 years, and I wouldn't want some random childhood memory of my child to be of me hitting or slapping them. It's one of my fears. No way would I let that happen.

I understand that I am a new-age parent, whereas older generations used to believe in the adage "Spare the rod and spoil the child".

Slapping is absolutely no-no for me. Somehow, it is very demeaning to the other person.

What Ishwari said today was very indicative of that generation. A lot of people in that generation believed in physical punishments. Sadly, there is also the belief that they knew how to raise a child and the current generation doesn't.

What people don't realize is that there is no guidebook to how to raise a child. Parents learn everyday how to be parents from their children. It's a learning experience that doesn't ever end.

I do the same. 🤗 I have seen my elders slapping their child (at the back) and that time itself I pledged that if I’ll ever be mom, I’m never gonna hit her/him, even at the back. Till now I’m able to manage without hitting my 4 years LO though I shout at times and immediately say sorry after that. 🤞🏻