Originally posted by: grace4317
Shaavi...Of all what you have written, the above lines are highly relevant. And going by the response of twitteraties, a large number of them have started arguing why a role reversal can't be accepted by the society, whereas in reality what we need is balancing between both the partners. And as Latha has pointed in deepsel's post, that is the problem with our makers. Whatever they show, they know how to show the extremes only, whether it be Ishwari's insecurities or the infertility track or the slapgate track or making Sona/Boses insensitive. And when you start feeling that these all are because, the makers who have a special soft corner for the lead actor write the tracks inorder to show his acting prowess, in the name of showing various shades of Dev, then slowly you will loose the interest in the show. And I think that is what has happened with me.
Anyhow, I am happy that I am now out of the KRPKAB craze which otherwise was eating my head and made me waste more than half of a day, spending time thinking of it or roaming in the forum. Now, I have started watching 2 serials - one starting with the letter N in starplus & one in zeetv which is the hindi version of beauty & the beast. In both the shows, the female leads are shown to be headstrong and consider themselves equal with the male lead; but not at the cost of making them insensitive. Whenever they are alone and they feel like crying or pour out their emotions it is shown through monologues, which is something where the Patnaiks failed to show in KRPKAB and made a lot of people leave the show & still is creating a lot of upheavals from the Dev supporters. I know, there is no use in crying over spilled milk. Hope they do something on this part atleast in this season. 😊
Grace, I hear you. And your post gives me hope. 😃 . In India in general when parents starts giving upbringing to their children, the dictates of society is in built in the kids. What I mean is when a girl child starts growing up, the parents start commenting about how she needs to learn household chores, needs to learn tolerance, adjustments, compromises, understanding etc and let them know that they have to leave the home they grew up in saying after marriage, you have to go to your husbands house and make that your home. Similarly for a boy, the constant push is to be aggressive towards studies, so that they can earn more money, the idea of being a provider, taking care of family, protector, supporting the parents later on in their life are all the things that is being told.
From the beginning, Dev is the one who displays more feminine traits like being gentle, kind, caring, sensitive, understanding, less egoistic all of which is what is expected of a girl. Similarly Sonakshi displays characters that are expected from a boy like lot of ego, less sensitive, impulsive, aggressive, assumption that they are always right etc. When Ishwari acted the way she did after the first break up or during the initial marriage phase of Dev and Sonakshi, even the average viewer disliked what Ishwari did. There were many members of the forum who came forward and shared their stories of how they were hurt in the initial days of their married life. And how with time, things got better. Similarly when Bijoy was the way he was post leap, even the people who had previously praised him as the best father went on to say that no one should have a father like that. It is similar with Soha too. When she was introduces, she was shown to be someone who was attached to Sonakshi. But later on the same members commented on how she easily forgot her mom or her grandparents who had taken care of her for the last 7 years. How she easily decided to stay back with Dev or said that Ishwari was the best.
What I am saying is each of the characters actions have been questioned and deconstructed to a large extent. Now even though Ishwari is not happy with Dev and Sonakshi decision or even when she is showing her displeasure, no one is really saying that she is wrong. They are saying that she is right in her own way. A lot of people who used to find no fault in Sonakshi have now started to question her. Most people are not telling that fathers should be like Bijoy. But everyone is now happy saying every husband, father should be like Dev. When Dev initially broke up with Sonakshi or during the initial marriage phase, he was the one constantly criticized that he is very wrong. That he worships his mother blindly and that he should stop doing that. Now no one is really against Dev, but a lot of them are against Sonakshi and what she is doing. But I see all of these characters are being what they have always been.
One of the things that is even a bias with the legal system is the mothers need for a child. Even the courts award custody of the children to mom's saying, they are the best caregivers. With the role reversal, Sonakshi might not realize it now, but she is on the path to becoming dispensable for her children. What the makers are showing is where once mothers are considered as non replaceable in a child's life, it is not true. What happens when Sonakshi loses what is considered as natural. Usually the bond between mother and child is considered as the strongest, even strong enough to break so many other things. For ex, a wife may take abuse for herself, but when that is projected towards her child, she will find courage to leave that environment. She may protect her husband even when he was doing very wrong things, but if she sees it affecting her child, she will immediately start working towards removing that influence. It is said that a mother lifts a car off of her child, if she feels that her child is in danger. I saw this documentary once where they said that a mama bear who usually leaves the place in the presence of a male bear, will not hesitate to fight the same if she feels that her baby is threatened.
Now Dev is the one who is being the mom to his kids. When she finishes her project and comes back, she will find herself "redundant" in her children's lives. That she is secondary to them. The members who are saying that this role reversal was the right thing will wonder if they really want to lose the place they have in the lives of their kids. Are females really ok with being "nonessential" in their children's lives. What we(women) have taken for granted, similar to what men have taken for granted is the one that is being shown. And as you and Latha said, yes it is extreme. But in this serial, the extremes are shown before the balance is achieved. Post leap, everytime it is Sonakshi who is shown to make the effort and not Dev. What I mean is during Khatri track, no matter how unwilling she was, she had to search for him and bring him back. Same with the Dev remarriage track too. Even till the last minute, she was expecting Dev to be the one to stop the wedding or propose to her or cajole her. But in the end Sonakshi had to give up her pretense and bring back Dev.
She had once said that she wants to slay her own dragons. Something that is considered as a task that the "princes" usually perform. Post leap, every step of the way, she had to step into the shoes of men and do things that are usually not considered as something that is done by women. Women don't go an propose to guys on one knee. And that is why this track is interesting for me. She who has always had problems compromising, is learning how important compromising actually is. She will win that best project award and come home to find that she has lost her "best mom award". That she has been in a way replaced by Dev. That her kids no longer "wait" for her or even kind of acknowledge her. Then what. And I am very sure that she will show shades of Ishwari as she did during the initial marriage phase. And that is my hope with the makers.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
