Posted:
A page in the book of Dev Confused Dixit .
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I know I've been wrong , wrong in the way I dealt with our marriage, wrong in the way I dealt with my problems and our problems . I've been wrong .
I've become someone I can't relate to . I'm not The Dev Dixit - I'm Dev . Someone who is terribly flawed, in the way I think and in my defense mechanisms.
Yes , over the years I've tried moving on , but there is no place for me other than in your arms . Sona , I know it's hardly evident in all those fights we have that we may have actually loved each other at some point in time .
And maybe The Dev Dixit is still stuck there . Transfixed at a point from where he does not know how to walk . I've always wanted a child , our child.
When I look at Soha I see an abundance of what I seek - Love . She is our love , she is and will always be mine , ours though you may not Sona .
When I see you with Jatin , I see all that I could have been to you but could not. I see my failures as a husband and it kills me because he is better than me . He is someone you stand up for , assert a right on , he is everything I used to be .
I'm still my mom's son Sona , and I cannot change how I've been brought up , I cannot change the past and neither can I construct a promising future for the both of us . But all I want is to have you listen to me once. Just once , the both of us without our egos , our parents .
Hmmph.
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Do leave in your comments if you all want to see , more of Dev's insights from his diary of sorts :")
-Nidhi :)
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashmah
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