Marriage:Is rishte ko blame karo? - Page 2

Originally posted by: rahulvats12

Wow..lovely Post

Originally posted by: dlavanya

Is rishte ko nahi ... tere aur tere amma ki exclusive rishte ko blame karo dev babu

Originally posted by: twinkle-stars

Superb!!

Originally posted by: coolmeet

Awesome post.

I have seen many in this forum compares their spouse with the characters of the serial. I may be wrong.No offence.

No offense taken at all dear😊😊

Coming to your post, I agree with your pov.L Oved all the points you mentioned.

I never found it irritating whenever my mil asked me for cooking or koi custom follow karne ko bola ho.For me, she too is my mother .

I never asked my hubby to change his habits or anything else for me.We both accepted each other as we r.Whether good or bad.

Blame karna is not the solution .

Originally posted by: sjain

Absolutely wonderful post :)

I loved the point when MIL points says something..it becomes offensive but with mothrs its not..why this difference

Wow is it only MILs who trear you differently ..DIL to treat thrm differently

So agree with u...Most of the posts in the forum are pro dil and anti mils because i assume that most forum writers are less than 50 years of age..When we reach the mil stage,I am sure we will all empathize more with the mils and blame the evil dils😉.On a serious note,there are enough dils who treat their mils like crap...So the fault lies both ways.That is why I sometimes think it is the nature of the relationship. Mistrusting is easy and trusting is difficult in this relationship

I agree to all these 6 points..well ekaborated :)

Its a pleasent surprise to see such sane honest post after ages :)

Thank u so much.It is wonderful to see honest and sane responses too 😊

Originally posted by: rock&roll

It is wonderful that you have an excellent rapport with ur mil and hubby 😊.This is indeed the rarest of rare cases.U r blessed that way(Touchwood😳).In most cases,even if ppl have a good rapport with their hubby,it becomes almost impossible to develop a good rapport with their mil.

Actually the main reason for this(beyond all the points I have written) is acceptance.When a girl gets married,unfortunately she is the one who shifts to the place where the boy lives.So she gives up her life and fits into the boy and his family's house.Therefore,I believe that the onus is on the boy and his family to take the first step to make her feel welcome ,comfortable and feel accepted.When the girl feels accepted and a part of the family,she will never take offense at what anyone says.

All the points that I had written in my post will start kicking in only because and after the girl feels that she doesn't belong.If she is made to feel a part of the family,she will accept her mistakes,make the necessary adjustments willingly and understand that anything her inlaws tell her is for her good.But for this to happen,the first step has to come from the inlaws annd hubby.

In my own case,I have a very different rapport with many ppl from my inlaws side.My relationship with my mil is a very cold one completely devoid of trust.This happened because my mil always found fault with me and my parents from day one.She never missed an opportunity to pass snide remarks or make my life miserable.The result is that today,even if she says something normally or nicely,i feel there is a hidden agenda or reason behind it.I have little empathy for her and am unable to trust her(i assume the reverse is also true,coz trust is a two way street)

My fil has a very short temper,but is good at heart.I realized this with time.So even though my fil has shouted at me for no fault of mine on more than one occasion,I don't hold anything against him.I know that he is not bad at heart.Secondly he can also talk very lovingly and be genuinely nice at times.So that cancels out the bad behaviour,

I have an awesome rapport with my hubby's brother and sister and their families.My rship with my hubby is of course,very blow hot blow cold,as u all know😉😆.

What I am trying to say is that when it comes to relationship with inlaws and hubby(esp in an arranged marriage),the relationship moves forward on the path that they carve.Trust begets trust .If they start off on a path of acceptance and trust,the relationship can be beautiful.

Par woh neem ke beej boyenge to usse aam ke phal to nahin niklenge na😳