*Season 2, Week 12* Analysis Threade - Page 45

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@saumie: After today, my respect for Jatin has increased tenfold, and I already respected him a lot. He picked up on the fact that Dev was hurt by his presence, and gritting his teeth for Soha's sake, and he gave Dev the respect he deserves as Soha's father, Sonakshi not withstanding. A few weeks ago, I made a post about Sona swinging like a pendulum and switching alliances between Dev and her parents; the gist was that when she is on one side, she is really on that side, and either neglects or antagonises the other. In that discussion, I had expressed the fear that if both Bijoy and Dev refused to support her, Sona would take refuge in Jatin's affirmations and he would be more than happy to oblige. Today he proved that fear completely wrong by refusing to be used in her effort to antagonise Dev.

Sona's tendency to deploy the men in her life against each other makes me very uncomfortable. When Bijoy was taking Soha to Kolkata, she threatened him with Dev. When Dev said he couldn't come live in Bose house, she threatened him with Bijoy (Soha going to Kolkata). When Dev showed up, she dismissed Bijoy's concerns, but then Dev interfered in her family's issues with the Mandals, and used lies once again to solve/avoid problems. This triggered some very raw feelings in Sona and she has swung back to Bijoy-land to protect her heart. As a result, she is making Dev feel unwanted faster than you can say paraya, and this time I do believe it was on purpose.

I feel that Jatin made the decision to leave because of this, not because of Dev. He can see that he is becoming a pawn in this convoluted game, and he didn't want to be just another excuse for her to pick a meaningless fight with Dev that addressed none of their true issues or feelings. Dev has illustrated that he has no issues with Soha spending time with Jatin in the abstract; he is just anxious about missing more important moments. Jatin has made it clear that he respects Dev's place as Soha's father and has no intention to compete for that spot. When the two men themselves are showing so much respect for each other, it was sad that Sona's outbursts made them each feel redundant and/or intrusive in Soha's life.

Originally posted by: Shaavi

Hats off to all the amazing writers in this thread. It was a pleasure to read all the different perspectives. 👏

Going by the episodes this season, I am more in love with KRPKAB. Season 2 episodes are way better than season 1 episodes 😃. I am really enjoying the way they are presenting the different colors and layers of life and relationships.

The first time Sonakshi is introduced to Dev, it is in Dr. Sinha's office. When Dev sees her he tells Dr. Sinha that he doesn't want Sonakshi "advicing" his mom. Sonakshi retorts by saying if I am not "advicing", then who is, you?. She also says that no one would have taken "advice" from him. Coming to Monday's episode, it was shown that Asha took Dev's "advice" and agreed to not disclose the truth. This came as the first shock to Sonakshi. But when she confronted Asha regarding it, she received the second shock. Asha took away the power of decision making from Sonakshi for the first time(as shown in the series). Till date any decision made by Sonakshi was considered as to be the "right" one for the whole family and Asha took that away.

This was something that Sonakshi could not understand as to how Asha could accept Dev's "advice" that too on relationships when she has always said that he doesn't know how to handle relationships. Before she could calm herself down, came the next shock where Dev saw through her and told her that she was Dev 1.0 (thanks Sam). All these combined anger was waiting to be erupted and it got its venue when Bijoy taunted Dev and he reacted.

Asha who is a great observer saw all this. She also realized that the reason for breakup between Dev and Sonakshi is not as Sonakshi painted it to be. She saw how much Sonakshi herself was responsible for what happened 7 years ago and also saw Bijoy reflected completely in Sonakshi. Hence she first talked to Sonakshi by herself so that she could get BD to take a backseat so that SM can come forward. She knew that SM is the only rational personality that has the echo of old Sona. BD taking backseat was very very temporary. Especially since Saurabh and Ronita who are supposed to be angry at Dev are being very very friendly with him. She is unable to accept that her perception towards Dev and his inabilities are not completely right.

As Sam mentioned this anger festering in her is looking for an outlet. But due to Asha's counseling, she is trying to not only put a lid on it, but attempting to make Dev jealous so that the onus of starting a fight falls on him. When she told about the time when Jatin was with her, SM wanted Dev to know her struggles and how she missed SD, but BD wanted to give Dev a reason for jealousy. To show him what he missed by not being with her, by rejecting her(this is her perspective. Not intended to hurt anyone)

This also explains why she decided to come to Delhi and reveal Soha to Dev. In Shimla, during their fight she tells Dev that he shouldn't have married her to become "mahaan". She thought that him marrying her inspite of knowing about her infertility, he was trying to be "mahaan". But it was not how Dev felt. He didn't feel he was doing something great by hiding the facts regarding her ability to conceive. For him, he loved her and nothing else was as important as her. When he did not let her go, but claimed her as his own, she felt that maybe she had misunderstood and that he genuinely wanted her. Not to be great or anything. But then slapgate happened which made her feel that she was right. Dev was trying to be great and did all that as he wanted her to be indebted to him. To show that Dixits were better than Boses.

I am just presenting my pov. Not intended to hurt anybody's feelings. I like all characters and am analyzing based on how I see them, their interactions and behavior. I am sorry in advance if I hurt anyone and it is unintentional. 😃

Since her breakup with Dev in that farmhouse, she has wanted to tell him that her family is better than his, that she is better than him and is looking for Dev to confirm that. But she is finding it very hard to do so given Dev"s unpredictability. That is the reason she keeps telling that he is predictable and cannot surprise her. She is repeating it to herself.

By revealing Soha to Dev and saying she wants him in her life, she is trying to say that she is better than him. That Boses are superior and follow the morals and have high values. It is true that SM genuinely wants SD to be part of Soha's life. But BD wants that accolade and gratitude from IS. Sonakshi's all reactions are directed towards this only.

As to future story, Bijoy's stress level has been increasing rapidly ever since Dev came to stay at Bose house. Since then it has only elevated. Vickky's instigation has also added more fuel especially combined with his family respecting Dev when he has proved to them how wrong he is(the theft and that he i is trying to ruin their happiness). He has started to feel that Dev is trying to take his family away from him and they wouldn't consider him wort anything(very similar to Ishwari's insecurities 😆 😛 ).

If Ishwari in her stress overdosed of sleeping pills, Bijoy is on his way to some other stress related issue which most probably will land him in hospital. My guess is this is what will trigger serious talks regarding Sonakshi and Jatins wedding and even Soha accepting it.

The future story as I have outlined is just my guesswork. It may happen this way or it may not. 😊 . What we are seeing of Sonakshi and Bijoy is a trailer for what is to come. 😃

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

Thanks so much for pointing this out, Shaavi! It's one of those observations that snaps the whole episode into place for me. Sona was itching for a fight, but was unwilling to take responsibility for starting one, because she is really eager to regain that respect that she has lost in Asha's eyes. That is why she jumped at the chance to instigate Dev, using her defense of Jatin's place in Soha's life. However, as you and DQ both pointed out, Dev refused to give her the reaction she was looking for and later, Jatin stopped her from fighting on his behalf.

When Sona feels insecure about herself, she deals with it by re-arranging her alliances and repositioning herself so that she doesn't have to introspect. I have said in the past that she has a tendency to narrativise her life, so when the narrative doesn't go as planned, she changes the roles and characters while keeping herself the central protagonist. When it was her and Dev's love story, he was her Prince Charming, but after the divorce, he became the villain who, along with his family had oppressed hers. She worked against his accusations and let them define her struggle. Her story became one of a lone woman and single mother, fighting for her family against all odds. The Boses and Jatin all played their parts in validating this heroic vision of herself.

But now, the people she depended on are refusing to validate the roles she casts herself in. Asha showed her how she was wrong, and refused to validate her role as the strong, unquestioned decision-maker of the family. Jatin refused to play the slighted friend in need, and therefore did not validate her as his righteous defender, and Dev didn't rise to her bait and argue directly with her about Jatin, thereby refusing to play the hard-nosed oppressor against whom she was the brave underdog. Even with Bijoy, it's only a matter of time before he finds out that she was complicit in hiding the Mrs. Mandal incident from him -- even he won't be able to validate her as his principled daughter who never strays from the truth. All of these people love Sona very much, but they are no longer willing to keep her on the pedestal she is used to. Each one, in their own way, is recognising how much harm that did her. She took the responsibility so seriously, that in a lot of ways, she became the pedestal and lost herself. 😭

I also think it's important to look at the bigger picture. Yes, Sona said some spiteful things to Dev in anger yesterday, and aggrandised Jatin's role in Soha's life. But that doesn't negate the fact that for the past six years, she has deliberately kept the role of Soha's father sacred to Dev. Who do you think insisted on the clarification that Jatin wasn't Soha's father when they won the race together? It probably wasn't Bijoy or Jatin, both of whom would have been thrilled to make that a reality. Even if Sona didn't want to marry Jatin, she could have entered into a platonic co-parenting arrangement with him to give Soha *a* father's love, but she has always been very clear that Soha should get *her* father's love, and very clear on who exactly that father is. It's to her credit, for setting the boundaries so clearly, that Jatin respects them today, when she is faltering.

Hello everyone !

@Grace. Sonakshi as Sam mentioned was the unquestioned decision maker of Bose family. She was constantly told that what decisions were right for her were right for the whole family. She was also told that she can never do wrong, that her understanding is always right. Even Dev fueled these notion by saying "you are always right Ms. Bose". Similar to how Ishwari thought what she was doing was for Dev's own good, Sonakshi assumed that her decisions were never wrong.

As to Sonakshi being irrational now, she always was to a certain degree since before, but is was not so very visible as it is now. On the first night of their marriage, when Sonakshi' came to know of the reason for Ishwari's acceptance of her, she was shocked. What Sonakshi was expecting at that point was complete acceptance of her. How she saw this non acceptance of her was, how she differed from Natasha who she thought had Ishwari's complete approval. She thinks Ishwari disliked her for her socio economic status. What she is yet to understand is that this dislike stems from insecurity and not the reason as she thinks it to be. Ishwari did not have any problem with Sonakshi being a Bengali or from middle class. This is the reason why Dev got angry when Sonakshi made that comment after she came to know partial truth regarding the jewelry theft.

Sonakshi blames Dev as not knowing how to balance relationships when she is the one who has less understanding of that. When she wanted to bond with Ishwari, she asked her for the halwa recipe. Once she got it, she asked Ishwari to leave the kitchen, went to make the halwa on her own, changed the recipe as per her and expected to get perfect halwa. Here she tried to run even before she has learnt to stand. Conversely when Dev wanted to make muri ghaanto for Suhana, he followed the recipe Asha gave. He also did not just ask her to leave him giving the recipe. He did not make Asha feel left out. But that is exactly how Sonakshi made Ishwari feel. It is something that Sonakshi is yet to realize. She first needs to acknowledge that she did not really push attention to other people's feelings, but just assumed what she wanted and went with her actions and decisions.

During the halwa episode or the shopping episode, what Sonakshi needed to do was be with Ishwari and try to understand her. Not leave her or try to do everything by herself. This is what made Ishwari so insecure that she felt Sonakshi was trying to replace her.

This does not really absolve Ishwari or Dev for what they did. All I mean is the fault doesn't just lay at their door, but also falls is on Sonakshi and Bijoy who acted impulsively without thinking, without paying attention to details and assuming that they were perfect and correct.

Sonakshi needs an eye opener for her "perfect" syndrome. She is a person who believes in fairy tale where the FL is the epitome of virtues like the FL is gentle, kind, understanding even to those who dislike her, like Cinderella or Sno White. This is how she saw herself as and behaved during her married phase. She expected a similar ending as these stories portray. But when the story did not go the way she wanted, she changed the narrative(as Sam mentioned) and labeled Dixits as the tyrants and herself as the rebel who braved to stand against them to protect her family. This is the story she has been telling herself for the past 7 years.

As Sam mentioned, Sonakshi is trying very hard to avoid introspection on her part. Cause if she starts that then she will have to admit that she is not perfect and that she was also at fault which makes her narrative not the whole truth. By admitting her faults she will have to admit that Bijoy is at fault too. That he is not the perfect dad or husband as she idolizes him to be. For Sonakshi and Bijoy it is not easy and is extremely hard to accept their mistakes. The only way they will do so is by breaking down. All of her actions and taunts to Dev is to avoid that introspection which is long due.

Originally posted by: Shaavi

@Grace. Sonakshi as Sam mentioned was the unquestioned decision maker of Bose family. She was constantly told that what decisions were right for her were right for the whole family. She was also told that she can never do wrong, that her understanding is always right. Even Dev fueled these notion by saying "you are always right Ms. Bose". Similar to how Ishwari thought what she was doing was for Dev's own good, Sonakshi assumed that her decisions were never wrong.

As to Sonakshi being irrational now, she always was to a certain degree since before, but is was not so very visible as it is now. On the first night of their marriage, when Sonakshi' came to know of the reason for Ishwari's acceptance of her, she was shocked. What Sonakshi was expecting at that point was complete acceptance of her. How she saw this non acceptance of her was, how she differed from Natasha who she thought had Ishwari's complete approval. She thinks Ishwari disliked her for her socio economic status. What she is yet to understand is that this dislike stems from insecurity and not the reason as she thinks it to be. Ishwari did not have any problem with Sonakshi being a Bengali or from middle class. This is the reason why Dev got angry when Sonakshi made that comment after she came to know partial truth regarding the jewelry theft.

Sonakshi blames Dev as not knowing how to balance relationships when she is the one who has less understanding of that. When she wanted to bond with Ishwari, she asked her for the halwa recipe. Once she got it, she asked Ishwari to leave the kitchen, went to make the halwa on her own, changed the recipe as per her and expected to get perfect halwa. Here she tried to run even before she has learnt to stand. Conversely when Dev wanted to make muri ghaanto for Suhana, he followed the recipe Asha gave. He also did not just ask her to leave him giving the recipe. He did not make Asha feel left out. But that is exactly how Sonakshi made Ishwari feel. It is something that Sonakshi is yet to realize. She first needs to acknowledge that she did not really push attention to other people's feelings, but just assumed what she wanted and went with her actions and decisions.

During the halwa episode or the shopping episode, what Sonakshi needed to do was be with Ishwari and try to understand her. Not leave her or try to do everything by herself. This is what made Ishwari so insecure that she felt Sonakshi was trying to replace her.

This does not really absolve Ishwari or Dev for what they did. All I mean is the fault doesn't just lay at their door, but also falls is on Sonakshi and Bijoy who acted impulsively without thinking, without paying attention to details and assuming that they were perfect and correct.

Sonakshi needs an eye opener for her "perfect" syndrome. She is a person who believes in fairy tale where the FL is the epitome of virtues like the FL is gentle, kind, understanding even to those who dislike her, like Cinderella or Sno White. This is how she saw herself as and behaved during her married phase. She expected a similar ending as these stories portray. But when the story did not go the way she wanted, she changed the narrative(as Sam mentioned) and labeled Dixits as the tyrants and herself as the rebel who braved to stand against them to protect her family. This is the story she has been telling herself for the past 7 years.

As Sam mentioned, Sonakshi is trying very hard to avoid introspection on her part. Cause if she starts that then she will have to admit that she is not perfect and that she was also at fault which makes her narrative not the whole truth. By admitting her faults she will have to admit that Bijoy is at fault too. That he is not the perfect dad or husband as she idolizes him to be. For Sonakshi and Bijoy it is not easy and is extremely hard to accept their mistakes. The only way they will do so is by breaking down. All of her actions and taunts to Dev is to avoid that introspection which is long due.

Originally posted by: Shaavi

As Sam mentioned, Sonakshi is trying very hard to avoid introspection on her part. Cause if she starts that then she will have to admit that she is not perfect and that she was also at fault which makes her narrative not the whole truth. By admitting her faults she will have to admit that Bijoy is at fault too. That he is not the perfect dad or husband as she idolizes him to be. For Sonakshi and Bijoy it is not easy and is extremely hard to accept their mistakes. The only way they will do so is by breaking down. All of her actions and taunts to Dev is to avoid that introspection which is long due.

DQ, sorry for not conveying all that I meant in my last post. The reason I mentioned the halwa incident because I feel that was the turning point of Dev and Sonakshi's relationship. In this episode, it was Sonakshi who said she wanted to learn how to make halwa. Ishwari although was not happy to share that recipe still agreed to give her the details. Once Sonakshi got it, she changed the recipe as per her view and expected the halwa to taste the same as when Ishwari made it.

I agree that Ishwari could have told Sonakshi that the halwa was not good. But how could she have put it to Sonakshi without hurting her. She could have just said it is not good or asked why she changed the recipe or told her not to give it to Dev. Any of this would have meant Sonakshi feeling bad. Ishwari could have stopped Sonakshi from giving it to Dev or told Dev that Sonakshi made it. I agree Ishwari was at fault here. But Sonakshi judging Dev on his reaction was not right too. Later Dev did apologize, but Sonakshi did not admit that she was wrong in changing the recipe. This non acceptance of her doings when things do not go as planned is one of the main flaws of Sonakshi.

It is also where Bijoy's influence comes in. Sonakshi after that goes home and tells Asha that she wants to learn cooking. This decision of Sonakshi is completely put off by Bijoy saying she doesn't need to learn anything. Is it possible for anybody to know everything or that they have nothing left to learn?. When Sonakshi asks him regarding questioning herself if she was enough, Bijoy immediately affirms her saying anyone who makes her question herself is wrong. Why?. I mean there are times when my kids teach me things. I learnt the correct pronunciation of the word "of" now from my son. 😃 . But Bijoy clearly told her she has nothing left to learn and also she need not change.

If it was Asha in Bijoy's place, she would have first asked Sonakshi what happened and then advised taking all information into account. Instead there was Bijoy who jumped to the conclusion that Sonakshi was being forced to do things she did not want and hence they were hurting her. Even in the theft issue, Sonakshi just heard Dev saying "Ronita's mom is insecure" and wanted to reveal it to all and judge her based on that. What Sonakshi should have done before jumping down Dev's throat was ask "do you know why Ronita's mom is insecure?". This would have revealed the underlaying reason and insecurity is only cleared by clear communication. It is not something that will disappear overnight or by someone saying don't be insecure.

The interesting part will be Ronita who respects Dev coming as the "daughter" to Bose house. If Bijoy wanted Sonakshi to have the same place in IN to what she had in Bose house as the unquestioned decision maker, chances are Mrs. T has similar expectations regarding Ronita's place in Bose house. Will Bijoy be ok if Ronita starts making decisions without consulting them and expect them to accept it without rejecting it. Similarly will Sonakshi be ok when Ronita supports Dev while she is opposing him.

What I am trying to convey is Bijoy has given that understanding to Sonakshi that she is "perfect" and hence she can never be wrong. What Bijoy should have helped her was to say it is ok if she doesn't know everything. She was still awesome. And guided her to accept her flaws and failures gracefully instead of saying that she was never at fault and she did not have any weaknesses.

Originally posted by: Shaavi

DQ, sorry for not conveying all that I meant in my last post. The reason I mentioned the halwa incident because I feel that was the turning point of Dev and Sonakshi's relationship. In this episode, it was Sonakshi who said she wanted to learn how to make halwa. Ishwari although was not happy to share that recipe still agreed to give her the details. Once Sonakshi got it, she changed the recipe as per her view and expected the halwa to taste the same as when Ishwari made it.

I agree that Ishwari could have told Sonakshi that the halwa was not good. But how could she have put it to Sonakshi without hurting her. She could have just said it is not good or asked why she changed the recipe or told her not to give it to Dev. Any of this would have meant Sonakshi feeling bad. Ishwari could have stopped Sonakshi from giving it to Dev or told Dev that Sonakshi made it. I agree Ishwari was at fault here. But Sonakshi judging Dev on his reaction was not right too. Later Dev did apologize, but Sonakshi did not admit that she was wrong in changing the recipe. This non acceptance of her doings when things do not go as planned is one of the main flaws of Sonakshi.

It is also where Bijoy's influence comes in. Sonakshi after that goes home and tells Asha that she wants to learn cooking. This decision of Sonakshi is completely put off by Bijoy saying she doesn't need to learn anything. Is it possible for anybody to know everything or that they have nothing left to learn?. When Sonakshi asks him regarding questioning herself if she was enough, Bijoy immediately affirms her saying anyone who makes her question herself is wrong. Why?. I mean there are times when my kids teach me things. I learnt the correct pronunciation of the word "of" now from my son. 😃 . But Bijoy clearly told her she has nothing left to learn and also she need not change.

If it was Asha in Bijoy's place, she would have first asked Sonakshi what happened and then advised taking all information into account. Instead there was Bijoy who jumped to the conclusion that Sonakshi was being forced to do things she did not want and hence they were hurting her. Even in the theft issue, Sonakshi just heard Dev saying "Ronita's mom is insecure" and wanted to reveal it to all and judge her based on that. What Sonakshi should have done before jumping down Dev's throat was ask "do you know why Ronita's mom is insecure?". This would have revealed the underlaying reason and insecurity is only cleared by clear communication. It is not something that will disappear overnight or by someone saying don't be insecure.

The interesting part will be Ronita who respects Dev coming as the "daughter" to Bose house. If Bijoy wanted Sonakshi to have the same place in IN to what she had in Bose house as the unquestioned decision maker, chances are Mrs. T has similar expectations regarding Ronita's place in Bose house. Will Bijoy be ok if Ronita starts making decisions without consulting them and expect them to accept it without rejecting it. Similarly will Sonakshi be ok when Ronita supports Dev while she is opposing him.

What I am trying to convey is Bijoy has given that understanding to Sonakshi that she is "perfect" and hence she can never be wrong. What Bijoy should have helped her was to say it is ok if she doesn't know everything. She was still awesome. And guided her to accept her flaws and failures gracefully instead of saying that she was never at fault and she did not have any weaknesses.