Posted:
This week I am participating in a ping pong and air hockey contest at work between 12 - 1 p.m. (They offered free pizza lunch. And sorry, this lazybones only works for food). So the updates this week will be like Friday.
I will open the thread. You guys can continue your discussion. I will update later and change the title with EDITED!!!
EPISODE: The episode starts with Sonakshi driving home with Soha and Soha isn't talking to her. Sona tries cajoling. But nothing works.
On the other hand at Dixit house, Ishwari is sitting with same sulking face for exact opposite reason. Mama tries to tell her that Radha is wrong. But Ishwari is worried that Dev hasn't returned yet and God knows what he will be doing with Sona in front of children at a children's camp.
Anyhoo, Dev hears the tailend of her concern and he tells her that he will never get back with Sonakshi even for Soha.
Ishwari still charges that she thinks that Dev could never let Sonakshi go. She hoped that Sona forever go far far away from Dev.
Dev says that if Sona goes far far away from him, then he will lose Soha too.
Ishwari reveals her true intention. She hopes that Sona leaves Soha now that the baby making machine popped out the baby and then she falls off from the face of Earth.
Dev asks her if she knows what she is saying. But Ishwari had no answer. She just makes faces as if now she has to figure out how to train the new puppy which has tendency to bite into her reign.
Me: See? Now refer back to my very recent post (Friday), when Sonakshi said that had he given her rights too they would have been a happy family. I wrote that no matter what happened, they won't have been happy family unless she conveniently died. Then they will be happy family with Dev, Ishwari, Soha and her picture in the wall. Hence proved.
Dev can never leave his mother and his mother will nevet let any woman in his life live peacefully. This is a catch 22 situation which no one can win.
Bhaiya, I am glad you deducted your mother's reasoning. Note your mother had no response to it. Now I can guess why you agreed to move to Bose house. You don't want this situation to be revealed in front of Soha right now.
However, I know that you will forget and forgive your mother this time as well. Your generosity is boundless for your family.
Anyhoo, Sona and Soha reach home. Soha reveals to Bijoy that she now calls Dev Papa. Bijoy gets upset. Sona tries to get her to talk some more but Soha runs away. Sona is worried.
Me: I swear Bijoy you are annoying the heck out of me right now. How long do you think Soha would continue to call Dev Mr. Dixit? If you turn Ishwari the way they are showing Soha turning her, I'd personally bash you here. You may have issues with Dev which I don't deny or blame you for. But that has nothing to do with his relationship with his daughter. The only decision here should be Sona's and his. Not yours. So be the grandparent who adore grandkids and stop being the interfering grandparent like Ishwari.
Later Asha approaches Sona and asks her about the camp. Sona reveals how Dev was really a good dad and how he won Soha over. She praises him saying that Soha fell in love with him and now she wants them together.
Asha asks her what she wants.
Sona says that this is not about her. This is about Soha. Dev and her now have nothing between them.
Asha tells her that now they have Soha between them.
Me: Asha, I know that you in your bubble wrapped, unicorn life can't imagine what it feels to be in a suffocating atmosphere where people wake up dreading to face the day. But Sona knows it. And that is not an atmosphere a child grows up to be a healthy adult.
Now, while if Sonakshi is with a man who is also the father of her child, you can neatly tie a romantic story with a bow, but the fact is that a child will one day become an adult and have a life. So a marriage can't last using a child or a responsibility as an excuse. A marriage is based on love, mutual respect, understanding and support. And Sona and Dev might have love (if you call it love), but nothing else.
You heard how Sona praised Dev's effort to be a gread dad? Dev would never in a million years say the same about Sona being an awesome mom to his family. Instead, he just talks about Sona being as much worth of mention as Soha deems her to be. Yet, you want Sona to be saddled as a free gift that they can't re-gift along with Soha. Seriously?
Anyways, Dev thinks about the past and Soha's demand and come to his room. Golu comes there. Dev tells him that he is a bad dad that for once his daughter asked him for something and he could not give her that.
Golu tells him that he is a great dad. He made so much effort in winning Soha over. He can't even ask anything from his dad because he knows that he will get scolded and he won't do anything for him.
Me: Remember yesterday I wrote that Golu would swap places with Soha in a heartbeat? Now ask Soha if she'd like to have Elena and Vicky style parenting where they are busy in their life and ignore her but is together under one roof.
In her case though, it will be more like her parents fighting constantly in screaming matches and too busy in their argument to pay her any attention, but still living under the same roof vs. now when she gets their exclusive attention because each are at peace.
Golu, sweety. You are probably the smartest little boy I have ever saw on the screen. What you can see clearly, your BigCha being the parent can't see. But it's new for him yet. Don't worry. He will learn what it takes to be a parent.
Soha is sitting at home looking at Dev's picture and thinking of her father. But she is not upset. Uh huh... She is smiling. Sabko ulta latkake choti packet is busy plotting. Dev makes Golu call her and asks her how is she feeling. But instead of preparing in advance. Dev instructs Golu on the phone with Soha. So obvioualy, choti packet, big brain catches their trick. Golu denies that he is calling for Dev. But Soha doesn't say anything.
Me: Well, Golu. Aapne to aag laga di. Ab mini time bomb apne parents ka time kharab kar rahee hain.
Anyways, Dev and Sona meet at office (same day since same outfit. Waise yeh Sona ki outfit kaun se garage sale se uthate hain CVs? Hamare yahan homeless person aise dikhte hain).
Sona says that since they came back from camp, Soha has not been talking to her. Dev says that she didn't say anything to Golu either. They point finger at each other and say that she is like the other.
Dev blames Sona that Suhana is stubborn and stuck up just like her.
Sona blames Dev that Suhana is unpredictable like him. She used to share everything with her. Now she is starting to hide things just like him.
Me: Suhana tum dono ki naani hain. Tum logon se sirf paani hi nehin, dekh lena kya kya bharwati hain. Thoda parenting ke classes le lo warna woh dono ki class lagayegi. Duffer kahin ke...
Then Sona picks up the phone. Can't remember if the phone rang or she thought to call Soha. Anyhoo, the phone falls on the ground. Both tries to pick it up when they boink heads. They both remember how Sonakshi used to bump head twice saying that otherwise they will get horns.
They get nostalgic. But Sonakshi doesn't bump head again.
Sonakshi says, Soha must have been so upset hearing them. Dev is instantly guilty saying that he should not have said no to Soha.
Sonakshi says that he did right. They should talk to her again.
Dev is thinking.
Me: Let me clap for you guys. Yes, Sonakshi, Dev will need you to guide you through his new found status. His first instinct is to act like genie in a bottle with the people he loves. But the fact is that when you are a parent, you can't grant every single whim of your child. That's the difference being an aunt or uncle and parents. Aunts and uncles are there to spoil the kids and then pass them on to the parents. And it's the parents job to discipline so that kids don't become spoiled.
Soha needs to know that just because now she has a father and new family, she can't manipulate the situation to her whims.
Dev, you finally understood how to be a co-parent. Sona has more experience in this situation. So take advantage of her knowledge. She will guide you through the tricky lanes of parenting.
Next morning Dev is waiting with Golu in front of Bose house. Golu asks why are they there. Dev says that he wants to meet Soha. Golu says then he should go and meet her.
Dev says that's fine. He is used to waiting for people of that house. They often get angry on him and he waits for them to forgive him.
Golu says that what kind of house is this who is always angry on his BigCha? But isn't it bad to look in secret?
Dev gets up in a hurry and wonders where is Soha?
Me: Ooo aahhh ouch... Bhaiyaji, chota packet bina situation jaane bhi kya bomb maarta hain, nehin? đ
Sona comes out and asks what is Dev doing. He says that he came to meet Soha. Sona says that Soha went to school before she got up. She never goes to school without saying bye to her.
Dev is worried too. He thinks that Soha is still upset with them.
Me: I am worried three. Kaun si bachhi bina kisiko bataye school jaa sakti hain? I mean chalke ya udke to nehin gayee hogi. CVs uncle, logic ki aur kitna kachori taloge? Golu abhi tak school nehin gaya. To iska matlab school ka time nehin hua. To Suhana kya darwaze ke bahaar khadi rahegi?
Anyhoo, moving on...
Dev wants to meet Soha as soon as possible so he decides to go to school. He tells Sona to sit on his bike behind Golu.
Sona refuses. Dev insists. And they have a mini argument on mode of transportation to school (honestly, who is the parents here?). Finally they decide to go in their preferred mode of transportation.
Golu says that they always keep on fighting.
Me: Chalo, aap logon ne aaj kya sikha? Ke compromise kaise karte hain. Good. Kal hum log sikhenge ki apna age kaise act karte hain. Okay bachhon?
Haan beta Golu. Tera to parents ka option hi itna kharab hain ki inhi ke saath compromise karna pad raha hain. Batao.
They reach school and sees Soha sitting on the bench. They try to get her to talk but they can't get her to share. Then school bell rings. Suhana goes in.
Me: Yeh gaya bait aur woh kiya swallow. Ab bas lapeting parents into a neatly tied package.
Back at office Dev thinks of the past and thinks that he has not given Suhana what she wanted.
Sonakshi is in a meeting and Dev comes in. He says that he wants to talk. Sonakshi tells him to give her time. Dev is restless thinking that Suhana wants to go away from them. Sonakshi says that she is not being able to understand what is going on inside Suhana. Dev tells her that if she doesn't understand, who will? She has given birth to her and raised her for six years. She has to understand her.
Me: Wow wow wow... Finally. You know, as much as I hate kids manipulating parents. One good thing that came out of it is now Dev and Sonakshi are thinking and operating like a parenting unit instead of one upmanship Dev was playing earlier. So that's a great initiative.
Sonakshi says that since she is upset with them, may be she can ask Jatin to talk to Soha. Soha is very close to Jatin. Dev refuses to let Soha talk to Jatin. He says that if anyone talks to Soha, it will be him or her. No one else. They will have to try.
Me: Both have valid points. Sona is right in the sense that if Soha is upset with them both, then a neutral third party can get Soha to talk. But Dev is right in the sense that parents need to try to find solutions for their kids.
But the circumstances are different here. This is not normal household. While parents should solve their children's problems. But if solutions can't be found, sometimes neutral third party can help. If not Jatin, then at least a counsellor.
Anyways, Ronita's mother and her come to Bose house. They apologise for doubting them. Bijoy gets hyper again. He says that they no longer have relationship with them. They made a mistake making alliance with Dixits. They keep interfering in their life and playing dirty games.
They decide to finalise the date for wedding. Everyone is happy.
Me: While Bijoy is hyper. But the fact is that Ishwari, Radha and Vicky are indeed playing dirty games and Dev is getting painted by the same brush in Bijoy's eyes by his association. We are what company we keep. I am sorry, but fact is fact. If someone's family is made of frauds, who will believe in their honesty specially someone who is devoted to the same family?
Sona and Dev are standing outside the school. Golu comes and says that Soha didn't sit with him, eat lunch with him or talk to him. She even got scolded by the teacher which never happens.
Dev and Sona are worried.
Me: And this is why you need a neutral third party like a counsellor.
Precap: In precap, Soha tells Sona that if Dev and Sona can't stay together, then Bijoy should book tickets for Asha, Bijoy and Soha for Kolkata. Asha says that there is still time for Durga Puja. Soha says that she doesn't want to go there for Durga Puja, but to move in with Asha and Bijoy in Kolkata.
Sona, Asha and Bijoy are all shocked.
Me: Here's the thing. Soha can demand. But no grandparent can take a child to live with them in a different city without the parents' permission. Dev and Sona need to make sure that Soha understands that she doesn't have an upper hand in this case which she can play at her whim.
Parenting, in my opinion, isn't handing over whatever the child wants. Parenting is to be tough for the child's good. Of course when the child is an adult, he/she can make their own mistakes/choices. But when the child is underage, parents should make sure that they give the child what the child needs like love and attention, not what the child demands.
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