Havima, I liked the way you challenged your hubby to travel directly to your maika and how he accepted it, though he had to face the aftereffects. It's the same everywhere and in my case, even I going directly to my maika used to be disapproved by my MIL in the initial years. We stay abroad and since, both of her sons are here, for the last 13years my MIL is here with us/BIL's family. The first time when we went for vacation after she started staying with us, I planed to go directly to my maika, for which she raised objection. Then my hubby spoke for me telling her that the whole year I was staying with them and if I wanted to go directly, she should not object; rather wholeheartedly approve it. Hearing this she agreed for it, half-heartedly. So, in return for supporting me, what I did is I didn't force my hubby to come & stay at my maika during the vacations, also because my MIL would be alone at home. In the initial years he would just come in the morning and leave in the evening. But, as years passed by, he started keeping her with one of her brother's house or my co-sister's house which are nearby and come & stay for 1-2 days. Now, it has improved to the extent that, even when he goes alone for a short visit, he makes sure that he will stay at my maika for atleast 1day. Recently, he had been on a 4-day visit w.r.to a property deal and it happened that on the day exactly when my father was turning 70, my hubby had the signing of the documents to be done...He being a person who is not much interested into the celebrations and since he had a hectic schedule that day, I didn't force him to visit my parents that day. But he gave me an overwhelming surprise by getting a birthday cake for my father and being there to wish him on behalf of all his kids, though it was late by night 8pm. My father was really taken aback, as he was a little bit sad that none of his kids were there in person to celebrate his 70th birthday and then this happened. So, why I wanted to convey is that, sometimes not forcing them even, can do wonders...They just need to feel that we understand their dilemma...😊
Rightho... i agree with what you are saying grace.. Anything done forcefully never yields positive results. That was a one time challenge between us to experience how one feels at the others' place. Particularly my hubby felt tht i am treated like always been the part of the family nd my feeling of an outsider is totally baseless. Also he had the view tht my in laws are very openminded like thy always claimed nd he always took thm at their face value.
When he took the decision of staying at my maika( it was only for a day).. he informed thm of his decision nd my in laws agreed with it albeit reluctantly but the extent of their disapproval was clear to him only later which was a rude wake up call for him. Though he was disappointed in their reactions he got over it quickly. But just like dev- ishu relation he has again gone back to square one of taking thm at face value. ( a very looong sigh).
I like how this show is mirroring some of the very sensitive issues. Men will never understand the intricacies of relationships. When i can read bet the lines of my in laws expectations...he simply turns a blind eye to it saying am overthinking. And i become the villain when i force him to do things the way my in laws expect. ( and also see to it tht my in laws doesnt know abt it). I bet almost every married woman would have gone thru this.
Like Dev.. i can confidently say thy are very good at only one relationship at a time with a mediocre performance in rest of thm and tht too with assitance frm women(wife). And at all times thy are only average to above average husbands and never exceptional. Call me crazy for saying this... we women lot are happiest if we get an above average one😆😆😆
Edited by havima - 8 years ago
