Posted:
Originally posted by: grace4317
Sona also has a fair share in not sharing her feelings with Dev. Infact, if we keep the pre-nup issue** aside, Dev was open about his feelings with Sona. From the very first day of their confession itself, he was open with her...took her to all those places which were significant in his life, before confessing his love for her...Next day asked Sona also to share all her feelings (whether be it her past or her fears or her wishes) to which Sona replied in a cold way...Phir bhi he tried to know about her through the SNS updates, which again was discouraged by Sona, with the words that as they start spending time with each other he will come to know her more. Again, after their first fight on Neha-Ranveer issue, when Sona left even without informing anyone in the house (except Kichu bhaiya), it was Dev who took the pain to tell Sona that he was a difficult man to deal with and again giving the option to Sona whether she still wanted to be his love. To which she gives heavy promises, similar to the one where she promises Vicky that she will never allow him to destroy Dev. Always, we have discussions on Dev breaking his promises. I have never seen any discussion on Sona breaking her promises, including the last one she made to Dev, on their way back from Shimla. Also, Sona never shared with Dev how she was humiliated by Ishwari with that 2-minute noodles & kachi umar ka pyar barsaati naal waala dialogues; neither the ever protective Baba informed how Ishwari had sent the bracelet along with that insulting letter...What Dev knows is only what he has seen infront of his eyes...But, in those cases also he has supported her in the best possible way. Even during Shimla episode he was pleading with her to help him to help her. Being a person who had no access to his sisters till love happened to him, who had to be helped by his sisters to realize whom he loved and being someone whom from the first episodes itself used to complain why girls are complicated, how difficult would it be to realize what would be going through Sona's mind, unless she expressed it. I had problem with Dev's behaviour in two instances only. First, when on his birthday he didn't inform Ishwari that Sona was waiting for him and that he will go & collect her and come back. 2 days back Ishwari only was concerned about Bijoy sending out Dev & Sona into the Delhi streets in the midnight and so, she could not have opposed Dev going to collect Sona. Second was, when Sona returned from the temple after Ishwari's bashings, he didn't even care about Sona's broken look. He could have taken a moment to comfort her instead of complaining why Sona didn't bring Ishwari. I know in both cases, Ishwari was involved and in such situations he can behave like a horse with blinkers; but still he could have managed it, atleast in the first situation.**(Hiding of infertility report and financial help to Saurabh, I can see only as his concern on how it will affect Sona & her self-esteem. He being a person who was disturbed seeing Sona's burnt feet & her pain during the Diwali celebrations, would never want to hurt her knowingly. that's it)
This is what I think:
Life is not a fairly refereed game. If so, we can tally Dev and Sona's actions and clearly see who the winner is.
Life is a series of actions and its consequences. Consequences based on what the other side feels. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction but the reaction isn't necessarily the same.
For example, when my daughter uses words to be offensive to her brother, my son uses his hands and legs in return :-) BUT there is a fine line, she shouldn't swear and he can't make her cry in pain.
The point is they are okay to choose tools to achieve a task (even if it is to fight with siblings)but there is a moral code.
Life is also a cumulative of our actions. That is we learn by practise and others learn from our repeated actions. Thats how we learn from our mistakes and build a reputation.
The truth is that we are not Dev or Sona here, just by-standers watching this.
Sona broke promises, Dev did too. Dev didn't express feelings. he just said I'm a difficult person, my life is complicated. Sona didn't express her feelings. Maybe but is that important in the grand scheme of things. Her husband visibly saw Mami taunting Sona her but didn't do anything to stop - if we think there was no malice in Dev's no-action, then perhaps Sona too didn't find it something she needed help with?
Both Sona and Dev are fiercely loyal to their family! We have seen Dev's loyalty when he faces Khatri, deals with Ranveer, Ayaan, Sona and even his employees. We have seen Sona's loyalty when she interacts with her clients, Ishwari, Riki, Neha, Riya and Saurabh.
The fact is Dev hid Sona's medical report.
While one of us can say he hid it because he didn't want to hurt Sona; the other can say well, he did it because he was selfish he wanted Sona come what may and he is a coward for not being able to face his mother's reaction.
Empathy says we can't entirely blame a confused guy so we watch with fear on what he is going to do next.
Now, his mother is thrilled with pregnancy, wife is ecstatic too. What does the moral code say? Don't put them through any further misery. He still went road rolling, steam rolling the truth.
Consequence: Mum was devastated, wife was hurt, her family were disappointed, Mami accused Sona of hiding the truth and if we put all this on a score sheet, the majority of the people in the house where Sona and Dev lived now believed Sona is the culprit.
Not only she realises her husband lied, she was never pregnant and will never be, she is also a liar now. Was that easy on her? She still puts her pain aside and go along to the treatment and holiday. At this stage, she also knows that he has invested in her business. Like she forgave her brother, she didn't make a big deal about Dev's action too on this.
Again, all this is what we see not my interpretation.
We all know the story so I won't list all events and try to justify anyone.
All characters have a reputation.
For Dev, Sona is righteous, independent with a bit of ego.
For Sona, Dev is good-at-heart but fickle minded, rushes to decisions, afraid to speak truth for fear of consequences, adores his mother and will do anything to impress his mother.
Sona finds Shimla very difficult to take.
My interpretation here: Sona's pain is still raw. Don't think most women will get over it. We can reconcile but I believe most girls grow up nurturing their career ambitions alongside their dream for a happy life with a husband and children. We see her struggling with the fact that now all public is aware of her inability to be a mother. She takes it out on her husband. Thats her right isn't it? It is my husband's job to tolerate me on my bad days: some days run a bath and chuck me in it, some days shove me out of the door and ask me to go for a run, some days just sit with his head on his hands and shed a tear! The closest and best relationships are like poetry - if we have to explain every line and feeling, it loses its charm.
Now, they come back and their parents at war. What is Dev to do? Remember reputation and moral code. Morally, he should have piped up straight away and said like he smoothly said to Sona earlier, "Yes, I gave the money. I have invested in his their business. I know I will get a return on investment soon." End of story. But... he built on his reputation and hesitated to speak the truth. Worried about impressing his mother, he violated the moral code too and slapped Bijoy. It is a pardonable offense alright. BUT in Sona's eyes he fell that day: a) only 2 days ago she was labelled the culprit in that house b) her beloved husband, when push came to shove, still hesitated to speak the truth c) her beloved father is hurt.
She made a choice. Again we can stand in different sides and say what she must have done but empathy says thats a choice she made in frustration and we have to watch with fear what happens next.
Sona does everything to uphold her father's reputation. She comes to return the money and ends up arguing with Dev. Now she hears Ishwari say Sona and Dev should separate. She confronts Dev and what does Dev say? Does he address the problem in hand? No. Now, Dev tries to release himself from Sona's hold and Ishwari tumbles. What does Dev do?
That reaction of his is the reason for the break in their relationship. Even with the best of his intentions, he mucked up. Like I said earlier, choose what tools you want to use in the fight but abide by the moral code.
Even if it is a fairly refereed game, Sona went away for a few days when her dad was slapped; She didn't stand there and accuse Dev. He had the upper hand, it was his family around him and he chose to use those words to her. Its a fair fight when both sides are equal in strength. She was alone at that moment. She even had the courage to ask if he meant it before leaving.
Dev was wise to make that statement "You are the strong one and there will never be that awkward silence in our relationship."
What this story has shown me is most promises are there to be broken, relying on each other is relationship after all. There are also times when one must be the stronger one, the honest one and there are some lines which should never be crossed. And those are the times that actually matter!
Members Lounge
CID
