Originally posted by: ---Andromeda---
Coke With Ashi Episode 2
Ladies and gentlemen,welcome to the second episode of Coke With Ashi.Due to the immense success of the first episode,we have decided to continue the series.And today we have another special guest.He is none other than the most handsome,the most dashing,the most foolish,the most spineless,the most selfish man ever.Put your hands together for Devvv Dixit!!!
Music please!!!!
Laila main laila aisi hoon laila
Har koi chahe mujhse milna akela
Jisko bhi dekhu duniya bhula doon
Majnu bana du aisi main laila
Ashi:Arrey!! Yeh gaana nahi bajana tha!! Doosra waala bajao.
Main kabhi batlata nahi
Par andhere se darta hoon main Maa
Tujhe sab hai pata hai na Maa
Tujhe sab hai pata meri Maa
Ashi:Though this song is the most suitable one still usne kuch aur hi demand kiya thi.
Not this one.The other one.
Waqt Ne Kiya Kya Haseen Sitam
Tum rahe na tum hum rahe na hum
(Dev makes his entry)
Ashi:Phew!! Shukar hai iss baar sahi gaana baja.
Welcome Mr Dixit!! Please take your seat.Thank you soo much for accepting my invitation.
Dev:It's my pleasure sweetheart.Waise bhi Dev Dixit itni aasani se kisi ke bhi invitations accept nahi karta.Woh tumne itna insist kiya isiliye I had no choice.
Ashi (thinking):Hain??Maine kab insist kiya?? Khair chodo.
Ashi:So Mr Dixit.Lets begin.First of all will you like to have some Coke.
Dev:No.Can I have whisky??Or scotch??Or Rum??Even beer will do.
Ashi:Nope!! Yahaan par sirf Coke milega.No alcohol is allowed.
Dev:No probs!! Main ek bottle hamesha apne paas rakhta hoon.
Ashi:Errr,let's begin the interview.Tell us something about Devakshi?? You know all of us love/loved Devakshi at a point.It was a beautiful love story(till the first hundred episodes).So tell us something about it??
Dev: Devakshi who?? Dev toh main hoon but who is Akshi??
Ashi:Aapko itna bhi nahi pata?? Dev+Sonakshi=Devakshi.
Dev:Accha Sonakshi!! Usne mujhe dhoka diya.She left me in the middle of the road.
Upar se usne meri beti ko bhi mujhse chupaya.Can you believe it???
Ashi:But you are at fault too.You threw her out.You insulted her and her family.
Dev:Who told you this??It must have been Sonakshi.Baat ko badha chadha ke kehne ki aadat hai usko.
Haan maine usse do chaar gaaliyan di.Uske Baba ko galti se thappad maara.Par woh mera pyaar nahin dekh paayi?? Maine socha tha ki woh meri life main khushiyan bhar degi.Par usne mujhe siwaye dukh ke aur kuch nahi diya.
Ashi:But look at what you did.You made her undergo fertility treatment
without her knowledge.What if something had happened to her??
Dev:It was for her own good.And look it's all because of that fertility treatment ki hamari ek pyaari beti hai aaj.Aaj main baap ban gaya hoon.And Sonakshi became a mother thanks to me only.
Ashi:But you insulted her and locked her inside the building.And then you had a pizza party at home while she was starving.
Dev:It's her fault.Why didn't she call me and beg me for help??And after all that she had the guts to report the IT department.Usne yeh accha nahin kiya.
Ashi: Okay!! But why did you turn a stalker when you saw her with Ritvick and Jatin??Akela chod dete usko.
Dev:I LOVED HER!! It was not stalking.It was Dev Dixit's Deewangi.Usse hurt karne ka haq sirf mera hai!!!
Ashi (scared): Okay!!! Okay!! Calm down.Lets change the topic.So tell us about your new wardrobe.You see,many of us are missing your old look.You looked so decent.
Dev:Tab Dev Dixit dusron keliye jeeta tha.Ab woh khudke liye jee raha hai.
Ashi:What!! Anyway,if you claimed to love Sonakshi soo much then why did you become a casanova and have 'casual relationships'??
Dev:You see,main hamesha se dusron keliye jeeta tha.Par jab Sonakshi ne mujhe dhoka diya uske baad mera pyaar par se vishwas uth gaya.Mujhe bhi poora haq hai life enjoy karne ka.
Ashi:Why did you discredit Sonakshi's success??
Dev:Aise chote mote start ups toh koi bhi khada kar sakta hai.Dev Dixit banna har kisike bas ki baat nahin hai.
Ashi (muttering):As if sabko bada shauk hai Dev Dixit banne keliye.
Ashi: Okay.Tell us something about your relationship with your mother.Why do you overlook her mistakes and blunders??
Dev (eyes become moist ):Meri Maa ne aaj tak bahut kuch saaha hai.Bohot aansoon bahaye unhone.Meri Maa hi mereliye Bhagwaan hai.Unhone mere liye kya kuch nahi kiya.
Ashi:Haan!! Tumhara aur Sonakshi ka rishta bhi unhone hi toda.
Dev:Maa ko beech main mat laao.Badi mushkil se woh apne gum se ubhar paayi hai.Saari galti Sonakshi ki hai.Usne mujhe chod diya.Aur meri beti ko bhi mujhse door kar diya.
Ashi:All right!! So how do you plan to become a good father for Suhana??
Dev (smiles):Main apni bacchi ko duniya ki saari khushiyan laa doonga.Woh meri beti hai.Dev Dixit Ki beti.Maa bhi bohot khush thi apni poti se milkar.
Ashi:But why did you sneak into the Bose house like a thief??
Dev:Jo hota hai Acche keliye hota hai.Agar main Bose House main naa ghusta toh mujhe meri life ki sabse badi khushi kaise milti??
Maine aur Maa ne Suhana keliye bohot kuch plan karke rakha hai.
BTW we have even decided a new name for her.
Ashi:What!!! Kya???
Dev:DID
Ashi:Hain?? DID?? Dissociative Identity Disorder ya Dance India Dance??
Dev:Nahin.DID stands for Devanshi Ishwari Dixit.Its Suhana's new name.
Ashi(mouth open):Hain???
Dev:Devanshi was Maa's idea.She said it means Dev ka ansh and Suhana is my ansh so it was perfect.To make it even better I was the one who suggested that Ishwari should be her middle name.Mujhe laga agar meri beti ko meri Maa ka naam mile toh uski zindagi sawar jayegi.Maine toh affidavit ke papers bhi ready kar rakhe hain.
Ashi:Kyun bhai?? Suhana main kya problem hai?? Suhana Sonakshi Bose is absolutely perfect.
Dev:Maa wanted her to have a new name.
And if my mother wants to change her name toh usme problem kya hai??Anyway she should have my name.
Ashi:Tune kiya hi kya hai?? 7 saal tak Sonakshi ne akele paala hai uss bacchi ko.And Sonakshi gave her an excellent upbringing.
Dev:WOH MERI BETI HAI!!! MERA KHOON HAI WOH!!!
Ashi:Band kar apni bakwas.Jatin is a million times better person than you.Dekh aaj ke episode main woh Sonakshi ko kaise samjha raha tha.
Ashi gives Dev her tab and makes him watch today's Jatin scene .
Ashi (thinking):God,please give him some sense.
Dev(clutches the tab tightly and starts fuming):Sonakshi iske saath itni comfortable kaise ho sakti hai!!!!
How can she do this to me!!!!
SMASH!!! The tab is lying on the floor in pieces.Ashi is shell shocked.Dev is breaking the glasses and everything else he can find.
Ashi:Yeh tune kya kiya?? Yeh tera laptop nahin mera tab tha!!
Koi nikalo isko bahar!!!
Waqt Ne Kiya Kya Haseen Sitam
Tum rahe na tum hum rahe na hum
Ashi:Someone stop this bloody music and throw this man out before he demolishes the entire room!!!!