Snakes and ladders

Hi All,

I am Anita,new to this forum.I have been following this show for a long time and have been meaning to write,but never actually got down to it.

So here I go today after a lot of dilly dallying

I think Sona's reaction has given her he brownie points today(maybe unintentionally) and has made her go one step(or maybe 5 steps) ahead of Ishwari today. While this may seem weird to hear, but actually Sona and Ishwari are playing a game of snakes and ladders.The rules of the game are: The person who makes a sacrifice for Dev and makes it known to him subtly climbs the ladder. The other player automatically slips.So it is like a see saw; as one climbs the other slips. The prize that they are playing the game for is "Mr Mumma's boy."Btw,this game actually goes on in many Indian households😉

Today Ishwari slipped as Sona climbed. Ishwari knows Dev inside out and the game is being played in Ishwari's homeground. So Ishwari was always super confident that she would win this game.The first time she almost lost it was when she separated Sona and Dev.She slipped big time and Sona climbed up.But Ishwari rectified it before you could say Jack Robinson.She again climbed when she allowed non veg in the wedding. After that she has not looked back. Ishwari is not only a master at this game but is also a crooked lady. When things don't go her way she bends the rules without the other player or the prize(Dev) realizing it. She did this during their honeymoon trip. She managed to cancel the honeymoon and also climbed by making a show of guilt. Saanp bhi mara aur laathi bhi na toota.She again did it on Dev calling his mil "maa". She manipulated it very subtly.

Now for the twist in the game. Ishwari would win this game hands down if Sona too was actually playing this game.The problem is Sona is being herself.She is not playing a game.So Ishwari,at times,is caught unawares because of her inability to predict Sona's reaction. Today was one such day.

So why was Ishwari reacting the way she did today?Was she guilty?No,not at all...she thought she was guilty.But actually she was worried,in fact,terrified that Sona had stolen a march from right under her nose.How did the great Ishwari slip on Dev's birthday?Ishwari is now terrified that Sona has made a bigger sacrifice(remember bigger sacrifice made subtly means more points) and has gone really ahead of her.Now Ishwari is looking for a chance to make another big sacrifice for Dev and climb up.

Unfortunately what Ishwari(like many mothers in law) doesn't realize is that, in the long run, even if she wins the game and gets her prize, her son's life is screwed. Her son's life is hopelessly intertwined with Sonakshi's life now.If Sona slips Dev slips too...If ,in the long run,Sona stops playing for the prize(which means she has lost interest in keeping her hubby or his family happy),then Ishwari wins the battle but loses the war. She wins Dev but loses his happiness..and this time it will be forever.

Do let me know your views 😊

PS: The reason I watch this show is its similarity in many aspects with my life. My husband s family were just ok ok economically .Today he is doing very well for himself(touchwood) and is the best educated person in the family. He supports his family financially and morally big time.He has two sisters.The younger one is very sweet(quite like a combination of Nikki and Rhea).Needless to say, my rapport with her is excellent. The elder one is separated from her husband and is forever crying and complaining and shouting at anyone who dares to smile or be happy in her vicinity.The elder one was discriminated against by her mother when she was growing up.Both her parents preferred the son over the daughter giving him better and more opportunities and belittling her. This is her biggest grouse to date.Though ours was an arranged marriage unlike Devakshi's the other similarities are huge.I have been faced with some similar situations earlier and have reacted similarly. Shouting gets a person nowhere especially when "others" are present, and those " others" support your husband. Instead calm acceptance makes the other person guilty. This gives brownie points and increases respect and value of the wife from the husband's pov. It helps to build a stronger long term relationship(Isn't that why people get married?).I am not saying that I did all this in a planned and intentional way.I just learnt this with time.

Hi All,

I am Anita,new to this forum.I have been following this show for a long time and have been meaning to write,but never actually got down to it.

So here I go today after a lot of dilly dallying

I think Sona's reaction has given her he brownie points today(maybe unintentionally) and has made her go one step(or maybe 5 steps) ahead of Ishwari today. While this may seem weird to hear, but actually Sona and Ishwari are playing a game of snakes and ladders.The rules of the game are: The person who makes a sacrifice for Dev and makes it known to him subtly climbs the ladder. The other player automatically slips.So it is like a see saw; as one climbs the other slips. The prize that they are playing the game for is "Mr Mumma's boy."Btw,this game actually goes on in many Indian households😉

Today Ishwari slipped as Sona climbed. Ishwari knows Dev inside out and the game is being played in Ishwari's homeground. So Ishwari was always super confident that she would win this game.The first time she almost lost it was when she separated Sona and Dev.She slipped big time and Sona climbed up.But Ishwari rectified it before you could say Jack Robinson.She again climbed when she allowed non veg in the wedding. After that she has not looked back. Ishwari is not only a master at this game but is also a crooked lady. When things don't go her way she bends the rules without the other player or the prize(Dev) realizing it. She did this during their honeymoon trip. She managed to cancel the honeymoon and also climbed by making a show of guilt. Saanp bhi mara aur laathi bhi na toota.She again did it on Dev calling his mil "maa". She manipulated it very subtly.

Now for the twist in the game. Ishwari would win this game hands down if Sona too was actually playing this game.The problem is Sona is being herself.She is not playing a game.So Ishwari,at times,is caught unawares because of her inability to predict Sona's reaction. Today was one such day.

So why was Ishwari reacting the way she did today?Was she guilty?No,not at all...she thought she was guilty.But actually she was worried,in fact,terrified that Sona had stolen a march from right under her nose.How did the great Ishwari slip on Dev's birthday?Ishwari is now terrified that Sona has made a bigger sacrifice(remember bigger sacrifice made subtly means more points) and has gone really ahead of her.Now Ishwari is looking for a chance to make another big sacrifice for Dev and climb up.

Unfortunately what Ishwari(like many mothers in law) doesn't realize is that, in the long run, even if she wins the game and gets her prize, her son's life is screwed. Her son's life is hopelessly intertwined with Sonakshi's life now.If Sona slips Dev slips too...If ,in the long run,Sona stops playing for the prize(which means she has lost interest in keeping her hubby or his family happy),then Ishwari wins the battle but loses the war. She wins Dev but loses his happiness..and this time it will be forever.

Do let me know your views 😊

PS: The reason I watch this show is its similarity in many aspects with my life. My husband s family were just ok ok economically .Today he is doing very well for himself(touchwood) and is the best educated person in the family. He supports his family financially and morally big time.He has two sisters.The younger one is very sweet(quite like a combination of Nikki and Rhea).Needless to say, my rapport with her is excellent. The elder one is separated from her husband and is forever crying and complaining and shouting at anyone who dares to smile or be happy in her vicinity.The elder one was discriminated against by her mother when she was growing up.Both her parents preferred the son over the daughter giving him better and more opportunities and belittling her. This is her biggest grouse to date.Though ours was an arranged marriage unlike Devakshi's the other similarities are huge.I have been faced with some similar situations earlier and have reacted similarly. Shouting gets a person nowhere especially when "others" are present, and those " others" support your husband. Instead calm acceptance makes the other person guilty. This gives brownie points and increases respect and value of the wife from the husband's pov. It helps to build a stronger long term relationship(Isn't that why people get married?).I am not saying that I did all this in a planned and intentional way.I just learnt this with time.

Originally posted by: gmgi

Welcome to the forum dear 🤗

Lovely analogy of snake n ladder 😆 . Beautifully written 👏

Originally posted by: Tulip06

Hi

I quite liked what u expressed abt ur personal experiences. I also want to tackle if such situation arises but my question is dose not the hurt which u suppressed pile up and one day spoil ur relation . Or dose not u develop habit of suppressing ur hurt and other person taking u for granted.

Originally posted by: fanktlk

Amazing post. And perfectly explained why Ishwari is sudd enly so good.

How much ever we crib about certain tracks. The connection t for most of us is in a much deeper level.

We have witnesses some of the things shown, not merely seen but lived.

Originally posted by: cscs

Hi Anita, a very well analysed post. 😊

Honestly i haven't seen Ishwari's and Sona's relationship from snakes and ladders pov but after reading your post i can relate from it. Although i believe whatever Ishwari do is subconscious efforts of her mind. She is no plotter or planner as such. 😆 But yes in her conscious, sub- conscious and even in unconscious state of mind she has Dev in her mind and her insecurity regarding it.

She wants her God like image in front of Dev intact and whenever it starts shaking she panics. She doesn't know that for Dev its never gonna change. He has always been silent for her goof ups. He didn't confronted her when she swallowed those pills or when he came to know that his own mother sent a marriage alliance for his lover. When he actually showed her mirror after engagement fiasco, she got scared and immediately went to Bose house to correct her mistake. She might be playing some game but that's not intentional.

As far as sona is concerned, she is genuinely a compassionate soul and will never compete. And that's why Ishwari is scared of her. Yesterday i felt that Ishwari was genuinely sorry for whatever happened but yes may be she will get insecure because of Sona's goodness.

Both the ladies in Dev's life are insecure and have fear of losing him, but the way of expressing it is different. 😊