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Today's topic is "Understanding"...
When Sona is angry, she fights back and demands answers. When she is hurt, she suffers in silence, quietly.
You see in the book of "Good Wife", being understanding is probably at the very top of the list.
A woman has to "understand" even when no one is bothering to "understand" her.
It's like the moment she is born a woman, she owes a debt to the world to be "Understanding"...
Mother gave all opportunities to brother. Don't complain, be understanding.
Family gave lion's share of love, care and attention to male cousins. Don't complain, be understanding.
Husband expects to leave own family, but live with his whether they treat us well or not. Don't complain, be understanding.
Husband never asked us about our family nor cares how they are doing, but expect us to live according to his family's whim. Don't complain, be understanding.
In-laws taunt, insult, humiliate and make us feel suffocated in our own husband's home. Don't complain, be understanding.
Husband asks us about our happiness, promises to keep that in mind. But breaks them without a second thought. Don't complain, be understanding.
Husband watches silently while his family treats us like the unwanted pest living with their largess. Don't complain, be understanding.
Husband gets to be treated like a prince in his home, while have us on beck and call whenever mood takes them. Don't complain, be understanding.
Here's my question. It's a very simple one, really.
WHY?
What debt we took being born a woman that we owe the very people who are hurting us (also the same people who should have protected and loved us) "understanding" over and over again like a lifelong debt?
We have to be psychic and understand the underlying messages from the minor twitch, the wrinkle of the eyebrow, the little pout that the poor wee guy is trying to say, but can't say because his own family owns his tongue.
But they have to be told our problem in bold letter with arrow flashing around just in case they missed it. Or even if they didn't miss it, just in case they'd rather ignore it.
So let me ask you, say a woman looks at the double standard that men and women are ingrained with and thinks, you know what? I don't want any daughter because she will go through what I have gone through. I just want son so that he and his wife forever serves me and I will just reign like a queen. Finally, I will have my respect because a woman may never get respect, but being a son's mother is an automatic respect garner. Suddenly even if she is committing crime, she is still owed "understanding" from her son and his wife.
Why give birth to a girl who will go to her husband's house, take care of his family, and when it comes to loyalty, will also put her husband and his family first.
So she will just kill the girl child and keep the boys. Who needs girls?
Can anyone blame her?
Could anyone point out based on what we are seeing on the show and some people's mentality why any woman would want a daughter vs. a son?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and explain how do we dare go into society and claim female infanticide is a crime and men and women are equal when clearly they are not.
A woman may earn as much money, be as responsible, or achieve same or more respect in her profession (Sona is the best nutritionist that's why Dev was after her for Ishwari, but Dev is not the best entrepreneur in the city), yet the moment they step into their home, their position becomes less than that of a man.
The same woman who taunts their daughter-in-law, greets her son-in-law with respect. So even the attitude towards their family and their priorities are valued unevenly.
Not to mention, their expectations, hopes, dreams, wishes, consent etc. are all valued unevenly. Somehow what a man wants is more important than what a woman wants.
So I ask again clarification on why there should be law against people wanting a better life, that only a son provides?
There's nothing wrong in thinking about one's future and wishing to make it better.
EDITED: Today Ishwari lovers would be very happy because for once I have no complaints against her.
When Sona is angry, she fights back and demands answers. When she is hurt, she suffers in silence, quietly.
May be that's why Dev doesn't care much when he hurts Sonakshi, but only cares about an angry Sona if he has to give explanations to.
Not once he considered to ask his family to wait for his wife.
Mamaji calls it "Dharam Sankat". But where is the "Dharam" towards his own "Dharam Patni" where he can't even tell his family to wait for his wife to arrive?
A birthday celebration is not critical surgery that can't wait.
No wonder Radha and Neha think Dev is happy without Sona. Because he gives every appearance of being happy without her.
And Asha, if you thought the advice you gave your daughter was absolutely right in the circumstances, then why did you hide it from your family? As far as I know, Bijoy is an excellent husband to you.
I will tell you why. Your advice to Sona was exactly most mothers tell their daughters so that they don't go and fight with their husbands. You didn't want Sona to get upset and leave her husband. But then you don't know what Sona had been going through. Your judgement based on one isolated incident is skewed. I wonder if you'd advice the same to her if you knew everything your darling daughter had been going through.
But then she is not the kind to run and whine to Mummy. That is solely your son-in-law's domain.
P.S. It's proven that Bijoy Bose is an excellent judge of character. So he doesn't want a single person from his household to enter Dixit house. He couldn't save his daughter from her fate. But he is willing to protect the rest of the children.
Asha has such a beautifully cozy life with her loving family that she sees the reality through filtered rose-tinted lenses.
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