One should pickup what one drops

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Rithu0203

@Rithu0203

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: ltelidevara
Sorry to disagree.Before we preach others we should practice first. There are many areas where Sona doesn't know ABCD at all. Bijoy tells that she doesn't know any household work. Thank god Nitu reminded. It is better if she first master house keeping skills since she is less busy than Dev who has too much work pressure on business matters.

If she doesn't want to involve Iswari let her do it on her own.Why put pressure on Dev? I found it too ridiculous. Work wise Sona is not that pre occupied. Bhola Bhaaiyya looks after everything. Iswari manages kitchen. What else is left for her? Why can't she find happiness in helping her husband relax after a hectic day? And please don't compare your son learning to pick,up what he drops with Dev Dikshit learning household skills.

Sonakshi should first learn how to keep her room neat and decent. But she is not inclined to do so. May be too lazy or egoistic?

About, practice what we preach... Here yes Sona don't know about cooking and house hold works..But she is trying to learn that..

1. we have seen one scene where daadi asked her to do cook various items, she don't know that but she she was readily seen to try her best with help of phone(net).. she didn't even went to ask help from Ishwari or Bhola.. And she didn't went to complain or sulk about this to her mom or mother-in-law or her husband...

2. We have seen Sona kneading the dough properly after making mistakes for many times and getting taunts from Ishwari and GKB..

So, for me she is doing what she is preaching...

When the kid starts walking or try to walk for first time ever, I heard a mom willingly allows her kid to fall, initially help him to getup, encourage him to getup after every fall and finally kid starts learning from his mistakes. This is normal learning process. All can't learn in one go right??

Here, Dev told Sona that he is adjusting to this swing and have no problem. So Sona genuinely thinks that he is trying to learn and same with arranging cloths in cupboard.

As you said, i should not compare Dev with any other kid. But, i can't get his habit.. So being a business man how he managed during his business trips..everytime did Ishwari travelled along with him to look for his needs?? or even being a big business man he didn't had any business trips??

If Dev have some problem with this, he can openly talk to Sona and tell her that he need somemore time to adjust or change in his routine.. or can tell her that he is not comfortable of that swing.(Sona, is not that lame to leave Dixit house or Dev atleast for this reason, so what stops him to talk)

And if people say, that Dev might have fear of losing Sona or her silent treatment so only he hide the truth of his dislike towards change in cupboard or swing to Sona and didn't communicate with her means then when Sona come to know about his act of moving his things from their room to his mom room will she not get anger at that time?? will she not go for silent treatment that time?? Or husband moving the things out of their room to mom's room is not at all fault and its normal thing???

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fanktlk

@fanktlk

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: dlavanya

let me clarify dev is the one messing up the room ...So u r saying once dev messes up twice a day.. All sona should be doing is clean it up .. Otherwise she is egoistic and lazy ?

Relax Lavanya not just the last line. The entire post. Finding balance is a process as much as Dev has to balance Sona has to too. Sona has been both mute and pushy too. She needs to speak out where she should and let things slide where they can and also relax a little.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#13

Oh don't you know Lavanya. God Dev can't even pick up a spoon from the floor. If he drops a spoon, he shouts for Mummy. If he drops toilet paper while sitting in toilet, he calls for Mummy, if his underwear can't be found, he calls for Mummy.

And @itelidevara, apparently you are from the school of thought that men don't do domestic work like I don't know picking up their nightwear from their own wardrobe. They need their Mummy to pick it up for them from their closet. Does he pick up his Superman underwear or want mummy to pick it up for him as well?

I didn't bother replying to you at your post considering what I read you wrote in response to Lavanya's comment. But seeing your high estimation of womankind in general and what you wrote what they deserve for marrying into a joint family, I think I have figured out how futile it is to talk to you as well just like you keep saying to everyone who doesn't agree with you. And for your information, decent joint family exists where women are respected from the very first day and they don't have to "get over" their insults with time. And if they don't exist, then joint family system is a flawed system where they welcome bride with taunts and insults. Just like university ragging and all other flawed system, that system should be banned as well and a man's parents will just have to learn to survive the way a woman's parents survive after their daughter's marriage.

But I forgot who I was talking to.

Sorry Lavanya, but what she wrote in reply to your comment was beyond my comprehension that a woman can say about another woman.

Lavanya, your 5 year old is more independent than God Dev because he is already a little man, not a bottle sucking boy.

Apparently Sona needs to know every household chores (which by the way she is continuously learning) but Dev can't keep his already laundered and neatly folded clothes to his wardrobe. He needs Mummy or wife to do it. If tomorrow his mother and wife dies, he will walk around naked.

I ask you how long does it take to put away some already laundered and neatly folded clothes? 5 minutes? And laundry is not even done everyday. May be alternative days or three times a week at the most depending on how much clothes you have left.

I know exactly how long every task takes. We do our own laundry here.

It takes longer time than that calling for someone and them coming and doing it for us. I couldn't believe some people's thoughts. Seriously!!! As if Dev has been asked to do domestic chores like cooking, cleaning and dusting his room instead of just putting his things in his closet.

Next people will say why even hard working Dev should work trying to have babies? He can delegate that task too.

Why should he would go to washroom and do his own human needs, delegate that as well.

My husband works 12-15 hours day. He is a director in a company. Yet he puts his laundry away himself and this guy needs his Mummy?

Are you kidding me?

Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago

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pkbdas61

@pkbdas61

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#14

Completely agree!

There are comments written about the need for Sona to learn first... what has she be doing in the Dixit house, other than learn... including the scenes where Sona has learnt how to knead, cook the food.. if we have been watching the same show, we have been shown the learning that Sona has been going going through, including the biggest learning of how to deal with a bunch of emotional wrecks who self destruct and destroy others!

On the other hand what does Dev do? What has he learnt other than continue to make false promises and break them?

Can anyone enlighten me as to what Dev is learning through this marriage? Life has thrown so many circumstances at him but ... he may eventually learn but he needs to leave his momma's hand.

Edited by pkbdas61 - 8 years ago

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Meera_Ka_Mohan

@Meera_Ka_Mohan

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#15

Well said... its mother's duty and responsibility to help their kids to become independent and do their chores themselves as they grow up... Here, ishwari never did it and now its Sona's responsibility to help Dev do his chores, its not a big deal...
But ishwari will never understand this...
Poor Sona, kaha phas gayi yeh ladki.

Note... I have not used the word "teach" here, but used the word "help"

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lavanya

@dlavanya

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: fanktlk

Relax Lavanya not just the last line. The entire post. Finding balance is a process as much as Dev has to balance Sona has to too. Sona has been both mute and pushy too. She needs to speak out where she should and let things slide where they can and also relax a little.

You know what needs time to transition - moving a baby from bassinet to crib or from your own room to the babys room... Babies need transitioning.
Dev is a 28 yr old man and taking clothes outbof closet doesnt need any process or transitioning - it just needs him to be patient.
Here going by the way dev is complaining and whining - i cant even compare him to anyone older than 4 yrs old. My little one does so many things on his own even when we didnt teach him how to do it.

Even ishwari told him aaram se dhoond , aaram se chal... All his problems are because of his haste - bad descisions taken impulsively... He needs to learn how to be patient and this is not something that can be transitioned ... He needs to understand where he is going wrong and fix it himself - no one can help him . Yeah one can cover it up and pretend he is fine and he doesnt need to learn anything - that is exactly what mom has been doing to him all these years

Edited by dlavanya - 8 years ago

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#17

@ Tia

But I forgot who I was talking to.

I hope you will remember now onwards and save your precious time. Good luck.

Edited by ltelidevara - 8 years ago

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vibg

@vibg

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#18

ive read so much about wife's duties, dev runs a business, this is not his strong point.. what? finding your own clothes in a closet is such a BIG job for that 8 year old mumma's boy? Seriously 😡 sona didnt ask him to do laundry or jhaadoo pocha. hell, the man cant wven serve himself food! i feel sorry for the girls who think that way. the ones who think sona is being unreasonable, pushy and too much!

as for comparison with sona's lack of cooking skills.. havent we seen Sona making sooo much effort to learn cooking, help in kitchen, serve meals to dixit family while all else sit and ghuseDo food? all the while taking taanas from GKB, vicky and saasu maa! dev cant handle finding his own clothes? he can't see where he is walking to jam into the itna baDa jhoola every time? we know he is figuratively blind but looks he is blind in reality too 😆

and why cant the dude work his charm, like he always do, and ask sona to be patient and help him. instead of crying to mummy?

Edited by vibg - 8 years ago

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CoffeeCake

@CoffeeCake

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

#19

Well said

He is married for heaven sake, there should be something called privacy. It's embarrassing unique maa and gareeb mami keep roaming inside their room like it's a joggers park, not room of a newly wed couple.

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Meera_Ka_Mohan

@Meera_Ka_Mohan

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: vibg
ive read so much about wife's duties, dev runs a business, this is not his strong point.. what? finding your own clothes in a closet is such a BIG job for that 8 year old mumma's boy? Seriously 😡 sona didnt ask him to do laundry or jhaadoo pocha. hell, the man cant wven serve himself food! i feel sorry for the girls who think that way. the ones who think sona is being unreasonable, pushy and too much!

as for comparison with sona's lack of cooking skills.. havent we seen Sona making sooo much effort to learn cooking, help in kitchen, serve meals to dixit family while all else sit and ghuseDo food? all the while taking taanas from GKB, vicky and saasu maa! dev cant handle finding his own clothes? he can't see where he is walking to jam into the itna baDa jhoola every time? we know he is figuratively blind but looks he is blind in reality too 😆

and why cant the dude work his charm, like he always do, and ask sona to be patient and help him. instead of crying to mummy?

Agree with you... 👏
Dev, instead of bumping into the jhoola and hurting himself all the time, he could've politely told Sonakshi to shift the jhoola near the window, as there is lot of space there. Then, automatically the jhoola problem wud've been solved... but no, unnecessary drama is being created and now its being removed from the room.😡

Someone in this forum said rightly about the jhoola and very nicely that how the jhoola is exactly like Sonakshi, who is an outsider and a misfit.. Like Sonakshi, the jhoola is also attractive, has lots of positive vibes and if used properly it will be cherished always, but again like Sonakshi, the jhoola is also not accepted and its not welcomed with open heart...

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