Ishu at her best form?!!

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Is this the maximum that Ishu can get at?!!

For a while it appeared that it was all about Dev's love for her and losing that attention on her.. It appeared that she was possessive for her son's love and attention.. And was upset when she felt ignored... And she looked like a mother who has been left out unnoticed and not been taken care of..

Now it appears that, Ishu is thinking if it's not Dev's undying love and attention for her then let it better be his undying dedication and commitment for her family?! Is that so??

Ish manipulates Dev emotionally, Neha manipulates Ishu emotionally.. Ish takes down Dev to a guilt trip and Neha takes down Ish into a guilt trip... And Ishwari has no way out of it, if she chooses to remain in her past.. And that's what Neha learnt from Ish from her past.. What a parent has finally taught her kids!!! One to return the favors for whatever has been given to him and the other to get the favors for whatever has been taken from her..

And the Dixits' not sitting together and discussing as family for any decisions.. It's all depriving them of the bond that they could have had from their poor days.. Because they all had gone through the rough times together.. It could have made them bonded tightly in love instead of duty.. But no.. It's all driven by momentary troubles to perform the duty... Is Ishu gonna cover her mistakes with more mistakes?!

Say, as a parent, it's out of my love I bring up my child.. I shower my love on my kid without the kid asking for it.. It's out of my own I give it all... And it is love that I get in return... I expect it or not, genuine love felt by my kid, the child sure will return it in many many forms. The moment I put the expectation bar then it's me, as a parent bound to be at gain or loss... What is the scale for love that anyone can set up here? When I was so happy seeing my child walking with no expectations set, a simple baby step looked so beautiful to me.. And I found happiness in it.. Slowly I increase the bars putting pressure on my child... Setting my expectations higher and higher.. Binding them in duty.. In the name of the kid's benefits I set it for my own benefits.. It could be for my financial status or my social status... But am I going to set any limit at all for what I am expecting from my kid?! How long is the kid expected to perform for me?!!

If the parents bring up the children with high expectations agenda preset, then both the parent and the child are bound to be disappointed.. The ultimate expectations the parents can have is to see their children happy in whatever life they want to have and not the life they want them to have... Parent keep on expecting the child to do this and do that... The child learns to expect as well.. Finally both are disappointed..

Did my child expect to be born in the first place? Is my child asking me to go out of my way to satisfy his/her needs? If out of guilt or out of pride or out of expectations I do something and then I assume that my child understand it all for a payback?! And have him/her bound to my debts and investment their life long?! Do I give birth to them to have them live an extended life of mine which I couldn't live for my own reasons?!! Then I am in every way bound to be disappointed and be upset and love deprived.. Because I asked for it.. I had my timetable set for my kid's life calendar.. Till School days - ok timetable works if the kid is not a rebel by birth...

Till College days - Ok to some extent it would work, if the kid isn't independent yet..

If my timetable works their life long.. Then as a parent I should be ashamed of myself.. Be guilty for being the dictator of my child's life who has been handicapped for not using his/her own gifts given by nature.

I would be happy to raise a child who has a determination of her own than follow my orders obediently with no questions asked. I would be happy to raise a child who can be independent and chase her own dream than to stick to my agenda of fulfilling my dreams, against her likes... I would be happy if my child comes to me for a festival family gathering on her own amidst her busy schedule without me forcing her or binding her in the name of duty or formality... I would be a proud mother if my child calls out when I am wrong and not cover it up just because I am her mother...

Ishu had a dream.. To get a life where there is no worry for money.. Of course she has seen the worst part of life without money.. And there she set a target to reach a place where everything is achieved by money.. And began a journey to reach the target.. And money was that target.. No matter what, the target is what their focus was and the journey never was... And both Neha and Dev dread that journey because there was nothing to look forward to there.. And now have they achieved their target?! No they never will.. Till they learn to cherish the journey more than the target they never can be satisfied... Does Ishu know what her target was or is?!!

If it's all about Dev's responsibility towards the family, then wouldn't it be sensible on Ishu's part to keep the love of Dev, accepted and loved.. So that Ishu doesn't lose her son?

Is Ishu so sure that whatever she does to Sona, Dev will still support only Ishu? Is it because Dev has been giving that message to Ishu all the while? That even in a worst case scenario where every Dixit member pushes Sona to make hard decision for herself, Dev will not stand by Sona.. Because he's so blinded by the special love for his Maa.. And his actions are only proving that, keeping Ishu's confidence unaffected?! Come what may, Dev can be steered by Ishu with her emotionally troubling stories?!! Isn't there any love at all from a mother for her son, to start with?!

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sona_naksh

@sona_naksh

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Awesum post PP

I being a mother am unable to understand d mindset of isbwari ...wat she actually want is out of my wisdom

First of all m unable to understand watz dev's fault in watever neha lost in her childhoos ...it was ishwari's decision n y dev is supposed to pay for it n dat too for lyftym ...it was ishwari's call to give dev opportunities so that dey all can have luxurious lyf later and needless to say dev has earned more dan deir expectations

Ishwari is confident dat dev ll not support sona ahainst her coz dev has never said anything to ishwari ..today also dev snapped at gkb after ishwari left ..but wat ishwari is neglecting is d fact dat dev may go against her ...shez neglecting dat dev subconsciously knows dat she is competing wid sona ..dev said it in drunken state ...

N here i feel prenup ll play a major role if used properly ...prenup can make dev openly acceptdat ishwari is no God as he claims ...shez a human being wid too many flaws

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

I'll paste what I said in my other post and more inline

I have a slightly different point of view actually. This whole Neha issue has been either badly handled by the Dixits or by the story tellers. Its cart before the horse. Like you guys say, what is the point of Dev now speaking to RV when the damage is already done.

The emotional aspect of it all is all over the place. I have always felt Ishwari has a certain image of what a wife should be like and she expects the same from Sona as well as Neha(Rightly or wrongly... wont go there). Ditto for Dev & RV. If there is someone who immensely respects RV its Ishwari and Sona (and mamaji!). From Day 1 Ishwari has reminded Neha that she needs to be with RV and not compare him to Dev. However, the guilt she has over the Neha-childhood issue obviously skews her thinking and she blurts out rubbish like "Dev ki zaydad pe tum teeno beheno ka haq hai" (Dev has no zaydad.. he is founder & MD of a company and its stupidity if Ishwari and the 3 sisters don't have an equal %age shares in that company).

Anyways, so, HM issue aside, this Neha track is odd. Why would Ishwari not ask Dev to talk to RV has confused me for days now. Why would Ishwari not call RV's mum? Ishwari wanted Sona & Dev to split. She doesnt want RV-Neha to split. And using her uber-manipulation powers she could easily have convinced Dev to do whatever it takes to convince RV. In the past she asked Dev to stay away from RV because Dev offered him financial help wihch Ish knows RV wont take. Now its different.. Its do-or-die

As for Sona.. humm... Her intentions weren't wrong, however, she probably didnt need to take the bull by the horn. I bit of sound boarding with Dev/Riya would have probably helped.

Neha was always going to split with RV. Unless Dev can use his super-powers like he did with Dr Bose, I dont see how Neha will ever return to RV.

In the initial episodes we had seen that mamiji had a soft corner for Neha. I dont know how genuine her love for Neha is, however, she had quite rightly reminded Neha about the 2 conditions she had which she hadnt discussed with RV.

Cart before the horse here...

Originally posted by: Push-pull

Is Ishu so sure that whatever she does to Sona, Dev will still support only Ishu? Is it because Dev has been giving that message to Ishu all the while? That even in a worst case scenario where every Dixit member pushes Sona to make hard decision for herself, Dev will not stand by Sona.. Because he's so blinded by the special love for his Maa.. And his actions are only proving that, keeping Ishu's confidence unaffected?! Come what may, Dev can be steered by Ishu with her emotionally troubling stories?!! Isn't there any love at all from a mother for her son, to start with?!

No, not anymore. Dev has started etching the boundary now. Family members now know they cant separate the pair. Not so much because they think Dev has changed. But because they have started to realise what a gem of a wife Dev has got.

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: sona_naksh
Awesum post PP
I being a mother am unable to understand d mindset of isbwari ...wat she actually want is out of my wisdom
First of all m unable to understand watz dev's fault in watever neha lost in her childhoos ...it was ishwari's decision n y dev is supposed to pay for it n dat too for lyftym ...it was ishwari's call to give dev opportunities so that dey all can have luxurious lyf later and needless to say dev has earned more dan deir expectations

Ishwari is confident dat dev ll not support sona ahainst her coz dev has never said anything to ishwari ..today also dev snapped at gkb after ishwari left ..but wat ishwari is neglecting is d fact dat dev may go against her ...shez neglecting dat dev subconsciously knows dat she is competing wid sona ..dev said it in drunken state ...
N here i feel prenup ll play a major role if used properly ...prenup can make dev openly acceptdat ishwari is no God as he claims ...shez a human being wid too many flaws

I can understand if Ishu's expectations from Dev are in the form of the financial assets only.. There are parents who expects material returns for the expenses spent on their kids.. They sell everything that they have and expect the kid to pay back for the same.. Here is Ishu expecting financial returns only for the energy and efforts she invested in Dev? If that's the case then did she use love as her bait to get Dev do things for her?! I couldn't get the point where she appeared to be too possessive and disturbed when she found someone else coming in between the mom-son love?! Or is it someone else coming in between to take away the material benefit that Dev brings in for them?! Does that mean there was no love to be lost between the mom-son duo?! Was the mom-son love too a bubble that they have created for themselves like the bubble about mom-son understanding?!

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randommusings

@randommusings

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Neha blames Ish for all the problems of her life n rightly so. Ish deserves to hear all of this. But wat Ish again did wrong was, when she went n spoke with Dev, she mentioned that Neha blames us (as in Ish n Dev) whereas Neha, atleast today, didn't blame Dev. Ish is passing on her guilt to Dev, and Dev like a devoted son just wants to fulfill his mother's wishes. Why Dev needs Ish's permission to talk to her own sister specially in a situation like this.

Dev knows Sona is right but he just can't ignore Ish's POV. If Ish really wants to unite Neha n Ranveer, why did she wait for so long? N now she knows Neha is doing everything n anger, why is she accepting Neha's decision to divorce Ranveer. Why is she not trying harder to make these two talk. Sometimes it feels as if Neha is doing all this to punish Ish

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen
I'll paste what I said in my other post and more inline

I have a slightly different point of view actually. This whole Neha issue has been either badly handled by the Dixits or by the story tellers. Its cart before the horse. Like you guys say, what is the point of Dev now speaking to RV when the damage is already done.
The emotional aspect of it all is all over the place. I have always felt Ishwari has a certain image of what a wife should be like and she expects the same from Sona as well as Neha(Rightly or wrongly... wont go there). Ditto for Dev & RV. If there is someone who immensely respects RV its Ishwari and Sona (and mamaji!). From Day 1 Ishwari has reminded Neha that she needs to be with RV and not compare him to Dev. However, the guilt she has over the Neha-childhood issue obviously skews her thinking and she blurts out rubbish like "Dev ki zaydad pe tum teeno beheno ka haq hai" (Dev has no zaydad.. he is founder & MD of a company and its stupidity if Ishwari and the 3 sisters don't have an equal %age shares in that company).

Anyways, so, HM issue aside, this Neha track is odd. Why would Ishwari not ask Dev to talk to RV has confused me for days now. Why would Ishwari not call RV's mum? Ishwari wanted Sona & Dev to split. She doesnt want RV-Neha to split. And using her uber-manipulation powers she could easily have convinced Dev to do whatever it takes to convince RV. In the past she asked Dev to stay away from RV because Dev offered him financial help wihch Ish knows RV wont take. Now its different.. Its do-or-die

As for Sona.. humm... Her intentions weren't wrong, however, she probably didnt need to take the bull by the horn. I bit of sound boarding with Dev/Riya would have probably helped.

Neha was always going to split with RV. Unless Dev can use his super-powers like he did with Dr Bose, I dont see how Neha will ever return to RV.

In the initial episodes we had seen that mamiji had a soft corner for Neha. I dont know how genuine her love for Neha is, however, she had quite rightly reminded Neha about the 2 conditions she had which she hadnt discussed with RV.

Cart before the horse here...

I can't say that I understood your point here.. What's Ishu expecting in all this Neha's thing??.. Just to leave it as is so that Neha will start loving Ishu because she's supporting her decisions?! And thus get her past wrongdoings forgiven and forgotten? Keeping Neha happy means getting Neha on her side to be the best mother for her thus getting her status redeemed in Neha's eyes? Or to get Dev busy in the family responsibility always without changing for better? Or to make Dev miss her love now giving the focus to Neha?!

I have no concerns about Neha not being happy at her newfound lovelife.. Because from the beginning her expectations were clear and Ranveer appeared to be aware of it but must have taken it lightly thinking she would change.. Not sure whether the couple had given enough understanding for each others needs...

! In all this if only Neha misses the love in her life will she be able to miss Ranveer.. Did she ever wanted that love?! Would she have been happy getting married to a rich person without much love in that relationship?! Just enjoying the riches always?! What does Ishuuu mean by saying that nobody understands her daughter like she does.. Is she repeating the same what she was doing with Dev earlier to win Neha's love now?! And to become important in her kids' lives all over again?!

And about Dev.. No I don't have much hopes on him when it comes to Sona.. He would be crying to let go off Sona but will still do it if Ishu puts her emotional face in front of him.. Now Neha added to that.. So Dev can only wash off Sona more easily because he strongly believes that he is nothing without his mother's love and his sister's sacrifices.. I really hope he gets to give up everything that he has in the present as a return gift to whatever he had received in his past.. And start a new life in his present with what he has found for himself - Sona.. He need not achieve big but he can have a beautiful journey to go through , cherishing beautiful memories for his future..

Edited by Push-pull - 8 years ago

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Push-pull

@Push-pull

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: randommusings

Sometimes it feels as if Neha is doing all this to punish Ish

I don't know why I have a feeling that Neha has put some condition to Ranveer about them being husband and wife (meaning nothing 😉happened between them till now), only after getting their own house.. And Ranveer not focusing on that appears like he doesn't love her as much to try something to show how much he wants her😉.. And Ranveer could be thinking otherwise.. what say?!

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mena_k

@mena_k

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

A parents duty is not only to fulfil the needs of a child in terms of food and shelter but also to provide them with the right developmental guidance which would help them as they grow older. It is also important to correct them when they mistakenly take a wrong path. The way a parent teaches a child is different when they are younger than when they grow old. It comes to a more sit and explain kind of technique when a child becomes an adult. Putting ones fault on someone else is definitely not good parenting. Finally love is above all the materialistic needs for a child what a parent gives as they are growing. A child deprived of basic need of love from his/her parent can never understand the true significance and value of love as an adult.

Ishwari had deprived that basic love to Neha as a child and continued the same as an adult. She was never seen close to any of her daughters. Certainly time was not a factor nor was she putting any struggle to help fulfil her family's need since they all are doing well due to Dev's hard work.

She put all her time, love, money in Dev as she considered him the saviour from poverty for her family (directly shows biased culture, value of son over daughters). Over time the love she had for her son (8 yr old) had slowly transformed into a obsession to control his life. Her emotional needs had grown so strong in all these years that she had created an illusional world around herself in which Dev's happiness lies only being with her. She had considered even her daughters as a threat to her imaginary world where she and Dev live happily ever after forever. Does she still love Dev, can't say for sure. But whatever she does or has been doing till date was pretty much her way of saving that imaginary world of hers, where she is the only love Dev has. Yes she needs professional help for her to reconnect with the real world that she lives in.

Agreeing to Neha's decision to divorce even without understanding the situation is yet another example of her bad parenting. She snatched away the love and care Neha needed as a child and now she is snatching her ability to rationally think for it all goes in her benefit to make a support team against Sona. Does she care for Neha, not at all.

Her coming and putting the blame on Dev of something which she only is responsible was her tactics to make Dev guilty. If only Dev had an logical thinking ability grown he would have understood, Ishwari is wrongly accusing him of what he had not right or control over.

I don't see why someone from a family would hesitate to talk to ones own family member and would rather go talk to the other person in order to solve a problem. The problem was never Ranveer, like he said, he didn't hide anything from Neha before marriage. She agreed knowing all, n now she is accusing him of snatching her luxurious life and taking her to a small home was absurd. Only dixit elders can hear and support such bullshit. Hypocrisy and double standard runs in the entire dixit family to its maximum.

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Pehchaan.Kaun

@Pehchaan.Kaun

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

PP - One of the best posts from you dearie. And this is exactly what I tried to ask here many times ! About the limitation of duties, expectations and affection between parents and children.

If we forget about Sona-Dev-Ishwari for a second, Neha's story would really move people. It's undoubtedly one of the most complex characters of the television, and hats off to CVs for having guts to show the dialogs mouthed from Neha. Yes, Neha's trauma is caused by Ishwari, Ishwari's crocodile tears don't move me AT ALL. A mother has to be REALLY cruel to snatch one kid of the opportunities and shower everything to another. Like I said earlier, instead of trying to have a middle-class balanced family, she was greedy enough to have an empire for herself. Neha and Dev's flawed characters are created by her obsession to have more and more money. She might come across as a simple woman in front of people like GKB, but she can afford to pretend that since she is filthy rich by now. I wonder had Dev not been able to fulfill her dreams, would she be happy ? I can't imagine her happy face with Dev and Neha going out for 9-to-5 jobs and coming back home with moderate income at the end of the month. She would still lament about her 20 yr old bankruptcy in that case.

She poisoned everyone's life for her own selfish greed. It's very unfortunate for both Dev and Neha to have taken birth from someone like Ishwari. Today's episode she says 'Till today, whatever I wanted, it happened'. And in the very next episode we will find her shit-scared of 'What if things don't happen the way I want'. Be it about money, be it about control, be it about insecurity, be it about Dev, she is NEVER happy and satisfied even though always she got what she wanted 😵. The moment she fears something is losing out of her way, she starts her cards of guilt-trips, faint-drama, old-stories, faking-gratitude games. But the bottomline is - she gets what she wants. And like a neat manipulative player, she doesn't do anything on her own to get those, she sends her trained dogs Dev and Neha in the market to get her the stuffs she wants. She is the MOST demanding and dangerous mother I have seen in Indian Tele world. And why most dangerous, because to learn her games, you have to really follow her for a significant amount of moves. The way she traps Dev in guilt and responsibility without giving him an option to choose to be in the receiving end of her so-called love and opportunities, is really nasty. And for Neha, she crosses all the limits of being the worst mother 👎🏼. Her life-struggle don't truly interest me now, I have seen my own old house-maid raising 2 kids all on her own and settling them happily, even they live in much more peaceful and balanced way than this filthy rich Dixits.

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Sargesh mehta

@Sargesh

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Yes u got it right, that is the thing I want to ask, to ishu . Parents' duty is to give to the children, if expection is there then it is a mere business nothing else. I have given u u payback to me. What type of mother is she?

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Ishu at her best form?!!

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