Dreams and Reality

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Today's Episode write up made me want to post

Every person has their own 'Dreams'. For some the reality may turn out to be just like their dreams, for others completely opposite to their dreams and for others somewhat like their dreams .

I know reality is subjective each one of us have our own version based on what we are used to, what we experience and what we think is true.

Here Sona had a beautiful fairy tale dream of finding Love once in her Life. She fell in Love with Dev maybe her ideal or not so ideal but her fairy tale and now she is married to him. Just like every woman she may have dreams of how her marriage would be , In reality not all of our dreams become reality that is life but do we sacrifice all of our dreams for a reality which is not anything remotely like our dreams ?

I know some people will say Men like Dev exist I understand and he did say he was a difficult man to live with but is that an excuse to not make any dreams of Sona come true?. A simple one of wanting an Honeymoon from her husband? Even if they were not going is that a decision that he makes on his own?

Doesnt everyone have a right to Dream? And when the reality is not remotely like our dream does one give up on our dreams? Is that Reality?

Sorry for my rambles but just the written update of todays show depressed me 😭

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NATASHA

@natasha_n

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

Very well written

I was thinking same while watching the episode...

How can he just decide to cancel the honeymoon without even talking to Sona...poor girl...feels bad for her that she is stuck in this mad Dixit clan...

I so wish Sona dumps dev and goes...just like Neha did to Ranveer and then issueworry will be happy as Dev will be equally sad as Neha

I still have one question in my head...Was it right descision of Sona to marry dev?

Only good scene was Nikki 🤣

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Shaun

@Jade0001

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Marriage should not be about giving up totally on one's dreams

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

Hugs to you. I totally get your point. I think in India, the word compromise is mixed in baby cereal and fed only to little girls until they can't see their own happiness, dreams and their own reality when they get married.

Here's my take.

Compromise is a lovely thing when both partners MUTUALLY agrees that it is the right decision to take now for their well-being or betterment of their family.

For example, say the money is a little tight this month, so they both decide to cut back on movie tickets because they have other priorities. That's compromise.

But when decision to compromise is taken by one partner without zero consideration to other partner's hopes and dreams without any regards to their own opinion, it's called TAKING ADVANTAGE.

For example, say the husband decides that the wife will be happy to cancel her long-time plans to visit her family because HE thinks that it is unnecessary. So he just goes online and cancels the flight tickets without any discussion with his wife who was really looking forward to this. P.S. there's no issue of money here. But their cat ran away and now everyone needs to mourn his leaving.

See the difference?

Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Thanks for the Hugs I needed it

Originally posted by: tia.o
Hugs to you. I totally get your point. I think in India, the word compromise is mixed in baby cereal and fed only to little girls until they can't see their own happiness, dreams and their own reality when they get married.
I am struggling with this. I am old enough to understand that all of the dreams may not turn to reality or we may have a different flavor of your dreams turning to reality but what I am not able to come to terms with is should we actually give up all our dreams because of 'compromise'. What is the exact interpretation of the term in terms of a relationship like marriage. Does this term have a gender bias? and if so why? .Does economics play a role? and if so does that apply even now when some women make more money than their spouses or even more successful than them. This whole depiction of a Hero who because he is a mamma's boy ..(a lot of men to some extent are) having total disregard for a wife that he claims to love stuns me and saddens me too.

Here's my take.

Compromise is a lovely thing when both partners MUTUALLY agrees that it is the right decision to take now for their well-being or betterment of their family.

For example, say the money is a little tight this month, so they both decide to cut back on movie tickets because they have other priorities. That's compromise.

But when decision to compromise is taken by one partner without zero consideration to other partner's hopes and dreams without any regards to their own opinion, it's called TAKING ADVANTAGE.

Amen to the words in Bold . People take advantage as long as we allow them to. Most times we do need to stand up for ourselves because nobody I mean NOBODY will stand up for you as much as you would

For example, say the husband decides that the wife will be happy to cancel her long-time plans to visit her family because HE thinks that it is unnecessary. So he just goes online and cancels the flight tickets without any discussion with his wife who was really looking forward to this. P.S. there's no issue of money here. But their cat ran away and now everyone needs to mourn his leaving.

See the difference?

I do see the difference and realize my idea of reality in a marriage is very far removed than what is shown.

Edited by gemini54 - 8 years ago

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rose4ever

@rose4ever

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

This reality has become a nightmare for Sonakshi and the worst part Dev doesn't even see it.He is taking her for granted and expecting her to forget about her happiness just like he has.He can't see his mother's or sister's pain but making his wife unhappy is fine?Taking decisions that affect her without discussing with her is fine?

So for every small problem,Sonakshi will also be expected to compromise.And with Ishwari's presence,problems are never going to end.

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lavanya

@dlavanya

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

Nice post... True..some dreams cant turn into reality..

I understand under all circumstances , husband and wife should take decisions together...
But many couple fail following this rule early on in their relationship and immediately after marriage for multiple reasons - in this particular case it is due to Ishwari occupying majority of that decision making partner in Dev's life.

I hope he learns soon that now that he has married, he can take his mom's suggestions but ultimately it should be his and sona's decision - especially when it impacts them both..

I saw both Dev and Sona failing in doing so..but hopefully soon..we get to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

Like you said Gemini, whether you are taken advantage of or not, depends on the person who is being taken advantage of. If you don't let it happen, it won't happen.

You see advantages can be taken by cajoling, not by force. So if you don't give into the demand, you won't be made fool of... As simple as that.

First step: Recognise that you are being taken advantage of.

Second step: Stand your ground and refuse to budge no matter what people say.

Third step: Make sure they understand that you have seen through their ploy so that it doesn't get repeated without consequences.

But if you keep letting other take advantage of your indulgent nature and in fact reward them for that, then man or woman, you have sealed your fate.

You know the saying, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me? That is very applicable here.

Originally posted by: gemini54
Thanks for the Hugs I needed it

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: dlavanya
Nice post... True..some dreams cant turn into reality..

I understand under all circumstances , husband and wife should take decisions together...
But many couple fail following this rule early on in their relationship and immediately after marriage for multiple reasons - in this particular case it is due to Ishwari occupying majority of that decision making partner in Dev's life.

I hope he learns soon that now that he has married, he can take his mom's suggestions but ultimately it should be his and sona's decision - especially when it impacts them both..

I saw both Dev and Sona failing in doing so..but hopefully soon..we get to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks for replying here it is not even about not taking the decisions together but the sensitivity of the subject. This was not shall we buy this fridge, or shall we go to the movies or what shall I cook, or something else this was a Honeymoon which is very personal and involves two people and two people only and in a very intimate level and that is what I am not able to understand.

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randommusings

@randommusings

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

We are going on in an endless loop. Ish makes Dev feel guilty, Dev takes an impulsive decision instead of finding a resolution, Dev hurts Sona, Sona feels bad, Dev apologises n Sona forgives him without any question asked. And this continues till the next time when Dev n Sona are happy n Ishwari is jealous and insecured.

Dev has been conditioned to live with Ish's manipulations n Neha's caustic remarks n so he can only frel guilt n can't think anything on his own. It was Ishwari's mistake that she didn't give equal chances to Dev n Neha. Why everytime Dev has to prove his love for his family. I understand he feels bad for Neha n wants to postpone his honeymoon...he can very well afford to cancel international trip (most of us can't)..but he shud do it to resolve Neha's problem, and not bcoz he is guilt ridden abt Neha marital issues.

N he saw how much Sona was excited about this trip, why can't he discuss this with Sona first..she is so understanding, she wud nvr object if Dev wants to resolve Neha's issues first. But he completely ignores her happiness to cater to the whims n fancies of his god like mother n sisters. How wud Sona feel when she gets to know after everyone that her HM is cancel n how wud her parents react who has come to see off the newly wed couple.

But wat surprises me most is the fact that both Dev n Sona already knows abt Ish insecurities. After breakup, when Sona goes to meet Ish, she says she is not playing a game 'Dev kiska jyada hai'. So Sona knows Ish competes with her for Dev's affection. N during drunken state even Dev asks Ish 'tu jaanna chahti hai na main kisse jyada pyar karta hun'. So even Dev knows the reason Ish hates Sona...so after so many incidents post marriage, why these two can't figure out what's the real problem with Ish. Atleast Sona shud start noticing it by now since on wedding night itself she realised Ish nvr wholeheartedly accepted her as DIL.

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