Dear Elena - Let's be 'Modern' - Page 2

Originally posted by: rose4ever

Brilliant post and point well made👏

That scene made me feel the same way.Dev stated something very important today

The line between fun and disrespect/misbehavior should not be blurred and crossed.

Exactly. Certain Lines need to be drawn and defined

In fact, GKB's comment is a very ugly but true reflection of our society. The girl is blamed for everything.Really brought to my mind the comments people make-"She was asking for it"

Look at the irony...The victim here is made the culprit. No remorse on those faces ..No conscience ..No guilty conscious

Here as well,as per GKB, by dancing and having fun, Elena was asking for it.And on top of that, she provokes him further to take revenge. Instead of discouraging the behavior, she encourages it. Isn't that the reality as well so many times?Parents defending their sons instead of teaching them a lesson and giving them the punishment they deserve.

Parents need to teach their sons about consent instead of teaching their daughters how to dress.This change is happening but too slowly.

Absolutely right!..I mentioned the same in my episode dissection post today

Right Parenting ...In this case...the father is ignorant or just vocal at times, the mother on the other hand is full of ego with her Sabakh sikha isko kind of statement. Do I blame the son? Not really..

Yes, it is guys like Vicky who never understand the meaning of the word "No"And if they can't understand with words, then they need to be taught with actions.As you said, the more their actions are ignored or remain hidden from everyone by the girls, the more they are encouraged.

Love the pic you shared.Girls need to stand up for themselves and when required kick some a**,

This pic has been my favorite since years now. Each and every word it has is me.

I want to be positive and look at good things but that doesn't mean I will take s**t from anyone or be ignorant.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind but an closing your eyes doesn't stop the world from doing what it does. Only your world changes.

Originally posted by: randommusings

Great post. I was shocked to see Mama not scolding Vicki. N Mami openly supporting Vicki as if there was nothing wrong in that and Ish thinks this is just a small nokjhok between bride and groom's side 😡 disgusting to the core.

I guess Ishu and Mamaji saw Dev had taken the matter in his hands and was dealing it tactfully. Both probably didn't want a bigger scene to be created for it was a wedding function. I don't have an issue with that. I'll give them benefit of doubt for once. Also, You don't need to go down to one's level to explain him things. But at the same time, I expect them to deal with things once the wedding is over.

Yes major part of the problem is parents and upbringing. They do not teach boys to respect women or to stop when woman says no. Such boys take No as a challenge. Their families do not question what they do when they roam around with friends. Girls are expected to come home early whereas no restriction whatsoever on boys. These boys see women being mistreated, humiliated, disrespected in their own family and they feel that is how women should be treated in general.

@ Bold 1 - ...Challenge and these days people have ego over small things. No one has patience, not even the parents in most cases. What will they teach the child? We all know the importance of right parenting and a teacher. But how many good examples we have left, sadly very few.

@ Bold 2 - This is the real problem. I want to accept that I have seen this in my own family and around. A woman who is a housewife, a mother, a wife. I say housewife and not a homemaker and I say that first and then a mother or wife because of obvious reasons known to almost all. She's treated like a personal property, a toy as the makers stated. I blame woman more for this, coz its a woman who is an woman's real enemy and her own too, depending on her role. If we are setting wrong examples for children, what more do we expect. How can they find problem in the child when he took what their actions taught him?

Radharani never stopped him even when she knows what Vicki does outside. Also Sona and Elena never told anyone before so Vicki does it again and again. Sona should have told Ishwari or Dev. Atleast now that Sona is marrying Dev, she shold tell him what disgusting things Vicki had said to her. What will she do if she is alone at home with Vicki.

Yes

Even Nicki and Riya were dancing so does that mean any guy can come and misbehave with them. Will that be okay?? In typical Indian marriages, groom side always feel they are entitled, superior to bride's family and ready to throw insults at bride's family.

CVs have build up this Vicki track for long now..n yes something big will again happen leading to Vicki being thrown out of the house.

I don't think throwing him out of the house is a solution. He will be a bigger threat as his ego will reach sky level and he will have more girls outside "asking for it"

Originally posted by: gemini54

Beautiful post and pertinent questions

Parenting is serious business being a parent myself I know it because not only am I a parent but I am a parent of two grown boys/men

I Liked how you said that. 👏

When we as a society have double standards when it comes to how we raise daughters versus Sons and also have two separate rules of how they should act then we get people like mamiji thinking it is ok for Vicki to act they way he did and also encourage him to act like that in the future because

A. Elena asked for it t because she danced a certain way or dressed a certain way

B. Sona asked for it because she voiced it out.

++ we tweek the rules as per our whims and fancies

It is about time we teach our Sons that No is a No and teach Daughters that being 'modern' is not the way you dress but the way you think

++ Its also time we show them this through our own actions. Kids observe things like no adult can.

Originally posted by: deepsel

I hear you Girl loud and clear !!👏 Thank you for voicing out one of the sensitive and always whitewashed topic !!

Frankly I was irked to see GKB instigating Vicky as if it was no fault of his..hell what can we except from her and from this society which teaches boys "Its shame to cry" instead of "Its shameful to make a girl cry".

@Bold : 👏👏 Deeps your words always reflect very clear thoughts

A thick skulled spoiled brat kids like Vicky can't understand or even willing to understand the meaning of "NO" can go to any heights especially if they have such senseless guidance. I wanted to see if GKB would have tolerated if she had a girl and she was in Elena's place, or even with Ria or Nicky for that matter.

@ Bold: Here u go again..."Guide"👏. For only a guide can tell you the right direction. If you are on one, half the things are as it is solved.

You know Deeps, God is very kind most of the times (Acc. to me). He doesn't bless such people with a daughter for they don't know how to raise one. But at the same time, the irony is, since they haven't been blessed with one, they don't know value of having one.

Even disappointed with Mamaji for keeping quite. its his son who misbehaved and he have every right to chuck him out than anyone.

Yes, I expect him to do that. I have mentioned that in my views in the episode dissection post. He is like a father to the good boy like Dev. But you can't neglect the bad one, especially knowing your wife's attitude. His own son should be his priority. For no matter how good he is in everything else, one wrong act of his son will washout all the good deeds.

Yes as you said, that was not the time and place to stir that problem bigger but they should deal it in future without bypassing this as another prank. A girls's respect was tarnished in front of all and I hope CVs take a stand in a much serious way for this. It doesn't matter whether she is a "Modern asankaari" or a "bowedhead sankaari" whats wrong is wrong. period!

Oh Yes, it doesn't matter what name you give or whether you give or not as long as your doing the right things. Radha Rani's title "Bangali machhli" won't define Elena, but certainly reflect her own character.

Originally posted by: Shaavi

I was surprised that mamaji also said nothing. I mean his son misbehaves with a girl and as a father, he does not even say he is wrong or apologize. 😡

I really expect him to do something about it

This reminds me of a story i read long ago. There was a thief. One day while stealing he was caught and taken to kings court. There the king ordered the thief to be hanged in the town square. When the guards were taking him there, they saw a woman crying. The thief told the guards that she was his mom and wanted to give her one last hug. The guards said ok.

But the thief actually slapped the woman. When asked why, he said the first time i stole, you did not correct me but were happy that i stole. Because you did not tell me the right from wrong that day, i am being hanged today. I am like this because of you.

Nice Story..I wonder how many people today realize it even in their last moments. Even devils like Raavan and Kans and others of their kind realized in their last moment they were wrong. Sadly, we are in "Kalyug".

I sure hope what Vicky did or doing will come to bite him back in the a**... 😡 🤢

It surely will. Karma has no menu, you get served what you deserve.

Originally posted by: Aazeen02

I live in a kind of joint family, and I, my elder sister and my cousin brother grew up together like siblings.
Since, I and my cousin brother have an age gap of a few months, we were hard to handle together. Fighting was a primary thing, he being the boy was more aggressive, I being a girl was a LITTLE subdued, not like I would take it like a door mat, but more because, he was out of my league swift in saving himself from me giving it back to him.

As we grow into adolescence, we grow a little conscious of ourselves and even with brother and sisters we try not to misbehave in any inappropriate manner. I understood this, but not my brother, he would continue with all his childish things that would go to hitting once in a while(just like siblings do).

We would fight so often that both our mothers were fed up of us being together. And I eventually had learned to deal with it instead of complaining to our mothers. (His mother used to take my side and my mother his, so that the thought of siding with one's own children doesn't pop up)

I was somewhere in my mid teens, (he too was) when one day my mother found me sitting in one corner of the house, and I was kind of hiding my tears from my mother. But moms are moms, you cannot hide anything from them. And she caught me and literally cajoled me to tell what was wrong.

I had to eventually tell her that my brother had hit me, and I was hurt (both physically as well emotionally since it was my teenage and I used to get very emotional).

That was the only time when my mother went to my brother and literally lovingly explained him that you brother and sisters love each other so much that you guys spend the entire day with each other, teasing, manaaoing and what not... All is fine until it is verbal, don't get to hitting her beta, she is your younger sister...

This was until it was my mother's turn to explain. But when his mother came to know that he has been hitting me, she literally took her slipper in her hand and gave him good ones, saying how dare you hit her daughter (my aunt called me her daughter). She literally made it clear once and for all that if you can't respect your sisters, better stay away from females, but dare you do stuffs like this ever again...

That was the day, today is another day a decade after this incident. That guy, my brother, is a through and through gentleman at this point. We have seen him transform. Only because HIS mother didn't take the shit he was doing... She brought him on the right track...

I and my brother still fight, like maniacs, coz we just can't digest our food until we fight 😆, but it remains to nok jhok, and all stupid stuffs.

It is not just the duty of a girl's parents to keep protecting their daughter. It is the duty of the boy's family too, to make their sons learn to keep their excess sight away from making the girls insecure. Once they are not insecure, they will themselves look protected..

Aur rahi baat Vicky ki, toh beta, give it a try and cross the LOC of your decency, your own dear bade Bhaiyya is going to throw you and your useless mother out of this house, to a facility free home called prison, and you will know what exactly it is to show a girl their aukaad, when you yourself are no better than a gutter infested insect...