2 different things (Dev's dilemma)

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

A thought struck me. Many people can't wait to fall in love , have a fairy tale romance and a wonderful wedding. And some really want a family, like children. Some really like children, and want many of them.

Dev really loves Sona and can't bear to live without her. But he now discovers he can't have children of his own. Isn't that as upsetting to him as it would Sona?

We know she would be devastated when she finds out. So why can't Dev be devastated also. Couples stick together during this very sad time, seek options, keep trying (IVF, fertility treatments) and then try other options i.e. surrogacy, adoption.

I can imagine Dev feeling happy he's marrying Sona. But I can also understand his sadness that he can never be a father. (He has never been very good with medical problems so he might be brought around with a specialist second opinion, fertility specialists etc.)

If he talks about it to a trusted person, they might think of the next steps. give encouragement. I'm hoping the doctor who told him and used that unfortunate "inhospitable" word gave him some options.

My advice to all ladies grappling with gynaecological issues, trust me a real life doctor would never use such a damning word in event of a infertility issue. Pakka. Plus a whole battery of tests have to be done before you give people news that they can't have kids.

So I feel bad that Dev is grieving his inability to have children, it's his grief as much as hers. But he went on with giving her a wonderful wedding. it's sad that CVs thought making Dev miserable at his own wedding was good tv.

Some feel good may go a long way CVs...

Edited by AnnzSageflower7 - 8 years ago

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ssimmy

@ssimmy

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

This sudden infertility issue didn't make sense to me actually. If Sonakshi was suffering with her reproductive health, she definitely would have had some symptoms sometime before in her life. Her stomach hurt, she went for a normal visit, and the doctor suddenly drops a bomb on Dev. No additional testing, no asking of Sonakshi whatsoever whether she wanted to keep this information private (which ideally should happen).

I understand the CV's want to show that Dev is "sacrificing" his own happiness and is keeping it to himself for Sonakshi to have a happy marriage, but it just seems entirely selfish from his side. When Sonakshi actually finds out, she'll probably be more upset of the fact that Dev hid such a big issue from her.

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: ssimmy
This sudden infertility issue didn't make sense to me actually. If Sonakshi was suffering with her reproductive health, she definitely would have had some symptoms sometime before in her life. Her stomach hurt, she went for a normal visit, and the doctor suddenly drops a bomb on Dev. No additional testing, no asking of Sonakshi whatsoever whether she wanted to keep this information private (which ideally should happen).

I understand the CV's want to show that Dev is "sacrificing" his own happiness and is keeping it to himself for Sonakshi to have a happy marriage, but it just seems entirely selfish from his side. When Sonakshi actually finds out, she'll probably be more upset of the fact that Dev hid such a big issue from her.

exactly.. but i wouldn't use the word selfish on him. misguided sense of sacrifice 😆 , don't think there's a word for that.

there's a lot of conflicting emotions coming ahead for Sonakshi and Dev just took some of them away from her by keeping the secret. I know how i would personally feel but I dunno what CVs would plan for Sonakshi.

Some honest questions :

1. If I cant have children, how can I decide for Dev not to have them as well? And the only time I can do something about it is before we are married?

2. My mother in law can't have grandchildren of her own. is she ok with it? I know she won't be ok with it. And she and her bhabhi will be unpleasant about it. Do i deserve it ?

I may be defeatist in my stance, but I would remove myself from this engagement, get to my gynaecologist myself and find out more about my options.

but its only Sangeet ceremony going on. Still time yet for wedding. let's see how it goes..!

Edited by AnnzSageflower7 - 8 years ago

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sona_naksh

@sona_naksh

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

agree wid u
it may b d case dat if sona comes to know abt d issue she may back off from marriage which dev definitely doesnt want
dev is sad coz it is a very big deal and i know how much doctor's word xan affect a person ...doc one statement dat u cant b parents has d ability to break u and i m speaking dis frm my personal experience

and another thing adding to his sadness is d fact dat he is hiding all this from sona n his maa

he ll come around in some time n ll b a pillar for sona but he needs dis tym

i agree sona has a right to know but if she comes to know abt it now she ll not get married to dev wich may b a reason dev is hidibg it frm sona

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Anisa

@AnnzSageflower7

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: sona_naksh
agree wid u
it may b d case dat if sona comes to know abt d issue she may back off from marriage which dev definitely doesnt want
dev is sad coz it is a very big deal and i know how much doctor's word xan affect a person ...doc one statement dat u cant b parents has d ability to break u and i m speaking dis frm my personal experience

and another thing adding to his sadness is d fact dat he is hiding all this from sona n his maa

he ll come around in some time n ll b a pillar for sona but he needs dis tym

i agree sona has a right to know but if she comes to know abt it now she ll not get married to dev wich may b a reason dev is hidibg it frm sona

agreed! it's a complicated issue. If Dev can put it aside and marry her anyway, surely she deserves to know.

But its hard for him too. he didn't need to do it by himself. She always says "we'll do everything together..."