Dr Sonakshi Bose is strong. Strong enough to withstand the ruthless break-up of her first love. Strong enough to catch her lover's collar and say - you can't do this to me. You don't deserve my love, Mr Dixit. You don't deserve me. A woman strong enough to slip on her professional persona and walk in front of the woman who was the reason for her heart break to hand over the case file and her resignation. A woman strong enough to walk into her ex-boyfriend's house just to make sure he was doing alright, face the insults and with head held high, say the words that no one else would DARE to utter. Aaj agar aap jeet bhi gayi, toh haare sirf Dev.
She is the woman who could ignore her broken heart because she wanted to see her parents smile again. Be happy again. Be proud of her. She lost the confidence on herself. On her decision making abilities. She accepted that and left it to her parents to decide for her. If her parents thought it was time for her to marry, fine. That's what she would do. If her baba thought marriage is the fastest way to heal the wounds of her heart, then that's the route she would take. But she refused to hide herself. Hide her past under the cloak of "moving on". She faced the guy her parents wanted her to marry and tell him about her break up. No subterfuge. No sugarcoating. I have not recovered from the break up. It will take time and I can't do it alone. I will need your help.
She is the woman who broke and fell apart on the inside every time the love of her life came in front of her. Refusing to let her go yet, refusing to hold her hand. But she never let him see that. Not once. Instead, she channeled all that pain and turned it into fury. Grow up, Mr Dixit. This is called stalking. You can't do this. I am nothing to you anymore. I trust Ritwik. He would never hurt me the way you have. Promise me that you won't meet me ever again. She was uttering those words to him and to herself. Forcing her heart to accept the truth. Smothering the hope that rose to surface every single time her phone rang or a car honked. It's over. It's over. It's over. She kept chanting it like a mantra.
But that strength broke. The buildup for it was there. Just as the buildup was there for Dev getting drunk.
1. He came to her engagement.
2. His tear glazed eyes.
3. His inability to look away from her.
4. The stark pain and the resigned acceptance on his face.
5. Every peg of scotch he kept swallowing.
6. Every slurred truthful word out of his alcohol-hazed mind.
She withstood all these blows. She remained strong. For her parents. For the man she had promised to marry. For herself. But when he crashed to the floor...her knees gave out. She crashed right along with him. Her priorities, her determination, her strength...all got knocked out of her in the blink of an eye.
She brought him home. She took care of him. She cried when he cried and wiped his tears uncaring of her own. Her grip around his hand tightened just as his tightened around hers. Through it all, she was not a daughter. Not a sister. Not a fianc. Just a woman. A woman madly in love with her man. Strong enough to withstand anything and everything but not strong enough to see her man fall apart in front of her eyes. He needed her. She couldn't NOT be with him. And she stayed.
Stayed until he uttered the words that brought her back to reality with a resounding THUD!! Meri family. Mere responsibilities. Meri zimmedaariyaan!! Family. Responsibility. Her family. The dots quickly formed and joined, taking shape. She heard her dada calling out to her. She saw herself. As the world saw her. As her parents saw her. As Ritwik and his family saw her. A woman who had run away from her engagement to take care of her drunk ex-lover. She still loved the guy who stole and later trampled her heart. She was absolutely nowhere close to moving on and away from him. The hard, bitter truth.
She was in love with a guy who refused to stand and fight for their love. She was in love with a guy who kicked her out of his life at the first sign of a hurdle. She was in love with a guy who never cared what he was putting her and her family through but expected her to accept the fact that his mother was his God.
Wipe your tears Sonakshi Bose. No one deserves your tears. And the one who deserves them, would never make you cry. So wipe them. Pick yourself up. Stand up. Stand tall.
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