Tumko Na Bhool Payenge
India, 1899
Arohi woke to the sound of bells clanging in the distance. Groggily, she began to try to go back to sleep, but then she recognized what the bells signified, and woke abruptly. Promptly, she walked quickly to the balcony, putting on a sheer orange robe, her mane of black waves of hair blew back from her hurried walk, and began to blow as she received the wind from the open balcony doors.
She looked off into the distance, trying to spot the reason for the constantly clanging bells. Then she found her source: a building of in the distance she recognized immediately.
"Arjun." She breathed, her mind now twisting and turning, he eyes going blurry, her heart screaming to run to the fire. It was where he lived. Where those of his society lived. The building they used.
Since the English had been inhabiting India, many of the Indian nobility had lost there wealth to them. Luckily, her family had long done business with them, and they hadn't been affected to much. Supposedly they were loyal to the crown.
But she had met Arjun. A boy, a man, a person, a stranger, and he had shown her what it had done to others. He had changed her world. While it was forbidden for her to see him, he was a lower cast, and he was not nobility, she found herself drawn curiously into his cause. He was one of the rebels, he was low ranking among them, but that itself was truly high in today's world. Only few were chosen for this rebellion.
And only few would survive. If the building is being burned, the English had found out, one of their British spies perhaps. And Arjun was... no. She would not let herself think that. He would return to her. He always did.
Even so, she found herself repeating this over and over again in her mind. She could no longer sleep. She would not let herself cry, but she couldn't just pretend that nothing happened. Looking upon the clock, it read 2:00. She began to pace, waiting for Dawn. Then she would hear proper news. She looked around her room for something to do,
Her walls were covered with various sheer colored cloths. The floor was a white marble, and a Persian rug lay under her large oak bed with dark red curtains around it. There was a closet near her bed, containing all her gowns, and sarongs, and other clothing. Next to the closet was a screen to change behind, and next to that was a vanity, where her mirror, and other things lay. And near her balcony, there was a long cushioned chair.
The room was filled with other things, paintings, a few unfinished sewing objects, a bookshelf, and other various items. She walked over to the bookshelf, deciding to read to try to past the time.
She busied herself with trying to memorize the theorems of Newton, as she always found studying calming in a way.
Suddenly, at half past three, there is a sharp knock at the door, followed by it swiftly opening and closing, to reveal the body of a half man, half boy. His chest is bare, and there are burnt marks all over him. His black falls loosely to his shoulders, his black coal eyes weary, uncertain, darting here and there.
It is such a relief to her, she almost cries out in joy, but she doesn't wish to notify one of the maids that she has a half naked male, unaccompanied, in the mid of the night. To be discovered in such a way would disgrace both her and her family.
So instead, she runs to Arjun, hugging him. "Arjun." She sighs. He gasps painfully, and she immediately withdraws. "Your hurt." Thinking quickly, she dashes out of the room. "Stay here." She whispers, and when she returns, has a medical kit in her hands.
They walk quietly to the chair overlooking the scene from the balcony. Silently, she begins dressing the wound. Silence, at the moment, spoke louder than words ever could When she was done, and put the last bandage box in the kit, closing it, he turned.
"Arohi ." He whispered softly. She avoids his gaze, trying to focus on her task of organizing the box right. "Arohi ." He says his voice a bit sterner. He gently lifts her chin, and she's face to face with him.
Directly looking into his eyes, ones that searched hers. That offered a calmness, a safety. "Arohi , I am both fine, and alive. A few of our good men escaped. We've scattered for the night." Her eyes began to get blurry again. She turned away, ashamed of her tears. He touches her shoulder.
"Jaan yahhan aao." He whispers. She recognizes the words, she turns into him, and sobs silently. She doesn't notice, but two silent tears escape his eyes as well.
When they finally stop, she notices Arjun's weary eyes. "Sleep." She whispers, leading him to rest upon the couch. "This is your sanctuary. Rest here. I will watch over you." He seems comforted by this, and rests.
Now that he is here, resting, in her sight, she is much more comforted, and can now over look the city, and relax. At about five, he wakes, as if from a very peaceful dream. He walks over to where she watches the smoke still rising.
"Arohi ." He says in a low voice. Startled, she turns. He rests two hands on her upper arms. "I'm to leave at dawn." He says gravely.
She stares at him puzzled. "Why do you announce this as if it is your burial?" She says, smiling and shaking her head. He closes his eyes briefly, taking a breath and licking is dry lips.
"I'm leaving for England." He says, watching her carefully. She is lost, and it shows. He goes on. "The English have discovered who we are, our purpose, and we must strike quickly." She remains silent, staring at him, knowing there is more. "I may not return." He says slowly.
She looks at him for a long while. She suddenly looks away. "Is it something you must do? Does it come before all?"
"Arohi , I wouldn't leave you if I could spare it." He begs. He looks away. "I...I was sworn to the people of India before you, I am sorry."
She turns to look at him, her eyes afresh with unspent tears. She knocks him away, standing alone. "Why am I constantly reminded of that? Every night, I fear I could loose you, every day is spent longing for you! Listen to my heart, Arjun, it tells me to give you EVERYTHING! Yet you are never mine, only, when I belong to YOU!"
"Arohi , it is my duty to our people, to India!" He says, trying to walk toward her, but she moves away as if he is a disease.
"I don't give a damn about them. I care abut you. What if you fail? Hmm? What use would it be if it is a rash action, getting you all killed? It would make no difference to life here. Half these people hardly know you existed! But I would. And I wouldn't be able to live!" She says through gritted teeth.
"IT DOES MATTER!" he shouts. Remembering that people who could kill him are sleeping, they hush their voices once more. "It does matter." He says more quietly. "I would rather die for my country than live to know it still in suppression and we can do nothing." With every word, he takes a step closer to her.
"Why can you not stay here, and think it over, find a new place?" She says, stroking his arm.
He grabs her arm, holding it tightly in-between them. "Who are you loyal to? India, your country, your people, or Britain, your financial investors?" He spits when he says Britain.
"I am loyal to you." She says simply, as if she had just come from a long and weary day of working.
"I go at dawn." He says, releasing her arm. There is no negation in his voice. There bodies are so close now.
Suddenly, she reaches for a kiss, which he meets, deeply. He begins to move backward to the bed. They pull back briefly. "If I was to die tomorrow, I would want to have the taste of you on my lips." He says. They are so close to the bed and all she can feel is his warm skin, her hands wander around his back. Her robe is removed.
He backs her up onto the bed. He pulls out of their passionate kiss once more, looking at her for permission to go further. "I would rather have this one night with you, and spend a thousand lifetimes alone, then to have never have had this one night." She whispers.
Their bodies are entwining with each other, their hands are exploring. Dawn is in two hours, but they do not concentrate on that.
As she falls asleep beside Arjun, his arm on her waist, Arohi realizes she's impurified herself, and is no longer chaste. But she no longer cares. She's rather have disgraced herself with Arjun than to married to a proper gentleman with a fortune and commit the same sacred action. She falls asleep peacefully beside him, smelling his familiar scent os spices and some unnamable sweetness. When she awakes, he is gone. It is ten o'clock, and there is a small note on her bedside.
It read You were always first in my heart.
Arohi looked at the note, a tear dropped from her eye to her cheek and she said, "Tumko Na Bhool Payenge."
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