SS: The Rape Child - Note Feb 26 2012 - Page 16

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His eyes watched her small figure place a plate full of rajma and chawal. And as she filled up a glass of water for him, he couldn't help but point out how beautiful she looked. Her silky hair was pulled into a loose ponytail. Her creamy arms glittered under the glow of the chandelier. Her eyes sparkled as they watched the water fill up the glass. His throat tightened when he found himself looking at her for a little too long. He shouldn't be here. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. But his heart told him that it was the right thing to do.

And before he knew it, his steps traced towards her and a desire filled inside him. Even if it was the simple desire of...pointing out the tiny eyelash that was resting on her soft cheek.

Her eyes instantly went up to meet his when she saw him moving closer to her. The look in his eyes didn't scare her. But it still made her nervous. Her body somehow stiffened as his body crept closer to her. Heer tried to stop her heart fast racing at a lightening speed but it didn't budge.

Prem watched her fidget and instantly stopped for a second. But her slight smile made him certain that she knew he wouldn't do anything which wasn't appropriate. After standing exactly one foot away from her, he leaned slightly on the table and smiled.

"Kya hua?" Heer asked in a voice which was filled with nervousness. But the smile on her face reflected her excitement of being so close to him. She tried to mask her nervousness with a curious expression.

He smiled and slight pointed onto her cheek. Her hand instantly went up to her cheek where he pointed. After giving her cheek a slight rub, she brought her hand in front of her to examine what he was referring to. And at the sight of the tiny eye lash, a wide grin formed on her face.

She looked up at him with a how-did-you-know-I-believe-in-it look.

"Well, you seem like someone who believes in all that." Prem answered in a low tone as if instantly reading her mind.

She smiled and continued to gaze at him in appreciation.

"Ab jaldi wish karo. Mujhe zoroo ki bhook lagi hai." He grinned at her when he knew that she was staring for a little too long. Though it didn't bother him a bit, he knew that he had to keep his distance from her. Heer was completely innocent and in no way or form was he going to become attached to her. Just from the way she looked at him, he could tell that she had started to like him. When he was in college, he had witnessed skimpy girl drool over him left and right. But Heer was a different scenario all on its own. Heer deserved to be treated by a prince who wouldn't let a sorrow come near her soul. She deserved someone who would cherish her and give her everything she deserved. She deserved to be loved and pampered in all ways. And all of this, Prem would be capable of doing. But he would never be able to give her the respect that she deserved. He was the illicit child of Rishab Rampal, the man who had raped his mother. Even if he denied it, he knew what everyone thought of him in the society. In public, he was always treated with fairness. But he could easily detect the notion at the extreme end of their mind that said that Prem could possibly turn out to a replica of his indecent father.

No! Heer had to stay away from him. He can listen to and bear everything that people say about him. But if anyone else tries to point a finger at her, then they would have to deal with a Prem Juneja that has never witnessed before.

Heer noticed the change in his emotions. The slight smile on his face had vanished and a serious look overtook his face. His eyes were lowered and he was in some deep thought. Obviously, a thought that had irritated him. Hesitantly, she cleared her throat to catch his attention. And she did.

She saw the change in emotions again as he looked up at her and masked up another friendly smile. Gosh! He looked adorable.

Prem cleared his thoughts quickly and motioned her to make her wish. After gently placing the eyelash onto the back of her palm, she closed her eyes with a genuine smile playing on her lips. And finally she made a wish'

::

He watched her close her eyes. The innocence that poured out of her made his heart feel weak. He saw her concentrate on wishing something that she really wanted from the bottom of her heart.

Prem begged to the one above to give her whatever she asks for. And if she wishes something that he can do for her, then he would leave no stone behind to fulfill her wish. As he scrutinized her feature the next few seconds, he felt as if she was asking for another wish that she might not have expected to ask.

::

From the moment Heer closed her eyes, she had seen his face appear in front of her. The smile on her face was the reason behind that. But what she wanted from the one above was his happiness.

She wanted his mom to accept him. She wanted him to be as happy as anyone can ever be. She wanted his mom to be proud of him. She wanted him to never be away from his family.

And surprisingly, she wanted him to be with her forever. An image of him hugging her whizzed through her mind and she instantly jerked her eyes open.

::

He noticed the slight flushed appearance that over came her face. He didn't know what made her feel that way, but a nagging feeling in his mind told him that it might have something to do with him.

And this slightly scared him.

::

She plastered a fake smile to hide her heated face. And when she saw him smile and sit down on the chair, she let out a heavy sign.

Thank God he didn't notice anything wrong. Especially when it had to do with him.

Her thoughts were disturbed when she heard his husky voice.

"Blow it." Prem said as he settled comfortably in his seat. And she did just that. She watched the shed eyelash blow into the air and vanished. She knew her wish would come true. And she would do everything to make it come true. For him.

::

She sat down next to him in the attempt to give him some company while he ate. But deep down, she couldn't find a way to stay away from him. When he was near her, she felt a certain protection, a certain contentment. And as she saw him fill a spoonful of rajma and eat it, her heart nearly stopped.

She suddenly remembered that she had cook dinner tonight. And she suddenly became conscious of how they turned out to be. She watched his tight jaw chew perilously.

A distasteful expression overtook his face and he grabbed the glass of water gulping the water down.

Failed Heer Maan. Here she had worked hard for a whole two hours to make a special something for a special someone and what does she get, failure. A frown formed on her face and she signed heavily.

::

Prem couldn't wait to devour his whole plate of rajma. And obviously he had figured out that his Maa hadn't made the dinner. It just didn't have the motherly taste to it.

What it did have was a glitz of spices and a softness of love. From the corner of his eyes, he had seen her waiting for his appreciation. But he decided that if he had to create differences between them, then they had to start now.

He pretended to dislike his appetite. But all it took was one look into her eyes, her immensely disappointed baby-like eyes. And right then, Prem Juneja was a dead man.

::

The heartbreaking sight of her had made his heart lurch. The slightest frown on her face bothered him and before he knew it, the words came spilling out of his mouth.

"Accha khaana bana leti ho." Prem said with a smirk playing on his lips. He saw the realization dawn on her that he had been pulling her leg. But Prem forgot everything and only paid attention to her smile. Gosh Man! This was going to be tougher then he thought. If there was a smile that could kill, then it had to be possessed by a certain Ms. Maan.

She shyly smiled and lowered her eyes upon hearing his appreciation. While Prem finished eating, an awkward silence filled up in the dining room.

Prem could sense by the way she was fidgeting that she wanted to ask him or tell him something important. But she didn't know how to. As he drank the water after finishing the food, he decided to ask.

"Koi pareshani hai kya? You know you can always tell me if you want anything." Prem asked politely. And he mentally scolded himself for being a little too friendly then he should be. He had to keep his distance from her. His extra niceness would only give her the wrong message.

Heer looked into his warm and coffee colored eyes that had conquered her heart that the very first encounter. And his concern touched her. But she didn't know how to get it out.

Prem felt her get uncomfortable and decided that it would be best if his Maa could talk to her.

"It okay Heer. Tum Maa se kehna. You'll feel more comfortable with her. Aur woh tumhe manaa bhi nahi karegi kissi baat ka." Prem added.

What? No! It's not that. It's just that I want to tell you first but I can't because I keep drowning into your eyes every time I look up at you to talk. Heer mentally told him.

She saw his empty dish and proceeded to take it to the kitchen. He protested but she took it ignoring him. He simply shook his head and went to wash his hands. When he came back, he saw her cleaning the dishes. As she worked diligently, a few thin strands from her ponytail escaped and irritated her eyes. He had this severe urge to move them but also enjoyed the way she looked. He decided that he would wait until she was done, wish her goodnight, and head off to bed.

After cleaning the dishes, she washed her hands, dried them on a cloth, placed the extras back into the fridge and proceeded to turn the kitchen lights off when she noticed him still there.

"Tum sooye nahi abhi tak?" Heer asked with a pleased smile.

"Jaa hi raha hu'good night." Prem said as his steps slowly traced back towards the stairs to Preet's room. But her soft voice caught his even before he took his third step.

"Prem'" Heer said softly. He turned around and slightly smiled at her.

"Huh?" He answered. He had a feeling that what she wanted to say was going to come out now.

"Woh'.mai'tumse'baat" The words were just flowing out as her nervousness increased.

He walked a little closer to her sensing that it was something important.

"Koi problem hai kya?" He asked in a tone full of sincere concern.

"Aaj mai Preet ke saath bahar gayi thi. Aur wapas atte waqt, usne mujhe bataya ke'tum'Choti Maa'mera matlab hai-" Heer didn't need to say anymore as Prem caught up on what she wanted to say.

"Mai unka najayaz beta hu. Yehi naa?" Prem said rather torn from the inside that she had to find out. But he was sort of glad that it was out. Now she would not become attached to him the way he was to her. She knew his truth now so she would keep her distance from him like others did. But he didn't know how wrong he was until she spoke again.

"Tum najayaz nahi ho Prem." Heer said in a soft voice. Prem simply watched her, completely taken back by her words. This was so not how he expected her to react.

"Isme tumhari kya galti hai? Pata hai, jab se mai yaha ayi hu, tab se maine tum dono ki dooriyaa dekhi hai. Mai janti hu ke kitna mushkil hoga unke liye. Lekin joh nufrat woh tumhe dikhati hai, woh sirf unka gussa hai uss haadse ke liya. Choti Maa tumse bahot pyaar karti hai." Heer softly whispered the last line to him.

Prem felt the tears prick up inside his eyes. This girl thinks that his mother loves him when he knows for sure how much his mother hates the sight of him. He looked at her and simply stated.

"Tum so jao Heer. Bahot dair ho chuki hai." Prem turned to leave when he felt her soft fingers form a grip around his tight wrist.

"I'm really sorry. Mai tumhe dukhi nahi karna chati thi. Bas mujhe laga ke mera yeh kehna zaroori hai." Heer apologized for her abrupt speaking when he turned and silenced her. He let out a heavy sign before he started.

"Heer, ek aurat kabhi nahi bardaast kar sakti ke jis insaan ne uski izzat ke saath kilvaad kiyo ho, woh uski bache ko zindagi de. Lekin Maa ne mujhe janam diya. Aur tab se le kar aaj tak, maine sirf unhe dard aur aansoo diye hai. Mai nahi chata ke mai aage bhi unhe itna dard du. Preet ne tumhe yeh sab iss liye kaha hoga kyunki woh har tareeka dhundega mujhe yaha rakhne ka." Prem felt his throat tighten when he saw fresh tears fill up her beautiful eyes. She had felt the pain inside him. But he couldn't stand the slight traces of tears in her eyes. He abruptly turned away and continued.

"Papa aur Preet ne mujhe bahot kuch diya hai. Lekin mai unke chote se parivaar mai fit hi nahi hota. Maa ko mere chehre se nafrat hai kyunki mai unka beete huye kal ki yaad dilate hu. Papa mujhe Preet ke hisse ki property deena chahte hai. Yeh sab sahi nahi hai Heer. Yeh property, yeh paise sab kuch Preet ka hai. Mujhe kuch nahi chahiye. Phir bhi woh nahi samaj te." Prem said rather frustrated. He didn't find himself to deserve any of it. But her soft voice made him stiffen yet her words gave comfort to his heart.

She found it hard to stop her tears after hearing his innocent pleas to his father and his brother. There was no stopping now as she knew that every day, every hour, every minute, and every second, she was falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

"Sab tumhe bahot pyaar karte hai Prem. Tumhe sirf iss baat se shikayat hai ke tum yeh sab deserve nahi karte phir bhi tumhe sab kuch mil raha hai. Aur jis cheez ko tum sab se zyada chete ho, woh tumhe nahi mil rahi." Heer said while she wiped away her tears. She went up and faced him.

"You deserve all of it Prem. Tum iss ghar ke bade bete ho. Aur agar tumhe yeh lagta hai ke tum iss ghar par ek booj ho toh phir mai bhi toh booj hi huyi naa." Heer knew that what she just said had a bizarre effect on him. His eyes totally gave his feelings away and yelled at her to not say that. Her sudden change in tone and thinking had caught him off guard.

"Tum booj nahi ho Heer. Hum dono ki baat alag hai." He stated in a firm yet husky tone. But Heer stood obstinate.

"Ji nahi. Baat ek hi hai. Aur agar tum khud kamaa kar apna ek ghar dhoond sakte ho toh mai bhi. Mujhe nahi rehna yaha yeh soch kar ke mai booj hu." Heer spat back fiercely. She could see his emotions fluctuate from concern, to anger, to sadness, to concern again.

"Mai kal hi uncle se keh dungi ke mujhe jab chahiye. Aur apni kamai se sab karungi." Heer stated stubbornly. Preet was right about everything. His plan was working and she had to bite the inside of her lips to stop from smiling at her success.

Prem panicked hearing her say that. He didn't want her to feel that she was not welcome here. This was now her home. How could he make her feel that she wasn't welcome here?

No! He had to stop her from being irrational.

"Heer, aisa nahi hai. Mai sirf aur sif apni baat kar raha tha. Yeh ghar mujhse zyada tumhara hai. Booj mai hu. Tum iss ghar ke liye kabhi booj nahi ho sakti. Agar maine anjaane mai kuch galat bol diya ho toh please mujhe maaf kardo. Maine tumhara bura kabhi nahi soocha." Prem pleaded to her sincerely. She felt her heart being stabbed when she saw his eyes glitter with tears of regret.

Heer turned away from him as she knew that her tears were also about to trail down. It hurt her to do this to him. But she had to do this to give him his mother. It would only make her feel proud and joyous to know that she was capable to do something for him.

But still, knowing that she had hurt him made her heart cry even more. And to keep her secret a secret, she simply walked towards Prem's room and shut the door.

::

Prem watched her leave crying because of him. Tears easily poured out of his eyes as he slumped onto the living room sofa. I'm always hurting everyone even when it's something that I can't ever imagine doing. First I hurt Papa when I tell him I don't want to work for him. Then I hurt Preet when I don't accept anything expensive that he gives me. I have hurt Maa by my existence itself. And now her'why her? Why did I have to tell her all that? Why did I make her feel that I don't want her here? Like hell I want her here, close to me. I love her damn it! He continued to mentally scold himself for everything that he had done wrong.

His heart was already filled up with so much sorrow that he felt like it would have been best if he hadn't existed in the first place.

::

She watched him from the side of the stairs. Tears didn't find a stopping point. And once again, she witnessed him cursing himself for everything that went wrong. Why did he have to be this way? Why was his heart full of so much love that it had the ability to tear anyone up? She had seen and heard Prem and Heer's entire conversation. She would be a fool if she hadn't caught on what Heer was trying to do. Each time, Heer had looked away from Prem, she had seen her cry earnestly. Heer was trying to make Prem understand that his father loved him, his brother loved him, and most importantly she, his very own mother, loved him dearly. Each word that had been said by him was imprinted into her brain. She knew her son had a gem of a heart. But so much love from everyone was not expected.

How could he think that she didn't love him? He was her blood, her flesh, a delicate piece of her very own body. She loved her son. And today, she had seen the one thing that she could give him to make him feel loved again and give him abundant happiness'.Heer.