Originally posted by: loveabletwinz
Part 4
"Kyun ke unhe samaj mein nahin aa raha hai ke woh aaj raath ko kya pehne," Roshni answered. --- TAUBA! Jaz, yeh ladki bhi na! bekaar mein heer ki jaan ke peeche padi hain! hehe! but you have to admit..it is a big deal...i mean if it was my engagement and i didnt know what to wear...id be freaking out too! 😃😃😃 ps:wow...you guys are really backed up...this was part 4 😲
When darkness finally fell, the house was simply glowing. There were beautiful arrangements of exotic flowers everywhere. T he house was highlighted by the twinkle of thousands of lights and candles. The guests were all mingling, laughing and chatting. beautiful descriptions jaz! I don't know what it is..maybe it's the dim lights and the music in my room creating the effect..but these lines sound so pretty right now :-D oh oh....reading in a romantic atmosphere...is it me or is that weird 😕...lol...im just kidding...😆...i need light cuz i make notes...especially when im reading books...😳
She refused to give up her white wardrobe, because engagement or no engagement, Heer was still Prem's widow ' OMG! Heart wrenching! *sob*
The funny butterfly-like feeling in his stomach was expressed with the slight fidgeting of his hands ' mwah! Fabuloso! Who would ever thinking of writing about butterflies like that! This is so real! I can almost envision manmeet doing that! lmao...i like this manmeet better...he's real...the one in Ek Paal was just...ewww!!! 🤢
Aaj mere liyeh saree pehnoge?" aye haye! Kisi ki nazar na lage *ufff, too late! Those stupid maan brothers ki tho lag gayi nazar already, but hey, never too late no? *giggle* ha ha...i love your giggles 😃😃😃
"Aab teri boyfriend ko saree pasand hai toh itna toh tujhe karni hi hogi," Maya teased. "Aagar tune nahin siki, kya paata shayad Prem ko hi tujhe saree pehenna naa hoga." Oh hoooo! Maya is outright besharam! Hehe! P.S ' I love the nanand-bhabhi relationship :-D sometimes the bhabi's teasing...as embarrassing as they may be...its kinda funny 😆....
Awwiie, jaz, that saree is BEAUTIFUL!!! Heer must have looked STUNNING in it :-D thank u 😳
He looked utterly dashing in a black suit, which he paired with a black shirt and violet tie. He stood with his arms behind his back and a smile on his face. ' ahh! Killer combo! U nailed it jaz! *SIGH* Prem is hotness personified! *PHEW* i have a thing for guys in black...it dates back to my Jai Walia days back on the KS forum 😳😳😳
The look in his eyes changed from a man who cared about her, to one of a man who would cherish her ' Jaz, I absolutely adore how you brought this line back in here! so tender *faints* aabhi tak hosh aaya ke nahin? 😆
UF! The pendant! And Prem giving it to heer! What a beautiful thought! *goodness, I am going to HAVE to find other adjectives soon*' this is so pretty! Im almost choking up! But no no, calming down! I'll make it through! I just keep thinking of her hideous brothers! Ufff! And lifehouse, jaz! I LOVE them! They have the greatest songs ever! The lyrics to that song are so powerful! Fabulous choice! It's such a peaceful song no? i love...LOVE...LOVE.. lifehouse...it is one of my favorite songs...it fits so many situations and so many couples...and its perfect for Premeer 😳😳😳
Tumhe khone ka daar," he said in a low whisper. ' no prem! NO! touchwood! Prem shub shub bola karon!! *sigh* have I mentioned I HATE heer's brothers? I despise them! UGHHH!!!! Gosh jaz, ur going to make us cry all over again! Cutty with u! yes, this silsila goes on! I promise u MANY more cutties throughout this SS/FF! sad naa...he didnt loose Prem...Heer lost him instead 😭😭😭...i know..im crying too...and its my fault...but hey...whats done is done...😭
Ah! *FAINT* the confession was beautiful! Simple, but so heartwarming! The kiss was just as amazing! It was written perfectly! Not overly done! LOVED IT!
Nahin! Bilkul nahin! Tum kya soochte ho? Aagar tum mere bina nahin jee sakte, phir main tumhare bina kaise jee sakti hoo?" Heer asked. - *SIGH* she'll keep loving, till she is sure she has won him! *tear*
"You don't love her because she is beautiful. She is beautiful because you love her." AYE HAYEE!! *SIGH* *collapse* paani! Jaldi! That just makes me so happy inside :-D i know....im waiting for someone to say things that make me feel like that on the inside 😳😳😳...abhi tak koi milla nahin 😃
Heer smiled at the irony. "Main vidva lagti hoon, kyun ke main vidva hoon." ' ahh! Jaaz! Dil pe khanjar chala di! That is so painful to hear! I love how you don't forget to add heer's pain in all of this' even though she is happy for Veera, she has never forgotten! And you add them in the most unexpected places! the ff is called Tanhai...so Heer's pain is the key to all of this...we cant forget about her...even if other do 😭
Her broken faith, her shattered dreams, her tortured soul ' they all sent out pain filled curses. ' *sob* the descriptions are perfect! U do this so well jaz! thank u 😳
She cried that night, like so many other nights. She cried for the ceremonies that she would never have with Prem. She cried for all the secret moments she would never have with Prem. She cried for all of the laughs she wouldn't be able to share. She cried for the man who was her world. She cried for the love that was her life. She cried for the world and life she had lost in the blink of an eye. ' u did it! U finally did it! I was holding up SO well throughout this entire update! And now I'm almost swollen and teary eyed! Thank you VERY MUCH! Cuttyyyy! This was brilliant! I cant imagine what heer is going through!! Just give me a one 'way ticket into ur FF~ I need to go smack those slimy brothers of hers! And heer needs a hug! hehe...if i dont make you all cry at least one in each update...then my job is not done 😃😃...so no...my job for this part is DONE 😛...love you!!!
And PREET!! WHOO? WHAT?! WHERE? WHEN?! Whats up in ur mind missy? I want to know what preet is upto.. and most importantly, who he is! If u haven't noticed, we're in complete denial that our prem is dead! So we have all hopes from you! Don't let it die ! pweaseee! Haat jhodke bheek mangoing! Pweaaseeee ha ha...Preet Mehta...new in line for Heer's affection 😉😉😉
phew!one down, two to go! hehe! i tell you jaz, your going to be SO proud of us!
bring it on 😃
Originally posted by: loveabletwinz
Part 5
Their memories, their laughter, their tears, their hearts and their souls all resided in that one room. ' you have the greatest lines in the beginning and the end! Ofcourse, the middle is no less'but u have the most heart wrenching, beautiful lines out here :-D gotta grab the attention in the beginning and gotta leave them weak in the knees at the end so they come back for more 😛
"I'm sorry that I'm happy," Veera said. ' OMG!! POOR CHUTKI! Ufff, I feel so bad for her!
*SIGH* Heer's dialogue about Prem! She lives with his many memories, and that's all she has left. true...all she has left is the memories...
Heer had to admit, in the atmosphere of Veera's wedding, she caught herself smiling more and more often than she had in the past seven years. It felt good to smile and be merry with her family after such a long time ' well most of the anyway ' FINALLY! Heer deserves some happiness no? what after what her stupid brothers did! AHHH!!! Everytime I think of it, I want to scream! I can't believe Heer hasn't smacked her darn father yet! Ughh!! Heer doesnt know half of the story yet...aage aage dekho...hota hai kya 😛😛😛
While everyone else laughed, they shared a knowing glance. They shared a split second of pain, they shared a moment, they shared a weak smile ' they shared a moment with Prem --- first of all, the transition from present to past is BRILLIANT! It flowed so well! And second "they shared a moment with Prem" WOW!!!!! That is beautiful! Only you could have thought of something like that! I had goosebumps! Totally! I don't think I'll ever get over that line' I told you, we're such suckers for little things *SIGH* thank u for noticing...i put sooooooo much effort into the transitions...im glad someone finally noticed 😳...Maya and Heer's bond is deeper then anyone will know 😳😳😳...its beautiful 😭😭...but so sad 😭
Awwiii!! Prem scared the living day lights out of heer! How cuteee! Oh hooo! Chuhaa! TAUBA!!! Aisa chuha tho main bhi chahoon! *giggleeee* ."Inna bada chuha! LAUGH OUT LOUD! Kaash, ham sab ke paas prem jaisa chuha hota naaa?!?! gosh jaz, I am officially in love with Maya bhabhi! "Iss chuha ko tum nahin maar sakte Harman. Yeh chuha toh tumhari behen ki jaan hai ' I LOVE HERRR!!! Theres only one person who understands her so well! Ahhh! PREM!! JAZZ!!! U did NOT kill PREM! We KNOW IT! He is still alive! I told you, we are in denial! I know you are going to bring him back! And u better missy! Varna you'll get tired hearing the number of cutties we have in store for you *hmphs at you* i know! i want a chuha like that too!! uff...intezaar karte karte main thakgayi hoon 😭😭😭 so not fair...come one...give me something...😉😉😉
Heer and Prem continued to fight until Prem put down the laddoos and grabbed her. He held her arms down and brought her body close. He started into her eyes for a while until he finally brought her in for a hug. "God, I have missed you," he said as he held her.
"I missed you too," Heer said. She pulled back only slightly and placed a quick kiss on his lips before hugging him again.
GOODNESS GRACIOUSS!! THIS IS SOO BEAUTIFUL! Its so simple, yet so amazingly lovely! I love the little interactions between them! I love this better than a passionate kiss! *SIGH* I think I've just lost my screws! Hehe! i liked the way that Prem said he missed her than the way Heer said it...i LOVE him!!! 😃
Heer looked at her three brothers. They were all looking at her, and Heer could have sworn, just for a brief moment, there was a spark of hope in their eyes. ' no no! don't give in heer! I still don't like your brothers! Aur tadpao unhe! VERY BAD boys! *STICK TONGUE OUT AT THEM* she wont...she hates them too much 😉
Hearing the man who killed Prem take his name caused Heer to feel a sudden burst of fury that she had never felt before. "Maat lo mere Prem ka naam aapni zubaan se!" she yelled. She grabbed to the chair so tight that her knuckles were turning white and her breathing became labored. ' Wow, it is weird if I say that I can actually feel her anger? Such powerful lines Jaz! WELL DONE! *bravo bravo* thank u...thank u...*bows*...😳
OMGG!! You just GOT to love maya bhabi! The "P"! AYE HAYEEE!! Main mar jawaan! Maya bhabhi has the coolest little ideas up her mind!
One night he had been so tired that he had fallen asleep as Heer talked about her day. She didn't bother to wake him since he was sleeping peacefully. Instead she removed his shoes and covered him with a blanket before snuggling up next to him. Heer knew what could potentially arise with having Prem in her bed, but she didn't worry about that. She trusted Prem and she knew he would never do something like that with her. After all, if sex was what he wanted from her, he could have taken that advantage long ago --- GASP! Im out of breath! This is so beautiful! I don't know what it is about this! But just the fact that Prem is such an amazing human being ! uffff! And also that heer took his shoes off for him' such a "couple-like" thing to do~ I told you, we love little details :-D Prem's character is too good to be true...sigh...even i made him better than any one of my hero's before...well...maybe not...cuz Prem in Ek Paal was pretty awesome 😳
And who the heck is Preet Mehtaa??! You have us impatient as heckk! And yes, mind you, we haven't read the next part yet! So *SIGH* the wait is killing us! I know you have something brilliant up your sleeve! Now its just a matter of waiting and see what ghul you khilao us! Haha! I think im going to say this in EVERY comment'. Prem is NOT dead! He cant beeee! Bring him bacckkkk! Pweaseeeeeeeeeeee! The more flashbacks I read of him, the more I find myself hoping and wishing for Heer that Prem would just be here! just hold her tight and have their little time! yes...Preet mehta...but you shouldnt complain...because you read his entry in oen go...so u didnt have to deal with all the suspense 😆😆😆...cheaters!! lol..."what ghul to khilao us" 🤣 that line is too awesome!!! 👏👏👏
*SIGH* heer's outburst with her brothers just made me cry! It was so beautifully written! Jazz! Heer deserves happiness! She deserves prem' its about time you bring him back in here! AHHHH!!! We are all eating our brains out ! pweaseeeeee! Varna we we'll be forever cutty with you *sob sob tear tear* The best part about this update was your writing of Heer's emotions! It's a mixture of pain and joy' and it makes such a great ensemble! You have such brilliant skill! Ufff, how do you manage to make us tear up with each update? FABULOSO!! *clap clap* i was so dying to do that scene...my hands were just itching for that...lol...kya karoon...i cant help it...😆😆😆....lol...and yes...she definitely gave them a piece of her mind...and if you ask me...it was about time!!! 👏
Okay, before this bak bak goes on, we better get to the next update :-D lol...cant wait 😃
Cya soon!
Love tons,
AnnJan!
/QUOTE]
JAZ
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