On My Shoulder
No lights. No TV on, and muted. No loud popping music. No window's open to let out the fresh aroma of her favorite pasta. The apartment building was so bare without her character carved in it.
Kian stepped into the room still rendering the unusual atmosphere of his home. They were together for over a year now. And though they had not yet been bonded by the essence of marriage, their relationship had surpassed the limitations of anything other. In those few months that they had been living together, this was the first time Kian arrived to a barren apartment.
Turning on the lights, he noticed there was a small note stuck on the fridge. Moving closer to the fridge, he read the note to himself: 'I'm gonna be late… I left you something to eat in the fridge. Don't wait for me'. He read the note again, confused this time. Just this morning she had been so happy; he tried to think of the possibilities of what could have happened to change that.
A sulk took over his face as he opened the fridge. There were two Chicken Parmesan Paninis still fresh in their container's left over for him. He closed the fridge, not hungry anymore; wondering how she expected for him to eat without her. Life wasn't the same without her anymore. When someone important enters your life, it's hard to ever let go of them. Even with the whole world around you then, there's still loneliness. But lonely wasn't the only thing Kian was feeling; he worried for his darling too.
Rubina never let out her feelings to him. It hurt for him to not know sometimes, but he understood that she liked keeping her problems to herself. The most he could do was tell her that he was there for her. But right now, he couldn't even do that. Walking into his bedroom he wondered where she could have gone.
All around the world
All around the world
Someone needs somebody
Let it be a shield
All around the world
All around the world
Someone's feeling lonely
He tossed and turned in his bed for the last few hours. Even sleep had abandoned him as of now. Taking his shirt off, he walked around the dark room for a while; hoping to free himself from the suffocating feeling. He recalled the memories, the times they spent cuddling on the couch watching a horror movie, or ate ice cream in the middle of the night all because she wanted to. He laughed soundlessly when the memory of him trying to get her to sleep came to mind, she had smacked his head with her spoon before continuing to eat her vanilla ice cream.
He recalled their first fight, all over a cat. She wanted it, he didn't. It had arrived at their doorstep in the middle of the night, meowing and crying while pawing at the door; he had been romancing with her when it happened. She left him to see what it was about and entered their bedroom with a gray colored kitty in her arms, cooing at it and looking at him with big doe eyes. He had shaken his head, groaning as she plopped the feline on the bed, right on his leg where the monstrous thing continued to purr and rub against him.
"Meow" almost as if hearing his thoughts, the cat which they [meaning her] had decided to name Roo, entered the room and came to him. Kian glanced down at the cat and commented, "Ye miss her too eh?" before leaning down to softly pat him and turning back to look at the dark clouds outside the window. Where could she be at this time of night? He sighed as he turned away from the view to look at the dresser where a picture lay.
It was of them at the beach, he was carrying her to the water while she was kicking her legs around and screaming at him not to dare even try that. As if a bulb had gone off in his head, he jumped around the room, picking up a shirt and pulling it over his head while running out of the apartment to his car.
…But I know you never will
'Cause when it all gets too much
Put your head down on my shoulder
A little warmth when it gets colder
Now I don't know the things that you're going through
But you can put your head down
On my shoulder
Wear the storm till it blows over
I know you're there for me too
Know I'll be there for you
He drove calmly though his hands were itching to race down the streets, not wanting to get held up by some cop he listened to his brain and followed the rules. His mind was filled with so many questions, wondering about many things that he was starting to feel a headache coming up. A while later he reached his destination, the beach stood there in front of him. It was bare and silent, the waves hitting the shore softly; the only sound that echoed down the barren beach.
Somebody stood near the shore, letting the water lap at their feet and even from this distance he could tell it was her. Her long black hair molded into the darkness that surrounded them, she was wearing one of her Anarkali suits. She only wore those when she was in one of her "moods" either happy or depressed. And he knew it was not the former one, her not jumping in his arms the minute he opened the door was enough of a hint.
He walked towards her, the sand crunching under his feet softly as he made his way. His blue eyes watched warily as her arms crossed over her stomach, a packet in her left hand clenched tightly in a fist. His mind went over every possibility, she got fired, but then why would she be fired? She had a fight with her friend, but if that was the case, she would've come straight to him and started badgering him. He decided it would be better to just ask her and placed his hand on her shoulder, she didn't move.
Having felt his presence surround her the minute he had began walking towards her, she didn't even bat an eye at his touch. She knew that he was worried, it was coming off of him in waves, but she simply sighed and turned the packet towards him, still looking out in the darkness. He took it with a trembling hand, for some reason his gut was clenching tightly inside him and anxiety entered his beating heart.
Opening the little blue and white packet, he reached for its contents and took them out with utter care. They were pictures. Of them, in their apartment, on the beach, at a party with some friends and most importantly they were of them. Not something that told him it was over between them or some depressing letter a loved one had sent. But they were their memories, the pictures that showed their happiness, their love.
Flipping through them, he smiled at the ones where they made faces, dressed in their night clothes, and laughed softly at the ones where they were at a party and dancing like crazy. Placing them back into the packet, he made a mental note to look through them with more patience and time. He still needed to find out why she was here, alone when normally she would have been back at the apartment in his arms by this time as they tried to sleep.
"What's the matter love?" he dared to ask in a whisper, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head against hers. The blonde color of his hair clashed against the dark locks that were hers, and his deep blue eyes that so often locked with her brown orbs were her favorite part of him.
He felt her shiver slightly as she replied in a whisper, echoing with despair and slight pain, "Jacob called…" He froze eyes wide as his hands retreated back to his own side and he stepped away from her, not realizing that she had flinched at his actions. That name had so often fueled his anger and annoyance in the time he had known her, granted he hadn't met the man…but the hatred that enveloped his heart at the mention of him was justified. That man had been her first boyfriend and as she claimed at that time, also her last, until Kian had entered her life like a miracle and love had once again warmed her broken heart.
She turned around, her eyes looking into his, searching for something as he stared back with an emotionless face. With a heaving sigh, she threw her arms around him and hid her face in his broad chest, his arms automatically wrapped around her. A moment passed by as they stood there, the wind throwing itself at their frames and caressing them, as if understanding their pain and wanting to make it better.
The waves crashed the shore, lapping at their feet, the cold water causing goose bumps to rise across their bare arms. He waited silently, with baited breath for her to tell him that she wanted to go back to her old lover, and leave him in the cold, alone.
"I love you. He doesn't matter to me anymore, but his words stung…and now that you're with me, it's as if you're the barrier protecting me. I'm sorry for disappearing, I guess I was…"she trailed off, her head hidden from him but the sudden wetness that fell across his chest allowed him to come to the conclusion that tears were escaping her big eyes. He raised his hands and drew her face away, and saw her eyes closed with tear marks on her cheeks.
You're waiting for a change
You're waiting for the day
When all that you remember is with you once again
There's a long road ahead
Stretches out for miles
And if you want some company
I'll walk with you a while
Oh… and when the road gets too rough
"You were what?" he asked, his breath caressing her face lightly and she opened her eyes but kept her gaze on his chin, not daring to meet his eyes.
"I was scared of losing you" she confessed silently, guilt echoing through her voice as she bit her lip, waiting for his response.
Suddenly everything seemed to make sense to him, her disappreance at the call and being quiet and withdrawn when he came. She thought and had actually felt that he would leave her like that jerk did. With a growl he asked, "what did he say to you?" causing her to gulp and shake her head. She knew that once he got angry, only getting that anger out was able to calm him.
"I wont do anything" he assured her with innocence dripping from his tone, but she simply rose her eyebrow at him and shook her head, not wanting to remember the conversation that had taken place mere hours ago.
She was flipping through the pictures, sitting on the recliner chair with music blasting from the stereo. Stopping at the picture that had her sleeping on the sofa, leaning against his shoulder as he stared down at her with adoring eyes, she sighed at the look of love clearly visible on his face. She sure was a lucky gal to get someone like Kian in her life, everyday with him was like a breath of fresh air, his caresses and understanding nature made her want to simply hug him and stay in his arms.
With an adoring look, she caressed his face in the picture and grinned to herself, picking up her cell to send him a text when it began ringing. The unknown number made her curious and she answered with a happy tone.
"Hello?" she placed the pictures back in the packet, mentally making a note to remind herself to surprise Kian with them.
"Rubina? It's been such a long time since we last talked" she froze at the voice that replied. Eyes wide with something akin to fear, she clenched the phone tightly in a grip, not wanting to believe that it really was him.
"You…how dare you call me?" she asked, her voice filled with anger as she choked back on the emotion that begged to be released.
"Yes me. I just wanted to catch up my dear, what's the problem? Oh yes, before I forget, I wanted to tell you about the wonderful news…I'm getting married" nonchalently he let her know something that made her freeze.
"Ma-married?" a stuttering answer had him smirking with relishing satisfaction.
"Yes, can you believe it? I proposed to Whitney just a week ago and she of course, said yes. She's always wanted to be married, even when we dated back during school" a reminder of the times she had seen him with her, just a few weeks of their breaking up, he had found a new companion in the form of his ex-girlfriend.
"I'm sure you're wondering why I called you to tell you this, since well…we're not exactly the best of friends at the moment, or even friends at all. But I wanted you to know that I'm happy, I am amazingly happy with her, she gives me the peace, the excitement that you were never able to come close to, never" words that intended on cutting through the heart did just that and she flinched.
Never replying to him, but listening to the words as silent tears began to fall down her cheeks unknowingly to her.
"You can never make a man happy, you don't have that type of commitment, that type of pleasure a man needs from a woman, and you will never be able to make it with someone, they will always leave you, tired of having to deal with your emotional and stupid drama…always. Oh, look at the time, bye-bye now" he hung up with those last words and she was left listening to the dial tone.
It seemed so stupid now, to pay attention to his words, but there was one thing about her that she had never been able to change. Harsh words always managed to get to her, no matter how stupid they were, they always managed to sting her heart and make her think twice about everything. Even the things, she took pleasure in being so sure about, were not spared from this scrutinity.
He sighed at her stubborness and simply hugged her closer to him and placed a soft kiss on her head. He would call the idiot later on and give him something to remember, he promised himself, as revenge for causing her to feel this fear. Kian worked so hard to gain her trust and love, he was not about to let some idiotic ex of hers screw that up for them.
As the two walked back towards his car, arms wrapped around the other's waist, he began to whisper softly. They were a few words from her favorite song that caused her to smile softly and kiss his chin. They echoed around them as the wind tugged at their clothing playfully before they entered his car and sped down the street, back to the comfort of their home and the loving arms of the other.
You can put your head down
On my shoulder
A little warmth when it gets colder
I don't know the things that you're going through
But you can put your head down
On my shoulder
Wear the storm till it blows over
I know you're there for me too
Know I'll be there for you
For you
=||=
Hey Guys! If u have read my leaving note, then u know that this is one of the shots i said i would be posting before leaving. This shot was originally Kimz, aka Kimmu's idea. So the credit goes to her, she wrote half of it, before she couldn't continue it and it was passed down to me and i managed to finish it a month later. 😆 In my opinion, my writing is completely sucky compared to hers, i bet you guys can tell which parts hers, and which is mine. But i hope you all will enjoy it still...*grins*
So comment? Like Button? Or maybe even some chappals? go ahead, we enjoy em all..
- Rinki
ps- the song is "On my shoulder" by Westlife. Its a really sweet song, do listen to it while reading, you'll get the better feel of the story...
